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Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy) Dumbass Steal a beer, go to prison for 5 years. Sounds about right  (postbulletin.com) (18)
(Toronto Star) Interesting Court says grandmother can be jailed up to six months for "stunt driving" after she went too fast passing a big truck  (thestar.com) (36)
(Daily Mail) Cool Great news. Popular snack bar is renovated and reopened for business after being destroyed......1,921 years ago  (dailymail.co.uk) (49)
(Mirror.co.uk) Dumbass Paramedic gives a lift to five drunken teenage girls. For some reason his superiors have a problem with this  (mirror.co.uk) (31)
(Brantford Expositor) Silly When in Yellowstone Park you are most likely to be injured by (a) bear, (b) deer, (c) squirrels  (brantfordexpositor.ca) (18)
(UPI) Followup U.S. Navy hospital ship Comfort returns to Baltimore after two months in Haiti. Obviously, all problems are solved there now, and we can stop sending money, right?  (upi.com) (51)
(Yahoo) Obvious Catcalling women turns them against all men. Even the white knights  (news.yahoo.com) (231)
(Yahoo) Obvious Where do God-fearing Real Americans most like to live? They would be in Mississippi, which leads the nation in religious belief. Where are the godless heathens hiding from the Lord? Head on up New Hampshire and Vermont (damn hippie commies)  (news.yahoo.com) (143)
(The Pulse) Sad The tale of the life and times of a noble chicken. It's not news, it's... really not news  (chattanoogapulse.com) (18)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Followup Minnesota DOT and bridge inspector agree to settlement, avoiding lawsuit over I-35W bridge collapse that would have made both look like incompetent morons  (startribune.com) (23)
FARK   More Main links ... (...)

Sports
(Yahoo) Weird Does MLB Spring Training exist outside of the time-space continuum? "The Royals led 21-0 after 4 innings..." Yes, THOSE Royals  (sports.yahoo.com) (2)
(ESPN) Amusing So close...yet so far. NCAA Day 3 tournament discussion thread  (games.espn.go.com) (213)
(6 Nations Rugby) Spiffy Ireland vs Scotland, Wales vs Italy and Cocks vs Poms: It's your Six Nations Rugby discussion  (rbs6nations.com) (24)
(BBC) Cool Fernando Torres will score, Nemanja Vidic will be sent off, and other less predictable things in your weekend EPL discussion thread  (news.bbc.co.uk) (16)
(Some Guy) Fail In a move surprising no one, Saints owner jacks up the price of season tickets whose holders have paid for the last 43 years of losing seasons  (wwltv.com) (47)
(Washington Post) Unlikely "I want everyone to know I'm not running from anything at all," Bellotti said on his way out the door at ludicrous speed  (washingtonpost.com) (35)
(ESPN) Dumbass U.S. teen who left high school to join overseas basketball league can now add "quitter" to "dropout" on his resume  (sports.espn.go.com) (53)
(ESPN) Interesting Michigan to have first night game in 2011 against Notre Dame, presumably because the fail surrounding both programs is as bright as day  (sports.espn.go.com) (34)
(Yahoo) Obvious Rangers manager Ron Washington admits he used various drugs as a player. "I'm not proud of it," he said, "but I want everyone to know that these were isolated incidents. Thousands and thousands of isolated incidents."  (sports.yahoo.com) (19)
(Some Guy) Silly Kevin Harvick calls Carl Edwards a "fake". Edwards says Harvick is a bad person and since Carl is a really nice guy he'd only choke a person if they really had it coming and Kevin had it coming  (scenedaily.com) (20)
FARK   More Sports links ... (...)

Showbiz
(Entertainment Weekly) Unlikely 13 child actors who didn't end up working at a drycleaner, robbing a video store, doing porn, and overdosing on prescription meds  (ew.com) (20)
(Chud) Interesting The role of Captain America is now Chris Evans' to lose. Well, at least it's not Channing farking Tatum  (chud.com) (8)
(Some Zod) Fail Eddy Barrows will join hack writer J. Michael Straczynski in ruining the Superman franchise  (digitalspy.com) (25)
(E! Online) Followup Ellen DeGeneres arranges $30,000 scholarship for lesbian teen who's prom was cancelled. She even offers to pay for a replacement prom  (eonline.com) (114)
(Contact Music) Fail Demi Moore and that ugly chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding save one of their Twitter followers from committing suicide. Dammit, the last thing those two need is a fanbase  (contactmusic.com) (23)
(TMZ) Sick Brittany Murphy's husband and mother were very concerned with her prescription drug use. So concerned, they assumed aliases and used multiple pharmacies to assist her in getting over 100 different prescriptions filled  (tmz.com) (31)
(Some Doctor Who Fan) Obvious New Doctor Who trailer reveals just how emo and awful the new Doctor will be, and how hot his redheaded companion is  (kasterborus.com) (121)
(YouTube) Video Sandra Bullock speaks fluent German. Schwïng!  (youtube.com) (93)
(Breitbart.com) Weird You can't remake the Rockford Files, says John Nolte...holy hell, the man has written something that actually makes sense  (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (36)
(SlashFilm) Asinine The producers of the Captain America movie aren't farking around anymore, they're serious this time. The list to play Cap is down to three people. They think you'll be pleasantly supr...oh Jesus H. Christ, are you farking kidding me?  (slashfilm.com) (101)
FARK   More Showbiz links ... (...)

