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(Hoosier Gazette)   Fourth of July pop-bottle rocket dodgeball game ends in tragedy   (hoosiergazette.com) divider line 106
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26789 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2004 at 8:26 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-07-05 08:29:00 PM
 
2004-07-05 08:29:34 PM
You're supposed to use Roman Candles for this.... I thought everyone knew that...
 
2004-07-05 08:29:50 PM
bogus site.
 
2004-07-05 08:29:54 PM
Despite the tragedy, Clausen was in high spirits. If that is the worst thing that ever happens to me, then I am in pretty good shape. Accidents sometimes happen, especially when you are dealing with dumb-ass teenagers.


/righteous
 
2004-07-05 08:30:53 PM
hahaah! I like that old lady.
 
2004-07-05 08:30:57 PM
Blowing of a toe is worth way more points when it is one of your grandmother's toes instead of your own.
 
2004-07-05 08:32:12 PM
 
2004-07-05 08:32:30 PM
Just because we're models doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak, fireworks fight accident.
 
2004-07-05 08:33:05 PM
"Next time I mess with fireworks I am going to make sure there arent any old people around."

You can hurt young people, it's ok.
 
2004-07-05 08:33:07 PM
You are soooo grounded!
 
2004-07-05 08:34:25 PM
the beauty of bottle rockets, is that you never know where they are gonna go
 
2004-07-05 08:34:31 PM
 
2004-07-05 08:35:12 PM
God bless the 4th of July. Endless entertainment for the masses. We need to have a 4th celebration every week. Then the action would be non-stop.

Well, the 4th has passed and I guess the stories of firework-stupidity will subside. Alas....
 
2004-07-05 08:35:44 PM
"Next time I mess with fireworks I am going to make sure there arent any old people around."

Those old people toes fall off so much easier than us youngens. It would take a mortar shell to take off my toe...
 
2004-07-05 08:36:26 PM
Hoosier. That's all I have to say.


That and: "There's no old people! Let's do it!"
 
2004-07-05 08:37:54 PM
Whistling bottle rockets with the plastic tips leave great welts. Ahhh, the days of being a dumb-arse teenager...

/Good times...
 
2004-07-05 08:37:54 PM
Watch out for thoes Jehova's witnesses in Indiana too. They're more dangerous than bottlerockets.

/Emergency warnings are getting too specific
 
2004-07-05 08:38:10 PM
the site is not real, read the other articles.
duh.
 
2004-07-05 08:38:22 PM
The story is a fake ... lol
 
2004-07-05 08:38:23 PM
I agree - looks bogus as I looked around more on it. damn they had me going there.......
 
2004-07-05 08:38:38 PM
first that rocket in the picture is no "pop bottle" rocket. also who the heck (besides the author) adds "pop" to the name?

and this accident is just that, NOT a freakin
"tragedy".
 
2004-07-05 08:38:39 PM
That's spelled d-u-m-b-a-s-s and not s-a-d.
 
2004-07-05 08:39:15 PM
There's gotta be a joke behind this somewhere. Those quotes cannot be real, and if they were they'd never get published.
 
2004-07-05 08:40:48 PM
"Accidents sometimes happen, especially when you are dealing with dumb-ass teenagers."

The all new hotness in FARK cliches.
 
2004-07-05 08:41:13 PM
I can see it now...

Kid 1: I've got a 100 pack of Saturn Missles!
Kid 2: Sweet, I've got a lighter, let's blow each other to bits in the road!
Kid 1: CRONE!
*old person slowly crosses the street in a walker*
Kid 2: GAME ON!
*kids commence to blow themselves to kingdom come*

/wants to be 17 again
 
2004-07-05 08:41:56 PM
------------------
FOR THE UNAWARE
------------------

The entire site is like many others that publishes fictional stories in the name of humor. As it says in the about column, a couple of guys in their 20s thought it would be fun to make fun of Hoosiers.

Sad thing is, the story could have been true around here..
 
2004-07-05 08:42:55 PM
Not sure where to start on this one. There was the dumbass teenager remark. Of course the guy was a honor student. He felt "bad" about it. He was grounded for a week. Where do I begin?

/thinks the grandma chews tobacco
 
2004-07-05 08:43:30 PM
If you can dodge a firework, you can dodge a ball.
 
2004-07-05 08:43:50 PM
its funny cuase i just got home from a game of firework dodgeball...
 
