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(Denver Channel)   Two teens busted for playing "sniper" by targeting bus stop patrons with a laser pointer   (thedenverchannel.com) divider line 80
    More: Dumbass  
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7897 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2004 at 10:32 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-07-10 09:17:30 AM
Jailairty hopeful ensues!
 
2004-07-10 09:48:19 AM
The devices are not illegal, but police confiscated them anyway.

Awww... bad men come and take away toys.
 
2004-07-10 09:48:55 AM
Two teens soon to learn the new game "Ass Sniper" in prison.
 
2004-07-10 09:50:22 AM
Why? Last time I checked, it wasn't illegal to play with laser pointers. I agree it was pretty stupid, but jailarity for playing with a laser pointer is a little extreme, don't you think?
 
2004-07-10 10:00:37 AM
Had they dotted a cop, the outcome could have been drastically different.
 
2004-07-10 10:38:59 AM
Yeah, I can see myself and just about anyone I hang out with doing this without a second thought...

"A 32-year-old Westminster man said he was standing at the light rail station at 1000 Englewood Parkway just after midnight when he saw a red laser dot on his shirt and realized it might be a laser gun sight."

I personally find it hilarious how even the most unimportant, useless person will immediately think that they have become a target for a secret government sniper unit at the drop of a hat. I blame Hollywood.
 
2004-07-10 10:39:28 AM
Silly teenagers, REALLY important people don't take the bus!
 
2004-07-10 10:39:57 AM
They deserve jail, cause you know, laser pointers can kill you.
 
2004-07-10 10:40:31 AM
 
2004-07-10 10:41:29 AM
They should be in jail for using such an outdated, hackneyed prank. I was doing that as a kid 14 years ago.
 
2004-07-10 10:51:11 AM
a LASER POINTER?? come on! that's the oldest trick in the book!
 
2004-07-10 10:51:40 AM
the Washington D.C. snipers weren't going after "really important" people either, but they killed them anyway. I'm sure all those "useless, unimportant" people still have family who mourn them. I see a laser dot on my shirt, damn right I'm hitting the deck. Not because I think I must be the target of a government plot, but because there are plenty of wacko freaks out there who like killing the random, unimportant person.

/with that said, DIE GAS-PUMPER!!!
 
2004-07-10 10:53:43 AM
A 32-year-old Westminster man said he was standing at the light rail station at 1000 Englewood Parkway just after midnight when he saw a red laser dot on his shirt

Should have beamed him right in the freaking eye...

According to the Laser Institute of America people often have strong psychological reactions to being illuminated with a laser beam. One researcher found that at times people receive eye injuries, not from the beam itself, but by a strong response that includes vigorously rubbing or sticking their fingers in their eye. :)
 
2004-07-10 10:54:35 AM
"Police located witnesses in a nearby trailer park"

Why does that always make me chuckle?
 
2004-07-10 10:57:28 AM
I see a laser dot on my shirt, damn right I'm hitting the deck.

Oh man, that would be some funny shiat. Maybe this current sniper/terrorist/goverment/everyone else-paranoia will see a new Rennaissance in laser pointer hilarity. This post-9/11 pussification of the average Joe could be entertaining.
 
2004-07-10 10:57:57 AM
I'm with you, Doug
 
2004-07-10 10:58:07 AM
What kind of lame sniper would ever use a laser sight? If you have a good scope for long range or properly set up sights for close range a laser sight is worse than useless to a sniper. The fact is it can give away the snipers position and get him (or her) killed.
 
2004-07-10 10:58:21 AM
"At this point we have to determine the intent. If they were genuinely trying to arouse anxiety or excite or terrorize anybody, then it would be chargeable offense," said Det. Perry Schellpfeffer. "The investigation is still continuing but it looks as though they were just out having fun."

Six of one, half-dozen of the other, please.
 
2004-07-10 10:59:35 AM
buncha prop comics...
 
2004-07-10 10:59:52 AM
...but at least they weren't wearing tights in Paris. I'll be damned if French cops wouldn't scream "sacre bleu" and surrender if these kids show up outside Euro Disney.
 
2004-07-10 11:00:16 AM
NRA surrenders.
 
2004-07-10 11:00:54 AM
A second person also saw the red dot on Joseph Worth's shirt. Then Chris Thompson, 22, watched the red dot move from Worth to himself. He saw two flashes nearby that appeared to be gunshots.

Police located witnesses in a nearby trailer park who said they heard two gunshots
...

Actually, what they heard was Worth & Thompson's bowels do a high speed evacuation when they saw the laser dot.
 
2004-07-10 11:04:42 AM
I'm thinking about putting a laser pointer on the MC.

Then when I drive down the road and someone pulls out,
they'll see the red beam, realize that I'm technologically
more advanced, and they'll know that they'd better back off
before I start getting out the power point slides and such.
 
2004-07-10 11:06:18 AM
Laser sights are for close quarter combat.

Methinks the shooter would probably be right in front of you if you found yourself to be illuminated.
 
2004-07-10 11:07:59 AM
dumbasses.
 
