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(A stick)   Man sues over definition of "wooden stick"   (enquirer.com) divider line 68
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13383 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2004 at 2:23 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-06-18 11:32:37 PM  
While I think the law banning the stick is a little extreme, it certainly does not violate his free speech rights. He says his arm gets tired holding the sign over his head. I say get a step stool!

/waiting in the shadows with my paintball gun
 
2004-06-18 11:42:08 PM  
Because a stick could be used as a weapon...

That's simply inane.

But then again so is saying "no stick = civil rights violation".
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2004-06-18 11:49:52 PM  
I bet when the first wooden stick is found in Iraq, Dumbya will try to claim it's a WMD.
 
2004-06-18 11:54:03 PM  
The Great Legacy of Simon Leis lives on!!

/Sam Clemens once mentioned that if the world was about to end, he'd move to Cincinnati - because everything happens there 10 years later. Yes, they are stuck in time...
 
2004-06-19 12:24:25 AM  
Jim Albers, 52, of Northside, said the higher he holds his sign, the more people see his message at the anti-war rallies he attends.

Oh, good. He must have an original and provocative message to want it to tower above all others.

His sign - 14 inches by 22 inches, attached to a bamboo stick 36 inches long - said, "No blood for oil."

D'Oh.

Wave your freak flag high.
 
2004-06-19 02:04:10 AM  
A stick is a boomerang that doesn't come back.
 
2004-06-19 02:27:44 AM  
What is the term for when the government passes regulations, such as the banning of signs on sticks, that are designed to curtail Constitutional rights indirectly?
 
2004-06-19 02:28:18 AM  
why isn't there a retarded tag?...
 
2004-06-19 02:32:22 AM  
It all depends upon what your definition of is is...
 
2004-06-19 02:33:55 AM  
Oh, and BTW, he's not sueing over the definition of wooden stick, he's suing over the fact that he thinks the ban on them curtails free speech and assembly rights. (I will agree with that actually, because signage at such rallys is a well established method of communication.)
 
2004-06-19 02:37:00 AM  
This reminds me of the misconception about the origin of the phrase "rule of thumb"--that in Britain a husband was free to beat his wife as long as the rod wasn't any bigger round than his thumb.
 
2004-06-19 02:37:54 AM  
It cannot be more than three quarters of an inch in diameter.

t cannot be more than 2 inches wide.


How come a circular stick gets to be larger (diameter/width-wise) than a rectangular stick? Racism, RACISM I SAY!
 
2004-06-19 02:37:57 AM  
But what if he comes at you with a POINT-ED stick?
 
2004-06-19 02:40:55 AM  
I think he's in the right if for nothing else but that it's stupid to ban sticks because they could be used as a weapon. What couldn't be used as a weapon following that logic.
 
2004-06-19 02:41:47 AM  
...did the submitter RTFA?
 
2004-06-19 02:43:27 AM  
What couldn't be used as a weapon following that logic.

A question mark?
/Grammar nazi with strange grammar
 
2004-06-19 02:44:53 AM  
No limit on length? I'm shocked.

Now watch this drive.
 
2004-06-19 02:46:53 AM  
I can follow his logic, anyways. I'd just use a length of pipe. That'd sure show 'em.


/bugger curtails
 
2004-06-19 02:47:30 AM  
I protested the Iraq war because I don't agree with HOW or WHY it was done; note, I would support a worldwide effort to topple every totalitarian dictatorial state possible. That is what BOTH the war effort and the anti-war effort lack, they both lack a sense of reason. It seems that an incredible deal of my fellow protesters were just bored attention whores, and that sentiment never echoes so strongly as when shiat like this lawsuit goes down.

Mind you, it does seem a little silly to me that many Americans would defend the 2nd Amendment to the grave while at the same time endorsing some Draconian legislation against wooden sticks. Maybe the guy should just use an assault rifle to hold up his sign.
 
2004-06-19 02:50:18 AM  
Tell ya what, Freak, you take the sign, and I'll take the stick and we'll see who's better off.
 
