FARK.com: (1006068) Sharon Osbourne edges out Satan to be named "most important person in rock"

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		Sharon Osbourne edges out Satan to be named "most important person in rock" (news.bbc.co.uk)		65
		More: Stupid

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Shemp Mo-Din		2004-06-22 12:48:04 AM

Yeah, she edges out Satan in terms of evilness, too. Know a band who gets screwed into Pay-To-Play? Mrs. Osbourne is one of the biggest champions for that shiat.

AlgaeRancher		2004-06-22 03:13:33 AM

I was robbed!

/I blame the decline of tradtitional values in rock music today

RobbieFal		2004-06-22 04:12:33 AM

I gotta say that Satan, with his abilities of putting subliminable messeges in music, beats out Sharon Osbourne.

Even if Sharon did bite the head off of a dove herself

State_College_Arsonist		2004-06-22 04:32:18 AM

Let me guess, VH1 had something to do with this?

Uranus		2004-06-22 04:37:08 AM

"Sharon is the real power behind the Prince of Darkness' throne," Kerrang said.

...leading to denials from Shredder.

Ninja Turtles unavailable for comment...

"Heavy Metal is not about Satanism", says Damien Lucifer of the band Antichrist

ViperCTW		2004-06-22 04:37:34 AM

Yea, I'm sure the wife of an old worn out rocker has tons more power than the CEO of Clear Channel

Satan_Himself		2004-06-22 04:38:06 AM

Well, I figured her soul was worth it.

DrZaiusDrZaius		2004-06-22 04:40:18 AM

I can't sleep.

State_College_Arsonist		2004-06-22 04:45:53 AM

Satan_Himself

I think you got ripped off, man. She was probably gonna be yours anyway. Just look at the damage her kids have wrought on our culture.

Weakner		2004-06-22 04:46:45 AM

hey satan, what's the pitchfork for?

"it's for giving evil-doers pokes in the tucka's!"

/david cross

Satan_Himself		2004-06-22 04:48:26 AM

I think you got ripped off, man. She was probably gonna be yours anyway. Just look at the damage her kids have wrought on our culture.

Oh, they're in the bag. She was on the fence.

mylow		2004-06-22 04:52:59 AM

w000t...i for one welcome are new sharon osbourne dark overlord.

ButtMan		2004-06-22 04:55:58 AM

I'd hit it!

TruthMustBeTold		2004-06-22 04:57:13 AM

she's an idiot. though she did manage (badly) coal chamber, which was a great band. devildriver ain't bad either. but she doesn't manage them, just some of the same members. err.

i vote for maynard keenan.

TheFiefdom		2004-06-22 05:04:21 AM

What the fark? The Darkness' singer? Clear Channel's president? Michael Moore??!?

worst.list.ever.

bgrdmnstr		2004-06-22 05:07:53 AM

If I am in an internet cafe is there any way for the guys in charge to tell if I am running a pier to pier program?

Crappetite		2004-06-22 05:13:40 AM

I thought it was alexi.

Uranus		2004-06-22 05:32:04 AM

pier to pier program

a pair of small dinghies?

TruthMustBeTold		2004-06-22 05:32:57 AM

bgrdmnstr-

you're consulting the wrong "forum". you should be in a loser forum.

to answer your question: either the admin has enabled downloading/installing of programs or not. the only way for them to "tell" is seeing your dumb ass listen to music and play with kazaa. i doubt anyone at an internet cafe checks stuff up internally.

get a computer.

binnster		2004-06-22 05:35:02 AM

Avril Lavigne was voted the tenth most important person in rock. Think about that. Avril Lavigne.

What happened to rock?

AmyShirley		2004-06-22 05:37:37 AM

What, no God?

TheFiefdom		2004-06-22 05:57:05 AM

AmyShirley
No, nobody sings about God.

Except Creed.

And no one listens to Creed.

milowitz		2004-06-22 06:00:57 AM

Reminds me of the Garth Brooks/Will Ferrell devil skit where he's getting pissed off and blaming his crappy songs on his out of tune guitar

SineSwiper		2004-06-22 06:02:05 AM

What the fark? The Darkness' singer? Clear Channel's president? Michael Moore??!?

worst.list.ever.

While I am waiting for MM's movie (flame on, farkers!), I have to agree. This reminds me of that horrible list that Blender made up with the 50 Worst Bands. ICP was Ranked #1 and other bands like Manowar was #42.

Even if you hate ICP with a passion, you have to admit that Manowar should have been ranked higher than ICP, especially since Blender had given ICP's latest album high marks a few issues back.

I think Rolling Stone also had a 50 Best Guitarist list without -ANY- mention of Joe Satriani.

