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3449712 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2001 at 10:47 AM (13 years ago)   |  Favorite   |  Watch    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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  2011-11-18 08:19:22 AM
Did I miss somebody's birthday? Again?
 
Ni!
  2011-11-18 09:22:07 AM
i1223.photobucket.com
 
  2011-11-18 09:44:05 AM
Happiest of birthdays to you dear lefty.

You bring the silliness which is cool.
 
  2011-11-18 09:45:42 AM
That's kind of wrong Ni!. ;)
 
  2011-11-18 10:22:07 AM
"kind of"?

And yet I've seen wronger.

Even the word "wronger" is wrong.
 
  2011-11-18 12:03:28 PM
Happy Birthday!
 
  2011-11-18 03:33:07 PM
"Wronger" is my middle name.

HB Lefty! May your festivities be ... um ... my middle name.
 
  2011-11-18 05:40:46 PM
i149.photobucket.com
 
  2011-11-18 06:45:45 PM
www.perrydrake.com
 
  2011-11-19 05:41:22 PM
"I'm a Dapper DAN man!" (new window)

/I fopped the forum
//But Ididn't fop that dep you teeee!
///No, no, NO!
 
  2011-11-20 08:00:58 AM
You killed it.

Again.
 
  2011-11-20 09:12:05 AM
img85.imageshack.us
 
  2011-11-20 08:14:27 PM
You'd think that drink would have brought it back to life, but here it is Sunday evening again.
 
  2011-11-20 09:32:23 PM
OMG I missed my 10th Farkiversary YESTERDAY.

KIDS. LAWN. OFF. NAO.
 
  2011-11-20 10:28:11 PM

zorgon: OMG I missed my 10th Farkiversary YESTERDAY.

KIDS. LAWN. OFF. NAO.


I didn't forget, but the bunny is completely over-boiled now. Jerk.
 
  2011-11-20 10:37:13 PM
10 years. Man, have you farked up big time.
 
  2011-11-20 10:47:07 PM
crap, i'm even older than zorgon?

*weeps silently into his metamucil*
 
  2011-11-21 01:20:31 AM
Frak, man. I should have brought flowers or something. Oh well. Booze it is!
 
  2011-11-21 08:56:23 AM
ass.
 
  2011-11-21 09:53:41 AM
^^^ That'd be my preference over booze.

"Can't we have both?" "Why not?" -- Trading Places
 
  2011-11-21 01:03:38 PM

h2oincfs: ass.


... is the prize for surviving ten years of Fark? :hmm:

Whose.
 
Ni!
  2011-11-21 01:04:18 PM
Feffer's, naturally.
 
Ni!
  2011-11-21 01:05:33 PM
Or was it Hisey's. Hm. Someone's was going through a window....
 
  2011-11-21 01:19:10 PM
Sigh. That really was a great idea.

/priming the pump of reconsideration
 
  2011-11-21 02:02:52 PM
i may still have that picture on a hard drive somewhere.
 
  2011-11-21 03:02:11 PM
HAHA, Y'all are OLD!

What Knot: I didn't forget, but the bunny is completely over-boiled now. Jerk.


This cracked me RIGHT up.
 
  2011-11-21 04:36:17 PM
There were also some awesome photoshops of that picture.

Will be great to show their kid ...
 
  2011-11-21 06:33:22 PM
i.imgur.com


WTFOMG, d00d called us n00b5!
 
  2011-11-21 06:34:31 PM
Pretend today is Friday. The announcement is that I liberated two new haxorz from the Lex Humane Society.
 
  2011-11-21 07:37:50 PM
that's why you can't have nice things.

i.imgur.com
 
  2011-11-21 07:49:20 PM
i623.photobucket.com
 
  2011-11-21 07:50:53 PM
i84.photobucket.com
 
  2011-11-21 07:53:29 PM
i235.photobucket.com
 
  2011-11-21 09:47:53 PM
img259.imageshack.us
 
  2011-11-21 10:31:00 PM
www.pinktentacle.com
 
  2011-11-22 08:25:31 AM
See, That right there, is why I love this place so much.....
 
  2011-11-22 09:41:07 AM
I love it cause pants are optional.
 
  2011-11-22 10:54:16 AM
I'm not wearing any pants; film at 11
 
  2011-11-22 02:51:19 PM
I approve of all of these messages.
 
  2011-11-22 02:56:46 PM
1) Introduce new p1g5 to Fark.
2)
3) Fark gets broken.

They're all really pissed off right now. I bought a ton of veggies for Pigsgetting and then told them they'd have to wait until Friday since I'll be out on Thursday. Yeah, not going over so well.
 
  2011-11-22 03:01:56 PM
I thought Fark broke cuz Mike wasn't wearing pants.
 
  2011-11-22 03:18:58 PM
If that were true then Fark would be broken a lot more.
Er.
So I hear. From reliable sources. oh dear
/goes to pick more dandilion greens
 
  2011-11-22 03:48:44 PM
If only I could blame it on the Makers whitedog I drank last night.
 
  2011-11-22 05:01:03 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-11-22 06:32:54 PM

leftyblonde: [i59.photobucket.com image 338x500]


HAHA, Lefty...There is a WHOLE lot of wrong going on in that picture. Who made that?
 
  2011-11-22 08:57:38 PM
I made it using ArcSoft Funhouse.

/I blame it on Mike's mom?
 
  2011-11-22 10:17:10 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-11-22 10:17:25 PM
Nothing bad has ever happened as a result of being pantsless. Nothing.
 
  2011-11-22 10:18:47 PM
I am sooooooo close to a BINGO already.
 
  2011-11-23 12:46:40 AM

What Knot: Nothing bad has ever happened as a result of being pantsless. Nothing.


i beg to differ.



*GIS at your own risk.
 
  2011-11-23 07:37:33 AM

Anderrhea: Yeah, not going over so well.


Find out who's behind the insurrection. Grill the ringleader. Problem solved.
 
  2011-11-23 08:54:59 AM
Test
 
  2011-11-23 09:03:30 AM
Try testing here
 
  2011-11-23 09:09:26 AM
Is this thing on?

Hellllooooooooo?

Testing one-two-theeeee....

*tap**tap**tap**tap*
 
  2011-11-23 09:24:04 AM
*fap**fap**fap**fap*
 
  2011-11-23 10:09:28 AM

OregonVet: *tap**tap**tap**tap*


The Mad Highlander: *fap**fap**fap**fap*


*rap**rap**rap**rap*:

style.popcrunch.com
 
  2011-11-23 10:27:05 AM

skink: OregonVet: *tap**tap**tap**tap*

The Mad Highlander: *fap**fap**fap**fap*

*rap**rap**rap**rap*:

[style.popcrunch.com image 402x600]


i.imgur.com
 
  2011-11-23 10:37:24 AM

pdrake: i beg to differ.


I stand corrected.

Also, happy Thanksgiving Eve, forumonsters.

I am fasting in anticipation.
 
  2011-11-23 11:04:22 AM

Anderrhea: skink: OregonVet: *tap**tap**tap**tap*

The Mad Highlander: *fap**fap**fap**fap*

*rap**rap**rap**rap*:

[style.popcrunch.com image 402x600]

[i.imgur.com image 487x478]


farm6.static.flickr.com
 
  2011-11-23 11:21:40 AM
fc08.deviantart.net
 
  2011-11-23 01:10:36 PM
www.geography.wisc.edu
www.geography.wisc.edu
www.geography.wisc.edu
 
  2011-11-23 03:46:55 PM
i137.photobucket.com
i137.photobucket.com
i137.photobucket.com
 
  2011-11-23 09:46:34 PM
okay, so, googling "flap flap flap" led me someplace...unexpected...

and so very, very nsfw.
 
  2011-11-24 03:39:52 AM
what's a good coagulant?
 
  2011-11-24 04:38:43 AM
Spinach (Spinacia oleracea) is an annual plant originating in the Middle East - more precisely from Afghanistan and Turkistan. Some assign its origin to the land of Persia - presently Iran. Long ago, the Arabians used it against throat and lung affections. In the 8th century, spinach was grown in Spain and France and in the 11th century it reached Sicily. In present times, the herb has become much appreciated because, according to research, fresh spinach leaves are anticancerigenic. It is a very renowned plant for its rich iron content. The iron that is contained in spinach (in its natural state) is very good for young children because when administrated at a pharmacy, it can easily be overdosed. Little do most known that apart from minerals and vitamins, spinach also contains oxalic acid - a substance that inhibits the absorption of calcium into the body.
 
  2011-11-24 08:01:09 AM
img823.imageshack.us
 
  2011-11-24 09:59:54 AM

OregonVet: [img823.imageshack.us image 640x473]


Holy HELL, that is ugly!

PDrake: We used corn starch on a dog with a bleeding ear, once...It worked.
 
  2011-11-24 11:26:14 AM
Actually, spinach doesn't have much iron in it at all. The iron comes from the dirt left behind that the washing missed.

Also, the whole tryptophan schtick is a myth.

/buzzkill strikes again

*slaps some fresh batteries in Drinkbot*
*sets drink settings to Ozzy*
*brines the couch in 151 rum*

Have fun today!
 
  2011-11-24 11:31:19 AM
Fark ate my link. Feh.
 
  2011-11-24 04:24:27 PM
I just saw this. Funny. static.someecards.com

Gobble, Gobble
 
  2011-11-25 09:28:40 AM
What the HELL am I doing up this early?
 
  2011-11-25 10:26:51 AM
Drinking coffee?
 
  2011-11-25 10:41:14 AM
Yes. Also, steak and potatoes for breakfast.
 
  2011-11-25 11:05:26 AM
I'm having pumpkin pie :)
 
  2011-11-25 11:38:47 AM

mybabysmomma: I'm having pumpkin pie :)


I'll SEE your pumpkin pie, and RAISE you chocolate cake!
 
  2011-11-25 11:55:22 AM
IHAVENOCHOCOLATECAKE!

BUT, we will be making brownies with almonds in shortly,,,AND POT ROAST!
 
  2011-11-25 12:26:04 PM
Just put a venison roast in the crock pot.
 
  2011-11-25 12:27:45 PM
Mine's just beef, but venison,,,yum!
 
  2011-11-25 02:08:12 PM

The Mad Highlander: Just put a venison roast in the crock pot.


Been hankering to cook a venison roast, lately. Wish I had a bigger car ;-)
 
Ni!
  2011-11-25 10:14:26 PM
I never did cook this turkey. We'll do that tomorrow while we put up the tree.

/SO glad to be home.
 
Ni!
  2011-11-25 10:32:18 PM
I'm Farking in my bed!
 
  2011-11-25 11:00:42 PM
Square.
 
Ni!
  2011-11-26 07:36:17 PM
I'm old.
 
  2011-11-26 07:53:07 PM
Me too
 
  2011-11-26 08:21:06 PM
Me three
 
  2011-11-26 09:19:15 PM
I'm old enough to know not tell you how old I am.