2004-06-19 03:12:33 AM  
It seems that an incredible deal of my fellow protesters were just bored attention whores

In Cincinnati, anti-war activists seem to be, overwhelmingly, Christian religious activists. You won't even hear a word like "damn" from any speaker, and priests and nuns outnumber wannabe radicals. I've seen a hippie or two on the fringes too, but at the one event I attended, it was pretty much like any other church social event.

The law probably grew out of the infamous Reagan visit to Cincinnati in the 80s. Feds swarmed in and confiscated all anti-Reagan signs- even from people not in the area of the rally, because I guess people with signs that don't advertise Pepsi or Viagra must be Tur Ists.

The whole thing probably started when there was a protest downtown when Reagan held a meeting with the city's elite, charging $25,000 to attend the luncheon while souplines formed across the street. The Reaganites didn't like the ugly poor people being within sight of their $25,000 dinner, and Fountain Square has remained a contested zone to some extent.

My wife once worked for a company that hired people to carry out certain types of corporate hits on competitors, and once got to go along and observe their hit team disrupt a commercial event on Fountain Square that was organized by a competing company. No, of course it served no purpose. Frog was behind it.

The only group that pretty much gets to do whatever it wants on the square is... the KKK.
 
2004-06-19 03:14:01 AM  
Oh, and that reminds me of a guy I knew who went to college in West Virginia in the 1960s. He commented that "we had to put our peace symbols on baseball bats."
 
2004-06-19 03:17:31 AM  
So, people can walk around with guns but not wooden sticks?

It cannot be more than 2 inches wide. It cannot be more than a quarter of an inch thick. It cannot be more than three quarters of an inch in diameter.

That certainly eliminates me because of my huge penis.

/immature
 
2004-06-19 03:34:21 AM  
Corporate hits? What's a corporate hit? Is it anything cool like a russian mafia hit?
 
2004-06-19 03:39:52 AM  
tolenfark::

ever see "the boondock saints"? good referance to that rule there.
 
2004-06-19 03:47:12 AM  
What's a corporate hit?

Doing something malicious and borderline illegal to discredit or damage a competing corporation. Like raiding a competitor's dumpsters for usernames/passwords to accidentally drop into the laps of the right people, or to acquire competitive information from dumpster materials, or covering a competitor's advertising signs with graffiti, etc. Not that either of those specific things were done, at least not to my direct knowledge. I don't recall. That kind of thing probably isn't as common nowadays. Douglas Rushkoff describes some much kewler corporate hits in his book "Cyberia."
 
2004-06-19 04:00:50 AM  
It must be wood. It cannot be more than 2 inches wide. It cannot be more than a quarter of an inch thick. It cannot be more than three quarters of an inch in diameter. It must be blunt on both ends

Best paragraph I read all week!

Attach a dildo to the sign. Boom. Done. Problem solved!

 
2004-06-19 04:02:20 AM  
freak: "I think he's in the right if for nothing else but that it's stupid to ban sticks because they could be used as a weapon. What couldn't be used as a weapon following that logic."

Marshmellows, balloons, stuffed animals, silk scarves, etc.

/none of which make good signs
 
2004-06-19 04:05:21 AM  
I love the way FARKers overlook the obvious - probably on purpose. The point of the stick rules is for cases similar to that mentioned by sunlion above, where you have envious, jealous, stinking, worthless, scumbag losers on one side (the soupline), and successful, useful, productive people on the other (the $25,000/plate-ers). Competing rallies may turn to blows, whereupon the combatants may remove their sticks from their signs and go at it. It is perfectly reasonable to attempt to pass legislation which limits the probability of people getting thwacked. This does not abridge free speech. By that rationale, I could argue that I should be able to come to the demonstration with my stick attached to a 500Mton enhanced radiation thermonuclear device, or else a machete. It is reasonable to limit signage since these rallies are known to be contentious. I disagree with the argument that anything can be made into a weapon. Though not a prima facia argument: the point is what are the people likely to use to hold their sign? People aren't going to use an AK-47. Even if legal, that person would get "inciting a riot" if nothing else.

jbc:

I bet when the first wooden stick is found in Iraq, Dumbya will try to claim it's a WMD.

