Proof it works: An older woman doesnt expect you to be smooth as long as youre being respectful, says Jim, 27, whos made it work. What youre going for is immediately understood: She knows its a game.


Yeah, thoughts like that will make a relationship successful.

Relationship advice from Maxim? OK....

Sure, when I dated a 30-year-old, I tried to act more sophisticated. I dressed well, held doors, bought her flowers, wore cologne, says Benjamin, 23.

So you wouldn't do that with every woman, no matter how young or old, you date? This guy must be a real ladykiller.

thanks for the shag, lady.

Yeah...somehow I think that sums up this article pretty well.

"so dont skimp on the basics like paying for her dinner and calling when you say you will."

ha! the true point of the article. guess I'm out.

And youll get more foreplay, too: a.k.a. more head than you know what to do with.

So that's what foreplay means for women 5 to 10 years older than me. What have I been thinking?!

Self-respecting adults dont wear HELLO KITTY or U-PUMP-IT ringer tees out of nostalgia. She wore this hoping youd take the bait and use it for a pickup line.

Seems to me women in their, what, 30s? 40s? wouldn't be too nostalgic about farking hello kitty. Call me crazy.

this particular piece of written crap has left me speechless.

My last boyfriend was 10 years younger than me; I am 33, he was 23.
And I have to admit that going into it I did consider that it would just be a summer fling thing, 'cause that's all I was interested in. I was very surprised when it lasted 10 months. Would I date a guy that much younger than me again? No, I don't think so. But it was fun, even though I had to endure things like, "We'd invite you guys over tonight but I don't think I have any toys for him to play with while the grown-ups are talking."

"I puked just a little when I read that." - classic!

The perineum? I thought the technical term for that was the choad

Wasn't this article up on the main site earlier today?

Regardless, she makes a good point...under 25 is a no-go.

This girl says to my GF yesterday "My boyfriend loves me, he'd never cheat on me."

She's 20.

These older women, are they preserved in plastic? Or simply fortified with Botox, Nicole Kidman style?

StretchCannon, there are a LOT of over 22's with wrinkle free skin out there....hard bodies too.

/goes to the gym & stays out of the sun

In my neck of the woods, we call the older chicks "cougars". Cougar attacks are most common after 1AM, when their prey has been weakened by the effects of too many drinks.

Ummm...ignore the punctuation on "22's"

Thanks

Like lots of girls my age, Ive had a stud puppy. I was 26, he was 21.

Yeah sweettart.. 5 years.. BIG age difference there.

also, "hoobie" rofl.. hoobie, never heard that one before.

Perhaps, Hoochie mama.. Hoobie mama?

Speaking of older women, I'd just like to say that last night I farked a woman 10 years older than me.

/bragging

Like lots of girls my age, Ive had a stud puppy. I was 26, he was 21


Uhhh, call me stupid, but 26 is hardly an "older women"
And Pinko, I know I quoted the same text.But we have a similar thought.So there

But, 26 is hardly a/an milf/miltf.

And to the webmaster at that site/shiate- Pick a font style Mozilla can read. Damn thatsalotta squinting for that piece of crap.
And to think she got PAID to "write" that.

Finally, a subject on which I'm an expert. Since the age of 13, I have almost never had relations with a woman who wasn't older than me. The sole exception has been my current fiance, who's 10 days younger, and who will be my second wife (but we've known each other since we were 19, so that's a whole new level of weirdness). I'm saying this at the age of 37. For most of my adult life, my philosophy was that older women are teh shiznitt. Massively better in bed, much more fun to talk to, way more developed emotionally, there's no comparison between a woman in her '30s and some kid in her late teens/early '20s. The only worry is what I finally ran up against - if you chase women who are typically about 10 years older, then once you get into your late '30s, you suddenly notice that the women you want to go after are really getting, well, old. I'm still grappling with that one...

Uh, congrats Artmerlyn.
You still have not "bagged" a real MILF.
33 ? BFD. But I am glad you had some fun.
Oh, Surf city is Santa Cruz.
Ha.

This article doesn't have anything to do with baseball!

Thanks alienated!

I always like the support i get on FARK.

Once youre in our habitat, watch us for signs of interest... Are her arms uncrossed, toes pointed in your direction?

Toes? Toes?!? Does any woman honestly expect a guy to pay attention the direction her farking toes are facing? Are women really that f'ed up?

I sure hope not. This sounds like one psychotic woman trying her damndest to meet a word count for an article she put off writing until 3:00 am the night before.

At 26 I'm supposed to be able to impulsively spring for a weekend in Vegas for two? Maybe an evening at the casino a few hours away, but even that's pushing it.

I would love to get myself a no-strings boy-toy. But since I don't go to bars anymore and I have no idea what other places guys who are looking for ladies go to, that severely limits my contact with potential boy-toys.

Ku_No_Ichi
Sssshhhh.
Dont ruin his dream now Lass.
I did almost lose a beer when i refreshed and saw that.
And Sweater Girl- what happened to your original pic ? You know the one, your namesake.