/Get on my lawn
//The sarlacc needs feeding
 
SGF
  2011-11-26 11:12:40 PM
Bacon
 
  2011-11-27 11:48:03 AM
Make your own. I'm farking hung over....
www.ahistoryofdrinking.com
 
  2011-11-28 02:19:46 PM
Uh, hi. Um, if anyone - like, oh, the homicide investigators - asks, I was here the whole time, mmmkay? thx.
 
  2011-11-28 03:25:29 PM
um, ok........
*crashes on the couch*
This has been the Monday from hell.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
  2011-11-28 04:29:02 PM
quick, zorgon, plant the incriminating evidence on her!

i'll stand over here.
 
  2011-11-28 05:45:44 PM

h2oincfs: quick, zorgon, plant the incriminating evidence on her!

i'll stand over here.


3.bp.blogspot.com
That's right schweetheart, you're taking the fall.
 
  2011-11-29 01:46:15 AM
what day is it?
 
  2011-11-29 02:27:57 AM
Depends on your time zone. For me, it's Godsdamnitsnotyetfriday.
 
  2011-11-29 02:29:24 AM
so, i've been downgraded to a lurker.

lefty, it' my worst day.

i still care about all you people>.

i'll try and bring the funny and topical back.

hey, look . . . . (i actually made this one)

fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net
 
  2011-11-29 02:31:03 AM
i guess i still can't use html tags.

i blame it on the tiny keys and my big, fat fingers.

you know what they say about guys with big, fat fingers . . . .
 
  2011-11-29 06:55:44 AM
They wear big gloves?
 
  2011-11-29 09:55:52 AM
Their nose holes are really big?
 
  2011-11-29 09:56:24 AM
They play piano REALLY LOUD?
 
  2011-11-29 09:59:07 AM

pdrake:
[fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net image 600x800]


img607.imageshack.us
 
  2011-11-29 10:43:18 AM
I now have a new game to play on Facebook. I find the most annoying, personal, ranty status/statii I can and comment with "Who sings that?" Then convince them that their status is a song.
 
  2011-11-29 10:46:48 AM
Just Great, My Tuesday is not much better.
All ready for work, got the coat on, gloves, key's in hand, and the damn dead bolt will not unlock all the way,
Yank on that damn thing, work the lock back n forth, hand hurts, shoulder hurts.
Grabbed a screwdriver (drank it) and got the lock off as cold air shoots inside.
crap.
Got it back together, just as the sweat starts ruining my shirt.
Why can I not retire already?
oh, Tuesday, any thoughts, new lock or try and fix the crappy one I have??????
at least it will warm up into the 30's today, meh!
 
  2011-11-29 11:02:52 AM
I vote for new lock, NEW LOCK!, NEW LOCK!, NEW LOCK!
 
  2011-11-29 11:05:29 AM
Here, it will be in the low 60s as I reach my low 40s, although it sometimes feels the other way around.

Today, I would like to spend at least one hour doing nothing but staring at SnorgTees ads.

*puts on drool cloth*
 
  2011-11-29 11:26:09 AM
There ain't but...One way out, Triva?

I would have called in trapped.
 
  2011-11-29 11:43:34 AM
I vote for taking your jacket off. JACKET OFF! JACKET OFF! JACKET OFF!
 
  2011-11-29 11:44:25 AM
I thought about that, no paid time left this year.
I could have taken the plastic insulation off the patio door I suppose, but you can't lock that after your out.

I was telling this to some co-workers, and I was told of "Peggy" who got her car started, but forgot something in the house, got out, shut door, not knowing that her keys were in there and it locked her out. HER LONG SKIRT WAS ALSO IN THE DOOR. So she had to either take off the skirt or rip it. but then what, her house was locked up, and her key's were in the car, (pre cell phone day's)
I guess I don't have it THAT bad.
 
  2011-11-29 12:06:00 PM
Um

yeah.

Hmof.
 
  2011-11-29 12:20:58 PM
i vote for pants off.
 
  2011-11-29 12:32:12 PM
Want a jacket for free?
 
  2011-11-29 12:41:01 PM
get back to me in february when it's down in the 50°s.
 
  2011-11-29 12:41:22 PM
I change my vote to dance off! DANCE OFF! DANCE OFF! DANCE OFF!
 
  2011-11-29 12:43:18 PM
Smirnoff! Smirnoff! Smirnoff!
 
  2011-11-29 12:55:42 PM

DaveOfTheHillPeople: ...as I reach my low 40s...


LOL. Happy Birthday, Dave.
 
  2011-11-29 01:07:37 PM

trivaavirt: Want a jacket for free?


Yes. Please meet me in the hottub and deliver the jack-it.
 
  2011-11-29 01:14:08 PM
ewww
 
  2011-11-29 04:18:36 PM
FA LA LA LA LA,,,LA, LA, LA, LA

^
^^
^^^
^^^^
^^^^^
n
 
  2011-11-29 04:49:04 PM
some days i'd like to cock punch john knoll.
 
  2011-11-29 05:44:31 PM
Thanks, OVet. :)
 
  2011-11-29 07:23:01 PM
So what about those water spray systems in the produce section? Seems to me that they're trying to add weight to the vegetables.

Do you think they'd object if I brought a salad spinner and dried all the veg before checking out?
 
  2011-11-29 09:38:46 PM

ski9600: Seems to me that they're trying to add weight to the vegetables.


I think my pot dealer used to do the same thing!
 
  2011-11-29 11:31:39 PM
Bean stew and living alone. Two great things that go great together.
 
  2011-11-29 11:36:57 PM

Anderrhea: Bean stew and living alone. Two great things that go great together.


You DO realize I can be invasive. Especially when beans are
 
  2011-11-29 11:49:24 PM
Hahahaha. Even the p1g5 are offended. If anyone breaks in here looking for Christmas loot, they'll be staggering away with nothing but regret and horror.
 
SGF
  2011-11-30 12:27:04 AM
www.one-leggedsandpiper.com
The horror... The horror
 
  2011-11-30 02:26:11 PM
27.media.tumblr.com
 
  2011-11-30 03:17:47 PM
Dog's, I tells ya, just dog's.



Totally freeked me out, just a bit :-P
 
  2011-12-01 09:08:54 AM
BOING!
 
  2011-12-01 09:21:41 AM
i.imgur.com
 
  2011-12-01 11:35:25 AM
That veteran's jacket doubles as acupuncture treatment. 0_0

Here's another sign that I am now old: I still play Kingdom of Loathing. But hey, for those of you who have been away from KoL for some time, it's Crimbo time again & that means seasonal loot! The Advent calendar has already appeared & it's, shall we say, different this time. :)
 
  2011-12-02 10:16:32 AM
Man, no one kills a 4rum like me.

*hangs head low*
*re-ties shoes while he's down there*
 
  2011-12-02 10:59:55 AM

DaveOfTheHillPeople: Man, no one kills a 4rum like me.


Link (new window)

:P
 
  2011-12-02 12:24:59 PM
Aaaaahhh, Carly Simon's overbite is coming to get meeeeeeee!!!!!

/caffeine consumption reaching hallucinogenic stage
 
  2011-12-02 12:58:58 PM
Yee haw! I'm going to be removing the pen divider so the pigs can get to know each other AND decorating the Pigsmas tree at the same time. Because nothing says "It's the Holiday Season" like brawls and yelling.
 
  2011-12-02 01:10:32 PM
*sneaks chives and catnip into the mix*
 
  2011-12-02 02:40:26 PM
*chrrung, chrung* Forum killa, qu'est-ce que c'est, fa fa faaa faw fa fa fa fuh fa faaah, betta: run run run run, run run awayyyyy, oh oh oh aaiiiii aye aye yie yieeeyeeahh *chrung chunk chrung-a chunka*
 
  2011-12-02 02:50:38 PM
oh yeah? (new window)
 
  2011-12-02 03:02:11 PM
The hell was that? Points for mullets and stunned children.
 
  2011-12-02 03:28:02 PM
 
  2011-12-03 12:12:29 AM
I will break into your house and tear your wife in half. heh.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-04 09:23:00 AM
i1223.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-04 10:27:24 AM
www.savoryreviews.com
 
  2011-12-05 08:59:45 AM
Ding Dong
 
  2011-12-05 09:54:35 AM
One ringy dingy.
Two ringy dingy.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-05 02:02:43 PM
Ringy dingy?

i1223.photobucket.com

Singy Bingy!
 
  2011-12-05 04:41:55 PM
i.imgur.com

Blingy Blingy
 
Ni!
  2011-12-06 07:30:21 AM
i1223.photobucket.com

Flingy dinghy!
 
  2011-12-06 09:18:04 AM
okay, watched "day watch" last night.

what the...?
 
  2011-12-06 10:34:36 AM
www.videogamemm.com
Springy thingy!
 
  2011-12-06 03:48:30 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-06 06:09:56 PM

h2oincfs: okay, watched "day watch" last night.

what the...?


I think you were supposed to watch the other one, first.
Not that that would have helped much.
 
  2011-12-06 07:30:42 PM

zorgon: h2oincfs: okay, watched "day watch" last night.

what the...?

I think you were supposed to watch the other one, first.
Not that that would have helped much.


i did. that's why i watched the second one, hoping that it would make more sense.

it was worse.

it would probably help if i had more of a background in russian folklore, but i don't.
 
  2011-12-06 08:29:00 PM
Boo.
 
  2011-12-06 08:41:20 PM
aaaaah!
 
  2011-12-06 08:48:33 PM
*soils armor*
 
  2011-12-06 09:27:24 PM
Night watch and Day watch were awesome. The subtitles even more so. But then I loved Repo Man and Southland Tales, so, approach with caution or something like that.

And yes, you need to see them in order to understand the bit with the witch.
 
  2011-12-06 09:35:55 PM
Also, Madonna at the Stuporbowl. Let's all have a prayer circle so her wardrobe won't malfunction. Her nipples probably look like reconstituted dried plums that got stomped on by the entire Duggar family.
 
  2011-12-06 09:37:14 PM
Bit with the witch .........

Hmmm. Would you like to play a game, Fark Filter?
 
  2011-12-07 09:12:44 AM

Anderrhea: Night watch and Day watch were awesome. The subtitles even more so. But then I loved Repo Man and Southland Tales, so, approach with caution or something like that.

And yes, you need to see them in order to understand the bit with the witch.


i also enjoyed repo man. never saw southland tales.

i did watch them in order, and i thought they were a lot of fun, but i had a lot of trouble keeping up with who was who, and what side everybody was on.
 
  2011-12-07 11:36:07 AM
No mention on Fark of the Mythbusters Cannonade... It is a cover up!
 
  2011-12-07 12:29:18 PM
yesterday, 3rd headline down
 
  2011-12-07 12:50:28 PM
what blows is that day watch is only available by dvd on netflix and night watch is available as instant streaming.

wtf?
 
  2011-12-07 01:56:07 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-07 02:47:01 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-07 03:04:40 PM
Waiter, I'll have one of what that ... hamster ... is drinking.
 