Geek
(Some Guy) Interesting Newly discovered planet CoRoT may or may not have water and has temperature swings from -23°C to 157°C. Back home we just call that Denver  (esa.int) (6)
(USA Today) Ironic The usual religious protesters accost grand opening of Smithsonian exhibit on human evolution. Wait, scratch that; it was Greenpeace  (usatoday.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Interesting New device measures how long you take an average shower and warns you with flashing lights when you're going too long. Modern Technology: Taking the fun out of life since 1856  (mnn.com) (65)
(PhysOrg.com) Interesting For one instant, physicists may have broken a law of nature, divided by zero  (physorg.com) (48)
(TechEBlog) Cool Frenchman wants to retire at sea, builds cruise ship in backyard  (techeblog.com) (16)
(Some Link) Cool Nintendo says they do not like developing "Mature" rated titles for their systems. Which is fine, given that gaming should be fun and enjoyable, which is why Mario and Zelda will always be better than Resident Evil or Call of Duty  (digitalspy.com) (103)
(Fox News) Obvious Study finds yet another way you are an insensitive jerk  (foxnews.com) (26)
(Kotaku) Asinine Criticizing Apple's app store will result in your app getting pulled from Apple's app store. Think different wasn't a suggestion  (kotaku.com) (45)
(Bloomberg) Obvious The case for iPad not beating iPhone's first 3-months of sales  (bloomberg.com) (37)
(PCWorld) Obvious The case for iPad beating iPhone's first 3-months of sales  (pcworld.com) (25)
FARK   More Geek links ... (...)

Politics
(Daily Kos) Amusing Tea Partiers interviewed at "Code Red" protest in DC. Hope you got your "dumb" goggles on  (dailykos.com) (34)
(Breitbart.com) Amusing Not news: Constituent calls Congressman's office to voice his opinion on health care. News: Staffer hangs up, calls Capital Police on him. Fark: Capital Police tells staffer to STFU and take the call  (biggovernment.com) (59)
(ABC News) Obvious Obama slaps Boehner over finance reform. Giggity  (blogs.abcnews.com) (26)
(Fox News) Obvious ACORN on the verge of bankruptcy. Gee, One wonders how that could have Possibly happened?  (foxnews.com) (78)
(Talking Points Memo) Fail GOP, in an effort to stay classy, sent out fake memo on Medicare changes  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (203)
(MSNBC) Stupid Estimated cost of $197 billon F-35 fighter jet fleet now up to $329 billion due to "inflation". Other reasons for increased costs include: buying fewer aircraft  (msnbc.msn.com) (99)
(Boston Herald) Misc Massachusetts governor pulls out ALL CAPS to defend in-state tuition for illegals. Submitter is OUTRAGED and OVERTAXED and has A SORE PINKY FINGER  (bostonherald.com) (53)
(Wizbang) Amusing Why Obama would fit in perfectly on Fark: "Like all trolls, President Obama is impervious to logic, recognition of the failure of his plans and the irrational character of his rhetoric and vulgar flavor of his behavior"  (wizbangblog.com) (160)
(Daily Kos) Amusing Anthony Weiner (D-NY) reams Scott Garrett (R-NJ) for reading the hoax memo on the floor of the U.S. House, thus proving that some Democrats have balls  (dailykos.com) (82)
(Minnesota Independent) Dumbass Michele Bachmann on health-care vote: "They are going to profane the Sabbath." Yes, I'm sure Jesus is really upset about trying to help the poor and sick  (minnesotaindependent.com) (350)
FARK   More Politics links ... (...)

