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Main
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Mail) Fail "You put your naked supermarket burglar in my chocolate and peanut butter" -- "No, you put your chocolate and peanut butter on my naked supermarket burglar"  (dailymail.co.uk) (10)
(WWSB ABC 7) Sappy Busch Gardens welcomes ugly-ass baby giraffe to.....oh who are we kidding. She's adorable  (mysuncoast.com) (27)
(The Consumerist) PSA Buying generic is now just as expensive as buying name brands  (consumerist.com) (88)
(My Fox DC) Sad Man died while playing video games at internet cafe, but the blank stare and smell of soiled clothing allowed him to go unnoticed by fellow gamers for nine hours  (myfoxdc.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Florida Dejected bank robber wearing shorts on his head, not covering his face, leaves without money when teller nearly laughs at him. With pic of what a shorts-on-head bank robber looks like  (keysnet.com) (21)
(Boing Boing) Photoshop Photoshop this hall of hams  (boingboing.net) (33)
(Huffington Post) Sick 1-800-GET-THIN: "They cut her liver three places during the surgery and put her in a wheelchair and sent her home to die"  (huffingtonpost.com) (71)
(The Smoking Gun) Silly This week's Mugshot Roundup features assaults, DUI's, bench warrants and wait........... they arrested a melted candle?  (thesmokinggun.com) (92)
(Asheville Citizen Times) PSA I-40 in western North Carolina which was closed due to a rockslide is now closed due to two rockslides  (citizen-times.com) (15)
(LA Times) Dumbass Worker falls into nuclear reactor pool trying to recover flashlight. Worst. Origin. Story. Ever.  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (86)
 
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Sports
(Some Guy) Dumbass Because he hasn't said anything stupid for almost 24 hours, Jim Irsay would like to remind everyone that he remains close with...Parson? Patton? Peyote? What was that kid's name again?   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (28)
(ESPN) Cool Perry Farrell FINALLY weighs in on the Super Bowl  (espn.go.com) (8)
(Some prop better) Spiffy Betting on any Super Bowl props this year? LGT article with insane list of this year's prop bets  (wtsp.com) (55)
(Reuters) PSA The first round of the Drunk of the Year contest will be getting underway this weekend in Wisconsin  (reuters.com) (29)
(Slate) Amusing Protip: Whenever a news story ends with a question mark, the answer is always "no". Case in point: "Is Bill Belichick quietly the NFL's best-dressed coach?"  (slate.com) (20)
(Fox News) Interesting Indiana lawmakers pass last-minute legislation making it more difficult for thousands of men to find hookers for the Super Bowl  (foxnews.com) (33)
(Dallas News) Sad With two weeks until pitchers and catchers report, Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton already in mid-season drinking shape  (rangersblog.dallasnews.com) (80)
(NHL) Cool Sam Gagner becomes only the 12th player in NHL history to have an 8 point game. Last player was Lemieux in 1989, the year Gagner was born  (nhl.com) (91)
(SanDiegoUnionTribune) Dumbass Phil Mickelson is suing to find out the real names of people that posted nasty comments about him and his wife on the internet. Personally I heard it was Mike Hawk and Harry Sack  (utsandiego.com) (47)
(USA Today) Sad A Gordie Howe hat trick is Gordie Howe remembering where he put his hat  (usatoday.com) (35)
 
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Business
(Japan Times) Weird University hires top ninja chief as business-school professor, researching how to apply ninja precepts to business world  (japantimes.co.jp) (28)
(BBC) Asinine As you can see. A completely ordinary Greek debt. Now, if I just cover it with a handkerchief & say, "Abracadabra".... Hey presto All gone  (bbc.co.uk) (48)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting Airlines say passenger demand grew 6% in 2011 ... 2% wanted lower fares, 2% wanted fewer delays, 2% wanted better service  (businessweek.com) (13)
(Business News Daily) Fail Do you consider yourself to be a non-conformist despite ironically conforming to everyone else? Enjoy your murderphone  (businessnewsdaily.com) (92)
(BusinessWeek) Obvious Sorry Mario, but our profits are in $1 phone apps instead of your $50 castle  (businessweek.com) (57)
(Click On Detroit) Interesting Employees at Detroit McDonald's locked in freezer after store robbery, enjoy the break from Michigan weather  (clickondetroit.com) (16)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting Crematorium to broadcast funerals live on the internet, allowing you to toast the dearly departed in your bathrobe  (mirror.co.uk) (22)
(News.com.au) Fail Facebook will soon offer a "Premium Subscription Service" that will offer you more, and better ads. Now who wouldn't want that?  (news.com.au) (70)
(BusinessWeek) Followup After the earthquake, it appears that waste water dumping in Ohio has become a big fracking deal  (businessweek.com) (42)
(Boing Boing) Fail I could be wrong, but I believe that this resort advertisement has been Photoshopped  (boingboing.net) (96)
 