  2011-12-07 03:09:18 PM
Tastes fishy.....
 
  2011-12-07 09:45:46 PM
today, i was called a "magnificent bastard" for the first time.
 
  2011-12-07 11:37:03 PM
For me it's one or the other. Rarely at the same time. But often at least one.
 
  2011-12-07 11:42:09 PM
I've been called a bastard, magnificently!
 
  2011-12-08 12:39:12 AM
Magnified bastardization.
 
  2011-12-08 01:59:02 AM
i275.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-08 02:02:21 AM
i718.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-08 02:04:15 AM
i236.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-08 06:57:14 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
  2011-12-08 03:07:45 PM
I hosed the 4um :(
 
  2011-12-08 04:04:11 PM
it's ok. the winter holidays are here. all the relatives will drop by, and the place needed a good hosing down.

plus, i haven't seen e-man in a bit, and the potted plants are looking a little thirsty.
 
  2011-12-08 07:07:28 PM
If any of *my* relatives stop by this didn't happen, and I ...
www.zuguide.com
was never here.
 
  2011-12-08 09:16:08 PM
hey, h2o I told my offspring about the muppet you and she wanted to see it...do you still have that pic somewhere I can show her?
 
  2011-12-08 09:55:10 PM

mybabysmomma: hey, h2o I told my offspring about the muppet you and she wanted to see it...do you still have that pic somewhere I can show her?


can you refresh my memory? was it on here, or fb?
 
  2011-12-09 12:10:41 AM
zorgon's not here, man.
 
  2011-12-09 08:01:39 AM
He's here, all right. You just aren't noticing him.

He's a sneaker.
 
  2011-12-09 09:21:10 AM
does he smell?


h20, I don't think we are on fb together,,,are we?
 
  2011-12-09 10:00:53 AM
Like feet wrapped in leathery burnt bacon.

Link (new window)
 
  2011-12-09 10:16:33 AM
Annnnd now my morning is shot.

Link (new window)
Link (new window)
 
  2011-12-09 10:31:03 AM

mybabysmomma: does he smell?


h20, I don't think we are on fb together,,,are we?


i don't know. :( i can't keep screen names and real names straight.

anyway, i guess i don't have that pic. sorry.
 
  2011-12-09 01:33:48 PM
What in the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?

What Knot: zorgon's not here, man.


Open up, it's me, man, I got the stuff, can you hurry up a bit, I think I saw a cop downstairs!
 
  2011-12-09 01:42:09 PM
Dave's not here, man!
 
  2011-12-09 02:05:36 PM

trivaavirt: Dave's not here, man!


i154.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-09 02:07:43 PM
i41.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-09 02:09:57 PM
They got him chained up man!
 
  2011-12-09 10:14:12 PM

zorgon: What in the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?


Urban dictionary has a very disturbing alternate definition, FYI.
 
  2011-12-10 01:02:25 PM
Never pick a day to make kimchi when you've run out of it. The anticipation is killing me.
 
  2011-12-10 11:49:09 PM

What Knot: zorgon: What in the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?

Urban dictionary has a very disturbing alternate definition, FYI.


That's so ... metal.
Let's make robot love, darling.
 
  2011-12-11 01:00:59 AM
I did read the "Posting Policy":

"A note on off-topic posts: There are multiple Forums provided for off topic chatter and questions: Fark Forum, TotalFark Forum, Fark Sports Forum, Fark Tech Forum, Fark Showbiz Forum, Fark Politics Forum, Fark Parties Forum, and Fark Photoshop Forum. (The complete list is on the sidebar of the front page of Fark.) Questions/advice about Photoshops should be confined to the Photoshop Forum."
 
  2011-12-11 01:06:27 AM
so, you can read then?
 
  2011-12-11 01:58:33 AM
This reading thing sounds intriguing. But I'm not sure if I want to go off topic in an off topic forum, because recursion makes my head go all swimmy.
 
  2011-12-11 09:15:09 AM
I need to learn how to read.
 
  2011-12-11 10:38:13 AM
i26.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-11 10:54:02 AM
i116.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-11 01:19:53 PM

leftyblonde: [i116.photobucket.com image 378x298]


This!
 
  2011-12-11 10:58:55 PM
BOO YAH!!!!!

common1.csnimages.com

Christmas present to us from my Mom.
 
  2011-12-12 09:43:54 AM

zorgon: That's so ... metal.
Let's make robot love, darling.

 
  2011-12-12 09:45:21 AM

What Knot: zorgon: That's so ... metal.
Let's make robot love, darling.


Stoopid Monday morning html fail.

obligatory assimilation joke with eyebrow waggle here
 
  2011-12-12 10:48:16 AM
skink MAKE US SOME COOKIES!
 
  2011-12-12 11:52:00 AM
i252.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-12 12:35:54 PM
www.dont-panic.co.uk
 
  2011-12-12 01:38:41 PM
Bite my shiny metal ... NOT WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING

/is going to get plenty of mileage off this Aluminum Falcon thing
 
  2011-12-12 09:52:31 PM
yay, 9 years.
 
  2011-12-12 10:18:16 PM
Nice, Perry! Good to see you still here.
 
  2011-12-12 11:52:04 PM
idiotflashback.files.wordpress.com
 
  2011-12-13 10:41:09 AM
Ok, need some help here.....
ex-so and his brother have been passing a fruitcake back and forth for almost 20 years. (yup, hard as a rock) The thing is, every time it is passed, it has to be encased in such a way that it is hard, if not impossible to open the wrapping. Past years it's been welded in a box, put in a coffee can of cement, etc.
Any thoughts?


It IS Tuesday after all.....

yes, i come here for brilliant ideas.
 
  2011-12-13 10:55:50 AM
Lamination?
Tupperware that's been melted shut with a hot glue gun?
One of those piñatas that won't even open when assaulted with a hacksaw?
 
  2011-12-13 10:58:52 AM
[Like]
 
  2011-12-13 11:39:39 AM
Bake it inside another fruitcake?
 
  2011-12-13 12:26:53 PM

honk: Bake it inside another fruitcake?


Or a turkey. Turcaken?
 
  2011-12-13 12:30:28 PM
papier mache it
 
  2011-12-13 12:44:00 PM
encase it in resin.
 
  2011-12-13 12:51:31 PM
Lamputation?
 
  2011-12-13 12:58:16 PM
What scientific processes would be necessary to fossilize fruitcake? Would it leave an impression like an animal fossil, or take on the three dimensions like petrified wood?
 
  2011-12-13 01:04:15 PM
All fruitcakes have been fossilized since 1873.
 
  2011-12-13 01:12:18 PM
Make a chimney with real bricks. Brick up the fruitcake inside it.
 
  2011-12-13 01:21:44 PM
Wonderful idea(s).....

so much better than put it in a small box, then put it in a bigger box, then.......you get it.
 
  2011-12-13 01:42:36 PM
ok, here is how it's going to go.....

Take Fruitcake, place it in the carcas of a turkey (frozen) place the Turcaken in large tupperware bowl and hot glue the lid on it.
Paper mache the tupperware into the shape of giant Fruitcake.
brick it in, unsing resin as the mortar.

What am i missing.
 
  2011-12-13 02:08:33 PM
carbonite.
 
  2011-12-13 02:25:58 PM
Making into the base for a gigantic rubber band ball that you can bounce around the yard?
 
  2011-12-13 02:29:57 PM

JoeCamelToe: Lamputation?


*golfclap*
 
  2011-12-13 05:16:05 PM

The Mad Highlander: carbonite.


I came in here to say that.

trivaavirt: What am i missing.


For the love of God, Montresor!
 
  2011-12-13 09:08:58 PM
I know some guys. They'll make sure no one opens that cake.

*sniff*
*tie adjustment*
*wipe eye brow with pinky*
 
  2011-12-14 12:25:16 AM
Put it in aqua regia and pretend it's a Nobel prize.
 
  2011-12-14 12:43:09 AM
give it to them in a combination safe, along with a stethoscope.

zorgon: The Mad Highlander: carbonite.

I came in here to say that.

trivaavirt: What am i missing.

For the love of God, Montresor!


i love you, man.
 
  2011-12-14 02:13:41 PM
my love for zorgon has killed the 4um, just like everything else it touches.

o! discordia!
 
  2011-12-14 02:31:06 PM
There's probably medication for that.
 
  2011-12-14 03:04:22 PM
"probably"?

no thanks. i learned my lesson about drug trials back at uk.

although the gills and nictitating membranes have been awesome, the feathers sprouted in a very...uncomfortable place.
 
  2011-12-14 11:23:41 PM
Sexy.
 
  2011-12-15 07:23:54 AM
Archaeopteryxy.
 
  2011-12-15 09:01:44 AM
Ichthoidexy's midnight runners.
 
  2011-12-15 09:10:50 AM
"come on erliansaurus"?
 
  2011-12-15 09:12:07 AM

h2oincfs: my love for zorgon has killed the 4um, just like everything else it touches.

o! discordia!


That must make masturbation hard.....like Midas.
 
  2011-12-15 11:04:09 AM
you're confusing sex with love again.
 
  2011-12-15 12:29:57 PM

h2oincfs: you're confusing sex with love again.


Hence divorced twice.
 
  2011-12-15 12:38:45 PM
see, now, that's just not fair. all you guys out there, hogging all the divorces for yourselves, and i haven't even been divorced ONCE.

when is it my turn, huh? WHEN?
 
  2011-12-15 12:49:30 PM
Someone has to keep the quota up.
 
  2011-12-15 12:50:48 PM
How about right after I forward some intercepted (and possibly forged) email between you and . . . who? Morgan Fairchild? You like Morgan Fairchild?

No. Let me pick somebody really hideous. Add insult to injury.

Well, long story short . . . I'm working on it for you. Thank me later.
 
  2011-12-15 01:18:41 PM
Bruce Jenner!
 
  2011-12-15 01:26:36 PM
honk, could you find someone for me to marry first, and then go with that plan? and i would prefer my e-mail indiscretions be with teh sigourney weaver; everybody i know has been married to mrs. fairchild, apparently.
 
  2011-12-15 01:36:49 PM
Sure, I can find somebody for you to marry . . . but you won't like it. I have a cruel sense of humor.
 
  2011-12-15 02:01:34 PM
so i get to suffer before, during and after?

WINNING!
 
  2011-12-15 02:01:52 PM
Morgan Freeman
 
  2011-12-15 02:23:51 PM
M. Emmett Walsh or Brian Dennehy.
 
  2011-12-15 06:25:44 PM
Marriage: It's the right thing to do!

www.nndb.com

/Satisfaction guaranteed
 
  2011-12-15 07:50:38 PM

skink: Marriage: It's the right thing to do!

[www.nndb.com image 362x273]

/Satisfaction guaranteed


*swoon*
 
  2011-12-16 03:32:01 AM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-16 07:32:04 AM
Marriage gave me the Beetus.
 
