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(NewsNet5)   Seven gorillas escape from enclosure at Ohio Zoo, scatter supplies, fling poo   (newsnet5.com) divider line 54
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8777 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2004 at 6:00 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-07-07 12:39:30 PM
 
2004-07-07 04:00:26 PM
get naked if i'm wrong, but arent gorillas mad strong?
like "rip your arm off and use it as a backscratcher" strong?
i wouldnt want to coax them into a cage.. they probably dont really like living there in the first place.
 
2004-07-07 04:57:36 PM
Sudie - I want that shirt.
 
2004-07-07 06:03:48 PM
Heh heh!

He said "poo".
 
2004-07-07 06:04:35 PM
ever see the movie congo? ohio's too close to PA for my taste...
 
2004-07-07 06:05:08 PM
Unfortunately, Tim Curry was slaughtered during the incident, as the zookeepers were unable to slice off enough of the gorillas' various limbs and appendages in time with their crystal-powered lasers.
 
2004-07-07 06:06:02 PM
stop eating my sesame cake.
 
2004-07-07 06:06:18 PM
moosen

Damn, I was hoping to be the 1st...
 
2004-07-07 06:07:07 PM
Wait. Now the gorillas' family are denying they have escaped.
 
2004-07-07 06:08:21 PM
Talk about your feces-throwing excitement!
 
2004-07-07 06:14:24 PM
I see, another ho hum report from GitMo... Oh, Gorillas...my bad.
 
2004-07-07 06:15:44 PM
This week, I have mostly been eating gorrilla pooh...
 
2004-07-07 06:16:12 PM
Big gorilla at the L.A. Zoo
Snatched the glasses right off my face
Took the keys to my BMW
Left me here to take his place

I wish the ape a lot of success
I'm sorry my apartment's a mess
Most of all I'm sorry if I made you blue
I'm betting the gorilla will, too

They say Jesus will find you wherever you go
But when He'll come looking for you, they don't know
In the mean time, keep your profile low
Gorilla, you're a desperado

He built a house on an acre of land
He called it Villa Gorilla Now
I hear he's getting divorced
Laying low at L'Ermitage, of course

Then the ape grew very depressed
Went through Transactional Analysis
He plays racquetball and runs in the rain
Still he's shackled to a platinum chain

Big gorilla at the L.A. Zoo
Snatched the glasses right off my face
Took the keys to my BMW
Left me here to take his place


/Zevon
 
2004-07-07 06:16:42 PM
NY Post:

7 gorillas slated to be Kerry's running mates, escaped from Ohio zoo, found murdered on Sam Donaldson's private beach.
 
2004-07-07 06:17:33 PM
2 stories in a row about Bush?
 
2004-07-07 06:17:36 PM
I've been there.....it's great seeing the silverback scare the shiat out of little kids and teenyboppers.
 
2004-07-07 06:18:19 PM
Dr.Knockboots yeah, they can shred you if they want, especially large males...but they don't tend to be aggressive, except defending their young. I would guess zoo-raised ones would be pretty friendly.

Remember the kid who fell into a gorilla cage a few years back and one of the females picked him up and held him until zookeepers came to get him?
 
2004-07-07 06:20:54 PM
gorillas are smarter than most liberals
 
2004-07-07 06:20:58 PM
And what were these monkeys doing out of their cage...?

...

 
2004-07-07 06:21:27 PM
This one time (but not in band camp) I almost got clocked by a chimp with a piece of melon rind. True story.
 
2004-07-07 06:22:10 PM
NY POST

US Marine Housson back in captivity in Columbus Ohio. Family denies knowing him.
 
2004-07-07 06:22:28 PM
This is Jack Hanna's doing, rehearsing for the next Letterman appearance.
 
2004-07-07 06:25:19 PM
I'm just remembering the gorilla scene from the end of Trading Places.
 
2004-07-07 06:26:22 PM
About three hours after the escape, the gorillas were coaxed back into their outdoor habitat.


"Coaxed" = Stun guns and cattle prods.
 
