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(Telegraph)   The Paris Hiltons of History   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 62
    More: Amusing  
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55570 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2004 at 8:15 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-07-06 03:24:15 PM
What a beautiful headline. Respect.
 
2004-07-06 04:03:10 PM
The discovery is the result of a three-year joint

No kidding
 
2004-07-06 04:13:24 PM
And the award for beautifuly subtle headline goes to...
 
2004-07-06 05:39:44 PM
.. and the most important artifact was a grainy, black-and-green fresco depicting one of them in a sacred ritual..
 
2004-07-06 08:19:18 PM
That's a great idea!
 
2004-07-06 08:20:23 PM
Hurry up with the pic's!
 
2004-07-06 08:23:10 PM
Archeologists were shocked at the finding of several engraved stone tablets inscribed with
" Paris upis skirtus peekus boo" nearby and in large quantites, thought to have been shared and abused frequently by large sections of the community

/closes eyes and wishes for total fark status
 
2004-07-06 08:25:32 PM
"a three-year joint project"? thats one big-ass joint.
 
2004-07-06 08:26:12 PM
Sacred prostitution, eh? Perhaps that would solve the declining church attendance problem..
 
2004-07-06 08:26:29 PM
"sacred prostitution"? how does that work, they do the priest from the area temples? The priests are known as Temple Pimps.
 
2004-07-06 08:26:35 PM
good headline, actually makes one rtfa.
 
2004-07-06 08:29:00 PM


Nice job, submitter. Very nice.
 
2004-07-06 08:29:12 PM
Her 15 minutes were up about an hour ago. Maybe if we ignore her ugly ass, she'll go away.
 
2004-07-06 08:29:56 PM
Nice.
 
2004-07-06 08:31:46 PM
Actually sacred prostitution is mentioned in the Bible and Gilgamesh. Its not quite as it sounds. More fertility rights and such mostly. The priest/king/etc acted the part of the god or the prositute acted as the goddes and the community in the form of the priest had sex with her to have a fertile year...not quite as good as it sounds, although wouldnt be too bad of a job for the priest :)
 
2004-07-06 08:33:11 PM
Where are the ancient pics scrawled on papyrus?
Can someone post a link?
 
2004-07-06 08:35:03 PM
Where do I sign up for the service of my great lord?

Do you think if I start a new congregation, that a volcano will smite my people?
 
2004-07-06 08:35:21 PM
another historical porn note:

One of my history teachers told us the history of porn in my High School days (which was a big hit for the class). Apparently Ponography comes from Porno+Graphia and refers to the writings and later pictoral descriptions that prostitutes got on tax stamps, or whatever the greeks used....wonder what they looked like.
 
2004-07-06 08:38:15 PM
I thought for sure that article was gonna be about Zsa Zsa Gabor.
 
2004-07-06 08:39:20 PM
If this headline was a gay man, and if I was from Massachusetts, I'd amrry it.
 
2004-07-06 08:45:53 PM
If this headline was a liberal "man", and it was from Massachusetts, I wouldn't vote for it :P
 
2004-07-06 08:48:41 PM
i think she's bangin'
 
2004-07-06 08:52:46 PM
at least Zsa Zsa was easy on the eyes... not to be mean but Paris looks like a wet noodle with arms and legs. Not to mention that dumb look she always has on her face. I see at least 10 girls who are more attractive on a daily basis.
 
2004-07-06 08:57:41 PM
not to be mean but Paris looks like a wet noodle with arms and legs

I'll be mean - she looks like a thoroughly-used hooker!

/subtle link back to subject matter!
 
2004-07-06 08:59:01 PM
The article describes a sophisticated society - where does Paris Hilton fit in?
 
2004-07-06 09:11:55 PM
Another great reason why the ancients were way better off. I'd have LIKED to be living in ancient Rome or whatever... but noo, I'm stuck in this time and place instead. Hmph.

What? No Internet back then? Fark that.
 
2004-07-06 09:16:41 PM
this reminds me of the davnici code, if i hear sacred femanine one more time my head is going to explode. Good book though btw.
 
2004-07-06 09:19:56 PM
Am I the only one who thinks Jessica Simpson also fits the "fresh as a crackwhore at sunrise" phrase, right along with Paris and Courtney Love?
 
2004-07-06 09:21:49 PM
Add Mary Davis to that list Grevados
 
2004-07-06 09:23:41 PM
That headline is more accurate than I think the submitter knew, as Pompeii was a rich nobility resort, full of debaucery and depravity. I went there last summer, and in the ruins of the brothels, the plaster frescoes depic various sexual acts ... like on on-the-well picture menu. What a great idea!

And, in perhaps the funniest bit of architecture I've ever seen, there are cobblestone that 'point' to the brothels:
http://www.time-travellers.org/Historian/Rome2001/rome043.jpg
(NSFW) no html, sorry.

Its comforting to know that in the last several thousand years, from ancient cobblestones to those blank pages in the back of a math book, sophomoric drawings of weiners look exactally the same.
 
2004-07-06 09:31:08 PM
ugh?

I work too much....
 
2004-07-06 09:32:29 PM
HyperGoose..... Brilliant
 
2004-07-06 09:37:38 PM
"sacred prostitution" as a rite of passage to full womanhood.

It's a surprise this practice has stopped! Our modern religions could use a bit more of this, I'd concider church more often.
 
2004-07-06 09:49:01 PM
Pornography? Man, I don't even have a pornograph anymore...
 