  2011-12-16 08:46:43 AM
It gave me the fetus.
3 of em.
 
  2011-12-16 09:10:41 AM
It gave me white hairs and a fetus and dogs.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-16 09:25:14 AM
Most of y'all know what it gave me.... :P
 
  2011-12-16 09:42:35 AM
It has repeatedly given me freedom from my worldly possessions. So I have THAT going for me, which is nice.
 
  2011-12-16 10:38:15 AM
But you still have your other-worldly possessions, right?
 
Ni!
  2011-12-16 04:00:36 PM
I still think I win. Sort of...
 
  2011-12-16 04:17:43 PM
winNi!ng.
 
  2011-12-18 01:17:39 AM

Ni!: I still think I win. Sort of...


You still hold the title of most badass mama in thread 1. In fact the trophy has been retired.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-18 10:20:30 AM
Did I tell you about the time I nearly took out a horde of bikers for my Shnookie? It wasn't that long ago, actually. We were at his dad's funeral, and suddenly he disappeared. His brother said that his dad's biker friends had shown up and Shnookie had to go and "have words" with them. Well! I wasn't leaving my man alone with what I assumed were bikers causing trouble, and went to storm out there and take care of business. My man needed backup, after all.

Turns out, and this is probably for the best, that Shnookie was just telling The Guys that his grandma might have gotten upset at their lack of dress code. Asses were spared that day.
 
  2011-12-19 05:43:09 AM
Marriage gave me .... about a million amusing stories about my cluelessness to tell my friends. Well, they're the only ones amused by it - but still.
 
  2011-12-19 06:11:31 AM
i.imgur.com
 
  2011-12-19 08:00:09 AM
. . . now with bits of real . . .
 
  2011-12-19 12:35:53 PM

honk: . . . now with bits of real . . .


Flavor?
 
  2011-12-19 02:45:12 PM
Grace anatomy has never been good.
 
  2011-12-19 03:43:16 PM
Knowledge is power...France is bacon.
 
  2011-12-19 04:12:26 PM
WTF is up with the damn Tassimo ad? I go to fark because I don't have freakin' popup adds I CAN'T KILL. At least put a freakin' mute on the damn thing.
 
  2011-12-19 05:58:19 PM
yeah!

dam fark!
 
  2011-12-19 08:20:19 PM
I find your lack of farkback disturbing.
 
  2011-12-20 10:07:39 AM
I think I broke it.
Or maybe somebody spilled soda on the UPSs again.
 
  2011-12-20 10:25:51 AM
Fark, I found your lack of up-ness disturbing.

But I knew you'd come back. You always do, no matter how I treat you.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-20 10:51:09 AM
I'm always up for you, baby.

....always.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-20 10:51:47 AM
"Always" is a weird looking word.
 
  2011-12-20 11:03:10 AM
A PSA from possibly the only 4rumite who still plays Kingdom of Loathing:

There's a whole bunch of Crimbo content and loot that's now available. Wheeee! I repeat: Wheeee! :)
 
  2011-12-20 11:04:31 AM
Speaking of weird looking words,... *gets out Scroll of Sheena Summoning*

"Amuck".
 
  2011-12-20 11:40:25 AM
I like "agog". Wonder why all the weird words start with "a"?

Ni!: I'm always up for you, baby.

....always.


*blush*
 
  2011-12-20 05:21:51 PM
*hmof*
 
  2011-12-20 07:25:06 PM
Well said.
 
  2011-12-21 08:27:16 AM
Say what?
 
  2011-12-21 08:55:34 AM
What what?
 
  2011-12-21 08:56:51 AM
In the butt
 
  2011-12-21 09:12:56 AM
And speaking of in the butt, I have lunch plans with Deiter and e-man!!!!!!
 
  2011-12-21 09:39:27 AM
Just don't, if he wants you to look at something in his trunk.
 
  2011-12-21 09:48:53 AM
Yeah last time I fell for that I ened up dead in Utah.
 
  2011-12-21 10:01:24 AM
 
  2011-12-21 10:11:47 AM
Yeah, where've those guys been, anyway? Seems like forever since they've popped in here.
 
  2011-12-21 10:27:32 AM
Deiter was on a 20 system tour of which he now has the death sentence on 12 of them.

...and e-man is around you just have to invoke him.
 
  2011-12-21 10:28:51 AM
Ia Ia e-man fthagn
 
  2011-12-21 10:31:01 AM
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh e-man R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
 
  2011-12-21 11:14:33 AM
Dave

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
  2011-12-21 12:13:23 PM

JoeCamelToe: ...and e-man is around you just have to inprovoke him.


Can do.
 
  2011-12-21 12:58:35 PM
Did someone call for a TITANIUM WELDER/FABRICATOR?

No? Then I'll be off.
 
  2011-12-21 01:00:44 PM
well, now i can't go see the new batman movie.

i.imgur.com
 
  2011-12-21 01:03:53 PM
See?
 
  2011-12-21 01:07:24 PM
I would have come earlier, but I locked my keys in my car.
 
  2011-12-21 01:12:45 PM
What kind of idiot does that?
 
  2011-12-21 01:25:06 PM
This place needs a febreze party.
 
  2011-12-21 01:28:51 PM
My favorite kind of idiot!
 
  2011-12-21 01:39:10 PM
I only huff Pledge.

...and thanks.
 
  2011-12-21 01:50:29 PM
I've seen those ads....It's not just for wood...
 
  2011-12-21 01:53:09 PM

pdrake: well, now i can't go

atse see the new batman movie.

 
  2011-12-21 01:58:40 PM
*blinkblink*

Speaking of "seems like forever," ...
 
  2011-12-21 01:59:16 PM
Speaking of erections!
 
  2011-12-21 02:00:03 PM
Good to see you Rage, hope you're well.
 
  2011-12-21 06:24:04 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-21 06:36:52 PM
Hey little girl. Wanna unwrap a present?
 
  2011-12-21 09:41:30 PM
img72.imageshack.us
 
  2011-12-21 11:04:48 PM
Now I've seen it all.
 
  2011-12-22 02:00:53 AM
Stupid Sunday holidays. The grocery store had mixed baby greens and other veggie delights - but the catch was expiry dates on Saturday. If those fools think the p1g5 will put up with that insult, they're in for rude surprise.

There will be poo and biting.
 
  2011-12-22 03:09:14 AM
Sweet! Good to see you, strangers.

Anderrhea: There will be poo and biting.


Sure but what are the pigs going to do...That is what I want to know.
 
  2011-12-22 06:29:00 AM

skink: Sure but what are the pigs going to do...


Hopefully remain out of the line of fire.
 
  2011-12-22 08:35:36 AM
emergency kibble drop required?
 
  2011-12-22 09:34:26 AM
Really, isn't there ALWAYS poo?
 
  2011-12-22 09:48:10 AM
Pretty much.
 
  2011-12-22 11:46:31 AM

mybabysmomma: Really, isn't there ALWAYS poo?


Apparently, it never ends...Last night, GF's sons, aged 30 and 23, were talking about pooping in their OTHER brother's stocking on Christmas Eve. *sigh*
 
  2011-12-22 03:08:16 PM
I know there won't be many here tomorrow, so......
Happy What ever You Enjoy....

I kind of like you guy's a bit.
 
  2011-12-22 03:36:08 PM
Two of the ladies I field IT escalations from came up to me last week and asked me what my favorite snack was. I told them it was bourbon. Today I got a package in the mail with a wrapped Makers holiday package that included a wax-dipped tree ornament. Best gift ever!
 
  2011-12-22 03:54:56 PM
I got a $1 lottery ticket from all my users.
 
  2011-12-22 04:37:48 PM
I give up. I'm cancelling Christmas and going straight to hell New Year's.
 
  2011-12-22 07:27:42 PM

e-man: I got a $1 lottery ticket from all my users.


I made a donation in your name to The Human Fund.
 
  2011-12-22 08:13:23 PM
Is that a fund for Chinese food?
 
  2011-12-22 09:24:31 PM
static.tvfanatic.com
Next!
 
  2011-12-22 10:08:33 PM
I got support calls.
 
  2011-12-22 11:27:03 PM

zorgon: I give up. I'm cancelling Christmas and going straight to hell New Year's.


Well, then, Merry non-holiday and Happy New Year to you and all the rest of you people.
 
  2011-12-22 11:39:03 PM
i doubt i'll get any gifts this year. it's okay, i'm happy to be able to give.

i'll just miss my mom.
 
  2011-12-23 12:35:29 AM
Christmas is coming at me like a freight train, but this year...I can give a little. I have what I NEED. Cooking Saturday for people I love. So far, so good.

/Also get to spend a little time with BOTH my daughters
 
  2011-12-23 07:19:27 AM
Hej f0rumites.

God Jul från Sverige.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and my wishes for you all to be happy and healthy.

I'm still alive and studying Swedish.
 
  2011-12-23 07:24:52 AM
. . . and the same to you, rockymom!

To the denizens of the forum, I hoist a mug of cocoa in holiday tribute.
 
  2011-12-23 07:25:55 AM

honk: . . . and the same to you, rockymom!

To the denizens of the forum, I hoist a mug of cocoa in holiday tribute.


Skål honk!
 
  2011-12-23 07:39:05 AM

honk: To the denizens of the forum, I hoist a mug of cocoa in holiday tribute.


*Tops off hoisted mug with Makers*
 
  2011-12-23 08:51:49 AM
"Skull Honk" -- my new name for the holiday season.

You're a gentleman, hew.
 
  2011-12-23 09:35:06 AM
*holds mistletoe over own head*

come here you!


SKULL HONK, hmmm, is it weird that I am a bit turned on by that?
 
  2011-12-23 03:03:32 PM
*holds triva over own head*

Spiderman-style.

And yes. Weird . . . but okay.
 
  2011-12-23 04:26:44 PM
Good news: Getting out of work early!
Bad news: Not finding out until you get back from lunch and everyone's gone!
 
  2011-12-23 06:04:41 PM
Apparently the forum closed early too.
 
  2011-12-23 10:48:31 PM
Yeah, I got out of a session today, and my boss (Mom) and two co-workers were GONE.

So, I did the appropriate thing: Gave myself and the receptionist the rest of the day off.

Merry Christmas and such, y'all. Cooking tonight, our big shindig is tomorrow. FIFTY people, family open house at the community clubhouse. If you find yourself in Hudson, I am sorry, and you'd be welcome. It is a bring your own flak jacket party.

/Sleeping in on Christmas day
 
  2011-12-24 02:10:32 AM
my house smells like garlic.

:)
 
  2011-12-24 11:34:38 AM
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
 
  2011-12-24 06:35:07 PM
i255.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-24 11:53:50 PM
merry x-mas fark forum people.

you people . . . .
 
  2011-12-25 12:52:31 AM
i287.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-25 08:27:51 AM
Merry Christmas y'all.
 
  2011-12-25 11:56:10 AM
We had a ROARING good time, last night.

So good, that at 11:15am, today...I am the first one up. Here is to a quiet Christmas coffee and a shmoke.

