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(   Saddam has been writing poetry in jail. Help him out with some limericks and haikus   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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7348 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2004 at 6:33 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

264 Comments     (+0 »)
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2004-07-26 01:19:51 PM  
That damn infidel
Whose muffins I now enjoy
Took Iraq from me
2004-07-26 01:24:28 PM  
There once was a man named Hussein,
Who is said to've caused lots of pain.
He did things that were bad,
And that made people sad.
But I guess I've no cause to complain.
2004-07-26 01:28:39 PM  
There once was a man named Saddam,
Who the POTUS was trying to bomb.
But he got out alive,
And by quarter to five,
He was living back home with his mom.
2004-07-26 01:29:54 PM  
tin-pot dictator?
no, flower pot dictator
somewhere in iraq
2004-07-26 01:30:58 PM  
god that was terible
2004-07-26 01:32:34 PM  
There once was a country, Iraq.
And it's state? Just like shiat in a sack.
And the land, it was raped
By Saddam, who escaped,
So I bet they're now glad that he's back.
2004-07-26 01:38:14 PM  
We once had a president Bush
Whose cerebrum consisted of mush.
So he bombed some poor guy,
And he told us a lie
That we had to, 'cause shove came to push.
2004-07-26 01:38:37 PM  
/rhyme nazi

Just so you know, Iraq doesn't rhyme with "sack". It rhymes with "sock, block, knock, crock, hock, rock, etc".

/rhyme nazi
2004-07-26 01:39:20 PM  
Hickory Dickory Dock,
Uday was suckin' his dad's C!ck...

The smart-bombs over Saddam's head they flew,
Sadly, they only killed two...

So it'll now be
Watching Saddam's trial on court-tv!

/bows and moves back into the shadows of TF lurkdom realizing that I have NO potential to be a poet-slam extrordinaire...
2004-07-26 01:45:07 PM  
2004-07-26 01:48:52 PM  
Saddam needs to die
Die die die die die die ide
Sick motherfarker
2004-07-26 01:55:41 PM  
Methinks silverpig has some anger issues...

/government sponsored murder is still murder
2004-07-26 01:56:43 PM  
there once was a boy named george
whose service records were forged
so to hide his shame
and live up to his name
he started this ridiculous war
2004-07-26 02:00:38 PM  
If that dictionary page says that Iraq is pronounced "eye-rack" ... it's incorrect. It's pronounced "Ear-Rock". (From my middle eastern friends, including one who fought against Iraqis in the Iran-Iraq war).
2004-07-26 02:47:43 PM  
Old man, coward, biatch
hides in hole like pile of shiat.
hope he gets ass-raped.


did you hear that plane?
I thought I heard a bomb drop!
Where are my two sons?


There once was a man from Ear-Rock
who was born without a cock
to compensate, he'd murder and rape
until the US cleaned out his clock


Bush is a clown, it is true
but the one great thing that he do
Is to team with the Brits, an' kickin the shiat
outta Saddam and his biatchy sons too
2004-07-26 02:52:47 PM  
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I love Skylar

(took him 12 years)
2004-07-26 03:11:31 PM  
There once was a man from Iraq
Who the president tried to attack.
Oh, the missiles, they failed,
But the guy is now jailed,
So he'd better weld shut his butt crack.

Okay, that's enough for me...
2004-07-26 03:32:48 PM  
My weapons of mass
destruction are located
only in your minds.

It was my evil
plan to fool you all into
coming over here.

Now that you are here,
please feel free to fix the land
that I have destroyed.

While in the meantime,
I'll be safe and sound in this
beautiful prison.
2004-07-26 03:32:52 PM  
I lied, here's another one.

There once was a man named Osama,
Who was spawned from the womb of a llama.
And when writing a list,
Man, that guy's got me pissed,
'Cause he always forgets that last comma.
2004-07-26 03:36:36 PM  
Error 404
Weapons of Mass Destruction
Not found in Iraq

/got nothin
2004-07-26 03:53:32 PM  
A gorgeous young stripper at Ruby's
Made a fortune by flashing her boobies.
And Saddam's younger sister
Jumped on stage and kissed her,
But, damn it, I can't think of any good way to end this poem, so I'll leave it up to you newbies.
2004-07-26 04:01:02 PM  
There once was a man named John Kerry
Who picked up this hitchhiker, Larry.
They ran over a goat
And crashed into a moat,
But their luggage was too big to carry.

