Despite the tragedy, Clausen was in high spirits. If that is the worst thing that ever happens to me, then I am in pretty good shape. Accidents sometimes happen, especially when you are dealing with dumb-ass teenagers.

Reed felt terrible about the incident. I love my granny (Clausen) and feel horrible about what happened. Next time I mess with fireworks I am going to make sure there arent any old people around.

these two paragraphs, and the key lines involved made this story worth reading

When I was in drum corps far too many years ago, there was a big park across the street from the crack neighborhood high school we were staying at in Atlanta for finals. So after finals, a bunch of us took the plastic bottle rockets we bought from Janesville, WI and had a little war in the park. Was damn fun until the cops showed up. Fortunately nobody got busted and we just went back to the school to finish drinking.

/good times

Bottle rocket tag was popular on my block.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball .

Everyone keeps complaining about the articles of fark. If you dont like it go and make your own website. And make sure you site is perfect and the comunity is great because thats what I think about fark.

I'm not sure why people don't read a little bit before posting something...

There are still those who don't understand this is fake... and there are still those that feel the need to explain it 100 times...

What the fark...?!

Please read a little before you post.

I don't know, sremorse. My mom is a granny and she says "dumbass" quite a bit. Along with some other choice sailor-type words. She is a firecracker of a lady, my ma. And she can cook, too. I aspire to be like her if I grow up.

I declare Shenanigans, Shenanigans!

Next time I mess with fireworks I am going to make sure there arent any old people around.

Methinks that this kid has failed to learn the lesson. Next year we'll see him in the news again. A 20something year old bystander will have been blinded or otherwise maimed. But to Reed's credit, no old people will have been injured.

Who the fark plays dodge with bottle rockets, anyway!? They're too unpredicatable. You're supposed to play dodge with Roman candles. At least those are somewhat aimable and you can actually see the ball coming toward you.

Shenanigans or not, I miss being young and having bottle rocket fights. We also had a few really funny hay bale barrier fires as a result.

Oh, and I agree that roman candles are much better.

/Good times

Everyone knows that old people's toes are made of the most fragile porcelain, and can break easily.

As kids we used to cut the ends off of yellow whiffle ball bats and use them to launch the bottle rockets...at each other.

/good times

You know its satire when it says a bottle rocket took off a toe. Class C is good but not that good.

Wow, that's the most horrible tragic story I think I've ever read. I wonder if it's true. I mean, how could something so tragic really happen? Oh the humanity!

My sides are still hurting from already being amused by this article, then reading the 'Next time I mess with fireworks I'll make sure no old people are around!'

Classic...nothing more to say....classic.

There were never any old people around when we had bottle-rocket fights when I was a teenager because....anyone?....Buehler?...anyone?

Any responsible adult would have STOPPED us!

No wonder the old lady isn't making a stink about the whole thing...she's realizes what a dumb-ass she is for being there and letting kids shoot explosives at each other!

Geez.

Back when I was a Dead-Head I witnessed a great bottle-rocket barrage in the parking lot. A bunch of hippie chicks were in these long lines for the port-o-potties and some guys started firing scads of bottle rockets that were exploding a few feet above their heads. The girls were so freaked out, screaming and running in circles but not wanting to lose their place in line and trying not to piss themselves. It was total mayhem.

Simply hilarious!

indiana........figures.

meh, she's got 9 other toes, she'll be okie dokie

If this would have happened at PURDUE, This numbnutt would be thrown off campus.
They know enginering there.
ask N.A.S.A.
That is where they come from.

Feh, we played dodge-lawn-dart when I was that age.

Our Bottle Rocket wars involved a couple people on the ground, a couple people on top of the house. The rules were if you on the roof and you got hit (or fell off dodging) you had to switch.

Anyways, Has there been a photoshop with Patches O'Houlihan throwin that wrench yet? If not, I say it could be a good one.

It's not a real site. The "dumb-ass teenages" site was the give-away for me.

That said, bottle-rocket tag on golfcarts using capguns is great fun.

Duck=
shiat.

K: Duck0doo-doo

Game much more exciting using a dozen or more at a time in a bottle, rubberband together by fuse only.

help harry's hemmoraging hopfully he has hot has't hardly had his hit holly

You guys have never played "July Siege" have you? Similar to "dodge the rocket" but you also get a couple mortar shots for each team. When you heard a "whuump" you knew you'd better find some cover quick.

Christ, I stuck a fountain in the 5.25" bays of an old computer, causing it to catch on fire. Then, brought it into an alley and blew the thing to smithereens with an M-80. And I didn't lose any body parts. If you lose body parts from bottle rockets, you're seriously uncoordinated.

We played wiffleball with roman candles and a wiffleball bat yesterday, it was fun but scary, those things come at you really fast, i'll post the pics when my friend sends 'em.

Wil Wheaton should feel better now.

Patches O'Hoolihan unavailable for comment?

/late

I lost a toe on July 4th, 1989. That was the day I ate my first skunk.

Tragedy? Meh...

In Peoria, there was a kid who put a M-100 under a fire hydrant cap (heavy metal screw on thingy) to see how high it would go...it hit him in the forehead and eye, almost killing him.

Your toe a splode?

smitty112485 and elektronic


BRAVO!


/giggles

My fondest childhood memory....neighborhood pop bottle rocket fights! ahhh the good ol days :)

Satire or not, it's a pretty fkcing funny headline.

Its Satire! How many times do you people have to get fooled?

Was station surfing on the way home from work this morning and heard 102.7 in Las Vegas reporting this as news. They even included the "quote" from the grandmother.

What's dumb is that they grounded the kid AFTER the accident. "Now, go ahead and play dodgeball with fireworks - but, for Heaven's sake, don't actually succeed or we'll ground you!"

/ounce of prevention

Your grandma ASPLODE!!!

*shudders at the use of the term "pop"*

did the poster mean soda?

Beaters:

Make: undetermined
Model: Unknown
Manufacturer: Some guy in San Felipe, Mexico
they're four feet tall, fly about a third of a mile,
and carry something bigger than an M-80. I know, we
had a bunch fall on us from a fratboy camp way far down
the beach. at three in the morning. My solution? return
fire with the same thing of course- with a little better
attention to trajectory...

You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me, there are ways, Dude.

"Next time I mess with fireworks I am going to make sure there arent any old people around"
//Wrong lesson learned dumbarse.