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(USA Today)   Perverted Airport security can see through your clothes in Orlando.   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

15351 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2002 at 12:04 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

51 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-01-25 12:07:24 PM  

Purchase ticket to Orlando and bring Security Resume...
2002-01-25 12:09:38 PM  
The walkthrough hazardous materials detector uses a vacuum to suck up the air and analyze it for traces of explosives and other hazardous materials.
2002-01-25 12:12:06 PM  
So now they can peek in Mickey's little red pants and see it's really Minnie after all... get it? Minnie Mouse... Mini... small...
oh geez I need coffee real bad.
2002-01-25 12:12:49 PM  
Combine this with the X-10 wireless videocam and they'd really have something that'd sell.
2002-01-25 12:14:12 PM  
Holy cripes...

I can't believe my friendly local airport would do such a thing. As if all the tourist traps in this damn town weren't enough. Fark Orlando man.
2002-01-25 12:17:14 PM  
Hmmmm...I haven't had a good sniffing in a long time.
2002-01-25 12:18:43 PM  
Good if everyone that walks through the airport is attractive, but holy shiat. Think of seeing the old people. This new x-ray could significantly raise suicide rates in Orlando.
2002-01-25 12:23:16 PM  
Where are the photos! I demand proof!
2002-01-25 12:24:58 PM  
When you go to the hospital for x-rays, they put lead protection over your junk. This would make me just a bit nervous about going to Orlando. I like my junk.
2002-01-25 12:26:36 PM  
I fly out of Orlando next month to New York.
Oh joy, oh happy day!
I think I wont shower for a week or so, let
them sniff that!
2002-01-25 12:27:14 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-25 12:29:23 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-25 12:30:41 PM  
Thank god. Maybe they could get a device that sucks all the stench off of the tourists. Now that would be worth the price of admission.

Now if we can only keep the Magic....
2002-01-25 12:42:53 PM  
I was a travelling consultant for 4 years, and had to fly in and out of OIC at least once a week. I can't tell you how happy that gig is over - especially since it sounds like it will be alot harder to pack my "herbal remedy" for those demanding business trips.
2002-01-25 12:47:20 PM  
Someone had better let Dogbone know about this...

I would hate to see the airport staff laughing hysterically on the floor cause of the size of his weener...

2002-01-25 12:53:47 PM  
Unless they work like the X-ray machines in Airplane, where they only show boobies.
2002-01-25 12:56:20 PM  
Make that "OIA" -- too much herbal remedy, perhaps?
2002-01-25 12:56:55 PM  
Holy shiat! They can see through my clothes all the way from Orlando! Thats like 1300 miles from me!
2002-01-25 01:01:27 PM  
"Passengers and their bags will be scanned, sniffed and otherwise scrutinized at Orlando International Airport, in a test of emerging security devices meant to stop airplane attacks."

They say that like it's a bad thing. I like having my bag sniffed and scrutinized.
2002-01-25 01:07:37 PM  
Hmmm, I guess I'll have to wear my extra-special frilly boxers! It's a special occasion, and I weant to make a good impression!
2002-01-25 01:21:46 PM  
They had this technology in the seventies.
Didn't anyone see Airplane!?
2002-01-25 01:25:58 PM  
What's so contraversial about this technology? Cardboard and plastic versions of this have been sold in comic book ads for the last 60 years.
2002-01-25 01:28:53 PM  
Aww crap, now that I look back throu the posts, somebody already beat me to my witty and original reference. Bollocks.
2002-01-25 01:31:22 PM  
Dyschordant : You might like your junk. And if your junk got the x - ray your junk would still work. but your spunk would have not effect. So, maybe this is like a free vasectomie (sp?) for us young folks who the MS will not splice open.
2002-01-25 01:49:18 PM  
"The walkthrough hazardous materials detector uses a vacuum to suck ... The body scanner that penetrates clothing."

Honey, fark Space Mountain, I wanna go on the airplane ride again!
2002-01-25 02:06:00 PM  
Diogenes, I'm just nitpicking, but the ICAO code for Orlando is "MCO"

2002-01-25 02:18:18 PM  
I believe Heathrow,(London),have been experimenting with this for over 6 months now,(remember seeing it on local news),... and I still haven't got around to applying for a job yet !
2002-01-25 02:29:06 PM  
The more I see, the more I'm convinced the world is turning into a cheesy, cliche'd scifi movie.

[image from too old to be available]
(thank God for DVD screen caps!)

