What it comes down to is this... the problem is that someone in a position of authority had sex with someone under their sphere of infuence. Thats not accpetable in many cases (boss/sectretary, priest/alterboy) and we have rules to stop it happening. There are exeptions to the rule (my cousin fell in love with her boss and married him), but the are not always the case, so we tend to defer to the safe side nowadays.

The reason for the double standard is because of old fashioned ideas that to men sex=power and to women sex=love (this was touched upon eariler in the thread but got no reply so I thought it worth saying again). This idea even outweighs the age difference for most people: The 14 is simply "doing what men do" and the no-harm-no-foul rule comes into play.

However, if an older teacher and younger girl get together, he must over power her, since he has the double advantage of being male and in a position of power.

Things get confusing on the male-male scale, but we don't like it because he (the older teacher) used his position of power again...

...and we get to the older woman teacher and the younger girl, which is such a rarity (to be reported on at least), and since they're both females it must be love, right?

Sex is confusing people. Somepeople like plain vanilla sex; some people will only do it with hairy guys, some people with only those younger or older than them. We often don't get to pick who we find attractive at any given time in our lives. 14 year olds *are* ready to go, in most cases, and will find older women attractive sometimes. Older women will get bored with their husbands and find the idea of a young novice exciting sometimes. Men will find seductively dressed teenagers hot sometimes. So what can we do about it?

The solution is simple:
Educate people about sex properly. Right from the start (and I'm talking about when they first ask where baby's come from) we should be telling our kids that sex is wonderful, good fun and needs to be shared with only someone we love and trust. Do it only when you feel you want to, and no-one can make you do it if you don't want to. If anyone does try, don't be afraid to talk about it.

Get rid of age of consent laws and replace them with (or strengthen current) against-concent laws. If it's found out anyone had sex with anyone else (M/F/whatever) then the law should come down on them. BUT, only prosecute if there is a dispute about consent between the two parties, no-one else involved (parents, husbands, wifes, nothing).


I've known plenty of girls who break the stereotype about meek and mild loving girls who only want to have sex with people they love. I know girls who definately use sex as a power play thing. I know guys who only have had sex with the one woman they loved. Our ideas about gender roles and sex are as outdated as the idea that everyone is an adult at 18 (or even 21!). Blanket rules can no longer apply, and judgment should be bought on a case by case basis.

Burn98 said:
NOT acceptable. There is a legal distinction between consent and informed consent. It is quite possible to talk a horny 14 (male or female) year old into having sex. But does that boy or girl really understand what that means? Is that 14 year old ready to become a parent? Are they savvy enough to protect themselves from disease?
If we allow 14 year olds to have sex we should also allow them to drive cars and get jobs.

Gosh, it's like you completely ignored the first half of my excessively long post. EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN PEOPLE. Smart kids make smart choices, and if you brought them up well, they'll know they have to live with the consequences of any actions (smart or stupid) they take.

Unfortunately, I think this is actually a little to much to ask of most people, because it might mean they would have to take more than a passing interest in their childrens lives.

As for the "drive cars and have jobs", well, actually I know some perople who at 14 years old had paying jobs. Hell, there's plenty of people who grew up on farms around me who defintely where driving at 14. It's just a matter of upbringing. Remember, we have extended childhood (speaking here as a period of time without adult responsibility) far beyond any previous time in history. Hell, as was stated eariler there are people in their mid twenties still living the adolesent life. However we change society, biology will not change, so which do you think will win out?

My point is: Educate your kids, they will make smart choices...even if they decide to have sex earlier than you want them to, they won't be scared to go get a condom somewhere and use it. They won't be to ashamed to tell you if the teacher is pressuring them to have sex, male or female.

And yeah, I was driving at 16 (and a half). On the roads. They let us do that over here. We even get to have sex with anyone we want at 16 (with some ambiguity about gay sex for a two years there..but thats another argument). Of course, at 16 I wanted more sex than I was getting, since anything was better than nothing :-D