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(Ultraman)   Man sues McDonald's over lack of warning against forceful burger insertion   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

42035 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2004 at 3:48 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

130 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-07-05 03:44:22 PM  
This can't be right...
2004-07-05 03:44:39 PM  
ROFL. Is this for real?
2004-07-05 03:46:35 PM  
Well, hell. If it's not good for your insides, it's not going to be any good for your outsides. Duh!
2004-07-05 03:47:52 PM  
The turdburglar strikes again.
2004-07-05 03:48:13 PM  
The Every Three Weekly is the best satire newspaper at the University of Michigan.
2004-07-05 03:50:01 PM  

From the same site:

Freud Rises From Dead, Tells World
"Sometimes Shiat's Just Pointy"

Real stories? You be the judge.
2004-07-05 03:53:44 PM  
2004-07-05 04:06:45 PM  

[image from too old to be available]
2004-07-05 04:12:54 PM  
This cant' be fake!!!!
There is a pictue of the hamburgler RIGHT THEER!!111`
2004-07-05 04:31:15 PM  
Oh, so if you trick us into reading satire you think it'll be funnier?
2004-07-05 06:25:49 PM  
The Michigan Every Three Weekly is a satire paper designed to counter the heralded Michigan Daily.

I miss college.
2004-07-05 07:54:19 PM  
Eh, it's been done.
2004-07-05 11:33:02 PM  
Forceful insertion?

Two in the pink, one in the stink.
2004-07-06 01:31:06 AM  
When asked for further comment, Hughes only replied, "Arrrrrr, matey," and pointed at his eye patch to indicate how funny it was.

Smells like satire to me.
2004-07-06 03:51:16 AM  
When asked for further comment, Hughes only replied, "Arrrrrr, matey," and pointed at his eye patch to indicate how funny it was.

Smells like satire to me.

Took you that long to figure it out?
2004-07-06 03:53:22 AM  
remember when we used to use the irony tag for these kind of stories?
2004-07-06 03:54:50 AM  
SATIRE! i meant to say the SATIRE tag

its really freaking late here, i am sorry
2004-07-06 03:57:32 AM  
This is NOT satire.

I ordered a double bacon cheeseburger last Tuesday, and three McDonald's employees held me down while the assistant manager inserted the burger forcefully into my anus.

No cause for complaint, though.
2004-07-06 04:00:01 AM  
If this wasn't satire, we should just through in the towel as a species.

or at least alter our ideas about evolution.
2004-07-06 04:01:38 AM  
"I used to feel safe when I ate at McDonald's," said Crumpet resident Kathleen Turner...

Oh God! My favourite childhood MILF is going to McDonalds. ** sobs **
2004-07-06 04:02:30 AM  
I Instantly knew it was satire, and I found it hilarious.
2004-07-06 04:04:08 AM  
through = throw.

ir ken spel
2004-07-06 04:05:06 AM  
I think the Dumbass tag is for the poster or whoever greenlit this if he thought this was real.
2004-07-06 04:05:56 AM  
The first step to eliminating poorly written satire is to stop greenlighting it on Fark. With your help, we can return the humor to comedy in our lifetimes.
2004-07-06 04:06:26 AM  
This is dumbest piece of crap I have ever read. This is 100% pure bulls*it. It is not real nor funny why did anyone post this? I mean come on! They totally gave it away when they started the article! They gave it away in each sentence including this one "Our burgers are one hundred percent eye-friendly". This people are some damn stupid.
2004-07-06 04:06:41 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-07-06 04:06:55 AM  
This is satire. Duh.
2004-07-06 04:08:27 AM  
is this satire?!?!

I can't tell!!!

Someone please explain!
2004-07-06 04:15:42 AM  
This is not satire; it is an assault on my brain. Jesus, that article sucked ass; I didn't come close to laughing even once. And I can still laugh when I light my farts on fire, so it doesn't take much to amuse me.
2004-07-06 04:17:11 AM  
dumbass? satire... isn't there an option for that on the submissions page... and aren't people screening these?
2004-07-06 04:23:50 AM  
"The restaurant failed to provide adequate warning," said Hughes. "I thoroughly read all of the warning information for my hamburger, and nowhere did it warn me that a forceful burger eye insertion might be a bad idea."

I knew it had to be satire because a person who would reach this conclusion would not be able to either read the warning information or find an attorney. Then I relaxed and managed to enjoy the rest of the article.
2004-07-06 04:24:32 AM  
Well the definition of Satire is "Witty language used to convey insults or scorn" so the answer is absolutely farking no. It is not satire. All I know is that this is a farked up piece of crap.
2004-07-06 04:26:08 AM  

that is a really, really crap article
2004-07-06 04:29:35 AM  
jeez, when did all of these unfunny onion wannabes start showing up? Not funny. Stupid as all hell.
2004-07-06 04:30:44 AM  
You people really need to stop taking life so seriously.

It was a harmless joke and you seem to take great pleasure in tearing it apart to try and give the illusion that you have a more sophisticated sense of humour than the average human being.

I thoughtthe idea of this site was to do things in a lighthearted and carefree way.

made me chuckle anyway...
2004-07-06 04:31:49 AM  
Can we forcibly insert a hamburger into the eye of whoever wrote and submitted this?
2004-07-06 04:33:53 AM  
The University of Michigan surrenders.
2004-07-06 04:40:15 AM  
So. Lame.
2004-07-06 04:47:23 AM  
Congratulations to the submitter (who I assume is the writer; no one other than the writer themselves would find this shiat funny) for posting the worst article ever.
2004-07-06 04:52:39 AM  
Biatch biatch, Whine whine, moan moan.

/just didn't want to feel left out
2004-07-06 04:54:31 AM  
Well I, for one, think this link is well worthy of being submitted to Fark and would like to take some time out of my day to personally thank the submitter and the admin that approved the link: Thanks.

/banned yesterday for pointing out how shiat a Sun link was
//probably about to be re-banned for being a sarcastic twat
2004-07-06 04:57:30 AM  

[image from too old to be available]
2004-07-06 05:12:58 AM  
I think the tag was referring to the submitter.

Pretty funny article though.
2004-07-06 05:24:38 AM  

that would explain y'r absence.....
oh well, it was a slownews/nonews day anyway, and we can all use a cynicism sabbatical..
2004-07-06 05:35:19 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
Hard to believe it took that long for somebody to mention Ultraman.
2004-07-06 05:51:01 AM  
Well you guys are absolutely correct.

Because we all know that everything else posted on fark is the be all, end all of funny.
2004-07-06 05:56:08 AM  
Hopefully the trial jury will give him everything he deserves.
2004-07-06 05:57:29 AM  
The real 'dumbass' is the morons who thought it was real. :|
2004-07-06 05:58:23 AM  

/go blow
2004-07-06 06:03:15 AM  
maybe he was alergic... you know bk burgers are a lot less greasy
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