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(Nettavisen)   "When does the fjord close?" Silly questions from silly tourists in Norway   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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12268 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2004 at 2:14 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

98 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-08-03 09:40:18 AM  
Christ, people are farking stupid.
I want to know how these people were smart enough to make
the money necessary to travel all the way to Norway in the
first place.
2004-08-03 09:51:29 AM  
What is a fjord?
2004-08-03 09:53:45 AM  
fjord - the crinkly bits around the coast of Scandinavia, or in future projects Africa.
2004-08-03 10:06:20 AM  
I think they should just be happy anyone decides to go to Norway.
2004-08-03 10:07:27 AM  
When I worked at a tourist attraction for a while, the stupidest question was always some variant of the following: "What time does the 3:00 tour leave?" "Uhmmm... 3:00."
2004-08-03 10:18:12 AM  
"..asked if it was possible to take a day trip through the
polar circle to the North Pole because his son really
wanted to meet Santa Claus.

Wow. Ok, you will want to take a right hand turn at the
Svalbard, then rub yourself with whale blubber and kick the
first polar bear you see in the nuts. He will tell you
where you can find Santa.
2004-08-03 10:25:00 AM  
I sold T-Shirts one summer in Myrtle Beach....I actually had people ask what the differene between a medium and a large is. My answer, " The large is just a little bit bigger."

Another of my favorites was --what happens to myrtle beach when all the tourists leave? My smart arse answer was "Everything closes down and the people go into hibernation." A few people even went "REALLY!" Farking Idiots.
2004-08-03 10:52:11 AM  
Unfortunately, they are all valid questions, if you just stop to think about it for a minute.
2004-08-03 10:55:54 AM  
2004-08-03 09:51:29 AM Smookyfufu [TotalFark]

What is a fjord?

It's the place that my parrot is pining for.
2004-08-03 11:55:36 AM  
fjord - easily identifiable by Slartybartfast's signature.

2004-08-03 12:51:37 PM  
isn't a fjord a kind of automobile?
2004-08-03 02:19:36 PM  
superbeerchan beat me to it.
2004-08-03 02:20:32 PM  
2004-08-03 02:20:48 PM  
"Cily Samuelsen, 31, and Marianne Hgsnes, 27, at the tourist information office in Bergen stated that the questions never SEIZE to amaze them."

ha! who's stupid now, olaf?
2004-08-03 02:21:42 PM  
. . . never seize to amaze them . . .
Dang ferriners, need to learn proper English before making fun of 'Mericans.
2004-08-03 02:23:00 PM  
I think there should be some sort of law that keeps stupid Americans from going overseas and validating the sterotypes most of the rest of the world has about us.
2004-08-03 02:25:00 PM  
It's the place that my parrot is pining for.

Eclectic wins this thread - move on.

Must be a Norwegian Blue??
2004-08-03 02:25:50 PM  
Did someone say McFjortis?!
2004-08-03 02:26:35 PM  

Who speaks ENGLISH?? Last time I checked, we lived here in America! We speak American here! People in Canadia speak Canadian, people in Australia speak Austrian, and we speak American!
2004-08-03 02:27:11 PM  
Fark the fjords and Midnight Suns . . . when I go to Oslo I'll ask, where can I fjind some sweet blonde Valkyrie love?

/o's supposed to have slashes thru them, but Fark apparently doesn't like teh Character Map . . .
2004-08-03 02:28:16 PM  
superbeerchan, TheRealShadowspawn, Pablo_Roo

actually, HenryFnord beat us all.

/enthusiastic golf claps for Fnord
2004-08-03 02:28:47 PM  
...People in Canadia speak Canadian

Nah, it's all Hanglish and jouale now.
2004-08-03 02:28:50 PM  
We get that stuff all the time here, too.... Popular bumber sticker in AK: "It's tourist season. Can we shoot `em?"

"When do you turn on the Northern Lights?" was my favorite....
2004-08-03 02:29:32 PM  
Imeant2dothat, I second that emotion.

/was just trying to see his name spelled right
2004-08-03 02:30:23 PM  
From my time in Yosemite (8 years):

1: "How long is the two hour tour?"
2: "What time do they turn the falls off?"
3: "Where do they cage the animals at night?"
4: "Where is Old Faithful?" (wrong park)
5: "What time is it going to snow?"

