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(Bored at Work)   Everyone's thinking it. You just type it over here ------->   ( divider line
    More: Survey  
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31571 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2004 at 3:18 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

1172 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

2004-07-16 03:41:00 PM  
How many licks would it really take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
2004-07-16 03:41:05 PM  
Why did Damon Wayans have to die so young?

[image from too old to be available]

We will miss you Damon!
2004-07-16 03:41:13 PM  
Know what I hate?
2004-07-16 03:41:17 PM  
You know, with a bit of luck and some smooth talking, I could get most of this mess blamed on the new guy...
2004-07-16 03:41:20 PM  

I HATE that farking old dancing guy from the Six Flags commercials. Does anyone else think he looks like Junior Soprano?

[image from too old to be available]
2004-07-16 03:41:37 PM  
2004-07-16 03:41:43 PM  
"Well, time to do my kegel exercises, this time, try not to sit there and grin, you amiable little butt gnome"
2004-07-16 03:41:44 PM  
Has Smookyfufu been rescued from the elephant vagina yet?

One of these days, sex will be better.
2004-07-16 03:41:47 PM  
There once was a man from Sweeney,
who dropped some Gin on his weenie,
he wasn't uncouth, so he added Vermouth
& slipped his wife a martini!
2004-07-16 03:41:49 PM  
2004-07-16 03:41:50 PM  
Is there any, ANY possible way I'd have a chance with Ingrid from "Joe Shmoe 2." Seriously, I just need to know. It would be so good if I could know and get on with my life, one way or another.
2004-07-16 03:41:53 PM  
mmmmmmmm beer
2004-07-16 03:42:09 PM  
R.E.O. Speedwagon kicked Journey's ass.
2004-07-16 03:42:11 PM  
I just lost my job and I'm excited!!

Anyone know anyone that is hiring in NYC? Im moving there next month and am looking for a marketing/promotions job. Let me know!
2004-07-16 03:42:12 PM  
Fat Chicks.
2004-07-16 03:42:15 PM  
Is a closely shaved scrotum refreshing?

Yes...yes it is...
2004-07-16 03:42:17 PM  
Was that 'whoosh' I just heard a bunch of horny farkers rushing over to LeaLoo's bio?
2004-07-16 03:42:27 PM  
This thread, this website...shwango...none of this makes any sense to me. Can someone please help me? What the hell is going on?
2004-07-16 03:42:27 PM  
The dice are loaded, we roll with our fingers crossed, the war is over, the good guys lost, the fight was fixed, the poor stay poor, the rich get rich, that's how it goes, the boat is leaking, the captain lied, there's this broken feeling like our father or our dog just died, we're talking to our pockets, we want a box of chocolates and a long stemmed rose
2004-07-16 03:42:28 PM  
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
2004-07-16 03:42:31 PM  
no such thing as ugly blow job no such thing as ugly blow job no such thing as ugly blow job no such thing as ugly blow job no such thing as ugly blow job no such thing as ugly blow job
2004-07-16 03:42:43 PM  
If it wasn't for that horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college...

/no voting, not original, but I'm listening to the monologue on
2004-07-16 03:42:49 PM  
wft is the polyphonic spree?
2004-07-16 03:42:55 PM  
Maybe I shouldn't have pooped on my boss's desk.
2004-07-16 03:42:58 PM  
Am I the only farker who likes to look in the mirror while fapping?
2004-07-16 03:43:13 PM  
You know you had a good time the night before when you wake up feeling sticky.
2004-07-16 03:43:18 PM  
I am so much smarter than my co-workers.
2004-07-16 03:43:35 PM  
Damn...what was his name again? What'll I say when he wakes?
2004-07-16 03:43:50 PM  
Look God, I told you before I'm just not prophet material..No! no one will follow me..I can' I can' they'll throw me in jail or kill me..How can I be sure you'll protect me...yeah if do just what you say.. everyone will do anything I tell them too..OK OK tell me what I have to do...Hold on a sec..gotta take my meds...

OK I'm ready......God?..........God?........NOOOOOOOO...... DAMN YOU GOD!
2004-07-16 03:43:52 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-07-16 03:44:04 PM  
I blink and the gaping asshole is still there, I think I typed in that address wrong...
2004-07-16 03:44:06 PM  
I was already to wrtite what I was thinking and then got completely side-tracked by LeaLoo's post..

/what the hell was I thinking?
2004-07-16 03:44:08 PM  
I should be working.

But I'm Farking.

And I don't care.
2004-07-16 03:44:10 PM  
ten minutes of my life wasted
2004-07-16 03:44:16 PM  
oh boy StarGate Atlantis premieres tonight!
2004-07-16 03:44:26 PM  
2004-07-16 03:44:26 PM  
One of these days...I'm going to cut you into little pieces!
2004-07-16 03:44:32 PM  
chachi88 is handsome and brave.

chachi88 how did you get to be so cool?

I don't know. I just am.
2004-07-16 03:44:35 PM  
LostAgain owes me more money than God Cartaret County.
2004-07-16 03:44:36 PM  
So, last Friday night I go to pickup take-out, oops, I mean take-away from Outback Steak House. The boyfriend asks me to stop on the way to pick up some chew for him. Mind you, I've already got a pretty damned good buzz going. I get to the store, ask for "Koala" chew and the kid looks at me like I have four heads. Now, I'm pissed 'cuz the boyfriend said the sold it at this store. I move on to the next store and realize it's called "Kodiak". Man, did I feel like an ass. Can't wait to go back to first store (tonight on the way home) and explain my stupidity to the clerk.

/got nuthin'/

Is it time to go home yet?????

Anyone got good plans for the weekend?
2004-07-16 03:44:39 PM  
I didn't have time to shave this morning. I really wish I did because ever since I switched from an electric razor to wetshaving with a Mach3 Turbo, badger shaving brush, and British shaving creams, the morning shaving ritual is such a pleasure now. I always had a Homer-Simpson-5 o'clock-shadow-all-the-time beard but now I get really close, comfortable shaves. And the scents from the shaving creams (mints, florals, bay rums, etc.) smell really good and prepare me for the work day. I win.
2004-07-16 03:44:43 PM  
nose hairs are sexy
2004-07-16 03:44:43 PM  
Fraggle Rock sounds like a the name of a musical genre, not a TV show.
2004-07-16 03:44:53 PM  
Who am I kidding... No I'm not.
2004-07-16 03:44:54 PM  
Hey y'all, watch this!
2004-07-16 03:45:20 PM  
i miss new howard stern shows. july sucks.
2004-07-16 03:45:21 PM  
I give up, I can't keep up.
2004-07-16 03:45:24 PM  
speaking of star gate, any one else think Major Carter is freaking hot?

I'd put my symboite in it.
2004-07-16 03:45:25 PM  
I'm more attractive than I give myself credit for.
2004-07-16 03:45:34 PM  
Who invented cottage cheese?

How did they know they had it juuuuust right?
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