Merry Christmas, Forum Friends. Have a great day!
 
  2011-12-25 12:23:12 PM
Merry Christmas fark forum !
 
  2011-12-25 12:59:07 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-25 01:01:34 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
Ni!
  2011-12-25 02:00:32 PM
I love you bastards.

you......bastards.
 
  2011-12-25 03:15:08 PM
Huh? What about the traditional-familied of us?
 
Ni!
  2011-12-25 07:20:41 PM
You're OK. I guess. :-P
 
  2011-12-25 09:07:29 PM
*bampf*

Merry Christmas to all my Fark friends.

I think I must have been on the "naughty" list this year. If only i could remember the "naughty" part. *sigh* I'll kvetch in a more specific manner some time later this week, but in the meantime, I could use any spare juju that fell out of your stockings.

*bampf*
 
  2011-12-25 10:21:51 PM
I hope you all had a great day and some time with those you love. You guys are great!
 
  2011-12-25 11:03:33 PM
i207.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-25 11:17:24 PM
Shnookie didn't buy me anything, Ni!.

Are there leftover cookies and egg nog in here? I am all out. e-man hasn't done anything in the nog yet, has he?
 
  2011-12-26 06:13:11 AM
i.imgur.com
 
Ni!
  2011-12-26 07:36:26 AM
Join the club, Kevbo. My present is going to have to wait a couple more days. It's all good.
 
  2011-12-26 01:40:35 PM
My stocking is going to have to wait...until next year. When the Mrs. will actually remember to fill one for me.

And a day of peace, good will towards our cat, will have to wait until our youngest stops attacking him with a stick.

And being able to actually worship at a Christmas service will have to wait until my kids stop climbing over the pews and running around the other worshippers screaming.

And that's just the icing on a crappy holiday. *sigh* I wouldn't kvetch here, but I have no other venue to vent without causing irreparable damage to my family/marriage/friendships/etc.

At least it's almost over. It can only get better from here, I'm guessing.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-26 03:20:25 PM
Sounds like one to remember, Dave. :-/ It'll get better. Someday.
 
  2011-12-26 03:23:07 PM
I doesn't seem like it now, but you will look back on our kids' shenanigans and have a good chuckle.

/been there
 
  2011-12-26 03:58:34 PM
Christmas madness. I have to try REAL hard to relax...And even then, it catches up. Some is self inflicted, some is unavoidable. Avoid what you can, and surf the rest.

*Big hug*
 
  2011-12-27 10:01:59 AM
What happened to FESTIVUS?
 
  2011-12-27 10:24:27 AM
It's for the rest of us.

It's not for me this year.

I'll have to learn how not to burn food for Christmas Eve dinner before the celebrating can begin.

And how to kindly and sensitively request of my children that they not physically hurt each other, whether or not they really want to play with the other's Christmas presents.

And how to cope when the Mrs. is always more upset with me for raising my voice even in the slightest than she is about the subject of my voice-raising (namely the yuletide combat occurring between children or the complete disruption of church services.)

And how not to explode inside when an in-law regurgitates whatever was on Fox News last week about how everything is the Democrats' fault (including tsunamis and the Black Plague), even when this in-law is fully aware that I worked in Congress for four years. For a Democrat.

And how to keep a cheery face on when I am made hours late for work before and after Christmas by immediate family members who can't allow me to leave until they've all taken showers & simultaneously can't be bothered to take said showers until I am already late for work.

*sigh* This is the point where someone from Seattle should bring the hammer down on me for having the audacity to vent about people who aren't here to defend themselves, and that if I really loved them I wouldn't ever visit this website. But I don't really have any other options that don't involve physically hurting myself. I apologize if I'm bringing everyone else's holiday spirits down: it can just be added to my heaping pile of holiday failures this year.

I'll shut up now.
 
  2011-12-27 11:02:54 AM
sometimes people suck,,,that's why I have dogs.
These people are here for you :) THESE PEOPLE
 
  2011-12-27 12:47:26 PM

mybabysmomma: These people are here for you :)


This.
 
  2011-12-27 01:19:53 PM
Thanks. :}
 
  2011-12-27 01:32:55 PM
Hanging a heavy bag in the garage has really helped me out with stress relief. Might be worth a shot.
 
  2011-12-27 02:42:59 PM
Hanging a heavy bag in the car port might make the roof come down. :(
 
  2011-12-27 02:44:41 PM
They make freestanding stands for them.
 
  2011-12-27 05:35:01 PM
img14.imageshack.us
 
  2011-12-27 08:01:20 PM
Quick! Someone have that pic of a Blackman hiding in the back of a room. All you can see is his smile. I'm trying to find it to show the Mrs, but Gis-foo is weak. I keep finding other memes and Obama
 
  2011-12-27 09:27:44 PM
I suggest counseling.
 
  2011-12-27 09:49:18 PM

Rich Cream: [img14.imageshack.us image 293x289]


Those stupid voting buttons need to go away. Very un-touch-friendly.
 
  2011-12-27 10:59:49 PM
 
  2011-12-28 07:31:40 AM

hazeleyedwolff: Hanging a heavy bag in the garage has really helped me out with stress relief. Might be worth a shot.


It's a thought, if you can avoid the police questioning.
 
  2011-12-28 12:21:59 PM
Speaking of police questioning, the one big downer on the holiday is that my mom's car was stolen from her garage.

While she was home.

And the thieves left another car, full of other people's stolen loot, behind because it got stuck in the driveway. No idea if that car was stolen from someone else or not.
 
  2011-12-28 12:49:14 PM
That's creepy and strange
 
  2011-12-28 02:05:27 PM
yeah, but was the loot good stuff?

wasn't this a jetson's episode?
 
  2011-12-28 03:28:05 PM

Mike: And the thieves left another car, full of other people's stolen loot, behind because it got stuck in the driveway.


How did they get her car out if theirs was in the driveway? Or did they pull hers out first and then pull theirs in? And if they're going to do that, why not pull it all the way in the carhole just for the lulz?
 
  2011-12-28 03:28:19 PM

Kar98: Rich Cream: [img14.imageshack.us image 293x289]

Those stupid voting buttons need to go away. Very un-touch-friendly.


I like how there are not in the mobile fark pages
 
  2011-12-28 03:33:21 PM
Depending on the relative values of the cars, she might have come out ahead, Mike. Merry Christmas!
 
  2011-12-28 03:37:10 PM

Soup4Bonnie: How did they get her car out if theirs was in the driveway?


They pulled off the driveway into the grass and got stuck in the mud. (It's a farm)
 
  2011-12-28 05:22:54 PM

Soup4Bonnie: carhole


I read that in Moe Sizlak's voice, and it was HILARIOUS. "You people and your fancy French 'garage'!"

/I have no idea if that is how you spell Moe the Bartender's last name
 
  2011-12-28 05:25:33 PM
Sounded good to me :-p
 
  2011-12-28 06:55:28 PM
szyzlak.
 
  2011-12-28 07:46:16 PM
Let it be. (new window)
 
  2011-12-28 08:16:24 PM
why would you?
 
  2011-12-28 09:07:28 PM
Why not?
 
  2011-12-29 12:32:09 AM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-29 09:14:50 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
  2011-12-29 05:09:20 PM
If you ask me for f*cking help because you forgot your gmail password, don't argue with me about what you did or didn't do because clearly you didn't do what you thought you did.

Goddamn inlaws.
 
  2011-12-29 10:25:46 PM
hey, what's my frappr password?
 
  2011-12-30 12:25:35 AM
Ah, 'tis the season of Free Support.

I got lucky. I'm PC and mainframe, and my family went Mac.
 
  2011-12-30 12:50:59 AM
I still have a myspace account?
 
  2011-12-30 01:35:43 AM
*hmof*
 
  2011-12-30 06:40:16 AM
And this is an email I get from a user this morning:

"Whats my chances of getting the two set up from programming since they are getting new, so I don't have to keep getting in and out of the Stel"

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?
 
  2011-12-30 06:43:50 AM

leftyblonde: I still have a myspace account?


With all your sparkly GIFs, this does not surprise me :)
 
  2011-12-30 06:49:35 AM

e-man: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?


I don't know, but I would answer "One in twelve", just to keep 'em guessing.
 
  2011-12-30 07:43:58 AM
Doesn't matter what it means. Tell him to charm whack like stellar obelisk over the coatrack, and you'll get it done.

Or, possibly, it means that he'd like you to set up new accounts for the two new guys from programming, so he doesn't have to keep handholding them from his account.

Next time, run it through babelfish before asking, okay?
 
  2011-12-30 08:29:02 AM
I asked him. His verbal clarification wasn't much better than his email, but what it boiled down to was: can I get a 2nd monitor for my PC?
 
  2011-12-30 08:41:47 AM
That's like people I work for. I am a big short and to the point kind of person and not saying what you mean succinctly is a pet peeve of mine. I should probably get a different kind of pet.
 
  2011-12-30 08:43:40 AM
I think this is more of a fundamental lack of English proficiency.
 
  2011-12-30 09:05:42 AM
The people I work for knows themselves alls kinds of big impressivating wordeses. They have horrible communication skills, which is interesting considering they are mostly attorneys.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-30 10:39:04 AM
Eman you utter and complete and total BEAST. Do you have ANY idea what you did last night?! I dreamed you actually cut a cat's throat and it bled all over me and I went into shock and had a panic attack! WTF DOOD!
 
  2011-12-30 10:42:19 AM

mybabysmomma: I am a big short and to the point kind of person


"big short" -- in other words, wide?
 
  2011-12-30 10:53:24 AM
big, short and to the point

I am short but not so wide thank you very much
 
  2011-12-30 11:18:06 AM
Wow, I....

wow.
 
  2011-12-30 11:20:42 AM

e-man: I asked him. His verbal clarification wasn't much better than his email, but what it boiled down to was: can I get a 2nd monitor for my PC?

Here's an IM exchange between me and one of our heldesk techs yesterday:

[14:40] Lorrie: That Zebra printer is printing as Microsoft not as Zebra how do I change that?
[14:46] hazeleyedwolff: i don't know what that means
[14:49] Lorrie: when i go to print it has microsoft word not
default to zebra also it is messing with lp419 so

i put it at the counter in it'swon data port.
HELP!
 
  2011-12-30 11:24:25 AM
You shouldn't dream about other men on the eve of your snookie's birthday.....
 
Ni!
  2011-12-30 11:24:49 AM
Oh you were nice about it...
 
  2011-12-30 11:45:54 AM
Zebra printer?

Is that what you're doing these days? Turning horses into counterfeit zebras?

It's a living, I guess.
 
  2011-12-30 11:47:05 AM

OregonVet: You shouldn't dream about other men on the eve of your snookie's birthday.....


I dream about it every day. Except I don't spell it with a leading "s".
 
Ni!
  2011-12-30 11:48:01 AM

OregonVet: You shouldn't dream about other men on the eve of your snookie's birthday.....