...better yet, what do I bet that when they found the Al-Samoud missiles in Iraq, you, jbc, argued that they were intended to deliver picnic baskets to Israel. Furthermore, "Dumbya" is a graduate of Harvard and Yale, and is president of the United States. If your calling him "Dumbya" is meant to deride him, then imagine what he, the graduate of Hardvard and Yale, would call you, the graduate of Podunk State at best, were he to know you. But you can rest safe in knowing that he will never know you, nor will anyone else. For President Bush will be remembered forever, and you will be forgotten before you are cold.

sunlion:

In Cincinnati, anti-war activists seem to be, overwhelmingly, Christian religious activists.

Maybe, but everywhere I have been, it has been a bunch of stinky leftists who have absolutely no use in this world. Since they have no use, they have plenty of time. So they occupy that plenty of time by stinking up the neighborhood protesting things which by their reasons given, enlightens all who surround to the nature of their complete misunderstanding of the issue at hand, and who, when pressed, will moreover reveal that they are not even very clear about which planet they are on.

Tirgoviste:

I protested the Iraq war because I don't agree with HOW or WHY it was done; note, I would support a worldwide effort to topple every totalitarian dictatorial state possible.

I agree a good toppling is the way to go every once in a while - just to keep those guys on their toes. If, once every few years, we deliver the heads of state of some place to their enemies so that their livers can be paraded on sticks (blunt on both ends, and not over 1/2" thick) through the streets of the capitol, I believe that would have a chilling effect on their screwing us over. Kind of like just showing a list, and saying, okay, in 6 months we topple, and right now the top of the list is...uhm...lemme check....yes, Syria is just ahead of Saudi Arabia, so it will be close. There would be a mad dash to be in 2nd place. But since it is a competition, they would each have to outdo the other, thus effectuating the intended design.

However, the blowback in cases like this can be awful. Say what you will about the Saudi Royal Family, and that nation, if we were to topple them, there is simply nobody to take their place except Al Queda. Why do you think it is that we haven't ALREADY toppled Saudi? After all, they provided most of the hijackers, and if you looked, I am sure you could find Atta and Attef and Al-Zawahiri there at times. Why do you think we are so friendly with Bandar? The fact is, even if the Royal Family hates us, they are STILL the best friends we have in that country.
 
2004-06-19 04:08:18 AM  
Sunlion
A quick google search for that book reveals that the author actually keeps the whole text for free reading online. I'll find some time in the next few days to look at it.

http://www.rushkoff.com/
 
2004-06-19 04:12:17 AM  
By Sharon Coolidge

She related to Butch?

 
2004-06-19 04:54:37 AM  
One could seriously perform quite a bit of bodily damage with a 36" bamboo stick. Given a couple of 24" sticks, you could REALLY hurt someone - as in knock the unconcious, even kill them.

Look up Kali/Escrima. Don't fark with the Phillipinos.
 
2004-06-19 05:51:36 AM  
Well Brockway, I'm not convinced that the $25000/platers are particularly more productive or useful, I think it might be more accurate to say that they are better at profiting off of productive peoples' labour. To be fair, they likely put in their share of hours to ensure that arrangement.
As far as Saudi Arabia, the world should just agree that totalitarian dictators (monarchs in particular) should be deposed of and sovereign representative democracies installed in their place. The problem is that China and North Korea would probably take some very strong issue with that proposal, and at least one of them has Nuke-yoo-lar bombs to divvy out, at least that's what that "End of the world" flash cartoon tells me. Maybe I shouldn't base my opinions regarding foreign policy on flash cartoons, oh well.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-06-19 06:44:47 AM  
How come a circular stick gets to be larger (diameter/width-wise) than a rectangular stick? Racism, RACISM I SAY!

A maximum allowable stick size clearly discriminates against blacks.
 
2004-06-19 06:50:26 AM  
It would be funny if he kept his stick short, blunt and thin to insure that it couldn't be used as a weapon, and at the same time had a concealed weapon license.
 
2004-06-19 06:53:38 AM  
somemoron

You could kill someone with an 6-inch stick if you knew where to hit. Hell, you don't need a stick, just punch them in the windpipe as hard as you can, they'll probably die.
 