2004-07-05 08:46:11 PM
"honor student" draws conclusion "next time... I'll make sure there aren't any old people around." - Not "aim away from people".

Next year's headline with this idiot: "16 year old friend loses eye"
 
2004-07-05 08:46:28 PM
obviously, this is satire.
 
2004-07-05 08:47:35 PM
Granny nailed it with this line:

"Accidents sometimes happen, especially when you are dealing with dumb-ass teenagers."
 
2004-07-05 08:49:52 PM
Why does Fark Keep greenlighting these stupid mage up Hoosier Gazette stories? Besides, I submitted the same story with a funnier headline.

/had to be said
 
2004-07-05 08:50:48 PM
That story is a fake


This is real, and funny as heck

second time posting it, but great for the 4th of July.
 
2004-07-05 08:51:24 PM
if i wanted fake news i'd watch cable
 
2004-07-05 08:51:41 PM
Saturn missiles are good for suppression fire, ronintetsuro.

Not that I'd have firsthand experience with that, or roman candle baseball, or a bottlerocket war on a lake with those waterproof things as depth charges. Nope, none at all...
 
2004-07-05 08:52:55 PM
Yeah...did someone take over the 'article greenlighting' job for fark? Piss poor job, lately...
 
2004-07-05 08:53:16 PM
Even though this particular story isn't true*, it is true that the majority of fireworks injuries result from deliberate misuse.

*"The Hoosier Gazette was created by a couple of guys in their late 20s who thought it would be fun to create a website that uses fictional news stories to poke fun at the state of Indiana.", http://www.hoosiergazette.com/about.htm
 
2004-07-05 08:53:21 PM
yea we used roman candles, The big ones called festival balls are the best as far as explosive power....Can cover the inside of a poter potty with shiat in under a second...
 
2004-07-05 08:55:46 PM
A 65 year old Bloomfield woman lost a toe when a pop-bottle rocket fired by her grandson exploded on her foot

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Guess who's outta the will.
 
2004-07-05 09:00:00 PM
It might be fake, but you can't deny the obvious,

"Accidents sometimes happen, especially when you are dealing with dumb-ass teenagers."

A truer statement has never been spoken.

Amen!
 
2004-07-05 09:01:37 PM
I smelt bullshiat at the "Accidents sometimes happen, especially when you are dealing with dumb-ass teenagers." No granny would say dumbass.

Then the grounded thing was the icing.
 
2004-07-05 09:02:54 PM
A bottle roclet powerful enough to blow off granny's toe? I want the brand, product number, and dstributor. Those are the ones I want!!!
 
2004-07-05 09:04:59 PM
/me got hit twice in the chest, once in the chest and once in the leg this weekend. I kept wondering why my l33t counterstrike skills weren't doing me any good.
 
2004-07-05 09:07:24 PM
beaters:

Please keep in mind that granny may have been brittle or leprous, as so many old people are.
Instead, rely on high quality, name brand explosives.

/That is all, thanks.
 
2004-07-05 09:08:41 PM


If you can dodge a bottle rocket, you can dodge a ball.

/obligatory.
 
2004-07-05 09:09:18 PM
2004-07-05 09:01:37 PM sremorse said:

I smelt bullshiat at the "Accidents sometimes happen, especially when you are dealing with dumb-ass teenagers." No granny would say dumbass.

------------------------

You don't know my wife's granny...
 
2004-07-05 09:12:55 PM
It was a sad day a few years ago when they banned bottle rockets here in South Carolina. I'm sure dodging rockets on July 4th goes back to 1776. Anyways, I still get a yearly shipment from Tennessee..
 
2004-07-05 09:13:30 PM
I love it when Hoosier Gazette stories get posted, then despite repeated "it is a satire site" "it is not real" "it is a satire site" postings, Farkers still insist on commenting as though it is a real story.
 
2004-07-05 09:14:48 PM
You guys are gulliblllllerrrific!

he Hoosier Gazette was created by a couple of guys in their late 20s who thought it would be fun to create a website that uses fictional news stories to poke fun at the state of Indiana. We here at THG do not hate Indiana (we must like it or we would have left by now), we are just trying to make people laugh by satirizing news, culture, and events that happen in our state. If you have any questions about advertising on this site, please contact our Webmaster via email. If you like this site and would like to provide feedback on it, contact us at here. If you dont like this site, write us at our hate mail address.
 
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