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(Washington Post)   Salt Lake Mayor getting drunk and hanging out with chicks in bikinis to prove he's not Mormon   ( divider line 65
    More: Strange  
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6616 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2002 at 12:10 PM (13 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-01-28 12:15:23 PM  
I hear the food is bad in Salt Lake City. Bland even.
2002-01-28 12:16:36 PM  
Sounds like some one is in need of a sex scandal. Maybe he should have Bill Clinton over for a weekend.
2002-01-28 12:17:22 PM  
and i dont care
2002-01-28 12:17:25 PM  
Maybe if had puked into a beer mug and then drank it, I'd believe him.
2002-01-28 12:17:40 PM  
2002-01-28 12:19:19 PM  
Make whoring and ect. legal. That should lift that boring image.
2002-01-28 12:19:42 PM  
Shouldn't that be a "Hero" tag?
2002-01-28 12:20:51 PM  
God I love Rocky!

Ouroborus: What do you think we do here? Subsist of a bland paste made from oats, barley and honey?

Truth be told we have some good restaurants here in Salt Lake City. If anyone's visiting I'll gladly tell you what's good in the underground.
2002-01-28 12:21:07 PM  

Scraping-fetus-off-the-wheel: that reminds me of this one time, in the Navy, my buddy and I picked these chicks up at a bar and they were sitting at our table when my pal (who was loaded by then) leaned over and tried to vomit into his glass to apparantly save some time. He tried to play it off but he was so drunk he had no idea he not only filled the glass and most of the table next to us that he turned back around with puke dripping off his face and pretended all was well. It was one of the funniest things I ever saw while at the same time the grossest.


2002-01-28 12:21:09 PM  
This is old news, he did this months ago.
2002-01-28 12:32:08 PM  
Kuta: That is quite an unfortunate looking bikini team.
2002-01-28 12:32:55 PM  
As I understand it, Mayor Rocky was born into the LDS faith, and renounced it at age 18 after, "considerable personal anguish". (Please see this week's New Yorker for more about Mormonism and Utah.)
2002-01-28 12:33:17 PM  
Rocky got into office and has proven himself to be a bit of a kook. Personally, I find him funny--his big issue last year was shopping cart theft. We do have good food, especially if you like mexican.

I have to admit, I've kinda felt like SLC is not going to see a population boom after the olympics--I think most people will hate the oppressive nature of the culture. Because I work for a national company, the mormon thing doesn't really affect me that much, but I have a lot of friends who get harrassed at work for being "gentiles." (As opposed to genitals.)
2002-01-28 12:33:36 PM  
Ive been proving my non-mormanity for years, using these same methods.
2002-01-28 12:33:54 PM  
Legalize prostitution!
2002-01-28 12:39:52 PM  
Show the world that the Latter-day Saints are a wholesome, vibrant, conservative but mainstream Christian religion, and not some weird cult of polygamists...

Mormons are NOT Christians, and they ARE a wierd cult of polygamists with weird underwear, beliefs in aliens and how, when you die, you can become a god of your own world, etc.
2002-01-28 12:40:26 PM  
the beer in salt lake city has a lower alcohol content then normal beer. I learned that from SLC punk. uh.. i wonder if it's true...?
2002-01-28 12:45:28 PM  
"Scraping-fetus-off-the-wheel: that reminds me of this one time..." band camp... :)
2002-01-28 12:46:49 PM  
This guy is great. Beer and Boobies! oh yeah and foosball too.

Gordon B. Hinckley, the church's 91-year-old president and "living prophet"

Wow! A true to life living profit! I wonder if he knows who's going to win the most medals?
2002-01-28 12:47:28 PM  
The best thing about SLC is the smell of that damn lake.
2002-01-28 12:47:43 PM  
I try to prove that I'm not a Mormon every chance I get...

...unfortunately I prove myself that I'm a drunk and womanizer.
2002-01-28 12:47:55 PM  
We do have good food, especially if you like mexican.