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Geek
(My Fox DC) Sad Man died while playing video games at internet cafe, but the blank stare and smell of soiled clothing allowed him to go unnoticed by fellow gamers for nine hours  (myfoxdc.com) (72)
(ZDNet UK) Spiffy Future of ACTA, Europe's SOPA cousin, in doubt after someone forgot Poland  (zdnet.co.uk) (27)
(MSNBC) Weird Researchers in Antarctica discover weird lakes that move, crawling like syrup. Antarctic trifecta complete  (msnbc.msn.com) (35)
(The Register) Fail I know some of those words in the headline are English, but they can't be rearranged into anything meaningful  (theregister.co.uk) (41)
(TorrentFreak) Followup Just in time for the Super Bowl, a bunch of those sports streaming websites shut down by the Feds are back online with new domain names  (torrentfreak.com) (73)
(Yahoo) Interesting Eighteen-mile crack seen in Antarctic glacier. Coming Up Next: Unfrozen Giant Caveman Plumber  (gma.yahoo.com) (22)
(Some Guy) Cool New experiment will force creationist arguments to evolve  (tgdaily.com) (179)
(Time) Interesting There may be too many people for Earth, but not for Super Earth  (time.com) (35)
(Network World) Interesting Curt Schilling's 38 Studios proves that some games take even longer than baseball  (networkworld.com) (50)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Alien visitation is not going to happen. SLEEP. There is nothing on our planet that aliens would need. OBEY. If intelligent creatures exist on other planets they likely won't visit Earth. CONSUME  (nydailynews.com) (103)
 
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Entertainment
(Variety) Sad Erotic filmmaker Zalman King dies at 69  (variety.com) (18)
(New York Magazine) Silly How to spot The X-Files in Breaking Bad, Homeland, and American Horror Story. I want to believe  (nymag.com) (14)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Queen chooses new Queen to be lead singer of Queen. Queen  (dailymail.co.uk) (38)
(Cracked) Cool Six of the biggest and most elaborate F*CK YOUs given to the music industry by musicians  (cracked.com) (40)
(Yahoo) Silly Willow Smith whipped her hair back and forth so many times that it fell out  (omg.yahoo.com) (18)
(Starpulse) Followup The demand to see the upcoming "Lovelace" movie with Amanda Seyfried has suddenly experienced shrinkage  (starpulse.com) (138)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting The top 50 modern films made for under $10m each  (denofgeek.com) (129)
(vindy.com) Strange Alec Baldwin is getting scary good at impressions  (vindy.com) (32)
(Entertainment Weekly) Strange Suddenly, How I Met Your Mother has become the most-watched show on CBS. The network has no idea how this happened  (popwatch.ew.com) (164)
(BBC) Dumbass Black Sabbath drummer threatens to pull out of band's reunion unless they offer him respect, dignity, and a "signable contract". Guess he's never seen Spinal Tap  (bbc.co.uk) (27)
 
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Politics
(Huffington Post) Stupid Since they don't get enough attention in this country, Arizona lawmaker proposes a holiday to celebrate white people  (huffingtonpost.com) (40)
(Daily Kos) Amusing Orly Taitz loses birther case to an empty table  (dailykos.com) (161)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Added to the list of words you never want associated are "Gingrich" and "trampoline"  (thegrio.com) (80)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting Obama's job news hits new low  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (542)
(The Morning Call) Scary And now, a friendly doomsday warning from Rick Santorum  (mcall.com) (126)
(The Daily Beast) Spiffy Study says Republicans have more orgasms, probably from farking 99% of the population  (thedailybeast.com) (112)
(NPR) Followup Komen reverses funding change due to it not having broad appeal  (npr.org) (739)
(Stuff.co.nz) Unlikely Roseanne Barr for president. No, really ....STOP LAUGHING  (stuff.co.nz) (40)
(Short List) Fail 10 examples of politicians trying to be funny. Complete with cringe-inducing videos. Tumbleweeds missing though  (shortlist.com) (22)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "Cry me a freaking river," says Komen's new CEO about totally coincidental new policy to defund groups beginning with 'P' and rhyming with "bland parenthood"  (jezebel.com) (145)
 
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Video
(YouTube) Strange A-Ha's Take On Me, as interpreted by a quintet of North Korean accordionists  (youtube.com) (30)
(YouTube) Video 3 to 1 odds he finishes first (mildly NSFW)  (youtube.com) (45)
(Wimp) Video Since the field is pretty narrow, I'll just go ahead and call this guy a feather duster virtuoso  (wimp.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Video Creeeepy...but so well done  (vimeo.com) (22)
(YouTube) Amusing If you're going to do a news story about a massive cockfighting operation busted in San Diego with over 2000 cocks discovered, you may not want to let a woman read the copy  (youtube.com) (22)
(Popoholic) Video Adriana Lima featured in an onslaught of Super Bowl 2012 commercials  (popoholic.com) (24)
(YouTube) Video Lego Captain America... wtf did I just watch?  (youtube.com) (26)
(Break) Sappy Another one of those touching Thai life insurance commercials. What a drag  (break.com) (41)
(LiveLeak) Video Boom goes the Headshot  (liveleak.com) (19)
(Team Coco) Amusing Andy Richter impersonates Newt Gingrich, and then it gets awesome  (teamcoco.com) (27)
 
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