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(Denver Channel)   Two teens unable to control their intense sexual urges after viewing "Dodgeball"   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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61438 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2004 at 11:42 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

129 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-06-23 12:09:53 PM  
Those two kids should get a hero tag for that one.
2004-06-23 12:11:29 PM  
Has anyone seen the advertisement for the new Pro Dodgeball league on Game show network?

Shirtless fat guys.

That's entertainment.
2004-06-23 12:11:57 PM  

Exactly. That's why it's a good thing to see indie films that have maybe one other person in the theater.

Ahhh... Those were the days...
2004-06-23 12:12:48 PM  
Think thats rough, try it in a VW beetle.

"I'm going to have sex with her in a very uncomfortable place."

"What, you mean like the back of a Volkswagen?"
2004-06-23 12:13:39 PM  
I was unable to control my sexual urge after watching it too. Except I didn't have a girlfriend with me, but I did find a stray dog out in the parking lot.
2004-06-23 12:15:02 PM  
Was this one of those theaters armed with night vision goggles? I guess the fight against movie piracy has fringe benefits.
2004-06-23 12:15:11 PM  
Oh to be young and horny again....
2004-06-23 12:17:31 PM  
Dude, what the $#*@ is wrong with a country when you have cops tracking down kids in parking lots, arresting them, and then even charging them for humpin' in a theatre.

Yell at them a bit, tell 'em "doan' come back again y'hear?" and let it go.

Yegads. Seriously dysfunctional that ....
2004-06-23 12:19:06 PM  
2004-06-23 12:06:17 PM wayward2
They are stupid.
You need an empty theater and you need to be discreet about it. Mini-skirts are a plus.

I was going to post this, almost verbatim. Well said, wayward.

/misty, watercolor memories...
2004-06-23 12:19:19 PM  
as long as it was on the floor of the hallway, i don't see the farking problem.

if it was on a seat i'd have to sit in later, i would be annoyed, but on the floor?

who cares?

it's just sex.

good for them, american kids are so fat and listless that they should be encouraged to exercise.
2004-06-23 12:19:21 PM  

They are stupid.

You need an empty theater

Yeah, but that would mean actually having to say the words "Two tickets for Around the World in 80 Days".

and you need to be discreet about it. Mini-skirts are a plus.
2004-06-23 12:19:21 PM  
Used to work at a movie and had to ban a guy for getting neked in the theater....Diabolique was the movie.
2004-06-23 12:19:45 PM  
I lost my V in the TV lounge at Russell Hall at Delhi Tech in NY

good times, got walked in on too
2004-06-23 12:20:27 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-06-23 12:23:32 PM  
Having sex somewhere very uncomfortable.

"Like the back of a Volkswagen?"

2004-06-23 12:24:55 PM  
Arg Wayward2! Damn refresh!
2004-06-23 12:26:09 PM  
I like teh part where he asked to see their tickets.
2004-06-23 12:27:46 PM  
Haha i live about 2 miles from that theater.

it's in kind of ghetto part of town (as ghetto as johnson county can get).

/lookit me! my proximity to the event makes me famous!
2004-06-23 12:30:31 PM  
The manager was probably just bent that he too could not hit it.

Throw the kids out. Ban them for time and eternity. Go home to the wife. Hit it. Go to sleep.

Problem solved, and without the involvement of local law enforcement.
2004-06-23 12:31:13 PM  
"...and they never ruined their fun by giving into their THROBBING BIOLOGICAL URGES"

rip phil
2004-06-23 12:32:36 PM  
I went to see a live sex show in Amsterdam. It was mostly single blokes, but behind us were a couple who were getting progressively more adventurous. I assume they were turned on by the quite astounding stage act (I still don't know how she did that without the candle going out).

Behind us, the chick was going down on the guy and he was smoking a joint. The manager came up to them and told him to put it out, no smoking inside. He put it out. The headjob continued.

2004-06-23 12:32:45 PM  

very nice. listened to that on the way into work today.
2004-06-23 12:37:27 PM  
That manager was a real dick. If he was bothered, he could've just let them know they were busted, which would've been fairly humiliating (I'll bet). They like the thrill of possibly getting caught, not the actual getting caught. There was no need to turn it into a legal issue. He still could have banned them without involving the courts.

Smed - Hmm... you're being the same kind of dick that the theater manager was.

Also, am I just getting old, or does it sound kind of farked up that she's just 15? I remember having no problems with sex between 15 year olds when I was 15 (or 17). Now it seems so damned young. Anyone else creeped out by that documentary on HBO Family about the 12 year old girls?

Damn, I'm old. shiat.
2004-06-23 12:40:30 PM  
Crap. I realize I totally wasted my high school years.

Two years of spanish or you wont get into college my ass....
2004-06-23 12:50:05 PM  
Overheard 2 kids talking about getting a rainbow in the theatre. Anybody know what this is?
2004-06-23 12:53:25 PM  
That sort of film has always attracted the wrong element.
2004-06-23 12:54:50 PM  
Does anyone feel they missed out on life? Why didn't I fornicate in public with high school girlfriends? Or at least videotape it and sell it to my classmates?
2004-06-23 12:55:44 PM  
Awww Smed is just pissed cause he can't go to that movie theater anymore!
2004-06-23 12:57:54 PM  
Asshat, its FOUR years now...
2004-06-23 12:58:12 PM  
banninated from the movies
because of back row SHENANIGANS!