2004-07-10 11:08:01 AM
I am so wasted, i cant even think off a witty remark
 
2004-07-10 11:10:25 AM
In this situation, I think the choice of actions to take would have been yelling out, "Protect the President," then tackling the person to your immediate left or right. Good times.
 
2004-07-10 11:12:51 AM
A second person also saw the red dot on Joseph Worth's shirt. Then Chris Thompson, 22, watched the red dot move from Worth to himself. He saw two flashes nearby that appeared to be gunshots

Furthermore, if you are being targeted by a laser sight and you see two flashes, you'll probably hear two gunshots (the distance wouldn't be far enough for the flash before sound thingy --yeah, there would be a delay, but it would most likely be imperceptable).

Oh, and you would be dead too.
 
2004-07-10 11:13:50 AM
Oh come on. I did stuff like this as a kid. It was all an overreaction by a bunch of morons, and then compounded by some 'witnesses' in a trailer park, probably nosy old people and drunk trailer trash.
 
2004-07-10 11:19:13 AM

anyone remember that stupid magician in his stupid box?

now THAT was a good use of laser pointers

 
2004-07-10 11:23:51 AM
See the kid in the upper right corner?

Laser pointers and kids... you've all been warned.
 
2004-07-10 11:24:53 AM
I call for waiting periods to purchase these evil assault lasers.
 
2004-07-10 11:30:31 AM
thank you damitjim that is the first time i have laughed on fark in a long long time. You know cause i remember that thread where we determined there is no such thing as an assault weapon.
 
2004-07-10 11:32:22 AM
How far away were these kids...I didn't know those lame ass pointers had that kind of range???
 
2004-07-10 11:39:38 AM
Jail bad. "I AM A RETARD" tattooed on their cheeks good.
 
2004-07-10 11:45:15 AM
A real sniper wouldn't use a laser sight anyway. It warns the target and gives away the sniper's position. We have Hollywood to thank for this silly misconception.

That said, the teens were dumbasses and need to be punished.
 
2004-07-10 11:46:11 AM
Englewood Police to anounce new cat patrols intended to search out and destroy all laser pointing devices that could possibly cause their paranoid citizens to break out into a paranoid frenzy of self-destruction.

 
2004-07-10 11:47:30 AM
Heh.

My brother targeted his cop neighbour's fridge once, while the guy was in the kitchen.

The cop's response? He trained a couple of bajillion-candle spots through my brother's front window and gave him a huge headache.

Now THAT'S funny.
 
2004-07-10 11:48:43 AM
The devices are not illegal, but police confiscated them anyway.

So, taking them from the boys would be illegal, even though the prank was stupid.
 
2004-07-10 11:52:05 AM
real snipers use lasers that project light in the ultra violet range so people cant see the dots.
 
2004-07-10 11:58:14 AM
2004-07-10 10:38:59 AM RoachAC

I personally find it hilarious how even the most unimportant, useless person will immediately think that they have become a target for a secret government sniper unit at the drop of a hat.
I blame Hollywood.

My thoughts exactly!
 
2004-07-10 12:01:49 PM
One of the teens was quoted as saying "You can have my laser pointer when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!"
 
2004-07-10 12:06:29 PM
Potato_chip.... please show me a sniper rifle equipped with a laser sight. Laser is no good for accuracy at 'sniper' ranges, usually in the 600yard-1500yard range.
 
Ral
2004-07-10 12:21:57 PM
If they were genuinely trying to arouse anxiety or excite or terrorize anybody, then it would be chargeable offense," said Det. Perry Schellpfeffer. "The investigation is still continuing but it looks as though they were just out having fun."

The two are not mutually exclusive.

Oh come on. I did stuff like this as a kid. It was all an overreaction by a bunch of morons, and then compounded by some 'witnesses' in a trailer park, probably nosy old people and drunk trailer trash.

We live in a post-911 world, dumbass. Times have changed.
 
2004-07-10 12:30:49 PM
I told you I was hardcore.
 
2004-07-10 12:37:39 PM
I'm sure that the Patriot Act give your government the right to perform a cavity search and tap your phone if they suspect that you may be in possession of a device that emits light.
 
2004-07-10 12:40:30 PM
damitjim,

I don't know if it would work as a laser sight, but ThinkGeek.com now sells a green laser pointer with a two-mile range.
 
2004-07-10 12:46:47 PM
2004-07-10 12:40:30 PM Keola [TotalFark]


ThinkGeek.com now sells a green laser pointer with a two-mile range.


I've done presentations in some big rooms, but that's just silly!
 
2004-07-10 12:47:34 PM
Keola, As a sight, laser is static(close quarters) usually set for a distance of about 12-25 feet. A sniper's target range varies, therefore a laser is not effecient. This is why most snipers have a spotter, to help calculate things like distance, windage and elevation.

In reference to the 'ultra violet laser' these are usually used for 'painting' a target so air support can see it and drop laser guided bombs. I blame Hollywood.

/just saying
 
2004-07-10 12:47:44 PM
RoachAC

...will immediately think that they have become a target for a secret government sniper unit at the drop of a hat.

I don't think the guy thought it had anything to do with the government - a copycat from previous random hitting sniper-on-the-loose incidents, maybe...
 
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