Yeah, when I'm thinking of good Mexican food, Salt Lake City just screams to mind... :)
2002-01-28 12:50:09 PM  
Meshman: nice pick up, I was asctually meaning to make it sound like that

2002-01-28 12:50:57 PM  
They believe the Garden of Eden was located in what is now
I know the Garden of Eden.
I've worked with the Garden of Eden.
Independence, Missouri you are no Garden of Eden.
2002-01-28 12:52:21 PM  
If he wants to prove he's not Mormon, couldn't the mayor just have a brain scan to prove he has one? However, it would be significantly smaller due to the "politician gene".
2002-01-28 12:52:54 PM  
SLC Punk

Great movie!
2002-01-28 01:05:28 PM  
Beer is lower alcohol content here 3.2% I believe. But you can buy regular Beer at the liquor stores.

Daz: Mormons believe in Christ (or so they say) isn't that all you need to be a Christian? Or are there now stipulations? Although it's a catagory that I can't understand why someone would want to belong to.

I wonder if he knows who's going to win the most medals? That's always been my question about the Mormon prophet. What have they prohpesized that's come true? Very very little. But they claim that's not what there phrophet is for. Then what use is he?
2002-01-28 01:08:06 PM  
i'm just wondering when the LDS/mormon bashing is going to officially start. c'mon!

I live in DC, and there is a HUGE disney-like castle for some mormons right beside the main highway. Anyone driving around the beltway just HAS to stare at this enormous eyesore.

Having never been hip to the mormon jive, what's up with their need to build these monstrocities, when the fact is their congregation probably only numbers in the tens or dozens?

any thoughts?
2002-01-28 01:14:48 PM  
Where's The....Coolest.....Mayor....Ever!!!!?
2002-01-28 01:14:58 PM  
i heard that the Mormon temple has the actual "Alf" costume incased in plexiglass.
2002-01-28 01:17:11 PM  
How do you use fact and probably together?
2002-01-28 01:18:26 PM  
Michael, that's the big problem with Christianity. All
the different groups have minor quibbles in the details
that are MAJOR to each. You can still go to hell according
to many even if you are baptized into the faith--because
you were (gasp) "sprinkled" instead of "immersed". Stuff
like that. There are *many* stipulations, and you will
find that the Christians on one street often think the
Christians on the other street will burn in eternal hellfire
because their stipulations differ slightly.
2002-01-28 01:28:11 PM  
man - I gotta start voting Democrat - they seem to be tackling all the important issues
2002-01-28 01:30:45 PM  
Some observation for the curious on Utah after 7+ years living here:

3.2 beer is sold in grocery stores, everything else is available in state liquor stores. The selection is not as good as, say, a grocery store in CA.

You can get a drink, but only one at a time. If you order a shot and a beer chaser the waitress stands there and waits for you to drink the shot before she'll put the beer down.

You don't have to pay a membership at every bar, but at quite a few. A lot of places have clever ways around the rules.

Polygamy is alive and well in Utah, contrary to what any official report might say. Near as I can tell it's mostly a cover for pedophiles.

As a transplant from CA I can honestly say that, while the Mexican food situation is improving, there's only one or two real Mexican restaurants. There are a lot of really good restaurants here. What usually suffers is the service.

Utah has the worst drivers I've ever seen. The average Utahn seems to be completely unaware of his/her surroundings. He/she will changes lanes without looking, sit at green lights, walk through a door and stop so no one else can get in, etc. Typical family will have 4-10 kids and they have little or no control over them.

The Mormon influence is apparent but not intrusive. I have never been bothered by missionaries knocking on the door. There are some people in my neighborhood that haven't talked to me since the first Sunday after I moved in and didn't show up at the Ward (church) but for the most part I get along with my neighbors (about half my neighborhood is Mormon) although I don't really socialize with them.

Strangely the Mormon influence is felt most at work where the majority of my co-workers are middle aged white male Mormons, which are coincidentally the exact type of Mormons I have the hardest time dealing with.

