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(Yahoo)   Michael Jackson's freaky sperm strikes again, to be father of quadruplets   (story.news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Scary  
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36579 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jul 2004 at 2:27 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



254 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2004-07-20 03:33:40 PM  
i guess the oddest part about the whole thing is how they went about obtaining a sperm sample from Michael jackson

all they had to do is scrape off Macauley Culkins chin


/not very proud of myself
 
2004-07-20 03:34:21 PM  
the four horsemen of the apocolypes will be born!

/can't spell
 
2004-07-20 03:35:17 PM  
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2004-07-20 03:36:36 PM  
I say we take off and nuke the entire site from space. It's the only way to be sure...
 
2004-07-20 03:40:15 PM  
What's Michael Jackson's favorite TV show?

Kids in the Hall.

/not-ting
 
2004-07-20 03:40:25 PM  
The freakiest part about MJ's sperm is that it somehow manages to create white babies with blond hair...even if the surrogate mother is supposedly black.

Apparently his sperm defies all laws of genetics.
 
2004-07-20 03:40:29 PM  
if a sandy berger thread doesn't get greenlighted we'll never hear the end of it.
 
2004-07-20 03:42:35 PM  
Why am I not surprised he went with artificial insemination? The whole fact that he obviously wont touch a woman (or a grown man, that'd be fine too) in a sexual way kinda makes it hard to deny the paedophelia allegations. I mean, process of elimination alone is pretty strong indicator.

I think the sad fact is that the guy really is completely out of his gourd. I wouldn't be surprised if he had no idea that there was anything wrong with bangin' kids. He probably thinks he's an inexplicably horny gay 10-year-old trapped in a 50 year old body.

Throw the man into the psych ward until he can have a sexual thought about something older than 13. I'd say toss him in prison afterwards, but somehow I don't think he'd do well there.
 
2004-07-20 03:43:42 PM  
Why, god, do they let this guy breed?
 
2004-07-20 03:46:11 PM  
It makes me sick that people are so worried about Michael Jackson procreating, but are not worried that we are bieng over run with Mexicans! No Habla Engles Motherfarkers!
 
2004-07-20 03:46:43 PM  
When Nic Cage announced he was marrying Lisa Marie Presley, my first thought was "Who would willingly stick their pecker anywhere Michael Jackson's has been?"
 
2004-07-20 03:46:54 PM  
See!
Everyone's wrong!

He didn't molest those kids... He has his own sex pack..

/hangs head in shame
 
2004-07-20 03:48:19 PM  
Victory is mine!

/4 little stewies
 
2004-07-20 03:48:44 PM  
ILL!!!
 
2004-07-20 03:50:04 PM  
Rosencrantz

The freakiest part about MJ's sperm is that it somehow manages to create white babies with blond hair...even if the surrogate mother is supposedly black.

Apparently his sperm defies all laws of genetics.


I think he is recreating himself white through his progeny. I have no idea why, don't wanna know, but there it is. And who in fark are these females bearing these offspring for him?

Unless they don't know they are his.
 
2004-07-20 03:50:48 PM  
you made me spew timbits all over my work computer. damn you! you owe me a new pc!
 
2004-07-20 03:51:17 PM  
There is no Darwin.....
 
2004-07-20 03:51:48 PM  
Pcubensis

It makes me sick that people are so worried about Michael Jackson procreating, but are not worried that we are bieng over run with Mexicans! No Habla Engles Motherfarkers!


Because our priorities are closer to Agent Kay's in the opening scene of "Men In Black."

Species before local politics.
 
2004-07-20 03:52:24 PM  
glass parking lot at neverland ranch!

go mj go!
 
2004-07-20 03:53:18 PM  
Two words:

Bleach Douche

/I'm sorry.
 
2004-07-20 03:56:42 PM  
crimes.against.humanity
 
2004-07-20 03:58:13 PM  
As to the odd genetics of his spawn, obviously he has had a testicle transplant. I feel for the poor guy that got MJ's old ones, though.
 
2004-07-20 03:59:14 PM  
i have co-workers that date black men
 
2004-07-20 03:59:21 PM  
faethe

I could see it being a simple matter of demands. He goes to doctor Allen:

Michael: I want blond babies.
Dr. Allen: Can't do that, sorry.
Michael: Never mind then.

Then he tries doctor Bradley.

Michael: I want blond babies.
Dr. Bradley: Can't do that, sorry.
Michael: Never mind then.

Then he tries doctor Carter.

Michael: I want blond babies.
Dr. Carter: No prob.
Michael: Great! Here's sixteen million dollars!
Dr. Carter (to "surrogate"): Hey baby, want to ride my wang for a million bucks? Just take these fertility drugs, and drink this vial of sperm!
"surrogate": Sure!
Dr. Carter (to Michael): All done. And we used your sperm. You'll have blonde babies.
 