We used to keep a book at the front desk to write them down.

el_hueso in the damn mall
2004-08-03 02:31:45 PM  
During my summers home from university, I worked in a tourism centre in a town outside of Toronto, Canada. The questions some people asked were truly bizarre. I always thought it was an urban myth, but there are some people that think they can cross the US-Canada border and instantly encounter snow in the middle of the summer. I also had people freak out on me because I didn't know details of the Calgary Stampede which was occuring 3000 kilometres away on the other side of the continent.
2004-08-03 02:31:57 PM  
Fjixed or repaired daily?
Gee, speaking as a former Boston Attorney (tourism tripping over business kinda town), I have to say, I've never seen or heard anything stupid come out of the yap of a non-American tourist.
2004-08-03 02:33:17 PM  
Pshaw--forget Norway; Wi not trei a holiday in Sweden this yer?
See the loveli lakes
The wonderful telephone system
And mani interesting furry animals.
Sweden--where the fjords never close, and the moose never bite!
2004-08-03 02:34:03 PM  
As my sister and her friends were crossing the border on a trip to Montreal one college night, one of her friends asked the border patrol when they would be required to come back.

"Well, don't we have to be back before midnight or something?"
"No ma'am, Canada's open 24/7."
2004-08-03 02:34:46 PM  
Much better, from the same site:

Bathroom used as jail to punish wife
2004-08-03 02:35:03 PM  
Aah, more examples of how dumb all us Americans really are. Gee, maybe Michael Moore was right!

2004-08-03 02:36:05 PM  
I'll tell you this much, he's a guy who always knows where his towel is.
Guess he'd close about the same time as the pub.
2004-08-03 02:36:07 PM  
Kenh Did a moose bite her? A Moose once bit my sister ...
2004-08-03 02:36:14 PM  
el hueso

my fiance lived in yosimite for a summer and got all the same questions> Her favorite was "When do they let the bears out?"
2004-08-03 02:37:47 PM  
Beautiful country. Nice people. Visit there if you get a chance.
2004-08-03 02:42:57 PM  
"where do the trolls live?"

2004-08-03 02:43:27 PM  
I'd like to visit Norway but I can't afjord it.....
2004-08-03 02:44:20 PM  
Chatting with a guy at the Halifax Westin, one of the better ones was from an American tourist asking where he can rent a car because he "wanted to take a day trip to Vancouver."
2004-08-03 02:46:38 PM  
Jeg can spiza feeta.
2004-08-03 02:47:08 PM  
Fjord is a funny word...
2004-08-03 02:47:52 PM  
The directors of the firm hired to
continue the credits after the other
people had been sacked, wish it to
be known that they have just been

The credits have been completed
in an entirely different style at great
expense and at the last minute.
2004-08-03 02:49:55 PM  
Once I was on a ferry to Rhodes (about a 6 hour trip) and a tourist was throwing a fit because no one told him that the whole trip would be on the water and he demanded that the trip shouldn't be that long because it didn't look that long on the map.
2004-08-03 02:50:45 PM  
I think they should just be happy anyone decides to go to Norway.

well anyone other then people who like to go and burninate churches and play the devils music.

/listening to Ensiferum
/yes I know they're not from Norway.
2004-08-03 02:51:05 PM  
"Cily Samuelsen, 31, and Marianne Hgsnes, 27, at the tourist information office in Bergen stated that the questions never seize to amaze them."

Seize to amaze? Maybe its not everyone else who is stupid...
2004-08-03 02:54:20 PM  
>I think there should be some sort of law that keeps stupid
>Americans from going overseas and validating the sterotypes
>most of the rest of the world has about us.

Couldn't have said it better myself. But what happens to the tourist industry when no Americans can go overseas?
2004-08-03 03:01:56 PM  
The women were rather flabbergasted when an American couple demanded their money back because they discovered that the midnight sun in Norway was the same as home in the States.

2004-08-03 03:02:31 PM  
I wonder how many people in Hawaii get asked by tourist how they can get to the isle of Komoniwanalaya.
2004-08-03 03:06:54 PM  
where do the trolls live?

That's easy: Usenet.
2004-08-03 03:10:53 PM  
Where is the Cumstains concert?

Why is alcohol so farking expensive?

Why do you people like marzipan so much?
2004-08-03 03:12:06 PM  
What time does Hanauma Bay close? 7pm on weekdays, 10pm Saturday. Closed every tuesday. It's a perfectly logical question.

I always tell people that they turn off the fish and drain the bay, but nobody believes me.
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