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(Yahoo)   The Official Church of Spongebob Squarepants   ( divider line
    More: Cool, SpongebobSquarepants, churches, sacraments  
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21383 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2004 at 1:13 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

128 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

2004-07-21 10:21:07 AM  
Wouldn't it be cool if this article was, like, greenlit at 4:20.

Oh man that would be awesome. Where's my cheetohs?
2004-07-21 10:23:07 AM  
I suppose instead of a Holy Tabernacle they have a Holy Pineapple?
2004-07-21 10:26:34 AM  
The 700-strong membership have taken an official conversion sacrament to pledge their loyalty to the church.
There is also an intense study course for the church based on the Spongebob scriptures.

"And lo, the mighty Spongebob Squarepants (may he reign forever) saith unto his followers:
'She seems mysterious so I'll call her Mystery. She also seems graceful and majestic, so I'll call her Grace, or Majesty, or Debbie.'
Therefore, as thy priest, I declare that all of thy women shall be named Debbie. Or Majesty. Or Mystery. Or Grace. Amen."
2004-07-21 10:29:36 AM  
Pastor: Are you ready kids?
Congregation: Aye aye captain!
P: I can't hear you!
C: Aye aye captain!
P: Ooooooooooh....
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
C: Spongebob Squarepants!
P: Absorbant and yellow and pourous is he!
C: Spongebob Squarepants!
P: If nautical nonsense be something you wish,
C: Spongebob Squarepants!
P: Then drop on the deck and flub like a fish!
C: Spongebob Squarepants!
All: Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants,
Spongebob Squarepants,
Spongebob Squarepants!
2004-07-21 10:34:10 AM  
I'll never sway from my devotion to the Church of LilyConner.

Repent sinners!
2004-07-21 10:36:26 AM  
Waitaminnit. Mr Krabs is the Kurgan?

Wow. You learn something new every day...
2004-07-21 10:48:54 AM  
le sigh. me no like spongebob.

now, invader zim, THERE is a cartoon.

whatever happened to the days of ren and stimpy and animaniacs? le sigh.
2004-07-21 11:07:35 AM  
Isn't this a repeat? Old but not busted?

/dazed & confused
2004-07-21 12:04:43 PM  
yes, it's a repeat. but Spongebob is worth it.
2004-07-21 01:16:10 PM  
i thought that said "The Official Church response to Spongebob Squarepants" and thought the article would be about the pope saying sponges are the spawn of satan.
2004-07-21 01:17:52 PM  
well I hope the people jessie loves get shot at on a daily basis too.
2004-07-21 01:18:22 PM  
I for one welcome our sponge bob worshipping overlords ... take me to the bottom of the sea
2004-07-21 01:19:10 PM  
Oh, I have GOT to become ordained.
2004-07-21 01:19:31 PM [image from too old to be available].

More like [image from too old to be available] or [image from too old to be available]
2004-07-21 01:20:23 PM  
The church's manifesto says it promotes "simple things like having fun and using your imagination".

Shouldn't that be "imaginaaaaaaaaaaaaation"?
2004-07-21 01:21:03 PM  
Patrick Rocks!!!
2004-07-21 01:22:12 PM  
Cool! Mr. Crabs voice is done by the Kurgon from the Highlander Movie.

There can be only one.....spongebob that is.
2004-07-21 01:22:48 PM Mr. Krabs
2004-07-21 01:22:52 PM  
Pope Patrick?
2004-07-21 01:23:17 PM  
"The cartoon is designed for children under four but has already won star fans like Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Kelly Osbourne and Mike Myers. "

2004-07-21 01:23:48 PM  
I'm looking forward to reading about the "Squarepants" priests being arrested with thousands of images of Sandy Cheeks porn on their computers.
2004-07-21 01:24:03 PM  
News flash: Spongebob still sucks.
2004-07-21 01:24:31 PM  
There is no way the target for this show is children under 4. No way at all...
2004-07-21 01:25:00 PM  
I didn't realize that... so Spongebob is really from the altered state of drugachusetts?
2004-07-21 01:25:00 PM  
I am embarrassed to be human.
2004-07-21 01:25:24 PM  
Mr Krabs whips out his sword and beheads Spongebob!

