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(Abc.net.au)   Tell her how much you love her with a five billionths of a carat diamond ring   (abc.net.au ) divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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36874 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2004 at 9:06 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



153 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2004-07-18 11:51:06 AM  
I have a 2 carat vs1 diamond in a platinum setting, my hubby will get bj's whenever he wants. I find that diamonds are like working off credit, only good for so long- afterall isn't that why there are anniversary diamonds?
 
2004-07-18 11:52:20 AM  
Isn't that the same size they use for cockrings over there?
 
2004-07-18 11:54:58 AM  
An engagement ring symbolizes the 'investment' the man is putting into his relationship with the woman he gives it to. It should be a 20%(?) of the guys annual income, cementing the commitment he has to the woman and relationship. The DeBeers monopoly is not cool, but the idea remains the same.

So, choose wisely, my fellow & lady farkers.

Guys - The ring size is inversely porportionate to a womans weight, the lesson here guys is - the more $ you have the hotter the chick.

Ladies - Take 'im for all they're worth while you got it!

/off to the gym to hide
 
kcm
2004-07-18 12:00:44 PM  
N-word Jim

did you just make a phish reference in the middle of a thread about diamond ring biatching?
 
2004-07-18 12:01:24 PM  
I still don't get why women actually want engagement rings. It's a throwback to olden days and dowries where the man was claiming you as his possession. Might as well just pee on your leg to mark his territory. (And yes I am female).
 
kcm
2004-07-18 12:02:20 PM  
(if so, I congratulate you)
 
2004-07-18 12:07:28 PM  
poorcku

Wow! Thanks for finding it!
 
2004-07-18 12:08:27 PM  
Attention potential cheapskates:

This ring is NOT cheap. I'm sure, for the cost of what it took to create this thing, you could buy a very nice, large, expensive REAL diamond ring.
 
2004-07-18 12:12:48 PM  
lsmccue It's a competition these days. Whose man "loves them enough" to go for the top-spec colorless rock and which poor cow only got a cubic zirconia lookalike. On one hand I'm not bothered about how much my man will choose to spend when we get engaged, but the exhibitionist in me will want something to show off.

Still, great way to turn something as degrading as marking territory into a multimillion dollar industry...
 
2004-07-18 12:13:51 PM  
does anyone remember those diamonds made of the ashes of deceased loved ones or loved pets?

damn good investment if you ask me
 
2004-07-18 12:15:30 PM  
kitten if you show up at work showing off a big ring for a day people will smile and nod and tell you that you found a keeper and such. if you show up with pictures of the house he bought using the money he would've wasted on a ring as the downpayment then you're colleages will be awestruck.
 
2004-07-18 12:26:32 PM  
big hoop earrings - you gotta be kidding me. An engagement ring symbolizes the "investment" that a guy is gonna put into a marriage?

What, 20% of his all?

Or just 20% of his money?

That's gotta be the lamest thing I've ever heard.
 
2004-07-18 12:27:50 PM  
Worse is having to pitch in $50 for "baby shower" gifts for a coworker who you know is going to be useless the last three months, take three months off, and be useless again (passing photos around, gushing, etc) for another six. Until it's time for the next one to pop out. Forcing you to do her work for her until she finally quits, having fleeced the company for two years of salary. Feh.

It's even worse up here in Soviet Canuckistan. Our laws allow women to take up to a year off. The scenario you suggust actually can last much, much longer.
 
2004-07-18 12:28:43 PM  
Yeah, I see that. But in my case the ring will come after the house we'll be buying together, and I think he knows I don't want anything too fancy. I wouldn't mind being the poor cow with the cubic zirconia, she gets something at least.
 
2004-07-18 12:28:56 PM  
i fully intend to use my wife's dowry to pay for any ring-related expenses.
 
2004-07-18 12:33:04 PM  
kitten i know what you're saying--it just always seems like there are so many better things to spend the $$ on that are actually useful or that both people get some joy out of--ie, house, honeymoon, future kids college fund, etc....
 
2004-07-18 12:35:09 PM  
For many women, I don't think it's really the diamond that matters, it's the proposal or the romance. Proposing with a diamond ring is the traditional romantic way to go about it, but if you get creative, you can propose in much more romantic ways for a lot cheaper, and thus guaranteeing your fair share of blowjobs.
 
2004-07-18 12:35:14 PM  
kitten i know what you're saying--it just always seems like there are so many better things to spend the $$ on that are actually useful or that both people get some joy out of--ie, house, honeymoon, future kids college fund, etc....

New golf clubs, BMW, Playstation 2, surround-sound system, new computer, full library of MST3K movies...
 
2004-07-18 12:35:48 PM  
When I get married, I want an engagement kitchen. Copper cookware is something I can get excited over!

Introducing the 27-million carat engagement skillet- made from the finest Pennsylvania Dutch cast iron. Lovingly seasoned with over 30 years of baked on bacon fat...

[image from pantherprimitives.com too old to be available]

Cast Iron - Because you can't fry chicken with a diamond.
 
2004-07-18 12:36:56 PM  
kcm

did you just make a phish reference in the middle of a thread about diamond ring biatching?