/trogdor the movie security dragon/man
2004-06-23 12:58:16 PM  
As for the rainbow question, think multiple girls, one guy and different shades of lipstick. Damn you Clinton, why werent you the president when I was in High School!
/it's not sex if it is oral!!
2004-06-23 01:00:10 PM  
2004-06-23 01:00:27 PM  
Smed= the old guy who is always complaining.

/hates people who are trivial.
2004-06-23 01:04:32 PM  
Everyone who's biatching about the manager calling the cops: I can't speak for all theaters, but it's standard policy at the theater I worked at to call the cops (or, if it's a Friday or Saturday night, just get the cop moonlighting as security) when people are farking in the theater.

Personally, when I was working, I never turned anyone in except for the lesbian couple who were trying to get it on at the front of a packed Jimmy Neutron movie full of kids... That wasn't really to 'protect the children' it was to protect my ears from all the complaining mothers in the theater.

Oh, and my favorite one was the one where the security guy walks into a theater that someone complained about kids engaging in oral sex in, and a few minutes later walks back out, holding the kid tight by the arm, and says 'Just wait until I tell your mom.' 'No! C'mon Uncle George!'

That was just damn classic.
2004-06-23 01:07:52 PM  
seriously, miniskirt and lets be subtle about it. she's just sitting in my lap...
manager is a douchebag. let them have their fun dammit.
2004-06-23 01:17:23 PM  
This is nothing. Try finding a 25 year old man and 13 year old girl enjoying full intercourse in Rugrats the Movie. And then being threatened by them.

/3 years as a movie theater usher
2004-06-23 01:19:32 PM  
Makes me wish I had a girlfriend to fornicate with in High school. Makes me wish I had a girlfriend to fornicate with, period.

And my college has a 6:1 guy-girl ratio... :'(
2004-06-23 01:20:38 PM  
I, for one, would like to welcome our new movie theatre hallway humping overlords.

Actually I've been to that theatre several times, but have yet to be privy to such a display. But tomorrow's another day...
2004-06-23 01:22:42 PM  

hey, the dude's only got a year before that sort of thing is considered statuatory rape (does S. Dakota have statuatory rape laws?). Rock on little man, hit that.

You misspelled Kansas.
2004-06-23 01:26:07 PM  
I wonder if he was gonna "cram it in her cram hole"

She definitely "put her mouth where his balls were"

...sorry had to steal a couple of my favorite lines from the movie
2004-06-23 01:27:42 PM  
This is nothing. Try finding a 25 year old man and 13 year old girl enjoying full intercourse in Rugrats the Movie. And then being threatened by them.

If you hadn't been shining that damn light in my eyes, I wouldn't have had to threaten you.

That movie suxed, anyway.
2004-06-23 01:30:40 PM  
OK, WTF is with this movie? I went to see it on Monday and during our showing there were two girls jacking this guy off in the back row. The farkin' theater was pretty damn full too! I mean, Christine Taylor in leather works for me on some level, but I think I could wait until after the movie. Regardless, 'Dodgeball' is actually pretty funny as long as you are in a brain at the door, fun havin' mood.
2004-06-23 01:33:55 PM  
Can't beat my "banned from a theater story" and also afternoon special on the dangers of Tequila

I was at Benningan's one Sunday night with a buddy of mine taking tequila shot after tequila shot. Hammered. Eventually, upon our getting a bit rowdy, the manager noticed that we were the same two guys who, among a larger group, had inadvertently caused a minor fire in the bar the night before (an accident, i swear). They kicked us out. Not wanting to risk a dui, we headed to the movies across the road to sober up a bit. While waiting in the incredibly long line to see Any Given Sunday on its opening weekend, we began talking to some girls. At that point, the tequila began wreaking havoc on my buddy's gastrointestinal system and he began stealthily lighting matches behind his arse to prevent our newfound female friends from running away. Security was on to us in a minute and they dispatched an officer to deal with the situation. A few moments later I felt a tug at my pants leg. A three and a half foot tall security guard in full security guard uniform (1/2 scale) greeted me with a thick accent. He told me to stop what we were doing or he would be forced to escort us out.

My response was thus, "Settle down, Tatoo. Just bring me a Mai Tai and let me know when the plane gets here." I was greeted with a slap from one of the girls and the four of us were photographed and subsequently banninated from the AMC @ Grapevine Mills in Dallas. True story.
2004-06-23 01:33:58 PM  
Oh, just wanted to mention something. If you actually go to see 'Dodgeball' then wait until the credits end. It's worth it.
2004-06-23 01:36:17 PM  
Must have been a dull farking movie.
2004-06-23 01:42:41 PM  
post hoc ergo propter hoc
2004-06-23 01:42:44 PM  
come on kids...

you do it in the movie, sitting in the top row, in a movie that no one else wants to go see or has been out for a long time...and the lights are either burned out or not there

2004-06-23 01:42:46 PM  
If you can dodge security, you can dodge a ball!!!!!
2004-06-23 01:47:17 PM  
I was unable to control my sexual urge after watching it too. Except I didn't have a girlfriend with me, but I did find a stray dog out in the parking lot.

Here's where I would have gone with that:

I was unable to control my sexual urge after watching it too. Except I didn't have a girlfriend with me, but I did two naked kids cowering in the Chevy Parking Lot!

/do you have a firstclass upgrade these seats are kinda small..
2004-06-23 01:49:18 PM  

Oh, just wanted to mention something. If you actually go to see 'Dodgeball' then wait until the credits end. It's worth it.

I second that!!
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