/made up lists suck and are solely for the purpose of mental masterbation

sentient_being		2004-06-22 06:02:19 AM

Dear Sharon,

Please, before you die, do something useful on earth with your billion dollars that doesn't center around shoving your self-important, family-exploiting uglyass mug in everything.

Selling crap to the tasteless American viewership is not an accomplishment, no matter how many millions you make.

Go take care of your family you conceited idiot.

Love,
Sen

PS and take Avril with you, she's ugly anyway

george_w_bush_shot_my_cat		2004-06-22 06:03:48 AM

In Britain (where kerrang is based) the darkness are a lot bigger than they are in the states. To be quite honest, everyone in Britain loves the darkness. If you don't, then you're probably a pretentious arsewipe who listens to tears for fears and all the "alternative" stuff because it's "alternative".

Even scallies like the darkness. That's how popular they are.

eps		2004-06-22 06:19:17 AM

Rounding off the chart at number 10 was teenage singer Avril Lavigne "for turning a new generation of pop fans into fans of all things loud and objectionable".

Is this a joke ? are they taking the piss out of avril lavigne or praising her ?, i can't tell....

and how can someone who is dead be powerful ? he can't actually do anything can he ?, influential yes, powerful no.

Satan_Himself		2004-06-22 06:23:15 AM

This reminds me of that horrible list that Blender made up with the 50 Worst Bands. ICP was Ranked #1 and other bands like Manowar was #42.

Stupid stupid stupid. Even if you don't like any of the bands on the list, they cannot be the "worst bands of all time". The worst bands of all time don't get record contracts. They're garage teens with zero (and I mean zero) talent. Even the worst bands that get contracts are better than the worst that don't, all joking aside.

superkt		2004-06-22 06:49:30 AM

that list disgusts me.

Red Space Dragon		2004-06-22 07:00:01 AM

I must disagree with Satan, here.

That is a flaw of all worst "something" of all time lists. Worst videogames, worst car brands, worst movie, etc. A "worst thing of all time" list is always a "worst popular/well-known/overhyped thing of the last few years" list. The worst movie of all time is something made by a highschool student before he began making unsuccessful porn films. The worst car of all time was put together by a crazy homeless man (an ex-engineer, who lost his job after a crash test on a car of his design left a crash dummy headless and castrated), and was made out of an oil drum, some flat rocks, and a broken boiler. Those don't make it on the "worst ever" lists. No one knows about them.

The entire idea is flawed, not just that one 50 worst bands list.

ManCalledFoot		2004-06-22 07:16:28 AM

Controversial film-maker Michael Moore even makes an appearance, for "continuing to inspire and inform rock's anti-authoritarian bands".

Boy, the left is sure falling all over themselves for a chance to suck Tubby's dick. Embarrassing.

zerkalo		2004-06-22 07:43:02 AM

Ah, the old "Top ______ in ______" list. Friend to lazy reporters and deadline-driven editors everywhere!

Uranus		2004-06-22 07:59:53 AM

RedSpaceDragon,Satan Himself

How would you feel about a "Top 50 worst worst lists" list

StrikitRich		2004-06-22 08:24:01 AM

Forbes has named William Hung #96 on their Top 100 Celebrities list, one ahead of Lindsey Lohan. Somebody had to have lost a soul over that one.

As far as list go, how about a Top 50 Celebri-tities?

WastedYouth		2004-06-22 08:38:38 AM

george_w_bush_shot_my_cat you are exactly the reason that not everyone in the UK loves the Darkness. Thos sad little people going round saying that you're some kind of sick weirdo if you don't love them. They do prety much suck. All they do is a poor parody of old rock acts, nothing original at all. What the darkness do now Beck did much better in the early nineties.

Now piss off you stupid popularity nazi.

/p.s. everybody loves me so you're a stupid pretentious twat if you say anything bad about me

Uranus		2004-06-22 08:38:48 AM

StrikitRich

As far as list go, how about a Top 50 Celebri-tities?

buy a map of silicon valley.

Satan_Himself		2004-06-22 09:13:24 AM

I must disagree with Satan, here.

That is a flaw of all worst "something" of all time lists. Worst videogames, worst car brands, worst movie, etc. A "worst thing of all time" list is always a "worst popular/well-known/overhyped thing of the last few years" list. The worst movie of all time is something made by a highschool student before he began making unsuccessful porn films. The worst car of all time was put together by a crazy homeless man (an ex-engineer, who lost his job after a crash test on a car of his design left a crash dummy headless and castrated), and was made out of an oil drum, some flat rocks, and a broken boiler. Those don't make it on the "worst ever" lists. No one knows about them.

The entire idea is flawed, not just that one 50 worst bands list.

