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(AP)   Missing marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now in Lebanon but which that time was a hoax -- is now in Germany   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 131
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7565 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2004 at 3:44 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-07-09 03:36:37 PM
Finally.
A ___________wants____________ cliche worth a chuckle
 
2004-07-09 03:47:09 PM
We need to start taking pictures of this guy with a lawn gnome.
 
2004-07-09 03:47:13 PM
my head asplode

/never get here this early in the comments
 
2004-07-09 03:47:15 PM
Is he like Carmen Sandiego or something?
 
2004-07-09 03:47:20 PM
That headline needs to stop....
 
2004-07-09 03:47:21 PM
Well, all right!
 
2004-07-09 03:47:33 PM
How much more can we possibly say on this subject?
 
2004-07-09 03:47:38 PM
I am thoroughly confused.

a) This looks like an exact replica of the last headline.
2) I didn't see that cliche anywhere.
 
2004-07-09 03:47:52 PM
poor guy. first islamists and now people that will take a dump on him while playing hasselhoff as loud as the stereo can handle.
 
2004-07-09 03:48:27 PM
And they all lived happily ever after.

The end
 
2004-07-09 03:48:37 PM
How many people with the surname "Hassoun" are involved in this. :bulb:

/Skimmed TFA
 
2004-07-09 03:48:38 PM
This would have made a great Monty Python sketch.
 
2004-07-09 03:49:09 PM
This guy needs to get together with Waldo.
 
2004-07-09 03:49:20 PM
That headline is dumb
Hope it's not a new cliche
I like big boobies
 
2004-07-09 03:49:39 PM
I'm about to take this guy hostage myself just to end all this nonsense once and for all.
 
2004-07-09 03:49:47 PM
HaywoodJablonski
a) it was. (beirut --> germany)
b) was "your marine wants airmiles"
 
2004-07-09 03:49:54 PM
Sorry, Germans, no head cheese for you.
 
2004-07-09 03:50:26 PM
He's alive right? That's what's important.

As for the rest... /yawn
 
2004-07-09 03:50:56 PM
This was a better article back when it was still yesterday.
 
2004-07-09 03:51:05 PM
You know, everything about this story makes me think that pretty soon i'm going to wake up in bed, find Patrick Duffy coming out of the shower and realise the last two seasons have been a bad dream...
 
2004-07-09 03:51:09 PM
Missing marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now in Lebanon but which that time was a hoax, then in Germany, then taking a crap, then not taking a crap, then not washing his hands afterwords but then washed his hands afterwords at dinner then went to bed then wasn't in bed anymore and then was in the shower but was not in the shower anymore then sat and watched some TV but didn't understand German but then did understand German is now not watching TV and is eating in a resturaunt with some friends who weren't his friends before they met but are now his friends.
 
2004-07-09 03:51:10 PM
That guy is a coward and a deserter.

Some scatophile German poet oughta roger him arseways.
 
2004-07-09 03:51:16 PM
Farking asshat.
- 1 pts for taking the 'head' out of be'head'ing.
 
2004-07-09 03:51:24 PM
puckhead

Thanks. In that case, shouldn't the headline be: "Missing marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now in Lebanon but which that time was a hoax and then went to Beirut -- Is now in Germany?"
 
2004-07-09 03:52:14 PM
Hi.....welcome to yesterdays news, brought to you...tommorow.
 
2004-07-09 03:52:19 PM
... next stop, Disneyland!
 
2004-07-09 03:53:43 PM
Beheading World Tour 2004 !!!
7/1 Iraq
7/4 Lebanon
7/9 Germany
7/10-15 TBA
 
2004-07-09 03:54:28 PM
It's spelled Marine, not marine, asshole.
 
2004-07-09 03:55:04 PM
If you're thinking what I'm thinking you're thinking that I'm thinking then you're thinking that I'm thinking that you're thinking that I'm thinking that the reference to Carmen San Diego was farking hilarious.

