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(CNN)   Missing marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now in Lebanon but which that time was a hoax -- is now sitting in a U.S. Embassy in Beirut. Maybe   (cnn.com) divider line 219
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12590 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jul 2004 at 1:02 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-07-08 01:13:25 PM
you'rewelcomethatis
 
2004-07-08 01:13:53 PM
Soooo.... what now? He's dead? Does he want welfare? Are we making a movie out of this? Probably to be directed by Oliver Stone or David Lynch?
 
2004-07-08 01:14:15 PM
We found out my sister was lebanese when she started dating other women.....
 
2004-07-08 01:14:29 PM


caliban_02, Lebanese, you say?
 
2004-07-08 01:15:23 PM
What I find strange is that this Marine is from Utah, and not the Detroit area. Guess the Mormons are in for a surprise when they knock on his front door.
 
2004-07-08 01:15:44 PM
Missing marine shot to death by tongue-tied anchors. Film at 11.
 
2004-07-08 01:15:44 PM
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
 
2004-07-08 01:16:07 PM
I have been reading so much philosophy that this headline was easy. heh.
 
2004-07-08 01:16:37 PM
At this point I wouldn't be surprised if the US Ambassador beheaded this guy.
 
2004-07-08 01:16:52 PM
My cat's breath smells like my cat's butt

/if you ask my cat, that is
 
2004-07-08 01:17:25 PM
Seems like the Audrey Seiler Fan Club has gone international since she won the Midwest Regional Hide N Seek Competition
 
2004-07-08 01:17:25 PM
Crown Of Negativity

That's nowhere near ironic!

/joking
/must... beat.... ironic Nazis.
 
Azr
2004-07-08 01:17:39 PM
am i the only one tired of hearing about this guy
 
2004-07-08 01:18:10 PM
Also:



"I'm Lebanese! We're full of the juices of life!"
 
2004-07-08 01:18:15 PM
Pffft...I submitted this with a really stupid headline.
 
2004-07-08 01:18:26 PM
The U.S. media and Government has been PUNK'D !!!!
 
2004-07-08 01:18:30 PM
fisherman62, really. I bet this guy's family is going to be pissed at him.
 
2004-07-08 01:18:30 PM
Wholly inadequate headline. Here is mine:

Missing Marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, Not kidnapped but lured by harlot and then kidnapped, Not kidnapped but but went voluntarily, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now and Lebanon which but this time was a hoax - is now sitting in a US Embassy in Beirut (officials say)

Got to love those harlots!
 
2004-07-08 01:18:38 PM
Sounds like a typical day at the office to me.
 
2004-07-08 01:19:11 PM
I'd Like the David Lynch version of the story,
with his clever editing, and ability to remove all logic and plot from anything he films... this story might begin to make some sense
 
2004-07-08 01:19:29 PM
Petition To Finally Behead This Farker

please sign and forward to your congressperson
 
2004-07-08 01:20:07 PM
At least this whole missing soldier stuff is taking headlines away from unfahrenhype 911.
 
2004-07-08 01:20:17 PM
Beirut... I thought Lou Gehrig was a better fielder
 
2004-07-08 01:20:19 PM
fisherman62
*****************
Warren Zevon rules!!
I have nothing else to add to the thread, thankyoueverymuch!
 
2004-07-08 01:20:20 PM
Since when is getting away from your captors a bad thing? Did the Pentagon question the white contract worker Thomas Hammil over how he escaped or do we just assuse the dark skinned people of selling out?

I remember watching a special on POWs (back in Gulf War I) Former POWs said tell the captors what they want or even make up shiat to tell them. Read their retarded statements, everyone watching it will know you were under duress. Just keep alive until you can be released or rescued.
 
2004-07-08 01:21:08 PM
2004-07-08 01:19:11 PM suffra

But David Lynch's work is so deep!
 
2004-07-08 01:21:14 PM
Headline writer:
 
2004-07-08 01:22:00 PM
CIA plot to foster support for continued Iraq occupation?

/shiver at that thought
 
2004-07-08 01:22:22 PM
I didn't realize the US Embassy in Beirut had reopened.

/1983
 
2004-07-08 01:22:30 PM
Missing Marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now in Lebanon which but this time was a hoax - is now sitting in a US Embassy in Beirut, had escaped after removing electronic monitor and gluing it to a cat.

/something like that.
 
2004-07-08 01:22:55 PM
2004-07-08 01:19:29 PM fisherman62
Petition To Finally Behead This Farker
please sign and forward to your congressperson


Maybe not the dumbest thing I've ever you post, but certainly the most recent.
 
2004-07-08 01:22:58 PM
Just shoot this guy and get it over with, he is taking up too many farking greenlights
 
2004-07-08 01:23:25 PM
This headline sponsored by:



ASPIRIN: The cure for your confusing-headline-induced headaches since 1917 (when they had to take heroin off the market)
 
2004-07-08 01:23:41 PM
Then, I am happy and sad for him.

/Real Genius off
 
2004-07-08 01:23:55 PM
I'm bored with all of this stuff. We need a new war so that I have something cool to watch and eat my pizza to. Iran? N. Korea? Syria?


/just kidding - I will really be eating burgers

/kill me now
 
2004-07-08 01:24:30 PM
I'm glad my original headline spawned a copycat, but I'm sad because said copycat is unintelligible.
 
2004-07-08 01:24:47 PM
No he isn't. He's in my living room drinking a beer and watching ESPN.
 
2004-07-08 01:25:06 PM
I'm so confused.
 
2004-07-08 01:25:22 PM
Turn the ME into a glass parking lot!

/obligatory
 
2004-07-08 01:27:31 PM
Wonder where he's heading next....
 
2004-07-08 01:28:29 PM
Yeah the fisherman is always good for some dumb shiat. That ranks in the top 10.
 
2004-07-08 01:28:51 PM
Shoot his deserter ass.
 
2004-07-08 01:29:05 PM
WTF??? Me thinks this guy went AWOL, and is now looking for an excuse to get out of the military???

My mom had surgery in Beirut, back when the Lebanese liked us (1971).
 
2004-07-08 01:30:06 PM
Schroedinger's Marine, I swear to farking God.

The probability of this guy being alive or dead seems to be determined by how many news services are carrying variants of the story.

/Nearly Headless Nick unavailable for comment
 
2004-07-08 01:30:26 PM
Meh. Stick a "seen" in there. You know where it goes.
 
2004-07-08 01:30:30 PM
Huge props on the headline.
 
2004-07-08 01:30:40 PM
WayneKerr

"MissingMarinethatwaskidnapped,beheaded,notbeheaded,released,notreleased,relea sedtofamilyandnowinLebanon,releasedtofamilyandnowandLebanonwhichbutthistimewas ahoax-isnowsittinginaUSEmbassyinBeirut(officials say)"
 
2004-07-08 01:31:00 PM
 
2004-07-08 01:31:09 PM
I missed the part about the harlot

/Islamic Militant Bukkake Kitten
 
2004-07-08 01:31:45 PM
Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
 
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