'There can only be one!!!'

/Highlander foe is voice of Spongebob's crabby employer..gotta love TV
2004-07-21 01:26:18 PM  
I love Mr. Crabs...

/"Boy, I can think of 5 good reasons never to let go of a dime."
2004-07-21 01:27:14 PM  
I haven't seen many of these "new age" cartoons, but the Spongebob crowd is fanatical. I watched a few episodes with my little brother, one of which was "Opposite Day."
When SB tells his pet snail (who meows) to get in the spirit of opposite day, and he barks. I rolled. I can only imagine to be a kid and getting to enjoy this show, rather than to be 20 and scoff at it (for the most part). :p
2004-07-21 01:28:03 PM  
"Oooo, hey, this movie is turnin' into Sponge Bob No Pants!"
(Ned Flanders while dating Sara Sloan)
2004-07-21 01:28:08 PM  
Spongebob and the sex couch. Guess they're taking the church's manifesto to heart.
2004-07-21 01:28:19 PM  
Did anyone else see the link on the right about the "sex couch?"
2004-07-21 01:29:05 PM  
2004-07-21 01:29:07 PM  
I had no idea Clany Brown is Mr.Krabs, and I'm a huge fan of both him and the show. I'd join their cult but judging by this, I wouldn't pass the test.
2004-07-21 01:30:51 PM  
I'M READY! join the Church of SpongeBob.
2004-07-21 01:33:28 PM  
Spongebob Church?

Ass meet hats, hats meet ass.

That is all.
2004-07-21 01:35:37 PM  

"Boy, I can think of 5 good reasons never to let go of a dime."

It was 10 reason. Saw that show yesterday.
2004-07-21 01:36:48 PM  
I will not stray from the First Church of Shatnerology. The power of the toupee compels you!
2004-07-21 01:36:55 PM  
Pastor: Are you ready kids?
Congregation: Aye aye pastor!
P: I can't hear you!
C: Aye aye pastor!
P: Ooooooooooh....
Who lived in a pineapple, and died nailed to a tree?
C: Spongebob Christpants!
P: Absorbant and yellow and pious is he!
C: Spongebob Christpants!
P: If homosexual nonsense be something you wish,
C: Spongebob Christpants!
P: Then drop to your knees and suck like a priest!
C: Spongebob Christpants!
All: Spongebob Christpants, Spongebob Christpants,
Spongebob Christpants,
Spongebob Christpants s!
2004-07-21 01:36:58 PM  
2004-07-21 01:37:08 PM  
On a less cool note, Dauber from "Coach" (as well as Tom Cullen from "The Stand") is Patrick.

Still, nothing can top the episode with Pantera.
2004-07-21 01:37:24 PM  
Spongebob, etc. are cool for like 3 or 4 episodes. If you can handle any more than that (total, not just in a row), you've got the IQ of a sponge.
2004-07-21 01:40:25 PM  
Where do I sign up?

/lives in a home with a talking Spongebob cookie jar
2004-07-21 01:40:42 PM  
Attack by christian religious fundies in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
2004-07-21 01:41:00 PM  

or you're stoned...

/i worship him every sunday morning, my bong and i
2004-07-21 01:41:52 PM  
Personally, I base my life on the teachings of Ren Hoek
2004-07-21 01:42:24 PM  
Yet another church with an imaginary figurehead. Should fit in well with the rest of them...

/looking for matches
2004-07-21 01:43:00 PM  
This church is spongeworthy!
2004-07-21 01:43:15 PM  
got nuthin on IM Weasel
2004-07-21 01:43:33 PM  
I wonder if the communion wafers are made of seaweed?
2004-07-21 01:43:40 PM  
The cartoon is designed for children under four but has already won star fans like Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Kelly Osbourne and Mike Myers.

WTF? I've never seen the show, and I sure as hell don't want to become a fan if it means I have something in common with those idiots, Mike Myers excluded.
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