I had no idea we had a Bikini Team!
2002-01-28 01:33:23 PM  
JOseph Smith got hung by a lynch nob? AWESOME! Maybe lynch mobs aren't so dumb after all. Do MOrmans wear little necklaces with nooses on them instead of crosses?
2002-01-28 01:34:35 PM  
Crazyeddie-- They built one of those in San Diego too, right off the freeway. For a couple of weeks, they opened it to the public for tours, and after you had your shoes covered in little hospital booties, you went snaking through the whole thing in those winding, in and out line between velvet ropes. It was very hypnotizing. I was officially shushed several times for singing, very softly, "It's a small world, after all... it's a small world, after all."
It culminated with a 45 minute televised lecture in a small room walled in monitors, and they would NOT let you leave for any reason. I threatened to pee right there if they didn't let me out, and they just Stepford-smiled and gently nudged back into the flock. Very scary stuff.
2002-01-28 01:41:37 PM  
Michael: Fair question about prophets. Our prophet is probably what most people would consider an oracle. He tells us stuff that God wants us to hear, rather than playing gyspy fortune teller all the time. That doesn't tend to improve people. The biblical prophets (not to mention Mohammed, etc) were similar. It's just that you have thousands of years of history condensed into a single book so the "prophetic" statements really stand out.

Interestingly enough, a lot of stuff that our leaders are telling us is about being better people by respecting every one's beliefs. Grizzlyjohnson, you might want to take a copy of this article to work with you:,5232,23-1-225-14,00.html

Crazyeddie: There may not be that many Mormons in DC, but that temple serves the people in many states. There aren't that many of them on the east coast, so they make them bigger.

Daz: So, there's a threshold of "weird" that defines whether or not your Christian... oh nevermind.
2002-01-28 01:45:14 PM  
Macfrugal: Joseph Smith was shot in a firefight (he was shooting back) trying to *escape* from a lynchmob that came to the jail where he was incarcerated to hang him.

Crazyeddie: I'd bet there are upwards of 100,000 Mormons in the D.C. area that use that temple. They claim a membership of over five million in the US alone, and about 11 million worldwide.
2002-01-28 01:52:51 PM  
Clear: well if you're LDS and especially if you're in Utah, you know that the church's official positions on issues and the behavior of it's members are often two different things. Sometimes the church's official position is two different things :)
2002-01-28 01:54:37 PM  
They build those big monstrosities to show they are better than the catholics. Well, who isn't. Except, in reality the LDS'ers are about the same as catholics, they just have better teeth....As for SLC, the should have let the locusts have it.

Why can't I get the simple transposition of LDS....LSD outta my head...Oh yeah.
2002-01-28 02:13:12 PM  
Forget all this church talk.
I want to see some nekid pictures of those bikini team girls.
2002-01-28 02:43:34 PM  
Just to clarify things, I believe that Mormon's are not considered Christians by sociologists because they have a "significantly" different doctrine, and they believe that Joseph Smith was a second Messiah (where as to qualify as a christian you are still waiting for the second coming). Kind of the same reason why those who follow cults who believe that their leader is a messiah are not considered Christians.
2002-01-28 03:10:28 PM  
DJ55 I used 'fact' and 'probably' together because I didn't realize that there were crazy mormons on fark who would ignore the meaning of my post and attack the grammar.

Maybe newbie freaks from Arizona should keep their heads down for a while before blabbing.

why don't you go pray or something? Don't you have some eternal afterlife to get to?
2002-01-28 03:13:16 PM  
Every freaking day of my life, I prove that I'm not religious/mormon/catholic or whatever by doing several VERY ungodly things. I'm practically the antichrist.

Btw, are mormon sh!theads against technology the way those amish sh!theads are?
2002-01-28 03:16:34 PM  
ACK! 100,000 Mormons in the DC area? sweet jeebus they are EVERYWHERE!