I fail to see whee you disagree with me. I didn't claim that this was the only stupid list, just that the list was stupid.

But I can disagree (in part) with you: you can have "worst" lists for things that are famous for being bad, i.e. worst earthquakes in terms of fatalities.

world citizen		2004-06-22 09:13:59 AM

Pitiful journos

El_Swino		2004-06-22 09:26:12 AM

People still read Karang magazine?

kafkaesque		2004-06-22 09:48:17 AM

Controversial film-maker Michael Moore even makes an appearance, for "continuing to inspire and inform rock's anti-authoritarian bands".

Rock is dead.

rogue_L_chick		2004-06-22 09:51:21 AM

speaking of Avril...that personals girl...I keep hearing that god-awful "Skater Boi" when I look at her....make it stop...

/too early for Avril headache

jelly-elly		2004-06-22 09:58:31 AM

"Also included is Sanctuary Records founder Rod Smallwood, who was responsible for signing Iron Maiden, at number eight."

Heh heh. Rod Smallwood, eh?

DRFS Rich		2004-06-22 10:01:58 AM

Crappetite

... Laiho? He's pretty damn cool, but I dunno about the most important... If I was going for anyone from that tour, it'd be Tom S. Englund.

Maybe Dio... He deserves the honour for still rocking at his age.

Or Lemmy, as we all know, thanks to Airheads... Lemmy is God.

NathanAllen		2004-06-22 10:22:23 AM

Jokes on them, Sharon, the clear channel guy and this Avril girl are all incarnations of the unholy triumverate of Satan.

The enabling mother, the untalented annoying daughter, and creepy uncle Ben.

Freakjob_0		2004-06-22 10:40:22 AM

SineSwiper
While I am waiting for MM's movie (flame on, farkers!), I have to agree. This reminds me of that horrible list that Blender made up with the 50 Worst Bands. ICP was Ranked #1 and other bands like Manowar was #42.
Even if you hate ICP with a passion, you have to admit that Manowar should have been ranked higher than ICP, especially since Blender had given ICP's latest album high marks a few issues back.

Oh, man I was hoping someone else saw that issue of this assrag of a magazine. They did have some bands that were utter crap and quite a few "Hair Bands" which are often an easy target to trash. But they had also had The Doors...the freakin Doors, on the 50 worst list. After I saw that. "Mr. magazine, meet Mr. Trashcan"

CrazyTalk		2004-06-22 10:49:02 AM

i bet she wouldn't even have made the list if it were not for that stupid show. thats right i think its stupid!

zappaisfrank		2004-06-22 10:54:54 AM

I have been a Black Sabbath fan for over thirty years, and I am at odds as to how I feel about her. On one hand, she's probably singlehandedly responsable for keeping Ozzy alive (judge that however you like) but at the same time, he doesn't take a shiat without asking her first!

I think it's awesome that the Sabs are playing Ozzfest this year (already got my tickets for the Chicago show 8/21!) but I think without her calling all the shots, he would probably do more with them than he does.

Jack and Kelly Osbourne also need to be biatch slapped into not being so annoying!

Having said that, I'd hit it! (total MILF!)

Apparent Nuisance		2004-06-22 10:56:11 AM

I cant believe how many of you are actually taking the list as something they compiled to be taken seriously. You don't agree that Sharon Osbourne or Michael Moore should be on the list? Does the fact that they included the fictional farking Satan on the list not help put it over the top so you realise it's a joke not to be taken seriously?

If the staff at Kerrang magazine are reading this, they're laughing at you for being such colossal idiots.

Prrometheus		2004-06-22 10:57:54 AM

Michael Moore? I love how the big government liberal agenda inspires "anti-authoritarian" bands nowadays.

GurneyHalleck		2004-06-22 11:38:57 AM

Sharon Osbourne sucks. She might have kept Ozzy from destroying himself, but she's kept Ozzy from touring with Black Sabbath so that he can remain king of his own inpotent solo band. Don't get me wrong, Ozzy's band has some great musicians in it (Mike Bordin and Zakk are two of my favorite musicians), but without good composers (especially Bob Daisley, the guy who had a hand in writing just about all of Ozzy's good solo songs), Ozzy sucks. But you'd never know that with Sharon in charge. Ozzy's a great front man (and a really good natured guy), but without people to write good music & lyrics for him, he's just a marketing tool which Sharon has used to make money. The fact that she had the first two Ozzy solo albums re-mixed without Bob Daisley and Lee Kerslake in the mix is proof that she doesn't understand anything about what makes rock and roll worth listening to. She is a vile creature bereft of heart and soul. She is the minion of Satan sent to extact payment from Ozzy.

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