2004-07-07 06:26:48 PM
I think Im sophisticated
cos Im living my life like a good homo sapien
But all around me everybodys multiplying
Till theyre walking round like flies man
So Im no better than the animals sitting in their cages
In the zoo man
cos compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees
I am an ape man
I think Im so educated and Im so civilized
cos Im a strict vegetarian
But with the over-population and inflation and starvation
And the crazy politicians
I dont feel safe in this world no more
I dont want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore and make like an ape man
Im an ape man, Im an ape ape man
Im an ape man Im a king kong man Im ape ape man
Im an ape man
cos compared to the sun that sits in the sky
Compared to the clouds as they roll by
Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies
I am an ape man
In mans evolution he has created the cities and
The motor traffic rumble, but give me half a chance
And Id be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle
cos the only time that I feel at ease
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree
Oh what a life of luxury to be like an ape man
Im an ape, Im an ape ape man, Im an ape man
Im a king kong man, Im a voo-doo man
Im an ape man
I look out my window, but I cant see the sky
cos the air pollution is fogging up my eyes
I want to get out of this city alive
And make like an ape man
Come and love me, be my ape man girl
And we will be so happy in my ape man world
Im an ape man, Im an ape ape man, Im an ape man
Im a king kong man, Im a voo-doo man
Im an ape man
Ill be your tarzan, youll be my jane
Ill keep you warm and youll keep me sane
And well sit in the trees and eat bananas all day
Just like an ape man
Im an ape man, Im an ape ape man, Im an ape man
Im a king kong man, Im a voo-doo man
Im an ape man.
I dont feel safe in this world no more
I dont want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an ape man.
 
2004-07-07 06:27:38 PM
pig semen and gorilla poo

/eagerly awaits the trifecta
 
2004-07-07 06:34:16 PM
... in related news, Tarzan, self-proclamined "Lord of the Jungle" was seen in the vicinity around the time of the escape.

/"Let my people go!"
 
2004-07-07 06:35:39 PM
Dip me in shiat and roll me in cracker crumbs!
Nightsweat, is that a Kinks song?

/tripping at concert, can't remember anything but lights....lottsa lights
 
2004-07-07 06:39:39 PM
Zoo officials dismissed the concern over the escape, saying "When winter rolls around, they'll simply freeze to death. That's the beauty of it."
 
2004-07-07 06:39:50 PM
Czechsmix
"gorillas are smarter than most liberals"

Yeah, cuz conservatives just eat their poo.
 
2004-07-07 06:42:38 PM
TxRabbit

im sure most gorrillas could rid the world of tyrrants, just liek su poo-eating republicans
 
2004-07-07 06:46:39 PM
andonbray

http://www.skullcats.com/iflpooteesh.html
 
2004-07-07 07:10:07 PM
Oh, Thank god. If they had flung supplies and scattered poo, this would be much more tragic.
 
2004-07-07 07:10:10 PM
Yep, it's the Kinks.
 
2004-07-07 07:24:42 PM
This one time at the L.A. zoo a monkey splooged in my Stepmother's hair! I still laugh about it.That monkey was just flapping away and he let loose,the look on her face was priceless!!!!

/true story!
 
2004-07-07 07:27:19 PM
Was Fark just farked, or was it me? I call monkeyshines!
 
2004-07-07 07:32:17 PM
What the heck is it with all these gorillas gettin' out and walking around? Is it a new Fortean phenomenom?
 
2004-07-07 07:33:41 PM
I'd hit it!
 
2004-07-07 07:37:34 PM
But why only 5'2"?
 
2004-07-07 07:58:31 PM
This happened with the orangutans at the Jackson (MS) Zoo last year. They got into the service room behind the exhibit and tore down all the light fixtures, ripped out all the pvc plumbing and generaly trashed the place. Probably out of boredom more than violence. Large primates scare me because they really are smart and powerful.
 
2004-07-07 07:59:39 PM
pig semen and gorilla poo
Multi-species Santorum
 
2004-07-07 08:17:53 PM
"Well, well... Another blond hair...Conducting a little more 'Research' with that Jane Goodall tramp?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Goodall
 
2004-07-07 08:21:24 PM
Grimey - Great! Great!

/Now I'll be saying that all night.
 
2004-07-07 08:22:46 PM
my mom won second place in a poo flinging contest years ago. those primemates are hard to beat at their game.
 
2004-07-07 08:29:45 PM
Tressel threatens to revoke scholarships unless they show-up for practice tomorrow.
 
2004-07-07 08:32:34 PM
 
2004-07-07 09:18:48 PM
Gotta love Columbus, seems like there's a story about our fine city at least once a week.
 
2004-07-07 09:28:16 PM
Uuhhhhh... them monkeys is smart!

And this message is just for the kids:

Hiya keeds!
 
2004-07-07 09:52:20 PM
Drat! My simian bretheren foiled again. Well, we will have our time. WE WILL HAVE OUR TIME!!!
 
2004-07-07 09:56:26 PM
That is kinda scary...a silverback escaped here in Dallas and hurt some people. IMO, I think he was just playing with the people; could've been so much worse.

/Jabari = pWn3d
 
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