Giggity giggity! Cya in Coventry! (and Camden)
 
2004-07-18 12:41:46 PM  
kitten uk, but I guess it's a little better than a guy pissing on his fiancee's leg.
 
2004-07-18 12:48:40 PM  
I'm sorry but, the Japanese never cease to amaze me..I mean, how cool is that?
 
2004-07-18 12:53:03 PM  
Ladies - Take 'im for all they're worth while you got it!

Ah good. That statement makes it onto Calvin's List of Reasons not to get married at number 503.
 
2004-07-18 12:54:44 PM  
2004-07-18 10:06:28 AM Mugato

Ugh. The whole engagement ring culture makes me want to puke. Don't be such whores, ladies.


I never got an engagement ring until we'd been married 10 years. He asked me if I wanted a diamond because he really wanted me to have a nice ring, and I counter-offered with "how about cubic zirconia and a new roto-tiller?". I got a $60 ring, and a slammin' 5 1/5 HP rear-tined tiller...that tiller still brings a tear to my eye. But I'm weird like that...

 
2004-07-18 12:59:10 PM  

You disguist me. That's got to be the shallowest thing I have ever heard.
 
2004-07-18 12:59:47 PM  
Lamune_Baba

wish i had thought of THAT before shelling out 963 dollars for her ring.

can you imagine it? a man gets down on one knee "honey, i love you, and i want to spend my entire life with you. will you... make me breakfast?"
 
2004-07-18 01:00:50 PM  
My comment below was directed towards Big hoop earings
 
2004-07-18 01:01:35 PM  
meangene

was that directed at anyone in particular?
 
2004-07-18 01:02:10 PM  
okay.
 
2004-07-18 01:04:46 PM  
For many women, I don't think it's really the diamond that matters, it's the proposal or the romance. Proposing with a diamond ring is the traditional romantic way to go about it, but if you get creative, you can propose in much more romantic ways for a lot cheaper, and thus guaranteeing your fair share of blowjobs.

If I have to come up with the sort of sap-festival that is described here then I'd better get a signed affidavit, duely notorized, containing a schedule of said blowjobs. Hell, I'd better get tonsil visitation rights should the marriage end in divorce.
 
2004-07-18 01:07:36 PM  
mizike: you beat me to it.
 
2004-07-18 01:14:48 PM  
Calvin Hobbes
If I have to come up with the sort of sap-festival that is described here then I'd better get a signed affidavit, duely notorized, containing a schedule of said blowjobs.

Some women just really like the romance, and a lot of guys mistake diamonds for romance. If a guy knows his girl doesn't need a ring or a vomit-inducing proposal, then there's no reason the girl should get either. But some people, guys and girls, are into the sappy stuff. My comment was just to point out that there is probably a lot of money wasted on jewelry when a simple "Honey, I love you, will you marry me?" sobfest would have been much more memorable.

Unless you're the romantic type, I think it would be absolutely terrifying to have "will you marry me?" sprung on you. I imagine that if two people are thinking about marriage, it would be brought up in conversation at some point.

I'm just rambling here. Obviously, it's different for everyone.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-07-18 01:26:35 PM  
For many women, I don't think it's really the diamond that matters, it's the proposal or the romance.

My ex-girlfriend's definition of romance was me spending money on her.

But she was also the type who would be interested in the physics of the ring. If I had to guess, I'd say she'd appreciate the gift for its scientific value but wouldn't consider it a substitute for a big rock.
 
2004-07-18 01:28:04 PM  
Veee

Ah, I was just trying for the cheap laughs with my comment.

My bitterness arises from two sources... the first is that a lot of past girlfriends seemed to think that my life should be a perpetual quest for the "perfect gift" or the most "romantic situation." I'm not good at that sort of thing. What makes women think that I would have any idea what they would like? I know what I like, but unless your tastes run to video games, a German car, MST3K and really thick steaks, I imagine that that my idea of perfection is different than yours.

The second is something I find pretty ironic. Girls initially are attracted to me because I dress well, I do have that German car, and I have money to spend. They quickly get upset with me because in order to have the money for these things, I am a very busy person. I work A LOT. When I'm not working, I'm generally not up for much more than a DVD. I need to recharge.

The complaint becomes "You don't have time for me."

This whole engagement ring issue is just fuel for the fire. I can't be alone here... there must be other guys in my same situation.
 
2004-07-18 01:34:18 PM  
I bet this thing will still cost me a month's pay
 
2004-07-18 01:35:35 PM  
Calvin Hobbes
The second is something I find pretty ironic. Girls initially are attracted to me because I dress well, I do have that German car, and I have money to spend.

Riiiiiight...
I'm calling bullshiat.

The only reason these girls even give you the time of day is because of your fantastically huge cock (and the MST3K vids are what keep them staying for breakfast).
 
2004-07-18 01:37:39 PM  
The only reason these girls even give you the time of day is because of your fantastically huge cock (and the MST3K vids are what keep them staying for breakfast).

Ah, you got me there... they find out that I use this thing for clubbing baby seals in the off-season, and they are hooked...
 
