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(ESPN)   Cleveland named most most tortured sports city. Contrary to popular belief, Cleveland does not in fact "rock"   ( divider line
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6296 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2004 at 2:36 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-07-13 01:42:09 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-07-13 02:07:40 PM  
1. Indians vs. Marlins, Oct. 26, 1997

Jose Mesa is the anti-Christ
2004-07-13 02:08:06 PM  
Thank God I'm not a Cleveland sports fan. The Drive, The Fumble, Jordan's Shot, losing the 7th game of the WS in the bottom of the 9th, Art Modell. That's a Hell of a lot for any fan to deal with. Give 'em credit though, as they handle their fate better than the obnoxious Red Sox nation...
2004-07-13 02:14:14 PM  
2004-07-13 02:19:19 PM  
As a lifelong Browns fan, I concur.
2004-07-13 02:26:06 PM  
Alright, now that I've gotten the initial "grrrr......" out of my system and forwarded this article to all of my extended family in Ohio, I'll make a more coherent comment.

I got so ticked off last year during the MLB playoffs listening to Cubs and Red Sox fans complain about their poor poor team and how they haven't won anything in SO long. Farkin' cry babies! Once you've read this article, you can no longer EVER consider a fan of ANY Cleveland sport to be weak minded or easily swayed. We've had our hearts torn out year after year after horrible year, yet we still stand by our Tribe, Cavs, and Browns (v2.0 after that anti-christ Modell moved the team).

Now I'm going to go sit in the corner of my office, curl up into a fetal position, and cry for the next couple hours....
2004-07-13 07:16:46 PM  
I'd like to say Philly deserves this honor...
2004-07-14 12:38:18 AM  
The Eagles at least made it to the Superbowl in 81.
The Phillies have won a World Series more recently than the Indians (1980 vs. 1948)
The 76ers won several NBA as recently as 83.

So quit your whining.
2004-07-14 02:42:04 AM  
Bah, Cleveland doesn't count, they only have 3 teams.

Try being a Philly fan...losingist team in the history OF THE WORLD. I almost wish they didn't win in 80 so our whining had even more power...
2004-07-14 02:42:40 AM  
What's even funnier is how the ravens won the superbowl a couple years ago lol! :D
2004-07-14 02:43:30 AM  
Drew Carey surrenders.
2004-07-14 02:59:22 AM  
Oh god....I could'nt agree more.....

/46 years for me, and still waiting...../
2004-07-14 03:00:37 AM  
Oh, wait, hockey doesn't count either.
Still, there's gotta be a lot more Philly overall, more collective suffering...
2004-07-14 03:01:42 AM  
That's what you get for naming your football team "Browns"...

/what about Chicago? or Boston??
2004-07-14 03:03:12 AM  

I have to agree. When I read the list, all I could think of was "and Philly loses, again!"

Seriously, though...I am not a native Philadelphian, moved here seven years ago. I'm not a Philly sports fan, either - Giants are my football team, and Islanders are my hockey team (and could care less about baseball or basketball).

And even with all of that said - even with the inner hatred I feel for the Eagles and the Flyers...I can still feel pity for this poor town - their pain is truly palpable. I mean, they just *throb* with the pain of being sports losers.

And then they lose this too.

Oy vey.
2004-07-14 03:06:01 AM  
And all this time i thought san diego was the most most tortured sports city.
2004-07-14 03:09:01 AM  
Heh, as a Buffalonian and a fan of the Cleveland Indians, by all means I should've killed myself already. #3 AND #1! Yikes.
2004-07-14 03:13:53 AM  
Oh, wait, hockey doesn't count either.

I have never been in more agreement with a statement about sports in my life. Hockey, indeed, does not count, in any way, shape, or form.
2004-07-14 03:15:16 AM  
D.C. hasn't exactly been a sports haven in the past ten or so years. Caps are sometimes good but mosttimes not, the Redskins have made the playofs once in eleven years, and I shouldn't even have to mention the Wizards, save for those who don't even know DC's bb team name.