/nothing
 
2004-07-09 03:55:28 PM
Next up - he becomes... a stapler!!
 
2004-07-09 03:56:22 PM
It will be interesting to see what happens to this guy. If he didn't desert, he's going right back to his unit in Iraq. If he did desert, he'll be court martialed and probably sent to Ft. Leavenworth (the jail part, not the base part, although the jail is on the base there...)

What's the penalty for desertion during wartime? Oh that's right: death.

So this headline is entirely possible at some point in the future (although I'm sure it will be longer than this by then):

Missing marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now in Lebanon but which that time was a hoax, flown to Germany, court martialed, sentenced to death, executed by the US Government.
 
2004-07-09 03:57:17 PM
Well. Most marines *are* assholes.
 
2004-07-09 03:57:32 PM
 
2004-07-09 03:57:41 PM
Will he be showering anytime soon?
 
2004-07-09 03:57:48 PM
It's spelled Marine, not marine, asshole.
Um, same spelling dumbass. He made a grammatical mistake.
 
2004-07-09 03:58:33 PM
The Uncredible Skulk

You have a thinking problem. I hear there's a twelve step program for that.
 
2004-07-09 03:58:41 PM
Wish he was my Dad...

My Dad was a missing marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now in Lebanon but which that time was a hoax -- is now in Germany, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt!
 
2004-07-09 03:59:12 PM
I know it's been done to death, but . . .

I can't tell you who exactly he is,
Or where exactly he went.

But he said he really likes Spelunking
And he left on a plane with a red, blue, and green flag on its wing.

Good luck, gumshoe.
 
2004-07-09 03:59:17 PM
I don't know BigDumbViking, but I did the ol' copy and paste and got a document not found.
 
2004-07-09 03:59:25 PM
Someone put a tracking collar on this guy and make sure he doesn't glue it to a cat. Geez. Next thing you know Al-Jazeera is going to show pictures of him blindfolded on the International Space Station, being held hostage by Space Jihadis, demanding that the US withdraw all vehicles and satellites above the Mesosphere.
 
2004-07-09 03:59:36 PM
As if my coworkers didn't already know I'm nuts, they do now. I'm laughing my ass off sitting here.
Headline writer deserves an award!
 
2004-07-09 03:59:38 PM
If I ever see this guy in person I'm going to kick has ass simply for causing these annoying headlines.
 
2004-07-09 03:59:55 PM
Puckhead: "Your Marine wants air miles." hahahahahahahaha (gasp).

Great line!
 
2004-07-09 04:01:04 PM
BigDumbViking, last I heard the UN had confiscated it when the US tried to move it out of the country, claiming that it was property of Iraq.

Funny, but what was Iraq doing with a bunch of partially enriched Uranium in the first place and what good would it do them? It's not like we're stealing a vital resource from them.
 
2004-07-09 04:01:15 PM
I've got the story link saved to my email account and it works fine. I'll go get the story and copy and paste it here. Be right back....
 
2004-07-09 04:02:06 PM
The story about the nuclear material removed from Iraq is real. CNN covered it yesterday I think. Can't explain why they're keeping it so quiet....
 
2004-07-09 04:03:01 PM
I'm sick of this story and this guy.The part of me thats going to hell wishes they would of lopped off his melon.
End of story no more headlines.
 
2004-07-09 04:04:30 PM
I'm so sick of this guy. He can fark off.
 
2004-07-09 04:07:09 PM
Wait a second? Tuwaitha nuclear complex was looted by civilians? Damn.

"Hey look, Achmed! You can fry an egg on this heavy metal rod without heating it! Mmm, eggs!"
 
2004-07-09 04:07:17 PM
Lewis

You have a thinking problem. I hear there's a twelve step program for that.

Yes It's called TA: Thinkers Anonymous. Every Friday night I tell my wife, "I'm going out for some T&A."

"OK dear, here's the $20 in singles so you can buy twenty raffle tickets."

"Thanks, you're the best!"
 
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