oh i get it. you're supposed to post whatever's on your mind.

When should I put on my robe and wizard's hat.

why the hell do people pay $5 a month for total fark?

are farts supposed to feel wet?

..."man, that's gonna itch when it dries"...

/obvious

Im 31 now. I have to stop the heavy drinking or its gonna kill me.

Nice Kitty.

Really, who was the person who thought "hey, I wonder what THAT tastes like?"

/nasty farker!

Sure would like another blowjob.

Y'know. If I could find a woman who liked comic books and video games as much as me? I could marry her. Period.

/Takers?

Is it wrong to botox your scrotum to get the wrinkles out?

If throwing a penny into a wishing well gets me one wish, does a quarter get me 25? What about my 1942 Stan Musial rookie card?

Who knew you could be banned for trolling other fark members..

jdhannan door hinge. That's the best I've been able to do as well. Nicely played.

27 minutes to go....

I never really did see a turtle.

How can I make sure I don't get caught? Hmmmmm..

2004-07-16 03:21:55 PM ESH: "Does taking it in the poopchute feel like taking a really big dump in reverse?"

It's like taking a dump in reverse, then forward, then reverse, then forward, then reverse...you get the idea.

Sure would like a beer right now.

If I have sex with my clone is it incest or masturbation?

The average poop is like what, maybe 4 ounces? And the average person poops once a day or so. If we consider all the people living in poorer countries who eat less and poop less, I suppose we could assume that the average person poops an average of 2.85 ounces per day.

At the moment there are approximately 6.381 billion people on the planet. If we multiply the number of people by the weight of the average poop, we come up with 18,185,238,846 ounces, or 1,136,577,430 pounds of poop.

Per day.

The people of planet Earth poop over 1 billion pounds of poop each and every day.

And you wonder where that smell comes from.

Americans calling Michael Moore fat? I think my head just exploded.

Waffle iron!

how do I strikeout text?

...."Knock Knock Knockin on heaven's dooooor hey hey yeah....

This is pointless, but I can't resist. Post.

Bleh. That was disappointing.

How do you use the three shells, after all?

Sure would like to smother myself in slightly melted chocolate chips.

how I would bang every dusty chick at least five times.

John Kerry has a really HUGE head

I wonder how many people really were thinking about taking it in the ass is like taking a poop in reverse.

/I'm not joking, I was reading "I did it for Science" yesterday from Nerve.com

I wonder if anyone in my cubefarm just noticed I cut one?

/gonna blame it on the fat guy behind me if they do...

Why aren't I as smart as mikehod by not noticing that Brittany Spears was drinking a ginsing instead of a bottle of whisky?

is it true? am i okay? are you okay?

jdhannan

whore-binge

why the hell do people pay $5 a month for total fark?

It covers the cost of shipping the "whore in a box" we get every month.

To infinty... And BEYOND!

.oO( Why aren't there any good Photostop contests today? )

Steven Wright would dominate this thread if he were here.

I want to stick my tubesteak in your sister.

Sure would like to know what David Lynch thinks about when he goes grocery shopping.

CuddleButt
Wins

If you fart and something rolls down your leg it means you've "fumbled"?

No it means you sharted.

ThereareFourLights
Wait... maybe there really ARE five lights."

/well played

Damn, who let the liters in on this thread?

If I don't get laid in ten years can I be considered a born again virgin?

My headline was funnier.

If women make up more than half the Earth's population, and each woman has two boobies, then there are more boobies on the planet than people!

"I pay five dollars a month for this."

or

"Hey, now the liters know what Total Fark is like!"

Here I sit, ass-cheeks a-flexin', just gave birth to another Texan.