I got hooked on MILFs at a young age. When I was 18, farking a 45 yr old was a WEE bit much, but I definitely loved it. Then when I was 19, I very nearly got engaged to a 38 yr old who I loved very much. She taught me more about sex than I'd ever dreamed there was to learn. She's the one who taught me my unbridled love for going down on a woman, and who taught me what foreplay REALLY was (the best part of the sundae, not just the optional cherry on top). I'm 25 now, and the lessons I learned have made some of my exes VERY happy women.

But in retrospect, I do have to say there's just something strange about making love to a woman to the point where she passes out, then sneaking out of bed to go play Mario Kart with her 12 yr old son. And having him give me that "I know what you just did to my mom" look.

smile-
StretchCAnnon must either
a: be tom leykis
b: be a tom leykis clone.
Your profile says you live out of his broadcast area ( thank whatever deity you beleive in for that )
so you might not know what he is, which is basically a douchebag who claims to make millions in radio.
A basic piece of garbage.His website :
http://www.blowmeuptom.com/index2.html

Sure, when I dated a 30-year-old, I tried to act more sophisticated. I dressed well, held doors, bought her flowers, wore cologne, says Benjamin, 23. Im sure I was nothing like the rich bankers she dated, but my efforts were genuine, so it really helped me impress her.

Ah fark. I'm old. When did that happen?

Yes Akaziel, but do you know what I just did to YOUR mom?

Ok, sorry, but that was begging for it.

"Make our age a plus by using flattering words like sophisticated, elegant, and self-assured to describe us"

Ah, women. Could you be any more stupid?

When you see the words "Stud Puppy" in an article, in this case the very first sentence, the red flags should be raised.

Do people still use "Stud Puppy" in conversations today? Google is shaking it's head "No".

Cowabunga, Rosie Amodio

Pardon me - but what the fark? "Older women" in this article are all of ... in their 30s?

Seriously - what the fark?

I spend several hours a week on a large state college campus. There are people in their early-to-mid 30s there, and while there are some differences attributable to more 'life experience' you'd be hard pressed to tell the, say, 34-year-old from the 27-year-old. Similar styles, tastes in music, cultural references, etc. And, yes, even looks. Yes, if you're too free-wheeling with the fork you've got the extra years to pack on more weight than a younger person, but for cryin' out loud it's not like you hit 30 and your skin and face take a dive. I see people pushing 40 who - without botox (and I'm certain Nicole Kidman doesn't need it, but has succumbed to the Hollywood trait of going way overboard with cosmetic enhancements - look as good as or better than a lot of people in their mid-to-late 20s. I don't mean good for their age, I mean they could pass for someone a decade younger. Most of the women who don't fit this pattern were either never particularly attractive or youthful looking, or they baked their skin to death and are suffering as a result.

Regardless, this is just a bizarre freakin' article when the oldest older woman is, what, 36? That would make her younger than, oh, say Salma Hayek.

No no no, Allewiscious....that just made me laugh. See, my mom is a fairly uptight wine-shops-and-art-galleries kind of woman. The kind of person who gets laid once or twice a decade.

So one day, at her going away party before she moved to Ft Lauderdale, she and I were drinking and discussing the cost of living down there. When I lived there, my apt was $975 a month. Somehow, she got a HOUSE for only $450 a month. I asked her how the hell she got it that cheap. To which my mother replies, deadpan, "Because I'm a slut!"

I think that broke me laughing. But before it did, I was able to choke out a hearty "Bongggg!", ala Jay in the diner scene in Dogma.

Trust me, do what ya want to her....might loosen her up a bit.

Artmerlyn

Oh yeah? Well a couple weeks ago I farked a woman 32 years older than me! Who's the man now?

/bragging? I report, you decide

WTF?

Since WHEN is "26" considered "OLDER"?

I'm 32 and I still don't qualify as "OLDER", unless talking about my children...

I've mostly dated women 3-6 years older than myself, until (at 23) meeting my (now) wife. She's 4 years my senior, and I've never regretted a minute.

In your twenties, a slightly older woman knows what the !@#@! she is doing with herself and is generally much more interesting to talk to.

Ever try talking to a 21 YO female? Oh my God! as though they knew anything worth mentioning....

Ugh. Give me brains or give me death!

I don't know but I swear every story that Maxim say's is
written by a woman is really written by a man!
Sorry guy's I'm sure if it had been written by one of you Farkers it would have been a better read.

CandyPink
"I have no idea what other places guys who are looking for ladies go to"

Ummm, EVERYWHERE? Tell me with a straight face that you, as a white woman in her 20's, do not have to turn down dick at least 5 times before lunch. You can't do it. Whether you acknowledge it or not, every male from the age of 14 to 114 that you come into contact with through the course of your day is asking, pleading, begging for some good old fashioned, no strings attached sexola. Look for the hints, they aren't very well hidden. Theyll do all the work for you, all you have to do is choose your preferred mate and allow him to mount. Simple as that.