I just hope those movies are right, and all women in the future are as hot as Jessica Alba.
2002-01-25 02:30:52 PM  
Airlines whose passengers will be asked to volunteer for scanning include Delta, Virgin Atlantic, Swissair and British Airways.

So, lets say a terrorist gets asked if he wants to volunteer to be x-rayed with some new scanning device. Uh, yeah. This new system sounds pretty fool-proof!
2002-01-25 02:35:56 PM  
"We're trying to see how best to deploy these devices nationwide," said John Whittenburg, executive vice president of the Alliance, a nonprofit testing group funded by the federal government.

Oh I've got a few ideas on how to deploy these devices....

... if you know what I mean! HAR HAR HAR
2002-01-25 02:40:51 PM  
Will I be exempted from examination by these devices if I'm 'electrically sensitive' like the guy from Mendocino?
2002-01-25 02:47:17 PM  
3horn: Trust me - I've been in and out of that place enough times to know that. Us local yokels refer to it as OIA. That's the acronym they use on the local news stations.
2002-01-25 03:11:15 PM  
I wonder who manufactures these test machines... (stock tip alert is going off)
2002-01-25 03:13:21 PM  
Vexhex: Woohoo! I'm goin to Florida!
2002-01-25 03:13:54 PM  
. . .and a three-dimensional X-ray bag scanner.

There's SO many things wrong with that sentence . . . besides, who would want a 3-D scan of their bag?!
2002-01-25 03:28:34 PM  
at the detroit autoshow cadillac showed off their nightvision - it was showing passer-byers on a screen. Nice, you could see bras and panties w/o a problem - depending on how hot the person was. crazy
2002-01-25 03:50:23 PM  
"Oh, no, officer. That's where I always pack my kiwi fruit..."
2002-01-25 03:58:16 PM  
Now all they need is an inflatable emergency pilot incase they die from bad fish.
2002-01-25 04:04:06 PM  
Hah... old news... macintosh has had the technology for years...
(sort of nsfw - page ok but referral page not)
2002-01-25 04:28:19 PM  
LMAO !!! JEWELS you are sooo bad ....

"The body scanner, expected to be the most controversial of the five, subjects a passenger to low-level X-rays that penetrate clothing."

hmmm... me wondering if this will be available in a hand held model soon.... I'd LOVEEEE ta have one !!
2002-01-25 04:55:57 PM  
jewel; funny, your gonna get him started again like that.
2002-01-25 05:03:58 PM  
"Why is everyone laughing? They got the AC turned up so high in here...IT'S SHRINKAGE I TELLYA!"
2002-01-25 05:07:12 PM  
Eschewing Gum: Thank Cecilia for me too.
2002-01-25 05:28:06 PM  
Actually... I feel more sympathy for the X-Ray screener than anything... have you actually looked around at an airport lately? Not everyone is of the quality that we would expect from a boobies link...
2002-01-25 05:39:56 PM  
So that's why I always hear a retching sound when I go through security there...


Them lucky farkers musta got their hands on a shipment of those unaltered Handycams!
2002-01-25 07:52:44 PM  
More cancer for everyone... and you KNOW girlsgonewild or whatever will get their hands on the scans..
2002-01-25 09:02:48 PM  
Time for another foil wrapped zucchini!
2002-01-25 09:15:18 PM  
I know and I would not normally do that but I am just sick of going into threads to find that he has left a smart comment before I have even posted...

Looks like he don't read all the threads though cause he would have had something to say by now if he had been here.

if you check out the subway thread you will see what I mean ;)
2002-01-25 09:20:31 PM  
Now sounds like a good time to share my own airport story. I was in the Baltimore Washington Airport, and the newly sensitive metal detectors picked up the underwire in my bra. I was wearing a moderatly see through and clingly white shirt and the hand held scanners clearly were showing that it was my bra that was metalic, but the security maniacs, one woman and one man, insisted on detaining me and inspecting. By this I mean they analyzed my breasts to determine if I was a potential danger. They were kind of old, but come on, underwire has been around for a long long time now. After a couple minutes of awkward statring, they told me that I would have to take off my bra. I refused because, after all, my shirt is already see through, I am a bit insecure about my large breasts, and, for heavens sake, there were about 300 people around! I eventually escaped the clutches of these pyschopaths by grabbing the woman's hand and placing it on the underwire so that she would finally agree that my bra was not a weapon. (I still feel violated.) The moral: ladies, wear a sports bra when you go to the airport; men, be glad you don't have boobs.
2002-01-25 09:58:06 PM  
Uh . . Becky . . your story gave me a chubby.

I just thought I'd share that with you.
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