If I told you what I did to Johnny Depp last night....whuff. It's all good tho.
 
  2011-12-30 11:50:22 AM
Okay, now I'm piqued.... Do tell.
 
Ni!
  2011-12-30 12:21:50 PM
Nuh uh. He did end up pissed at me though. I can't escape THAT even in my dreams. :-/
 
  2011-12-30 12:25:36 PM
If you dream about cutting throats and watching them bleed, I'll bet he was pissed at you.
 
  2011-12-30 01:21:48 PM
i794.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-30 02:48:24 PM
A Zebra printer is a thermal transfer barcoding printer used to print various tags for warehouses and whatnot. On host systems printers like that are assigned "lp" printer names (lineprinter). It's kind of old school.

And either someone named It'swon works there, or that's a messed up version of "it's own".
 
  2011-12-30 02:49:15 PM

Ni!: Oh you were nice about it...


Oh, well, then it's okay.
 
  2011-12-30 02:53:39 PM
Just got a call saying my mom's stolen car was recovered intact and the perps arrested.

Apparently it was "involved" in a hit-and-run yesterday -- but in a roundabout way. Someone hit three parked cars, jumped out, ran, and got into yet a completely different car with someone else. That different getaway car was my mom's. But the guy was ID'ed in the process...
 
  2011-12-30 03:02:29 PM
FANTASTIC...................bookemdanno.
 
  2011-12-30 03:05:44 PM
Just got off the phone, sounds like there's actually quite a few people involved and this mighta busted a pretty decent size theft ring across multiple counties. Two women arrested and they're looking for two other guys. Crazy shiat :)
 
Ni!
  2011-12-30 03:06:38 PM
Good grief, Mike!! That is quite the adventure.
 
  2011-12-30 03:15:25 PM
Not as exciting as an evening spent exsanguinating kittens.
 
  2011-12-30 03:18:04 PM
It's starting to sound like a real life GTA4 mission.
 
  2011-12-30 03:39:06 PM

Mike: Apparently it was "involved" in a hit-and-run yesterday -- but in a roundabout way.


We have those up here, too. Nobody knows what to do when they come to one. I just want to go left. Why the hell do I have to go around a circle to the right? Very confusing. Glad to hear she gets to keep the family farm.
 
  2011-12-30 03:53:22 PM
i learned today the first roundabout in the US was in las vegas. i remember going on it in 1990.

wheeeee!
 
Ni!
  2011-12-30 04:19:06 PM

e-man: Not as exciting as an evening spent exsanguinating kittens.


Hmmm. E-man killing kittens...not an inconceivable idea, is it.
 
  2011-12-30 07:54:01 PM
Not when you're involved, baby!
 
  2011-12-30 08:24:05 PM
Zebras. And Datasouths. And OTCs. Oh my!
The printers - they're coming to haunt me!
 
  2011-12-30 08:26:03 PM
Mike - that sounds like a really strange turn of events. More fun after all the dust is settled, though.

I'm not even going to get into the kitten issue, although I prefer huffing them, myself.
 
  2011-12-31 12:52:12 AM
Kittens! Poor kittens.
 
  2011-12-31 05:30:47 AM
i1110.photobucket.com
 
  2011-12-31 10:21:09 AM
Stand back, everyone! He's making...CHILI!!!!

/also cornbread
 
Ni!
  2011-12-31 04:36:21 PM
We're going with Stouffer's Five Cheese Lasagna. Also wine. Well, for me.

My poor Shnookie has to work, but maaaybe he'll be home before midnight. They have Las Vegas kinda shows going on at the Casino tonight, and Chippendales and all. So who knows. Either way I'll be asleep by nine.
 
  2011-12-31 06:17:08 PM

Mike: That different getaway car was my mom's. But the guy was ID'ed in the process...


So yeah, turns out the reason the guy was ID'ed in the process is because he tried to run over a cop. That's why they were staking out the house south of town. Anyway, they arrested that guy tonight and it made the local news. Still looking for a web version of it.
 
  2011-12-31 07:00:41 PM
You people have seen me through some rough times. I just want you all to know, 2010 and '11 have been my best two years in the last twenty.

Thank you all so much, for being a constant. Thank you for thinking of me, and seeking me out when I was too ill to be here, and wandered away. Thank for the laughs, and the gross outs, and the flaming couches and goat farking, and sparkly anigifs. Thank you for being a part of my life, though I have not met any of you in meatspace.

I love you people. YOU PEOPLE. Have a safe and happy New Years celebration, and I promise not to make too much noise tomorrow morning.

Happy New Year!

~Skink
 
Ni!
  2011-12-31 07:25:08 PM
Love you baby. And the rest of you lot.
 
  2011-12-31 07:31:52 PM
You people.
 
  2012-01-01 12:54:34 AM
i1110.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-01 02:11:50 PM

skink: I promise not to make too much noise tomorrow morning.


Yeah, about that part. I LIED! (new window)
 
  2012-01-01 02:39:21 PM
Liar, liar, couch on fire.
 
  2012-01-01 05:57:10 PM
Eh. I guess you guys are tolerable.
 
  2012-01-01 06:32:50 PM
skink
 
Ni!
  2012-01-01 07:16:29 PM
We completely farked up Zorgon's birthday y'all.
 
  2012-01-01 09:39:03 PM

mybabysmomma: skink


Que?
 
  2012-01-02 01:32:35 AM
I have no idea what you're talking about, but here is a video of a cat playing a theremin. (new window)
 
  2012-01-02 04:01:17 AM
i1184.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-02 08:48:47 AM
I was trying to thank you for the moby link,,,I don't know what had happent
 
Ni!
  2012-01-02 04:26:43 PM
A BABY!
 
  2012-01-02 06:56:45 PM

Ni!: We completely farked up Zorgon's birthday y'all.


I don't need your help for that!

*hmof*
 
Ni!
  2012-01-02 07:27:42 PM
I farking LOVE sweet red wine. Do y'all know this? You should know this.
 
Ni!
  2012-01-02 07:35:12 PM
Also if y'all see that CamelToed farker let him know his ass is mine when I see him.
 
  2012-01-02 10:01:56 PM
Nice churchill lefty.


/forgot all computer crap...
 
  2012-01-03 10:27:02 AM

Ni!: Also if y'all see that CamelToed farker let him know his ass is mine when I see him.


The whole thing? How greedy.

I'm sure he'd offer you a piece of it, though.
 
  2012-01-03 10:41:32 AM
*bampf*

Just a reminder for those of you still playing Kingdom of Loathing: all the Crimbo content will go *poof* at rollover tonight (~10:30 EST). So get your Crimbo on while you can!

*bampf*
 
  2012-01-03 01:22:09 PM

Ni!: Also if y'all see that CamelToed farker let him know his ass is mine when I see him.


She's so angry when she drinks wine.
 
  2012-01-03 01:31:07 PM
Angry....but lovely.

Captain America! Boom!
 
  2012-01-03 02:10:55 PM
*bampf*

Also, a big congrats to OVet for winning the 2011 Fark Forum Fantasy Football championship!
www.animationplaza.com

*bampf*
 
Ni!
  2012-01-03 02:19:23 PM
It's gone. It's all gone. *sniff* It was so beautiful, with its stereo controls on the back of the steering wheel and trunk that would have done e-man proud.
 
  2012-01-03 02:24:39 PM
I'm sorry Ni!. If I hit the lotto I promise to buy you a new one...a better one....an Ironman one.
 
Ni!
  2012-01-03 02:33:11 PM
I love you!
 
  2012-01-03 03:38:27 PM
I'm confused and aroused.
 
  2012-01-03 04:14:00 PM
Around here we call that "Tuesday".
 
  2012-01-03 06:27:44 PM
Thanks, Dave!
 
  2012-01-03 08:22:20 PM
JCT, your posts are a marvel.
 
  2012-01-04 08:47:51 AM
Remember: I'm not crazy; I just find reality too cruel to trust sometimes.
 
  2012-01-04 12:51:02 PM
i heard the tampons were freezing.
 
  2012-01-04 12:52:34 PM
Yeah my lips are blue.....
 
  2012-01-04 01:04:23 PM
um . . .

wrecked 'um, i hardly blue him.
 
  2012-01-04 01:25:58 PM
It's a wee bit two pound nippley here.
 
SGF
  2012-01-04 08:13:46 PM
Scraping vinyl flooring sucks
 
  2012-01-04 10:38:24 PM

SGF: Scraping vinyl flooring sucks


Stop using your scrotum for that!
 
  2012-01-05 12:38:24 AM
Okay, that may be the dumbest thing ever posted on Fark.
 
  2012-01-05 08:03:26 AM

SGF: Scraping vinyl flooring sucks


Especially if it has asbestos in it.
 
  2012-01-05 03:31:58 PM

honk: SGF: Scraping vinyl flooring sucks

Especially if it has asbestos in it.


His scrotum has asbestos in it? The permit paperwork for that must be ... significant.
 
  2012-01-05 03:42:47 PM
So, how are all my little love chunks doing today?
 
Ni!
  2012-01-05 06:30:44 PM
We're frothy and creamy today, Triva. How's you?
 
  2012-01-05 06:44:01 PM

Ni!: We're frothy and creamy today?


santorum?
 
  2012-01-06 12:11:45 AM

hazeleyedwolff: santorum?


Santorum is on EVERYONE'S lips, today.
 
  2012-01-06 07:30:03 AM

SpearmintPup: The permit paperwork for that must be ... significant.


It's not nearly as much as he would like you believe and will probably blame shrinkage.
 
  2012-01-06 08:23:32 AM

skink: hazeleyedwolff: santorum?

Santorum is on EVERYONE'S lips, today.


EWWWWW!
 
  2012-01-06 09:25:14 AM
Don't you judge skink!
 
  2012-01-06 11:28:39 AM
If you can't judge the ones you love, what's the point of loving people?
 
  2012-01-06 12:32:03 PM
Handjobs and bacon.
 
  2012-01-06 04:32:13 PM

JoeCamelToe: Handjobs and bacon.


These!
 
  2012-01-06 06:00:55 PM

JoeCamelToe: Handjobs and bacon.


Old and Busted: gonads and strife.
New Hotness: handjobs and bacon
 
  2012-01-06 10:43:46 PM
I'm only hear for the bacon.
 
  2012-01-07 10:24:44 AM
Sounds good.
 
  2012-01-07 03:09:45 PM
I wonder if the employment statistics include data on handjobs? I mean, they are jobs after all. So could be the 200,000 new jobs supposedly created (I don't know anyone who has one, do you?) are quite possibly hand. Or blow. Whatever. Hmof.
 
  2012-01-07 06:04:21 PM
Wouldn't those be in the part time part of the report?
 
  2012-01-07 09:47:45 PM
Teenage boys are full time, self employed.
 
SGF
  2012-01-08 02:42:31 AM
fascinating concept, zorgon.

Being Canadian, I have to wonder about the prospects of working with Blackberry's maker, Research In Motion.