2004-07-18 01:38:55 PM  
Calvin Hobbes
What makes women think that I would have any idea what they would like?

Calvin, dude, it's called paying attention. Haven't you ever talked to these women? If I didn't have an inkiling of what my woman liked I would have to be blind, deaf, and in a coma.
How many times has she said, "What do you think about ______?"
Usually she likes it, if she doesn't she'd let you know that too.
I bet she knew what video games/german cars/MST3K movies you like (The Mike ones are the best), if not then there's a reason you guys aren't together.
I get a feeling relationships are hard for you.
 
2004-07-18 01:46:39 PM  
*The only reason these girls even give you the time of day is because of your fantastically huge cock (and the MST3K vids are what keep them staying for breakfast).*

Ah, you got me there... they find out that I use this thing for clubbing baby seals in the off-season, and they are hooked...



I use mine to pierce the ears of pygmy marmosets.
What a small world!
 
2004-07-18 01:47:47 PM  
Calvin, dude, it's called paying attention. Haven't you ever talked to these women? If I didn't have an inkiling of what my woman liked I would have to be blind, deaf, and in a coma.

Sure I listen. I hear all about what their boss did that pissed them off today. I can name all of the other women who work in their office, and possibly list all of the incredibly inconsiderate things they have done.

That's not the information I need. How the hell would I know that she'd really like a charm for her necklace that is shaped like a butterfly? (for instance) Because she said "What do you think about butterflies?"

I get a feeling relationships are hard for you.

Hehehe... didn't I just say that?
 
2004-07-18 01:48:28 PM  
my lady wanted a diamond ring - i went for it, even designed the ring myself - she loved it, she was happy - that made me happy, we're getting married in less than a week.

end of story.
 
2004-07-18 01:53:33 PM  
How many times has she said, "What do you think about______?"

How many times has she said, "What do you think about buying me a cripplingly financially devestating trophy trinket?"

(To which you replied, "Shhhh- sweetheart, please don't talk with your mouth full.")

Then the scotty dog spontaneously combusted with a searing yelp as it pissed on the miniature lemon tree.
 
2004-07-18 02:00:30 PM  
You know, if I was going to blow a wad on a gemstone it sure as hell wouldn't be a diamond. It would be some gem that is actually rare.

Spending money on diamonds is just plain stupid. You might as well spend the money on a tattoo for your forehead that reads "I am a consumer sheep". Diamonds are not rare. The only reason they're expensive is because one company controls over 90% of the world's diamond supply. There are stockpiles and stockpiles of unsold diamonds and they still keep digging them out of the ground. To make matters even worse, diamonds can be easily manufactured and the only way to tell they're manufactured diamonds is with a freaking electron magnescope.

Get a real rare gemstone if you insist on useless, shiney trinkets to show your love or sense of self worth, one that can't be man made.

I swear, people are like freaking monkeys when it comes to shiney things.
 
2004-07-18 02:03:32 PM  
Aside from all the recent crap, diamonds didn't even matter to anyone until DeBeers said lets say they're valuable. And that was a long while ago.

Also threads like this need a damn pic. And if they mention a damn pic they had BETTER show the farking thing.
 
2004-07-18 02:07:46 PM  

2004-07-18 11:54:58 AM big hoop earrings

An engagement ring symbolizes the 'investment' the man is putting into his relationship with the woman he gives it to. It should be a 20%(?) of the guys annual income, cementing the commitment he has to the woman and relationship. The DeBeers monopoly is not cool, but the idea remains the same.


You are saying that a man making $50,000/year is supposed to spend $10,000 on a farking ring?!? Better to find a woman that is not as shallow and materialistic as you are, my dear.

After the BJ's and pu$$y become routine the realtionship will need some actual substance to survive. No wonder the divorce rate in this country is so danm high.
 
2004-07-18 02:11:11 PM  
Oh would you look at that? A picture of it won an award. Hey, speaking of which, where's a picture of it in the article? I would really like to see exactly what I'm reading about here, or does that require money and bandwith on the site's part?
 
2004-07-18 02:17:34 PM  
my lady wanted a diamond ring - i went for it, even designed the ring myself - she loved it, she was happy - that made me happy, we're getting married in less than a week.

end of story.


One would think that this would be more the Beginning of Story...
 
2004-07-18 02:27:13 PM  
big hoop earrings
Guys - The ring size is inversely porportionate to a womans weight, the lesson here guys is - the more $ you have the hotter the chick.


Actually, the weight of the woman is inversely proportional the the date of her wedding.

As a newlywed good friend of mine commented when I asked how his lovely new wife was doing, "She's great! Although her ass is spreading exponentially..."
 
2004-07-18 02:30:12 PM  
As a newlywed good friend of mine commented when I asked how his lovely new wife was doing, "She's great! Although her ass is spreading exponentially..."

Um... Reason number 504.
 
2004-07-18 02:38:02 PM  
Calvin Hobbes
I know what I like, but unless your tastes run to video games, a German car, MST3K and really thick steaks

Sounds good to me! Except for the steak, I'd prefer a big bowl of pasta. ..Um, not that I'm proposing or anything. ; )
 
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