On the plus side D.C. United had a nice dynasty going a few years back, Joe Gibbs has returned, and we don't have to put up with a whiny baseball team (but regardless, we do have to suffer through 280 minutes of homerun highlights every episode of sportscenter)
2004-07-14 03:17:11 AM  
Norbert, what about chicago, exactly? It's not our fault your baseball team sucks. Your basketball team more than made up for that in the 90s. ALL our teams suck. Ohio State sucks too, so in NE ohio we get it coming and going.
2004-07-14 03:19:52 AM  
Philly fans, bah.

Let's see, who stole your beloved football team and moved them to B.. B.. I hate speaking the name... Balt... Baltimore *gag*?

Are there "Eagles Backers" organizations in every state?

Philly doesn't even have enough fan support to rally behind a team to get them into the playoffs. Whereas Cleveland manages to get enough people to rally behind the teams so they manage to get there (and then fark it up, true).

Philly, bah. Only two of your ten worst moments happened in the last ten years. We've had three, including the double-bad year of 1995.

Besides, Philly has a hockey team to spread things out across. Clevelanders don't happen to have that enjoyment, they've got to wait longer and suffer harder in supporting their teams.
2004-07-14 03:30:48 AM  

No baseball in D.C.?

Take the Expos away from Montreal or the Blue Jays from Toronto, they don't need them.

I gave up on baseball entirely after the last pile of strikes and the utter crap Bud Selig's pulled. I think every team from the owner on down to the hot dog vendor should be fired, subjected to rigorous testing for drugs including steroids and performance-enhancing stuff, and then subjected to a boot camp with everyone else that'd love to play in the big leagues.

There's no need for anyone to make more than a million a year. There's an assload of people out there who'd be glad to play for that money, and they wouldn't be blowing their chances by getting in trouble with drugs, guns, prostitutes, and all that stuff. They'd actually be half-decent role models.

Of course, you can say that for basketball and football too.
2004-07-14 03:33:04 AM  
On the contrary, Cleveland does rock. I went there last month on vacation, *yes* vacation. Had a great time. RnR Hall of Fame, NFL Hall of Fame, and Cedar Point were all in easy reach. Jacobs' field is an incredible ballpark. The people of Cleveland were so kind, unlike those sorry bastages in Philly. Don't believe the gripes, Cleveland is a fine place.
2004-07-14 03:35:52 AM  
All this energy callin' me
Back where it comes from
It's such a crude attitude
It's back where it belongs
2004-07-14 03:39:02 AM  
Phoenix gopt jipped in this list. Yes, the dbacks had a good run for 4 years, and won a world series, but other than that, our sports teams suck so much, that no one cares about them. I'm looking at the coyotes, suns, and cardinals here.
2004-07-14 03:44:54 AM  
If I extrapolate my experience of meeting one Philadelphian into the entire city, then the entire city is full of total bigamist assholes that have to belittle everyone else and enjoy having second wives that fondle them in front of their first wives. Oh, and totally bewitch others' girlfriends into becoming their second wives.

Mind you, I live about a hundred miles west of Cleveland... I'd rather deal with the Clevelanders who come down here to party on the islands every weekend. They may be rude and nasty and stuck up, but nowhere near what Philly must be.
2004-07-14 03:46:01 AM  
I agree with you FunkyMcFly. Im from Buffalo and I love the city of Cleveland. I just want to hang myself right now.
2004-07-14 04:24:12 AM  
Pittsburgh rejoices.

2004-07-14 04:29:33 AM  
null, you must be in Port Clinton, eh?
2004-07-14 04:38:52 AM  
I still feel bad for Byner, that was a strip, not a fumble.
2004-07-14 04:41:50 AM  
Denver laughs at you, Cleveland. Hahaha.
2004-07-14 05:00:25 AM  
From Akron, and we always cheer for our teams, no matter how many times they lose....and they do it often. Now we have boozer dicthing out on us. But at least we dont whine about a better team beating us, all the time(cough*Boston*) Go Tribe. And Buffalo is a nice city too, been through there many times on my way to gamble in Niagra
2004-07-14 05:45:06 AM  
Cleveland? Are you kidding me?

