Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Some tips to help women avoid looking clueless on Super Bowl Sunday   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

5864 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2002 at 9:32 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

94 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-01-17 09:35:50 AM  
It dosen't matter what thay say as long as they have lots of beer on hand!
2002-01-17 09:37:55 AM  
Asking 'Whose playing?' during a football game usually gets you thrown in the dumpster round here
2002-01-17 09:39:46 AM  
One word - RAIDERS
2002-01-17 09:40:26 AM  
Make me some pie, biatch!
2002-01-17 09:46:59 AM  
FLA Chickie - NOT!
2002-01-17 09:54:37 AM  
She can guide me to her tight end
2002-01-17 09:57:59 AM  
'don't make fun of a player's weight because they are paid to be large'?

screw that, i never miss a chance to make fun of that tub of lard tony siragusa or that chub butt gilbert brown
2002-01-17 10:07:01 AM  
TheTick: Okay, who are you hoping to see win it then? My second choice is Philly.
2002-01-17 10:16:11 AM second choice is the Steelers.
2002-01-17 10:19:21 AM  
Philly vs Steelers...sounds good to me
2002-01-17 10:23:28 AM  
Best tip: Stay out of the guys' hair unless it's time to bring beer.
2002-01-17 10:23:56 AM convienent nobody mentions the RAMS during these football threads.

If the Rams defeat the Packers Sunday afternoon, they're going all the way. That would be their toughest game throughout the playoffs
2002-01-17 10:23:57 AM  
"Finally, Stout says you should never poke fun at a defensive player's massive weight, because real football fans know they're paid to be huge and hit hard."

Sounds alot like the prostitutes in the Green Bay area.
2002-01-17 10:24:37 AM  
pleeeeaase, philly aint got a prayer. they suck a$$. It will be pittsburg and St. louis. Pitt will loose again like they did to my boys a few years back. Just to keep it straight......The boys suck a$$ too now.
2002-01-17 10:26:42 AM  
Girls, if you want to look smart, you're NOT going to be saying Go Eagles!! or Go Raiders!!. They'll be long gone by then.

What you should be saying is,"Honey, I'm thinking the over/under should be 72 since the St.Louis Rams are back in the Super Bowl." Just mentioning the Rams will lend you an air of credibility. Go with the winner girls. You can't honestly pull for a team whose fans are so insecure, they have to come to the games in costume.

Rams 37 - ?????? 17
2002-01-17 10:29:14 AM  
How about: Watch the game naked and do jumping jacks during commercials?
2002-01-17 10:29:32 AM  
Here's a tip. When your man is in his Laz-Z-Boy watching the game and you are on your knees polishing his 'knob' (after you've brought him another beer), keep your head down so he can see the big screen. Bobbing your head up and down is just fine, just don't block the view.

That's smart.
2002-01-17 10:30:56 AM  
Pittsburgh 35, Rams 0.
2002-01-17 10:36:31 AM  
heh.. sure.. tips to help 'women'..
2002-01-17 10:41:15 AM  
Irascible - Ha! That reminds me of the joke about the kid interviewing for a job with the CEO and the conversation turns to Green Bay. The kid then says that "Only football players and prostitutes come from Green Bay." To which the CEO replies: "My wife is from Green Bay." "Really?" says the kid, "What position did she play?"
2002-01-17 10:54:29 AM  
football sucks
it's all a bunch of homoerotic imagary...
guys in tights fondling each other's packages! anyone who likes football must be a closeted homosexual who busts a nut to the thought of tackling a guy full force and trying to grab his ball(s).

the commercials are pretty funny though...
2002-01-17 11:01:07 AM  
Q: Why did the woman cross the road?

2002-01-17 11:03:52 AM  
so who's playing?
2002-01-17 11:18:58 AM  
Time for another installment of fb-'s Free Tip of the Day!

Ladies want to know, what can we do about the Super Bowl. They don't want to look clueless.

Ladies, I have two words of advice for you. When game time rolls around, Suck It!
2002-01-17 11:22:46 AM  
This should be marked asinine. This lady is an insult to women.
I wont be able to make any comments about the game till this weekend. I hope the Rams win, I'm a big London Fletcher fan
2002-01-17 11:28:19 AM  
That's an insult. AN INSULT. Women like that make me sick. "tight ends heehehehehe"

2002-01-17 11:30:48 AM  
Minmei: preach it. Hey, I'm also a 22 year old chick. Though I'm not a tree hugging liberal.
2002-01-17 11:33:18 AM  
Hey Minmei, good to see another Clevelander in the house. We should get together and throw some bottles sometime...
2002-01-17 11:33:48 AM  
I don't give a rat's arse about the SuperBowl - never have and I imagine I never will. Don't know squat about football, but I wouldn't be stupid enough to ask those dumbarse questions.