RIM employs thousands of people, and I'm sure every single one of them is thankful to have a RIM job, 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Kind of makes me wish I had a job with RIM.
 
  2012-01-08 11:58:58 AM
live stream of building implosion in houston

http://www.mdanderson.tv/hmblive_alt.html (new window)

11:15am cst
 
  2012-01-09 10:31:21 AM
Was the Forum inside that imploding building? 0_0 Hello?
 
  2012-01-09 10:44:45 AM
Everything looks pretty unimplodey to me.

*checks maxifridge*

Still beer.
 
  2012-01-09 12:04:28 PM
img12.imageshack.us
 
  2012-01-09 06:10:09 PM
Just how stupid are those "Like, Dislike" polls on news articles? I just read one about how the white-tailed deer in Montana are dying from some hemorrhagic fever.

Hmmm Do I like this article or do I dislike it?

It is well written and presents enough facts, so I like that, but, the diseased blood and the deer, what are you asking me again?
 
  2012-01-10 06:27:36 AM
They do it just to make you cry, snowflake.
 
  2012-01-10 09:11:51 AM
I just came for the tacos.

"Like"
 
  2012-01-10 09:20:55 AM
Plus the lack of terrorists trying to blow stuff up around here.

Unlike IRL Tampa.

...but seriously, blowing up McDoucheBags would have been that tragic.
 
  2012-01-10 09:22:01 AM
...or wouldn't.....if'n I could type.
 
  2012-01-10 10:31:02 AM
Soooooo....that's what you decided to wear today?
 
  2012-01-10 10:51:05 AM
You came in that?
 
  2012-01-10 10:54:28 AM
You're more desperate than I thought.
 
  2012-01-10 11:28:58 AM
Obliterating a McDogfood's would be an act of heroism.
 
  2012-01-10 12:17:10 PM
Food snobs. I'd kill for a Big Kahuna burger right now.
 
  2012-01-10 12:22:48 PM
Welcome to FarkBurger. Home of the FarkBurger. May I take your order?
 
  2012-01-10 12:23:36 PM
And I'll have the Soup de jour with that.
 
  2012-01-10 12:27:33 PM
You know who delivers all that food don't cha...MBM,,,THAT'S RIGHT...
 
  2012-01-10 12:43:11 PM
Mountain Biking Mormons?
 
  2012-01-10 12:53:30 PM
Massively Beautiful Men?
 
  2012-01-10 12:55:23 PM
Motorized Boob Massager?
 
  2012-01-10 12:59:34 PM
that just sounds all kinds of ouchy
 
  2012-01-10 01:13:02 PM
My Big Merkin?
 
  2012-01-10 01:22:37 PM

JoeCamelToe: Welcome to FarkBurger. Home of the FarkBurger. May I take your order?


lemme guess: you stopped serving breakfast 10 minutes ago.
 
  2012-01-10 01:29:10 PM
No FarkBurger serves breakfast all day everyday.

Try our new Mersault platter! We take a home style flapjack cover it with butter, add a layer of bacon, throw on a waffle, smother that in hash browns and top it with a little crepe hat.

....which we serve flambe style.
 
  2012-01-10 01:56:33 PM
Mersault bacon?
 
  2012-01-10 02:04:41 PM
I had suggested a roast beef sandwich and got my ass kicked for that.
 
  2012-01-10 02:20:19 PM

Mike: Mersault bacon?


Mersault Bacon Melange, apparently.
 
  2012-01-10 03:18:58 PM
ooo crap, Shiat is going to hit the fan around here very soon. I just heard that one of our people has not billed a "client" in over three years.......I'll be hiding under my desk till the smoke clears......
No, It was not me.....whew!
 
Ni!
  2012-01-10 04:16:07 PM
OH MY GOD! TACOS! SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO GOD DAMN IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE FREAKING TACOS! HOLY HELL!

That's my set response for tacos. Sorry.
 
Ni!
  2012-01-10 04:17:17 PM

trivaavirt: ooo crap, Shiat is going to hit the fan around here very soon. I just heard that one of our people has not billed a "client" in over three years.......I'll be hiding under my desk till the smoke clears......
No, It was not me.....whew!


On purpose? Or just a massive farkup?
 
  2012-01-10 04:44:50 PM
Not sure yet, Farkup for sure, but a this point I wonder what the end result will be......I mean, you can just call to the client and say, Oh by the way you owe us for the last three years......I think more than one persons head will be chopped off. Boss does not know yet, I'm sure I'll know the minute he finds out.
 
Ni!
  2012-01-10 05:25:18 PM
Well but the client has to know they haven't been paying. At some point they have to think why they're getting something for free for three years. I'd say yeah, time to post a bill.
 
  2012-01-10 05:43:49 PM

Anderrhea: They do it just to make you cry, snowflake.



And I thought I didn't understand the question.
 
  2012-01-11 01:48:58 AM
There is no question, only Zuul.
Well, at least now there isn't because in Fark Standard Time it's no longer Tuesday.
 
  2012-01-11 07:49:13 AM
...and speaking of Mersault bacon........
 
  2012-01-11 11:56:30 AM
[Main] Fark Forum (7 posts of 823430) (+3174)
 
  2012-01-11 12:24:25 PM

leftyblonde: [Main] Fark Forum (7 posts of 823430) (+3174)


You've got some catching up to do.
 
  2012-01-11 12:33:43 PM
Yeah, ketchup.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
  2012-01-11 12:35:12 PM
Tell me about your mother.
 
  2012-01-11 02:20:24 PM
Your mom killed it....again.
 
  2012-01-11 02:35:51 PM
Just waiting on you, Lefty. No pressure.
 
  2012-01-11 03:31:46 PM
I'm totally out of food that isn't a pain in the ass to make or frozen. One of you clowns better go to the store.
 
  2012-01-11 04:11:52 PM
OH GOD NO!,,,,NOT CLOWNS....NOOOOOOOOO!
 
  2012-01-11 04:23:15 PM
Can't eat, clowns will sleep me
 
  2012-01-11 04:32:49 PM
somehow in my head that translated to "clowns will rape me"
 
  2012-01-11 06:01:33 PM
meatloaf again.
 
  2012-01-11 06:03:38 PM

Soup4Bonnie: Just waiting on you, Lefty. No pressure.


i59.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-11 06:18:56 PM
Ice in my single malt may mean we come to blows.

cdnstatic.visualizeus.com
 
  2012-01-11 10:32:47 PM
IT IS SLIPPY'S BIRTHDAY DAMN IT WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE EXCEPT FOR SOUPIE
 
  2012-01-11 11:01:05 PM
You people?
 
Ni!
  2012-01-12 07:00:27 AM
OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLIPPY!
 
  2012-01-12 07:48:05 AM
It's who's what in the where now?
 
  2012-01-12 08:21:08 AM
Happy B-Day, slip-eh.
 
  2012-01-12 08:28:36 AM
SCHLIPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
BIRFFFFFDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
 
  2012-01-12 11:04:46 AM
you forgot to remind me at facebook.
 
  2012-01-12 11:23:04 AM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-12 01:23:27 PM
sorry, nobody brought the card to my desk to sign.
 
  2012-01-12 02:08:22 PM
yeah, what p said.
 
  2012-01-12 03:11:17 PM
I heard there was cake.
 
  2012-01-12 03:21:50 PM
The cake is a lie
 
  2012-01-12 05:11:37 PM
One of the saddest scenes in all moviedome is in Sounder when the guard destroys the Christmas cake the boy brings to his Dad in jail.

Thanks for making me think of that.
 
  2012-01-12 06:24:42 PM
i286.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-12 06:26:06 PM
i286.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-12 06:28:36 PM
i279.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-12 06:30:18 PM
i52.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-12 06:31:47 PM
i271.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-13 12:25:37 PM
Death by cowbell.
 
  2012-01-13 01:43:46 PM
*explores the studio spaces*
 
  2012-01-13 06:30:35 PM
Bet my money on a bob-tailed nag
Somebody bet on the gray
 
  2012-01-13 07:47:19 PM
yay free tequila!
 
  2012-01-14 12:46:53 AM
oh, the long tail filly and the big black horse . . .
 
  2012-01-14 11:33:49 AM
Good Saturday, Forum Peeps. Home alone. This is a GOOD thing.
 
  2012-01-14 04:04:25 PM
5 shots of tequila + one shot of Nyquil = 14 hours of sleep with freaky nightmares.
 
  2012-01-15 04:20:40 PM
Wow, really? I got the whole place to myself!

*takes off pants*
 
  2012-01-15 09:12:51 PM
Your suit needs ironing.
 
  2012-01-16 04:03:43 AM
testing

/Boobies :)
 
  2012-01-16 04:07:21 AM
what is happening.. someone picking on the noob :(
 
  2012-01-16 05:15:43 AM
That's an automatic filter.
Welcome to Fark.

/I like boobies.
 
  2012-01-16 10:11:13 AM
i33.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-16 10:19:25 AM
boobies get in my way,,,sometimes they help me make my way *shrugs*
 
  2012-01-16 10:20:16 AM
i49.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-16 10:21:29 AM
i50.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-16 03:26:12 PM
We really need to switch that one to decaff.
 
  2012-01-16 03:37:02 PM
Browsers really badly need a gif framerate limiter.
 
  2012-01-16 03:38:57 PM
My boobies was in this thread way back in 2004, I don't think I've posted in it since.

Also, I don't have boobies, just moobies.

I can send pics in email if you like.
 
  2012-01-16 03:40:17 PM

Mike: Browsers really badly need a gif framerate limiter.


or better gifs.
 
  2012-01-16 03:51:50 PM

smadge1: I can send pics in email if you like.


Thank you . . . but no.
 
  2012-01-16 04:52:21 PM

smadge1: I can send pics in email if you like.


Hit me up. honk[nospam-﹫-backwards]kr­af*com
 
  2012-01-16 06:20:26 PM
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
  2012-01-16 06:24:48 PM

Anderrhea: [ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x500]


Cool! I remember when I showed the the edible huts! Yeah, good times.
 
  2012-01-16 06:53:32 PM
I loved those little huts. They were hilarious.
 
  2012-01-16 07:10:25 PM
Until they started to smell :)
 
  2012-01-16 10:37:47 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-17 09:20:57 AM

Mike: Until they started to smell :)


Puts me in mind of a cute cottage-style house I once looked at. Nice place, but the smell from the lady who'd died in it was a distraction and a detraction.

Still, hers was a peaceful passing. Better than my gambler ex-neighbor and his shotgun hijinks in the basement. They cleaned everything off the ceiling and fixed it before selling, but still.
 
  2012-01-17 06:39:42 PM
I got nothin.'
/hmof
 
  2012-01-17 07:29:03 PM
i have had to make some really difficult decisions in my life, but this one (new window), i just don't know...
 
  2012-01-17 11:12:32 PM
I would take the Star Wars one, because scantily clad supermodels are already so numerous in my life. At the beach the other day, I got a nasty toe sprain tripping over Jill Goodacre.
 