*runs into nearest corner and hides*
2002-01-28 03:24:34 PM  
Hey Crazyeddie,
I am so happy to hear how much of an experienced farker you are, thats great. I would work on the anger management though. I am not mormon, you asked for thoughts, I gave them. Next time be specific on how long you would like people to have accessed before you would feel comfortable with taking feedback from them. I wasn't correcting your grammer. I was pointing out that you are a dumbass.
2002-01-28 03:25:32 PM  
First off - Mormons are Christians and our beliefs don't differ as much as you think. But I am not talking theology here... Nor will I via email... I'm talking about the DC Temple:

True Story regarding the LDS temple in Washington DC.
From many complaints due to traffic accidents related to drivers gawking at the awesome LDS Temple in DC, municipal management ordered the lights on the temple to be shut off at night. (seriously, there is an overpass frames the temple in one section of the beltway and on it reads Welcome to OZ - then as you pass under it the temple looms up and it is just freaking cool looking - this is where the accidents happen. People just stare at it and ignore the guy slowing down in front of them.)
The lights went out on the outside of the temple. And were off for about a week - and came back on due to the massive outcry.
The outcry came not from residents of the area, or Mormons or any other theologic source. It came from the Aviation community. You see, the DC Temple is the largest, brightest lit object in the region. You can see it from very very far way from the air and even in bad weather. Since the temple was first built, it became a NAVIGATION BEACON to aviators flying through the Washington DC area. Aviation that is Civil, Commercial, and Military (Fixed and Rotor) take vectors from the airspace directly over the Temple. Standing outside the temple at night you can look up and watch the aircraft fly over and then change direction from that point. Its amazing. I've flown myself, and have been in the cockpit when air traffic controllers ordered the direction change to the new vector from that point. Anyways, with the lights off, the pilots didn't know where the hell they needed to go and this caused MASSIVE amounts of confusion and problems for all aviation in the region.
The lights went back on.
Rubberneckers still have fender benders.
Seriously, if your ever in the DC area, check it out. It is awesome. If your not LDS, you can go to the temple's visitor center and do a walk around the temple. It's worth seeing.

And Alf is actually incased in glass and the University of Utah.
2002-01-28 03:25:43 PM  
I believe I'll have another beer
2002-01-28 03:33:58 PM  
Grizzly: You're right, and I think there's at least some sensitivity to the fact that that needs to change. You might be amused to know that most Mormons living outside of Utah think Utah exists to give us a bad name. Okay, most of my LDS friends, anyways.

Omerta_bk: Smith was no Messiah, he was simply a prophet like Moses or John the Baptist. I don't think you'll find a single member who thinks Joseph Smith was some sort of saviour.

MotherFarker: No man, we dig tech. I understand that the dude that invented the CRT was Mormon, so you can thank us for your scrambled pr0n (but don't quote me on that).

I caught one of our leaders playing games on his pocket pc in a meeting last week. I wanted a turn.
2002-01-28 03:37:48 PM  
oh, DJ55 you are too funny. Do you feel better now?

I'd believe it about the mormon temple in DC, Mad Ogre. Not only is it ridiculously big, but it is surrounded by trees, making it stand out even more to motorists/aviators.
2002-01-28 03:41:09 PM  
sorry eddie, what was that, I was busy praying.
2002-01-28 03:42:25 PM  
Mad Ogre: You're not talking religion here except to say what you said, eh? Then you'll forgive me for similarly not talking religion and pointing out that Mormon beliefs are SIGNIFICANTLY different from ANY other religion, and ESPECIALLY other christian religions. Christian is a term that seems to be only defined in a circular fashion, i.e. we're christians because we're like us and everyone that's not like us isn't christian, so I'll leave that debate alone. Maybe it's the fact that you don't know much about other christian religions, but Mormonism is unique in many ways, not the least of which is pre-existance of the soul, the three kingdoms, baptism for the dead, bizarre secret temple rights, temple garments, Adam-god, the whole North American/Middle East connection mythology, mark of Cain, and so on ad infinitum, not to even get into the whole questionable origins of the church. Technically Mormonism is polytheistic, how does that grab you? In fact, it bears resemblance to other christian religions only in the words that are used to describe it, but not in the meanings and semantics behind them, which are carefully crafted by church leadership.

Now all you mormons out there, don't get pissy with me, I'm not bashing you. I have a great deal of respect for the LDS Church as a social organization, and I'm not saying Mormonism isn't a valid religion. But it bears almost no resemblance to mainstream Christianity at all. Hell, maybe that's a good thing, who knows.