2004-07-06 09:50:30 PM
In the words of Sid James as Mark Antony:

Blimus!
 
2004-07-06 09:54:44 PM
okay, okay, everyone calm down. Its called 'temple prostitution' but that's cuz they dont have any better term for the practise. No money was exchanged as far as i know. Basically, a girl upon reaching Menarche, went to a temple of aphrodite or realted goddess and made herself look pretty. At ceratin times, the temple would be open to men, who would choose a young maiden and 'intorduce her to womanhood.' Generally, girls were introduced by friends of the family, or at least someone they knew. The girls couldnt go back home until someone had chosen them.
Its a rather degrading practice by modern terms, but it want inhumanly so, and was nothing like modern prostitution.
 
2004-07-06 09:58:11 PM
Thats not to say that real prostitution didnt exist, or that there werent actual BROTHELS! god knows roman brothels are a sight to behold. My last post only refers to the practice called 'temple prostitution'.
 
2004-07-06 09:59:01 PM
From the article

'The temple complex includes a sanctuary where it is thought girls from good families worked briefly in "sacred prostitution" as a rite of passage to full womanhood.'

comedy gold
 
2004-07-06 10:08:30 PM
Comments of "I'd hitvs that" in 3...2...
 
2004-07-06 10:10:19 PM
-------------------------------------------------------
2004-07-06 09:54:44 PM halfjack

okay, okay, everyone calm down. Its called 'temple prostitution' but that's cuz they dont have any better term for the practise. No money was exchanged as far as i know. Basically, a girl upon reaching Menarche, went to a temple of aphrodite or realted goddess and made herself look pretty. At ceratin times, the temple would be open to men, who would choose a young maiden and 'intorduce her to womanhood.' Generally, girls were introduced by friends of the family, or at least someone they knew. The girls couldnt go back home until someone had chosen them.
Its a rather degrading practice by modern terms, but it want inhumanly so, and was nothing like modern prostitution.
-------------------------------------------------------

How DARE you use historical facts to destroy my fantasy in which I go back in time, impress the Pompeiians with my Casio wristwatch, trade it in for a fortune, show up at the temple doors, and pay my way to the front of the line to be the first to deflower the Pompeii equivalent of Jessica Alba!

/have to fap harder now
//kidding obviously...sort of
 
2004-07-06 10:18:31 PM
Did the ancient Romans engage in these depraved acts under cover of night vision? Weird.

And, on a completely different topic, can we, as a society, please put a moratorium on news about Paris Hilton? I loved this headline, but actual stories about that particular dum-cumpster need to stop. Please, let's never talk about her again. Also Courtney Love, Jessica Simpson, et al.
 
2004-07-06 10:38:25 PM
i second the motion introduced by the venerable Solve_Et_Coagula, and not just because his/her alias is really cool.
 
2004-07-06 10:40:54 PM
You have discovered the true essence of the Pax Romana.


Hail Gaius Julius Octavius!
 
2004-07-06 11:24:28 PM
Speaking of Paris Hilton in History...do you think she and her sister are Zsa Zsa and Eva Gabor reincarnated? All 4 of them were more famous for being famous than anything else.
 
2004-07-06 11:28:45 PM
But Solve_Et_Coagula, what would all those employees of People and Entertainment Tonight do for a living? :)
 
2004-07-07 12:13:32 AM
Reminds me of Lenny Bruce in Christians and Jews bit.

priest 1: I'm giving 10 goats to the Lord.
priest 2: I'm giving 100 goats to the Lord. What are you giving to the Lord, Paul?
Paul: How about this. f-u-c-k-n-o-m-o-r-e.
priests: WHAT!!

/paraphrased.
 
2004-07-07 12:26:58 AM
although wouldnt be too bad of a job for the priest :)
And here comes the Priest!!
 
2004-07-07 12:46:20 AM
Haha I got FILTER'D!
 
2004-07-07 12:50:40 AM
Isn't Britney Spears just famous for being famous? Let's list what she's good for:

1. Singing? Of course not. Listen to "Toxic" and that latest one where she dies in the video. Awful, nasal, husky, monotone voice. I'm not saying I can sing better than that, but I'm not making millions as a singer, am I?

2. Dancing? Sure, I'll give her that. But then again, so can her backup dancers.

3. Looks? Look at her goddamn face. She has a parking lot between her eyes, and needs raccoon makeup and slutty clothes to look worthy of being on TV. I'm not saying I'm better looking, but then again, I'm not on any magazine covers.

4. Writing? How many of her songs has she written? I think she wrote the lyrics to one of the tracks on her second album where she's basically reading a letter, or something. It wasn't a hit.

5. Creative decisions? I dunno who calls the shots in her enterprise, but they're not even good ones. Controversial to dumb people, but not creative. So she made out with her skank predecessor. Ooh, shocking. Anyone can bring attention to themselves by being slutty and making out with other slutty chicks.

6. Working hard? Sure, I'll give her that, but you have to work hard to stay famous anyway.

Bottom line: I dunno how this thing got off the ground, but it all seems like one giant, carefully orchestrated technicality. As in, someone (probably not her) predicted what could gather the most attention in a sustainable manner without actually requiring any talent, and executed. Then that latest video depicts the media in a bad light. Even though if there were no media, she'd be nobody, because she has no talent. Dumb ho.
 
2004-07-07 02:40:33 AM
Sure.
Star in one video sucking-off Jupiter and suddenly you're the temple prostitute.
 
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