2004-07-20 04:00:44 PM  
Q: When is it bed time at Neverland Ranch?

A: When the big hand is on the little hand.
 
2004-07-20 04:03:27 PM  
Y'all keep asking if this is a sign of the apocalypse...I've got yer answer!

His demon spawn-to-be ARE the 4 horseman...First Dubya's the antichrist, now this. We're all doomed. :(

Someone hold me.
 
2004-07-20 04:04:38 PM  
Pxtl "Poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric."

/Dennis Hopper rules
 
2004-07-20 04:04:39 PM  
[image from opdebeeck.com too old to be available]
/GIS for Michael Jackson
 
2004-07-20 04:06:39 PM  
More demons:

[image from chameleon.net too old to be available]
 
2004-07-20 04:06:57 PM  
[image from us.news2.yimg.com too old to be available]

Oh. My. Farking. God.
Could you imagine that being your father?
He looks like a zombie!

Good old fashioned nightmare fuel.
 
2004-07-20 04:07:51 PM  
The lifeguards at the gene pool are obviously on a break....somebody get him out of there!
 
2004-07-20 04:08:04 PM  
Be sure to read the Support Michael Jackson petition here.

Read some of the comments, they're great!
 
2004-07-20 04:09:03 PM  
another suggestion for the headline:
Jackson molests again: uses more direct approach, makes them instead of borrows them.
 
ACF
2004-07-20 04:10:45 PM  
"Daddy, can I play with your nose?"
 
2004-07-20 04:13:27 PM  
i have co-workers that date black men

I have coworkers that ARE black men.

/okay, I really don't...just wanted to one-up you
 
2004-07-20 04:18:47 PM  
what's the king of pop up to here children?

[image from mjackson.de too old to be available]
 
2004-07-20 04:20:28 PM  
rmdw:

Those comments are hilarious
 
2004-07-20 04:25:14 PM  
---------
"Daddy, can I play with your nose?"
---------

Yes but bring it back to bed with you when you are done.
 
2004-07-20 04:25:19 PM  
I know it's been said before but....

/monty python

Jeeeessssuussss Chrrrrrrist!

/end monty python

I am still in disbelief that this cretin is allowed to breed. there should be no amount of money in this world to convince someone to allow his sperm to leave his testicles for the purpose of spawning children.

Anyone that is involved in this debacle to our precious human gene pool should be immediately severed from the pool to avoid further complications. we already have too many infectious rednecks and turdballs in the world, we definetly don't need any more.

/the People Against MJ Breeding Association have spoken
 
2004-07-20 04:27:00 PM  
From the petition linked a few posts down:

Dooh! Godi i hate those people who has written all that ignorant and stupid stuff! HOW do you think MJ could molest a child when theres 1000 safety cameras in his house?! ignorant people. ! !

Comedy gold!
 
2004-07-20 04:27:37 PM  
-------
Could you imagine that being your father?
-------

Daddie Dearest? Re-incarnation of Joan Collins?
 
2004-07-20 04:29:24 PM  
What is the diffrence between a zit/pimple/acne and Michael Jackson?

A zit/pimple/acne waits until puberty to come on your face.
 
2004-07-20 04:30:02 PM  
DID SOMEONE MENTION THIS ALREADY:

PHOTOSHOP IDEA: What do Mikey's offspring REALLY look like without those masks????

I rule.
 
2004-07-20 04:33:28 PM  
Poor Prince Michael I, Prince Michael II, Prince Michael III, Prince Michael IV, Prince Michael V, Prince Michael VI...
 
2004-07-20 04:35:35 PM  
my favorite quote from the petition posted above:

"Michael Jackson is the King of Pop,the world's greatest entertainer,the best dancer,singer,producer,and he has traveled all over the world.He is 100%innocent of child molestation.All the Mj haters need to leave Michael alone.We all suppose to love Michael for his personality and not by his skin condition,looks.He can't help if he has vitiligo or if his face change when he ages we all love and support you,Michael."
 
2004-07-20 04:39:35 PM  
I thought Michael was pretty good in Planet of the Apes

[image from theage.com.au too old to be available]
 
2004-07-20 04:41:58 PM  
BearToy
Daddie Dearest? Re-incarnation of Joan Collins?


Joan Collins is dead?
 
2004-07-20 04:44:05 PM  
[image from sportsmed.starwave.com too old to be available]
 
2004-07-20 04:44:06 PM  
"Some people have issues, Michael Jackson has a subscription"
 
TV
2004-07-20 04:44:55 PM  
http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?jacksonm&751

Some really nice comments on this page of the MJ petition.

/too lazy to html
 
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