Try losing 4 straight Super Bowls . . .

Scotty Norwood's wide right kick to lose one on the last play . . .

The Music City Miracle (losing to Tennessee Titans in playoffs on last play of game when apparently illegal lateral results in TD) . . .

No Goal (Dallas beats Buffalo in triple overtime in Game 6 to win the Stanley Cup in 1999 even though Brett Hull was clearly in the crease) . . .

No Goal II (Philly beats Buffalo in second game of playoff series on John LeClair's shot that went through the side of the net) . . .

Losing the NBA Buffalo Braves franchise after seeing owner Paul Snyder literally sell off players like Bob McAdoo . . .

OJ Simpson . . .

No Super Bowl wins

No Stanley Cups

MLB toying around with us for 2 years before deciding Buffalo couldn't support a team despite drawing 1.2 million fans a year to see the Triple A Bisons.

It's a slam dunk.

But Cleveland can have it. Gladly.
2004-07-14 06:05:32 AM  
The only thing that counts is hockey.

Hell, the only real SPORT is hockey.

All the rest are games.
2004-07-14 06:06:26 AM  
Umm.. at least Cleveland kept the name and colors. Don't blame Baltimore, blame the NFL.. we tried to get a team for years, but cities like JACKSONVILLE were deemed more deserving..

/Baltimore Colts. Remember them?
2004-07-14 06:23:26 AM  
Wow, and my ever-loving Cincinnati ranks 13th on that list. Hopefully, the Bengals will rectify the situation in the next season considering that the damn awful Reds won't be helping any time soon. Thank you once again, Uncle Carl, for last year's fire-sell and the inevitable fire-sell after this shiatty season, you worthless fark. Trade our bullpen for a bag of farking baseballs because that's all they are worth (and Jeebus have mercy, Danny Graves is the only halfway decent closer; how utterly retarded). And as for local college sports?? Should I cry now??

/proud to be supporting losers, and yes, turkeys do fly where I live
2004-07-14 06:28:17 AM  
Baltimore Colts. Remember them?

Sure do. Indianapolis--another wonderful team that I support every season only to feel the need to gouge my eyes out afterwards. Want the Colts back?

/will throw in the Pacers for free, too
2004-07-14 07:10:55 AM  
Hey, what about the Cleveland Crunch? They won a few indoor soccer championships during the 1990s. The problem with people are they have basically three sports on their mind: Baseball, Basketball, and Football. If it doesn't occur in one of those sports it is irrelevent. Personally, I don't watch any of those "professional" sports anymore because they're all a bunch of overpaid rich whining assholes scheming for ways to get a bigger payday for playing a god damn game.
2004-07-14 07:12:13 AM  
How about New Orleans? The Saints have only one playoff win in well over 30 years of existence. Only four playoff appearances, sprinkled around mostly dismal seasons.
2004-07-14 07:12:25 AM  
New Orleans deserves to replace Tampa on that list. You aren't tortured when you've won a Super Bowl and a Stanley Cup. The Saints have won exactly 1 (one) playoff game. The Hornets (BTW most fans here would gladly take back the name of the "Jazz" from Utah) can't get out of the first round.

The Buccaneers lost their first twenty-something games. Guess who they first won against. Yep, the Saints.

As mentioned in a previous ESPN 25 piece, we are the home of the Bagheads.

Mark my words: the Houston Texans will win the Super Bowl before the Saints do.

And since others are including college sports in this: Baton Rouge != New Orleans, so LSU doesn't count.
2004-07-14 07:21:48 AM  
As a Clevelander, as much as I want to be offended by that headline... I can't because it's the sorry truth.... And now Boozer's going too!!! Scumbag!!!
2004-07-14 08:19:26 AM  
Being from the Akron, OH area, Cleveland sports is in my blood. We have had some heartbreaks, but we will win soon and it will mean more to us than...oh...let's say Yankees fans who get pissed when they don't win the World Series every freaking year. It's just a matter of time with the cyclical nature of sports. First the Tribe in 2005, then the Brownies, then the Cavs. Screw Boozer, he passes up a chance to play with LeBron to go hang out with those pansies in Utah.
2004-07-14 08:31:02 AM  
As a native Clevelander, I totally agree with this "honor." The day Modell announced he was moving the team, sportscaster and average people alike were litterally crying on TV, it was that sad.