Duh, which ones the Yankees?
2002-01-17 11:37:10 AM  
Minmei: Have no fear. The Rams will win. London Fletcher said so. The little man can talk the talk AND walk the walk.
2002-01-17 11:49:36 AM  
As amusing as this is, I and most of my female friends are bigger football fans than our husbands. This is very offensive and sexist.

BTW, here in Indy they're having a contest to win a Superbowl party and they're having some of the Colt's cheerleaders attend as part of the package. It's not like they're going to be working any games that day or anything.
2002-01-17 11:51:53 AM  
The usuall questions from a woman are 1"whos the team in blue?" 2"ok whos the team in green then?" 3"well who are those guys in black and white stripes with the little yellow hankerchiefs?" and 4 "is john madden in anyway related to jaba the hutt?" oh wait scratch that last one.
2002-01-17 11:52:07 AM  
I know alot about football. And I always host the best Super Bowl parties! Rams-Steelers.
2002-01-17 11:53:15 AM  
whoops sorry jabba not jaba
2002-01-17 12:00:36 PM  
I'm proud to say that my wife not only enjoys football; she understands it quite well, including the difference between man-to-man and zone, nickel, etc. etc.

I done trained her well...
2002-01-17 12:01:33 PM  

All you need to know is how to please a man,
Just make sure he has a cold beer within reach,
give him a wide variety of snack food items,
once per quarter suck him off like a starved whore
perhaps for the fourth quarter, if you can keep your head out of the way, lube up and take one in the rear for the team.

Beer, food, farking.

repeat after me ladies, beer, food, farking...

Very very easy.

Oh yeah, and point # 2, no speaking. If you must speak, say you run out of food or beer or lube and need to ask permission to get dressed, put some shoes on, and leave the house to get more of one of these items, wait till a commercial (and not a funny one) approach meekly and ask quietly with appropriate "master" and "sir" insertions.

Well, I know now that if my wife sees this I am totally doomed for all eternity if I am not castrated, but I could not resist.
2002-01-17 12:04:54 PM  
Cool PenGwen, The cheerleaders can bring the beer and get on thier knees and slob the knob too. The cheerleaders definately have the best tight ends in the NFL.
2002-01-17 12:09:08 PM  
If all the guys are gay, ask "Did the wide receivers used to be tight ends?"
2002-01-17 12:11:31 PM  
Sure NaTaX! When hosting my parties I wear a maids uniform and serve not only my boyfriend but all of his friends too...............
2002-01-17 12:15:06 PM  
Tip for the ladies:
Keep your mouth shut and stay in the kitchen or somewhere else out of sight unless you're bringing in more beer, bean dip, chips, etc.
And DO NOT say "Those are definitely winning colors," unless you want to get smacked.
2002-01-17 12:21:49 PM  
I STILL think the Packers will win

Unrepentant Cheesehead
2002-01-17 12:26:34 PM  
I will polish the knob during the super bowl as long as he eats the pink taco during the world series. and brings me beer. or no deal.

2002-01-17 12:28:04 PM  
the article: not amusing
you guys: also not amusing

I know stuff about football, although I haven't paid attention since Ozzie Newsome's FUMBLE. It was all downhill after that.

Not worth my time.
2002-01-17 12:28:49 PM  
If you are hot, you can come be my second wife. Just make sure to pick up a 6 pack of Polygamy Porter on your way!
2002-01-17 12:29:55 PM  
Kylie, You are definately the kind of woman that deserves to be called a real football fan. You may cum to my house and enjoy the game with me and my buds.
2002-01-17 12:32:22 PM  
I like to jest, but I must say I agree with Hisey on this one...
2002-01-17 12:35:24 PM's a deal...but I'm not really sure you can handle it if the world series goes to 7 games. Still, it's a chance I'm willing to take...
2002-01-17 12:41:06 PM  
Darn it I can't find that maids uniform...I guess a thong and 4" heels will have to do. Superbowl at my place in K.C. who is coming? haha
2002-01-17 12:48:32 PM  
Kylie, we'll need a picture of the thong and heals to verify first.

But apparently posting is worth your time? Just making sure no amusement got added to the thread? Lose your prozac today did ya?
2002-01-17 12:49:53 PM  
this article should be of particular interest to Farkette:

Displayed 50 of 94 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.