Okay, I think I'm running out of ideas... be back after lunch.
2004-07-26 05:17:26 PM  
dear mister saddam,
from the people of iraq,
please die painfully.
2004-07-26 05:21:36 PM  
The story of a man named Saddam
He put Sarin gas in his bomb
Killing all of those Kurds
Was easier than dealing with words
He'll stand trial with a little aplomb.
2004-07-26 05:27:00 PM  
there once was a guy named al-sahaf
whose words were really quite a laugh
he threatened and fumed
and called us all doomed
and cursed us on allah's behalf

[image from too old to be available]
2004-07-26 05:31:52 PM  
there was a country called iraq
until by bush it got jacked
and he said "like me,
you now are free
even though I bombed your shack."
2004-07-26 05:35:46 PM  
saddam was evil
was bush all that much better?
world's not black and white.
2004-07-26 06:39:26 PM  
The rats bite my feet
Still I am the President
Iraq still loves me
2004-07-26 06:39:40 PM  
he tends his garden with an iron fist.
2004-07-26 06:40:06 PM  
Roses are gassed
Violets go boom
I was a dictator
now stuck in a room.
2004-07-26 06:41:04 PM  
Bush thinks he's so great
But he'll sing another song
Come this time next year
2004-07-26 06:41:28 PM  
Hussein's breath be stank
old people be passin out
Dyin from that junk
2004-07-26 06:43:03 PM  
Yes YoUUUU... shook me ALL NIGHT LONG ... Oh
U.S.A.... shook me ALL NIghht Long (knocked me out [of power])
I said you shook me ALL NIGHT LONG ...
yeah you shook me
then you booked me
but what really pissed me off is when you shaved my beard
;) - (insert look of "...uh... what?" here :) )
2004-07-26 06:44:09 PM  
There once was a man from Tikrit
whose brutality was quite indiscreet.
Said Saddam to the Mole
as he cowered in his hole,
"For a tyrant, my manner's effete!"

/poet I ain't.
2004-07-26 06:44:25 PM  
When I lived in my spider hole,
I waited to take back control.
When my hiders deserted me
U.S. Soldiers , they heard me.
Now I have a gaping cornhole.
2004-07-26 06:44:52 PM  
are you threatening me?
tp for my bung*ole
pass me more sugar Ali
2004-07-26 06:45:28 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

There is no poetry here! The infidel poets will roast in the embers of Hell!
2004-07-26 06:46:26 PM  
prison is sad'ning
saddam feels demoralised
listens to emo!
2004-07-26 06:46:43 PM  
he was a handsome man
and what i want to know is
how do you like your brown-eyed boy
Mister Death

/apologies to e. e. cummings
2004-07-26 06:46:56 PM  
In my spider hole
All was not springtime freshness
Don't eat that again
2004-07-26 06:47:14 PM  
There once was a milksop named Kerry
Whose tastes were expensive (how Very).
The mullahs and bombers
And socialite glommers
The Democrats still make quite merry.
2004-07-26 06:48:00 PM  
Bush drops many bombs
where's Osama Bin Laden
Arlington is full
2004-07-26 06:48:11 PM  
There once was a man from Iraq
Kuwait he attempted to jack
Bush Senior said, "No,"
But let his ass go
So Junior could kick his nutsack.
2004-07-26 06:48:27 PM  
a pain in the ass
"chronic prostate infection"
who gives him the meds?
2004-07-26 06:49:14 PM  
There once was a jag from Iraq,
Who asked France to give him a kickback.
Those frogs complied,
But soon, he died.
2004-07-26 06:49:21 PM  
saddam was evil
was bush all that much better?
world's not black and white.

Kill_Em_All, that might just be the greatest haiku ever written.
2004-07-26 06:49:29 PM  
Saddam Hussein there
Standing up in the courtroom
Looks very "Queer Eye"
2004-07-26 06:49:33 PM  
There once was a man called Bin Laden
Whom it seems has been almost forgotten
Iraq tried to play nice
But Bush used loaded dice
And the whole situation smells rotten
2004-07-26 06:50:12 PM  
There once was a man from Iraq
Inspector said show me some tact
Saddam threw him out
UN rules he did flout
No weapons were found; this is whack.

/not a poet
2004-07-26 06:50:48 PM  
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