And, now, I have the great fortune of living in Baltimore, home of the Ravens (Aka The East Coast Raiders. When I tell people I hate the Ravens and hate Modell for what he did to the city of Cleveland, the dumbass response I receive is "Well, why did you move here then?"

People here then compare what Modell did to Cleveland with what Irsay did to them when he moved the Colts. There is one small logic flaw with that statement, though. Irsay shopped the team to other cities, Baltimore, after seeing Cleveland vote down a tax measure to build a new stadium, went after the Browns. That tax measure would've bascially given Modell a stadium, every penny from consessions, tickets, and parking, as well as tax-free living. He even wanted more tax breaks for his other properties in the city too. Cleveland voters said no and he moved the team. He hasn't been back there since.
2004-07-14 08:31:56 AM  
And, I forgot to mention, please don't take me as some huge Browns fan either, I bleed the black and gold of the Pittsburgh Steelers...But, I do like the Tribe.
2004-07-14 08:32:16 AM  
Anyone else consider slashing their wrists the night Mesa and Buckn... I mean Fernandez blew the '97 Series? I know I wanted to.

//one of these years, we've got to win SOMETHING... right?
2004-07-14 08:43:57 AM  
As a New Yorker living in Chicago, I don't agree with this pick of Cleveland.

Why? Because now I have to listen to all of the Cubs fans talk about how they're the most tortured.
2004-07-14 08:51:12 AM  
Still, there's gotta be a lot more Philly fans.

Ever hear of the Browns Backers? They're bars that support the Cleveland Browns. They're everywhere, all around the world, and hold a huge fan base. The Browns have the largest fan base of any football team, the last I've heard. So please be quiet about your Philly teams, thanks.

The Browns haven't been to a Superbowl, despite some really good teams
The Cavs haven't been to the Championship, despite some really good teams.
The Indians haven't won the World Series, despite some really good teams.
All three teams have had decades of sub-par play, with those good teams finally giving hope... but they not only lost in the end, but in dramatic fashion, which is just a stab to the heart.

Ever watch the movie Major League? There's a reason it's centered in Cleveland.
2004-07-14 08:54:43 AM  
A Philadelphia Eagles fan, a Green Bay Packers fan, a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, and a Cleveland Browns fan go mountain climbing.

They reach the top of the mountain, when the Eagles fan shouts, "This is for the Philadelphia Eagles!" and jumps off the top of the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone, the Packers fan backs away from the summit, screams, "THIS IS FOR THE GREEN BAY PACKERS!", takes a running start, and absolutely takes a flying leap off the mountain.

Not to be outdone by mere pansy-ass NFC teams, the Browns fan backs away from the summit, screams THIS IS FOR THE CLEVELAND BROWNS!!!!! at the top of his lungs, takes a run, and boots the Steelers fan off the mountain .
2004-07-14 09:00:25 AM  

You're absolutely right. I've lived in Tampa and not been tortured for nearly 2 years. These days, I'm positively gleeful

Keep the faith, New Orleans.
2004-07-14 09:04:05 AM  
A first grade teacher in Philadelphia explains to her class that she is an Eagles fan. She asks her class how many of them are Eagles fans too. All of the class raises their hands except for one boy.

The teacher asks the boy, "If you're not an Eagles fan, then what are you?"
The boy replies, "I'm a Browns fan."
The teacher asks, "Why?"
The boy replies "Because my mom is a Browns fan, my dad is a Browns fan, my grandparents are Browns fans, so I am one too!"
The annoyed teacher says, "Well, just because your family are Browns fans doesn't mean you have to be one too. If your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?"
The boy smiles and replies, "We'd be Eagles fans!"
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