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(Janesville Gazette)   Some Wisconsinite has come up with yet another use for Saran Wrap   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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28885 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2004 at 4:26 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

97 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-07-18 12:59:48 PM  
isn't it Wisconsonian?
2004-07-18 01:00:09 PM  

I normally use it for wrapping my Usinger brats until they're ready for grilling.
2004-07-18 02:05:16 PM  
actually, its wisconsAHns
2004-07-18 02:42:28 PM  
Why not just cheese head?

/dunno, i'm moving there next month from rural NC
2004-07-18 04:29:12 PM  
Actually Wisconsinite is the correct term
2004-07-18 04:30:08 PM  

2004-07-18 04:30:50 PM  
2004-07-18 04:31:19 PM  
Let me be the first to say that this is a bunch of shiat and I hope they catch the asshole and charge him with attempted manslaughter or whatever applies. farking dumbass least I assume it was a teenager...
2004-07-18 04:33:05 PM  
Hey, it could have been piano wire.
2004-07-18 04:33:06 PM  
I think I've finally found a market for my motorcycle mounted box cutter...
2004-07-18 04:33:27 PM  
electricmonk no kidding. its a good thing the guy saw it and was able to at least hit the breaks.
2004-07-18 04:33:53 PM  
Wisconsinite sounds like a mineral to me....
2004-07-18 04:34:13 PM  
Some idiots tied rope across the road at night a few months ago. I slid right through the thing and nearly hit an oncoming car. The fun part was getting all covert and crawling through the fields looking for the kids, but I never did find them. :(
2004-07-18 04:36:51 PM  
Sounds like the riders weren't wearing lids - dumb, and they got VERY lucky.

Back on topic: if the farktard(s) that did this get caught, they SHOULD be charged with attempted manslaughter or something similar.

What, did they think that whoever hit it would do the whole Wile E Coyote rubber band bit and go flying backwards???
2004-07-18 04:37:01 PM  
Hello local Walmart, have you noticed any kids buying mass quanitities of Saran Wrap lately?
Oh, you have? interesting.

these frkkers should be pretty easy to find.
2004-07-18 04:37:34 PM  
My favorite use for Saran Wrap is to get beer home on Sunday. If I run out of beer on Sunday, I can go to my favorite pub with some Saran Wrap, and use it to seal the beers so I can put them in my jacket pocket to take them home. I have to make two or three trips to my car to drop off the beer, but I just tell the door guy I'm going to smoke a bowl, and I'll be right back.

/didn't RTFA
2004-07-18 04:38:41 PM  
2004-07-18 04:41:49 PM  

Sad thing is, that's probably exactly what they thought. Something tells me a person who'd do something like this isn't the most intelligent person...and they probably have a pretty weak grasp of physics.
2004-07-18 04:44:50 PM  
Wrapping up cars: funny. That shiat: not so funny.
2004-07-18 04:46:06 PM  
ouchies, that is so incredably messed up, i mean imagine how the person would feel if those people died, probably not too good
2004-07-18 04:47:02 PM  
I actually did that once when I was fifteen. A car broke it though. Pretty stupid of me in hindsight. Pretty stupid of old couple now to ride without helmets. Darwinism at work. Heap of abuse from freedom-no-matter-what bike enthusiasts soon to follow.
2004-07-18 04:47:16 PM  
2004-07-18 04:37:34 PM CheddarPants
My favorite use for Saran Wrap is to get beer home on Sunday. If I run out of beer on Sunday, I can go to my favorite pub with some Saran Wrap, and use it to seal the beers so I can put them in my jacket pocket to take them home. I have to make two or three trips to my car to drop off the beer, but I just tell the door guy I'm going to smoke a bowl, and I'll be right back.

They sell beer in bottles now, right from the store.
2004-07-18 04:47:49 PM  
favorite line of the article:

And the couple was sent into a bloody slide across the asphalt.

ahh bluh-ee 'ell!!
2004-07-18 04:48:02 PM  
my guess is that the person probably thought a car would fly through and rip it apart.

the car thing is funny. My friends did that before to some people for a b-day prank.

One problem. If you do this to a car...make sure you do it in a cool climate. They did it during the summer at night and the next day, the person didn't go out to their car till the afternoon and the shiat melted on their car. Don't ask what the detailing cost was after that!

2004-07-18 04:48:10 PM  
Oh, wait. I get it. You live in a place where they don't sell liquor on Sunday. Sorry. I'm used to California, where we're drunk...more than you.
2004-07-18 04:48:37 PM  
It would have been somewhat amusing had it been just like 2 or 3 times around, that way it would have just scared the shiat outta the driver and nothing more...but these kids...amatuers...
2004-07-18 04:49:27 PM  
How did they know the next vehicle driving along the road would be a motorcycle?
2004-07-18 04:53:34 PM  

I moved from Raleigh to Racine, WI 6 years ago. I lasted three years before I could come back down South.

There is no comparison.

/Waukesha sucks!
2004-07-18 04:57:40 PM  
Wisconsinite is correct. I have been one my whole life.

Fingerprints on the plastic should wrap this up pretty quick.

/Eat cheese or die
2004-07-18 04:57:54 PM  
Hopefully the terrorists don't find out about this! Quick! Ban the Saran Wrap!
2004-07-18 05:01:49 PM  
I can hear red foreman right about now....