2004-06-19 07:16:04 AM  
Tirgoviste:

Well, they wouldn't have to be very productive to be more productive than soup-liners, who are predominantly leeches, and a cancer on society who have never even tried to do anything worthwhile.

As far as regimes, I think democracy good, but monarchies are not too bad as long as they are not coercive. I know power corrupts, but it seems that a benevolent king might work in some situations.

Also, I can imagine some representative democracies that all voted to kill some tribe or another. That wouldn't be good. So I am just for justice and harmony - come what type of government will.
 
2004-06-19 07:29:28 AM  
Next time a protest rolls around, I'm showing up with a big bamboo stick. I'll write a little message somewhere on it, so it can be my sign. What, it's a weapon? It's a goddamn shoot! Wait, no, don't SHOOT! The Portland police would probably shoot anyway.
 
2004-06-19 07:39:06 AM  
Just tie the sign to a 12 gauge Remington 870 then. Hup two three four.
 
2004-06-19 07:47:06 AM  
Brockway, excellent rant above.

Also 'thwacked' is way underused in my opinion.
 
2004-06-19 08:20:20 AM  
RepNatComm
Marshmellows, balloons, stuffed animals, silk scarves, etc.


Marshmellows: heated untill liquid,, thrown in someones face.
Balloons: punctured, then held over someones face to suffocate them.
Stuffed Animals: doused in gas/kerosine, you can guess the rest.
silk scarves: dampend then used to strangle someone.
 
2004-06-19 08:35:07 AM  
$10 says a politician's reelection rally would convieniently find themselves outside the realm of this law based on some technicality.
 
2004-06-19 08:42:44 AM  
Make a weapon out of a marshmellow?

Umpossible.
 
2004-06-19 09:04:09 AM  


/obvious
 
2004-06-19 09:07:09 AM  
A quick google search for that book reveals that the author actually keeps the whole text for free reading online.

Right as I clicked to submit my post, I remembered that. A co-worker recommended it, saying that the author managed to connect the Internet, psychedelic drugs, Mandelbrot and fractals, hacking, the Grateful Dead, anti-corporate culture, and more- in a way that actually is a pretty kewl mental exercise.

The book went a bit more into drugs than it needed to, but I really found myself intruigued by the designer drug chemist tripping to improve upon the drug.

I'll find some time in the next few days to look at it.

You may find it a bit dated and slightly sensationalistic, but I strongly recommend the book. Everything else I've read by him has been heavily saturated in interesting ways of looking at things.

I'm really glad you mentioned his site (rushkoff.com), though, because I see he's added a blog since I was last there, and I'm really curious about his ideas of late. He thinks way outside the box while viewing it at an odd angle under Infrared Rose lighting!
 
2004-06-19 09:22:04 AM  
Solution...

Get some PVC tubing (plumbing department) or a nice chunk of lead pipe.

Drill your holes and bolt them together to the sign. Makes a better weapon too if you cut the ends off at a slant. Drill a few more small holes along the tube and if you need to shove it into a gut you can tap the sucker like a maple tree. BTW - Killing folks is wrong.

/Laws need to be subject to commonsense thinking as the obvious ways around the letter of the law forget the spirit of the law (preventing folks from injuring each other with a sign attached to a pointy object.
 
2004-06-19 09:42:21 AM  
Farkers amaze me....... arguing over a dam stick when the world is going to hell in a handbasket .
 
2004-06-19 09:46:12 AM  
Yes, the world needs another "no blood for oil" sign, and to have it higher than the rest. If the jackass is going to file a lawsuit, he could at least come up with something more original. That's just common decency.
 
2004-06-19 09:47:57 AM  
Frigaliment Importing Co. v. BNS International Sales Corp., 190 F.Supp. 116 (S.D.N.Y. 1960)

"The issue is, what is chicken?"

It gets better.

/pretentious law student
 
2004-06-19 09:55:01 AM  
Yeah, it's crazy that this guy wants to carry a typical picket sign. We don't like what he has to say so it's a stupid issue. Surely the dirty "$25,000-a-platers" wouldn't be upset if this law applied to the demonstrators they hire to support bush. They'd fully support the law then.
 
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