  2012-01-18 12:38:25 AM
I knew what I had to say and I just needed it read back to me. I sincerely appreciate YOU PEOPLE.

/hmof
 
  2012-01-18 08:02:35 AM
Good morning everyone. Look, I'm a little slow today.
I just switched to Sanka, so have a heart. :)
 
  2012-01-18 08:28:40 AM
They still make Sanka?
 
  2012-01-18 08:53:41 AM
Are we White yet?
 
  2012-01-18 08:57:00 AM
Have been for a while.
 
  2012-01-18 09:06:23 AM
Closer to Beige
 
  2012-01-18 09:09:45 AM
Linen.
 
  2012-01-18 09:13:08 AM
. . . cream??
 
  2012-01-18 09:38:33 AM
eggshell.
 
  2012-01-18 09:46:06 AM
Egg shell.
 
  2012-01-18 09:46:45 AM
Oops. I should really refresh more often.
 
  2012-01-18 09:48:48 AM
farkin ecru, man
 
  2012-01-18 10:12:27 AM
Taupe.
 
  2012-01-18 10:22:06 AM
*This post has been redacted due to SOPA*
 
  2012-01-18 10:48:53 AM
I read a headline that said they loved it. I didn't bother to read the article because hey, this is fark.
 
  2012-01-18 11:53:25 AM
Pirate Bay!

(runs)
 
  2012-01-18 01:50:31 PM
The photo hosting blackout bullshiat is NO BUENO.
 
  2012-01-18 02:17:43 PM
No frijoles no bueno!
 
  2012-01-18 05:16:22 PM
Since everyone's up in arms today, I thought I'd try to get all the guinea pigs to live in the same pen without a Berlin wall divider. Getting an early jump on Angry Thursday.

I think I need a round of Xanax and Haldol all 'round.
 
  2012-01-18 06:17:31 PM
No pantalones!
I don't think they make Sanka anymore, and I wouldn't touch it if they didJust watched Fast Times the other day and that was the science teachers way of greeting the class.
 
  2012-01-18 06:56:35 PM
i84.photobucket.com
i34.photobucket.com
 
  2012-01-18 07:20:52 PM
There's good old Mr. Vargis!
Puzzles me why top chefs use instant coffee as an ingrediant.
Tastes nothing like coffee to me.
 
  2012-01-18 09:39:02 PM
I was lurking around the jeorb listings and saw this company
i.imgur.com
had an opening for this job: Marketing Manager - Swine

Sweet Meth-toking Jesus I could get a job selling bioengineered swine to chumps.

This is how the world ends. Not with a whimper, but with an oink.
 
  2012-01-18 10:23:16 PM
Is there a link to Fark's blackout message? I didn't get to copy the links.
 
  2012-01-19 02:08:25 AM
Wow, just saw SuiteP and Feffer post in the old timers thread.

I see you lurking, ladies. You are missed.
 
  2012-01-19 05:49:51 AM
 
  2012-01-19 12:57:25 PM

skink: Wow, just saw SuiteP and Feffer post in the old timers thread.

I see you lurking, ladies. You are missed.


I've spotted Feffer a few times in random threads, but have not had a Suitep sighting in forever.
 
  2012-01-19 12:58:29 PM

memebot_of_doom: Is there a link to Fark's blackout message? I didn't get to copy the links.


http://www.fark.com/2012/sopapipa/
 
  2012-01-19 01:09:30 PM
anybody know where i can rent a mid-sized jet? i can afford about $3,400.00 an hour.
 
  2012-01-19 01:33:54 PM
I'll look through the fleet when I get home. I think there's something suitable there.

No, wait, I loaned that to my brother. Never mind.
 
  2012-01-19 04:15:11 PM
They still make Sanka. How do I know? Cuz I buyz it.
 
  2012-01-19 07:44:41 PM

h2oincfs: anybody know where i can rent a mid-sized jet? i can afford about $3,400.00 an hour.


this place has them for $3,500/hour. i'll pony up the extra hunny if you come by and pick me up.
 
  2012-01-19 07:48:27 PM
http://www.gpluxuryrental.com/
 
  2012-01-19 09:12:56 PM
Hell, I'll drive you around for $3500/hour
 
  2012-01-19 10:18:22 PM
Anyone else getting facebook banner ads? Who knew facebook had to advertise.
 
  2012-01-20 12:20:15 AM

Mike: Hell, I'll drive you around for $3500/hour


i doubt that. we'd be in the back seat kickin' it with the maker's and you'd be driving? you couldn't handle that.

just put in a couple hundred and we'll pick you up with the G5.

i'll make sure you get your own glass.
 
  2012-01-20 12:45:14 PM
Anyone know how to include HTML in headline submissions?
 
Ni!
  2012-01-20 01:32:29 PM
Well...have you got five feet of dryer vent and a rhino horn? Because if you don't we can't help.
 
  2012-01-20 01:33:07 PM

JimBob1015: Anyone know how to include HTML in headline submissions?


You don't
 
  2012-01-20 01:44:13 PM
Unless you have some midgets little people and green jello.
 
  2012-01-20 01:49:37 PM
alright, how about unicode characters?
 
  2012-01-20 01:53:52 PM
Well, the cat's out of the bag now, so I can give better details.

I was trying to submit the Etta James dying story with the headline: Her lonely days are over.

But I couldn't get the link submission thingee to do the strikethrough.
 
  2012-01-20 02:28:58 PM
If you strikethrough me I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
 
  2012-01-20 02:40:11 PM

JoeCamelToe: If you strikethrough me I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.


Good thing for you all of us then, that I can't figure out how!
 
  2012-01-20 03:12:23 PM

JoeCamelToe: If you strikethrough me I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

 
  2012-01-20 03:14:43 PM
Hey people. :) I don't lurk in here much, I mostly read the Politics tab. I'm a masochist.
 
  2012-01-20 03:15:09 PM
why would anyone even want to admit to knowing how to do anything around here?
 
  2012-01-20 04:06:31 PM

feffer: I'm a masochist.


Most McKenna supporters are.
 
  2012-01-20 05:25:00 PM
i thought you were an atheist.
 
  2012-01-20 05:35:31 PM
Good to see you, Feffster!
 
  2012-01-20 07:16:32 PM

Soup4Bonnie: feffer: I'm a masochist.

Most McKenna supporters are.


HOW DARE YOU. I believe the joke was Rossi.
 
  2012-01-20 08:22:56 PM
I was reading the "would you do your in-laws thread" and thought it was funny. Anyway, the point of this post is to suggest a "true"/"troll" button in addition to the "smart"/"funny" buttons that were recently added. What do you think?
 
  2012-01-20 09:05:19 PM
we are not paid to think.
 
  2012-01-20 09:48:30 PM

DaveOfTheHillPeople: Good to see you, Feffster!


^THIS^

leftyblonde: we are not paid NOT to think.


/FTFY
 
  2012-01-20 10:39:47 PM
Geez, it's not like I don't see you guys on facebook. :)
 
  2012-01-20 11:36:25 PM

feffer: Geez, it's not like I don't see you guys on facebook. :)


Yeah, but you KNOW this place is special. It's like that bar, where I lost my virginity in the storage room...Oh, man! Every TIME I go in that place I get all nostalgic.
 
  2012-01-21 02:02:00 AM

feffer: I mostly read the Politics tab


Ewwww.
 
  2012-01-21 02:51:53 AM
what a meanie!
won't even say "Hello!" to me on facebook!
 
  2012-01-21 04:09:00 AM
leftyblonde, we're friends already, and I can only poke somebody so many times!
 
  2012-01-21 04:54:06 AM

feffer: leftyblonde, we're friends already, and I can only poke somebody so many times!


Rawr! Do you guys know how to post videos to Facebook?
 
  2012-01-21 10:31:04 AM
I have only done that once, ljdjr...I uploaded it to YouTube, and linked it.
 
  2012-01-21 11:18:17 AM

skink: feffer: Geez, it's not like I don't see you guys on facebook. :)

Yeah, but you KNOW this place is special. It's like that bar, where I lost my virginity in the storage room...Oh, man! Every TIME I go in that place I get all nostalgic.


dude, there's no way you remember that. you were totally passed out in the mop bucket. after 2 or 3 hours i gave up and left.
 
  2012-01-21 02:08:13 PM

h2oincfs: after 2 or 3 hours i gave up and left.


Ain't whiskey dick a biatch?
 
  2012-01-21 07:46:44 PM
I never understood the "lost" my virginity...I expect that it's either ever taken or given away. Losing has the expectation that you might find it again at some point.
 
  2012-01-21 08:18:55 PM
Mine never turned up in the lost and found.
 
  2012-01-21 08:41:34 PM
I gave mine away.
 
  2012-01-21 11:29:10 PM
donated to science.
 
  2012-01-22 06:51:31 AM
donated to science fiction
 
  2012-01-22 08:32:39 AM
I'm sure Tribbles were involved Mad.
 
  2012-01-22 10:29:35 AM
i1238.photobucket.com
 
Ni!
  2012-01-22 12:57:39 PM
My god damn head is exploding. I hate people so much.
 
  2012-01-22 03:54:19 PM

Ni!: My god damn head is exploding. I hate people so much.


Keep calm and make a cocktail.
 
  2012-01-22 03:57:03 PM
Keep Calm and get your Drink On
 
  2012-01-22 10:06:59 PM
Going to be on Bayshore in Tampa tomorrow, near lunchtime. What is the good downtown eats, Farkers?

Not looking for Haute Cuisine, just good, plentiful and so forth.
 
  2012-01-22 11:57:44 PM
Think we have settled on Moxies Cafe, downtown.
 
  2012-01-23 07:32:24 AM
i.imgur.com
 
Ni!
  2012-01-23 10:03:16 AM
My daughter's cell phone signature is
 
Ni!
  2012-01-23 10:03:55 AM
shiat.
 
Ni!
  2012-01-23 10:07:17 AM
anyway it's the word knee with a little arrow through it.
 
  2012-01-23 10:21:05 AM
>> knee >
 
  2012-01-23 10:34:53 AM
That is better than shiat.
 
Ni!
  2012-01-23 11:19:32 AM
She's 11, I expect that sort of language as long as it's properly farking deployed.
 
  2012-01-23 12:57:19 PM
Whenever my 11yo cusses, she has a hard time not giggling.
 
  2012-01-23 03:50:51 PM
I have a COLLECTION of photos of my youngest shooting the bird at the camera...It has become something of a tradition. Seriously, we have about TWENTY of them in the folder.

By the way, we ended up at 220 on Davis Island. Good burgers, better dessert.
 
  2012-01-23 03:56:57 PM
My only dropped "d", "s" and "c" bombs when she was around 3. Someone (I think it's at school) has convinced her that stupid and hate are cuss words. She no longer says cuss words but she will say "freakin" and "the s word" like that. Good Times.
 
  2012-01-24 12:53:06 PM
images.icanhascheezburger.com
*yawn*