Kitty, where is the damn Saran Wrap. I bet that damn foreign kid took it again. Dumb ass.
2004-07-18 05:01:54 PM  
alllelsefails: but what will we use when we have no more duct tape and plastic sheets to cover our homes when the Terrorist's attack?

The guy photographed himself and this was in the paper:
[image from too old to be available]
Zel [TotalFark]
2004-07-18 05:08:08 PM  
used to live in waukesha, and janesville aint much better. these towns have NOTHING to do for teenagers. we've got cornfields, mcdonalds, drugs and pranks. Well, waukesha has a little-Mehiko section, but it isnt exactly safe to play in.

i commend the fine bored teenagers and their worthless highschools.
2004-07-18 05:08:56 PM  
I doubt that this was meant to harm anyone.

I did something similar with bare WIRE when I was really young... I strung it across a dirt trail in the woods my friends used for their four wheelers.

I honestly didn't know any better... It never occured to me that it could seriously maim or kill someone. I just thought they'd hit it and be knocked off or something.

Luckilly I was with a slightly older, (and ironically, less intelligent) kid who did know better and stopped me, or it could have ended badly. Of course, that same kid later threw a knife at me, (and missed) and together we set his backyard on fire, and built a pit trap with sharpened sticks while playing commando. (My dad luckilly saw us building the pit trap and filled in after yelling at us.)

I don't think a lot of older people realise that kids are not all that wise, and don't understand or think about the potential repurcussions of a lot of things they do. And it doesn't help that adults try to sheild them from reality for as long as possible so they sometimes don't learn any better until it's too late because we want to keep them "innocent". Also hollywood movies and cartoons with unrealistic physics don't help. Nor does Jackass. Do those guys EVER get seriously hurt on Jackass, and if they do, do they show it? I doubt they do.
2004-07-18 05:12:48 PM  
Dad-burn kids, gonna get somebody killed. Or put out an eye.
2004-07-18 05:35:08 PM  

Do you ever look back upon your life and think "it's a wonder I'm still alive!"? I know I have :)
2004-07-18 05:35:27 PM  
"And the couple was sent into a bloody slide across the asphalt" Owwwww Owwwww that had ta hurt.
2004-07-18 05:38:20 PM  
When Saran wrap is outlawed, only outlaws will have Saran wrap.

2004-07-18 05:38:37 PM  
"Everything went white and yellow and red, and I blacked out for a while."

^My favorite sentence. Nearly 50% colors. (counting black and white as colors, that is).

/wheres my lighter?
2004-07-18 05:39:30 PM  
2004-07-18 05:50:06 PM  
Wisconsin = Home of Harley Davidson = No motorcycle helmet laws.

Of course, only a full-faced helmet would have prevented the nastiness on that guy's face, but it's a miracle neither him or his girlfriend didn't get a concussion, or worse.
2004-07-18 05:50:16 PM  
As a former FIB, I prefer cheesehead. Small 'c'.

But whoever did this gets Dickhead. Capital 'D'.
2004-07-18 05:52:26 PM  
hey Chibisuke, dont take this the wrong way--but you sound like a farking idiot. keep in mind all older people were once kids themselves...i did lots of stupid shiat...but there was never a point in my life when i would have thought something like this---or putting wire across a path--would be a good idea...
2004-07-18 05:54:39 PM  
Fish-hooks at eye level?
2004-07-18 05:55:08 PM  
there was some kids in my old 'hood who had the great idea of striging up fishingline with nuts and bolts tied across it. It was across a side road between two street lights. They put it about windshield height and waited in the bushes near by. The kicker was I found out about it because my friend lived a few houses down from where they strung it up and when the first car hit it the cop inside was none too happy about his windshield but got a bit o satisfaction from grabbing their asses as they tried to run into the idiots house it was strung up in front of.
2004-07-18 05:57:27 PM  
Though thinking about WI the best parts were being 19 and visiting Madison when the drinking age was that (honest, I do remember most of that trip), hitting festivals in Milwakee, and the Cheese Castle.

Yes, there really is a Cheese Castle.

Though it is not made of cheese. Go figure.
2004-07-18 05:58:28 PM  
Wisconsinites: come up from the floor
Wisconsitites:hang down from the ceiling

2004-07-18 05:59:01 PM  
This probably was not kitchen wrap. That stuff comes on rolls of less than 100 feet. So one would need to use several rolls to get the desired effect. More likely it was a larger wrap intended to wrap up palettes before shipping. That stuff is a bit thicker and comes on a dispenser that can be picked up with both hands and run back and forth several times across a road. Just a few runs would make a formidable barrier. Especially for a motorcycle.
2004-07-18 06:00:49 PM  
Damn that's a road rash.

I pray that they got the people responsible for this.

I feel sorry for the lug and his girl..


Thinks of roast beef...
2004-07-18 06:01:33 PM  
Once I wrapped saran wrap across the toilet and put the lid down when visiting my uncle when I was a 12. He came out yelling saying he crapped himself, but I do not know if he was serious or just trying to humor my joke. If you stretch it just right and get your placement it is hard to tell on first glance with the lid down that it is there. Pretty sure he was just humoring me though as sure his wang would have known. It would probably work pretty well on the females though.
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