Huracan: toss me one, man!
2002-01-28 03:45:12 PM  
Norman the Mormon, Sung to the tune of Bad to the Bone

I ride my bike
It's a mean machine
I get a sore ass
But god is my vaseline
2002-01-28 03:46:55 PM  
Clear: heheheheh, I've heard that. I've also heard Utahns who move to other parts of the country expressing surprise and concern that it's not like Utah out there in the big wide world. One girl says, "you know, we're not the majority anywhere else, we kinda have to keep a lower profile."
2002-01-28 03:50:53 PM  
'They believe the Garden of Eden was located in what is now
I know the Garden of Eden.
I've worked with the Garden of Eden.
Independence, Missouri you are no Garden of Eden.'

Jackass... they say Independence, MO is the LAND OF MILK AND HONEY.

Although, my hometown may be lacking in milk and honey now, due to the recession.

2002-01-28 04:36:27 PM  
Chris·tian (noun) - One who professes belief in Jesus as Christ or follows the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.

I beleive the Book of Mormon is professed to be further teachings of Christ beyond what is in the Catholic Bible. I suppose if you beleive that then you would not have a problem calling Mormons Christians. On the other hand if you beleive that the Book of Mormon was made up by some crazy person trying to start his own religion for whatever reasons you might object strongly to Mormons calling themselves Christians
2002-01-28 04:59:48 PM  
I find it amusing that all you so called enlightened free thinkers find it soo easy to be so vicious and unruly to a subject that you know little to NOTHING about. I bet half of you bastards wouldnt know a Book of Mormon if it bit you on the ass.

Bring it on bastards here is one Mormon not afraid to "fark you till you love me!!!!"
2002-01-28 05:02:08 PM  
Oh yeah,

I am not defending Utards... they are on thier own, I am the self proclaimed champion of "Mission-Field" Members of

The CHurch of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!
2002-01-28 05:41:11 PM  
Bring what on, Famous? You want to debate the validity of mormonism or are you just looking for volunteers to stand up and be called names?
2002-01-28 05:57:38 PM  
Weren't Mormons behind WordPerfect and several other
successful softwares? And there is science fiction writer
Orson Scott Card, a very talented Mormon.
2002-01-28 06:12:40 PM  
can't we all just get along and bash Scientology?
2002-01-28 06:18:18 PM  
Hehehehe, or "real" christians, like Chick?
2002-01-28 07:50:13 PM  
Damn.... I thought i would get flamed hard core.... I've seen way too many baseless, unwarranted, ill thought out comments here and figured i would try and fit in.

Grizzly: I find it interesting that people fight SOOOO hard against The Church. If they just didnt believe in it where does all this animosity come from? If i didnt believe in God i would just let the believers go about thier business. Hell i let agnistics be everyday, i dont get in thier face claiming thier belief structure, or lack thereof as stupid, or evil. Its thier life. So why can't that same respect be showed to Believers in Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, Allah, Buddah, who ever... Live and let live...

I know the underlying feel of this post is quite different from my opening, i posted in anger before.

I look forward to an ongoing debate as, i have noticed that My religion gets bashed every couple days...
2002-01-28 08:02:19 PM  
Famous: I have to agree with you as far as tolerance is concerned, I say if someone wants to believe a certain way, let them. I actually find Mormons, even here in Mormon central, to be far less obnoxious about differing beliefs than your average born-again christian or the New Age types. My policy is basically to live and let live until someone gets in my face and tells me I'm wrong. Then, they better be ready to explain why.

Mormons are a target for ridicule becase a) people don't understand them, and b) some of their more quirky tendancies have become the stuff of urban legend. As far as those kinds of insults are concerned, you should consider their source in ignorance and fear of the unknown, in the same way a homophobe calls people gay whether they are or not if they threaten him. I see a lot more gay-bashing and Chick-bashing (as in the Tracts :) here than Mormon bashing, but the whole world is going to be looking into the crucible of Mormon essence, Salt Lake City, for three weeks next month, so I'm sure it will become a popular topic.

I'm just hoping and praying that my fellow Utahns don't totally embarass us :)
2002-01-28 08:06:57 PM  
You mean like arresting a lady gardening in a swimsuit?
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