Video
(YouTube) Video Mr. Rogers would've been 82 today, and right here is the greatest acceptance speech ever given - at least it is once Tim Robbins finishes his longwinded intro  (youtube.com) (3)
(YouTube) Video Carl Reiner, the 2,000 year old man turns 88 today. Here he is on the Late Late Show, way past his bedtime  (youtube.com) (4)
(Google) Amusing Join Mike, Servo, and Crow as the MST3K crew tackles "Riding With Death" and embarks on a search for the elusive Robert Denby  (video.google.com) (17)
(YouTube) Cool Joan Jett & The Blackhearts topped the charts this day in 1982 with "I Love Rock and Roll." See, she didn't need the Runaways to be successful  (youtube.com) (32)
(YouTube) Video Sandra Bullock speaks fluent German. Schwïng!  (youtube.com) (93)
(YouTube) Spiffy End your week with a smile: Cat and baby wrestling  (youtube.com) (30)
(YouTube) Cool __________________________ | __________________________  (youtube.com) (37)
(YouTube) Video Metal Hammer gets Ke$ha to listen to some new singles from a bunch of metal bands with amusing results  (youtube.com) (48)
(YouTube) Interesting Mars Loops The Loop  (youtube.com) (23)
(YouTube) Amusing Weird Al does commentary on his own home movies  (youtube.com) (9)
FARK   More Video links ... (...)

Music
(Contact Music) Obvious Emma Bunton, humanity at large, not ready for a Spice Girls reunion  (contactmusic.com) (8)
(NME) Cool Big Star will play a show in honor of Alex Chilton at SXSW...alongside modern rockers R.E.M. Talk about a fitting tribute  (nme.com) (23)
(YouTube) Cool Joan Jett & The Blackhearts topped the charts this day in 1982 with "I Love Rock and Roll." See, she didn't need the Runaways to be successful  (youtube.com) (32)
(YouTube) Spiffy When you think "Party of Five", you think "Closer to Free" by the 'BoDeans'. Thankfully, this isn't that song, but they can rock "Good Things" live  (youtube.com) (18)
(Some Drug Addict) Obvious Amy Winehouse annoys her neighbors. NO, YOU DON'T SAY  (digitalspy.co.uk) (5)
(YouTube) Strange Louis Armstrong ... the death metal years  (youtube.com) (15)
(YouTube) Video Metal Hammer gets Ke$ha to listen to some new singles from a bunch of metal bands with amusing results  (youtube.com) (48)
(YouTube) Cool Lost on a deserted island for 20 years, an 80's metal band only had a mix tape of 80's pop. What else are you gonna do?  (youtube.com) (33)
(Contact Music) Silly Pete Doherty praises the British penal system. Heh. Penal  (contactmusic.com) (2)
(YouTube) Cool Best a capella cover of one of the greatest Queen songs you'll hear...well ever  (youtube.com) (12)
FARK   More Music links ... (...)

Business
(The Consumerist) Amusing K-Mart, the big-box retailer everyone forgets exists, sends out an email coupon to select markets; learns the hard way people post those things on the internet and get pissed when they can't use them  (consumerist.com) (14)
(Kotaku) Asinine Criticizing Apple's app store will result in your app getting pulled from Apple's app store. Think different wasn't a suggestion  (kotaku.com) (45)
(Bloomberg) Obvious The case for iPad not beating iPhone's first 3-months of sales  (bloomberg.com) (37)
(PCWorld) Obvious The case for iPad beating iPhone's first 3-months of sales  (pcworld.com) (25)
(AP) Interesting Old & busted: Your child taking the #6 school bus to school. New hotness: Your child taking the school bus sponsored by the Wesayso Corporation  (app.com) (35)
(CNN) Sad Dear Google: Will you please buy us out and put us out of our misery? Sincerely, Palm Inc  (money.cnn.com) (46)
(AJC) Dumbass It's hard out here for a bank CEO. After their banks failed, CEOs are filing bankruptcy because unemployment can't pay their six mortgages  (ajc.com) (48)
(ABC News) Interesting Curious about how the health care vote will go this weekend? Want to see who already knows the outcome?  (abcnews.go.com) (173)
(Free Press) Sad Jerry York: Ex-Chrysler, IBM chief of finance was candid: "They're very nice people, but I don't see a killer instinct to tear the competition a new a**hole." He'll be missed by us all  (freep.com) (19)
(The Raw Story) Fail Imagine, if you can, the worst thing possible for the Federal Reserve bank to do. Now everybody panic  (rawstory.com) (132)
FARK   More Business links ... (...)

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