| Source | Fark Headline | Comments | |
| (Some Guy) | Steal a beer, go to prison for 5 years. Sounds about right (postbulletin.com) | (18) | |
| Court says grandmother can be jailed up to six months for "stunt driving" after she went too fast passing a big truck (thestar.com) | (36) | ||
| Great news. Popular snack bar is renovated and reopened for business after being destroyed......1,921 years ago (dailymail.co.uk) | (49) | ||
| Paramedic gives a lift to five drunken teenage girls. For some reason his superiors have a problem with this (mirror.co.uk) | (31) | ||
| (Brantford Expositor) | When in Yellowstone Park you are most likely to be injured by (a) bear, (b) deer, (c) squirrels (brantfordexpositor.ca) | (18) | |
| U.S. Navy hospital ship Comfort returns to Baltimore after two months in Haiti. Obviously, all problems are solved there now, and we can stop sending money, right? (upi.com) | (51) | ||
| Catcalling women turns them against all men. Even the white knights (news.yahoo.com) | (231) | ||
| Where do God-fearing Real Americans most like to live? They would be in Mississippi, which leads the nation in religious belief. Where are the godless heathens hiding from the Lord? Head on up New Hampshire and Vermont (damn hippie commies) (news.yahoo.com) | (143) | ||
| (The Pulse) | The tale of the life and times of a noble chicken. It's not news, it's... really not news (chattanoogapulse.com) | (18) | |
| Minnesota DOT and bridge inspector agree to settlement, avoiding lawsuit over I-35W bridge collapse that would have made both look like incompetent morons (startribune.com) | (23) | ||
| More Main links ... | (...) | ||
| Does MLB Spring Training exist outside of the time-space continuum? "The Royals led 21-0 after 4 innings..." Yes, THOSE Royals (sports.yahoo.com) | (2) | ||
| So close...yet so far. NCAA Day 3 tournament discussion thread (games.espn.go.com) | (213) | ||
| (6 Nations Rugby) | Ireland vs Scotland, Wales vs Italy and Cocks vs Poms: It's your Six Nations Rugby discussion (rbs6nations.com) | (24) | |
| Fernando Torres will score, Nemanja Vidic will be sent off, and other less predictable things in your weekend EPL discussion thread (news.bbc.co.uk) | (16) | ||
| (Some Guy) | In a move surprising no one, Saints owner jacks up the price of season tickets whose holders have paid for the last 43 years of losing seasons (wwltv.com) | (47) | |
| "I want everyone to know I'm not running from anything at all," Bellotti said on his way out the door at ludicrous speed (washingtonpost.com) | (35) | ||
| U.S. teen who left high school to join overseas basketball league can now add "quitter" to "dropout" on his resume (sports.espn.go.com) | (53) | ||
| Michigan to have first night game in 2011 against Notre Dame, presumably because the fail surrounding both programs is as bright as day (sports.espn.go.com) | (34) | ||
| Rangers manager Ron Washington admits he used various drugs as a player. "I'm not proud of it," he said, "but I want everyone to know that these were isolated incidents. Thousands and thousands of isolated incidents." (sports.yahoo.com) | (19) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Kevin Harvick calls Carl Edwards a "fake". Edwards says Harvick is a bad person and since Carl is a really nice guy he'd only choke a person if they really had it coming and Kevin had it coming (scenedaily.com) | (20) | |
| More Sports links ... | (...) |
| 13 child actors who didn't end up working at a drycleaner, robbing a video store, doing porn, and overdosing on prescription meds (ew.com) | (20) | ||
| The role of Captain America is now Chris Evans' to lose. Well, at least it's not Channing farking Tatum (chud.com) | (8) | ||
| (Some Zod) | Eddy Barrows will join hack writer J. Michael Straczynski in ruining the Superman franchise (digitalspy.com) | (25) | |
| Ellen DeGeneres arranges $30,000 scholarship for lesbian teen who's prom was cancelled. She even offers to pay for a replacement prom (eonline.com) | (114) | ||
| Demi Moore and that ugly chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding save one of their Twitter followers from committing suicide. Dammit, the last thing those two need is a fanbase (contactmusic.com) | (23) | ||
| Brittany Murphy's husband and mother were very concerned with her prescription drug use. So concerned, they assumed aliases and used multiple pharmacies to assist her in getting over 100 different prescriptions filled (tmz.com) | (31) | ||
| (Some Doctor Who Fan) | New Doctor Who trailer reveals just how emo and awful the new Doctor will be, and how hot his redheaded companion is (kasterborus.com) | (121) | |
| Sandra Bullock speaks fluent German. Schwïng! (youtube.com) | (93) | ||
| You can't remake the Rockford Files, says John Nolte...holy hell, the man has written something that actually makes sense (bighollywood.breitbart.com) | (36) | ||
| The producers of the Captain America movie aren't farking around anymore, they're serious this time. The list to play Cap is down to three people. They think you'll be pleasantly supr...oh Jesus H. Christ, are you farking kidding me? (slashfilm.com) | (101) | ||
| More Showbiz links ... | (...) |
| (Some Guy) | Newly discovered planet CoRoT may or may not have water and has temperature swings from -23°C to 157°C. Back home we just call that Denver (esa.int) | (6) | |
| The usual religious protesters accost grand opening of Smithsonian exhibit on human evolution. Wait, scratch that; it was Greenpeace (usatoday.com) | (26) | ||
| (Some Guy) | New device measures how long you take an average shower and warns you with flashing lights when you're going too long. Modern Technology: Taking the fun out of life since 1856 (mnn.com) | (65) | |
| For one instant, physicists may have broken a law of nature, divided by zero (physorg.com) | (48) | ||
| Frenchman wants to retire at sea, builds cruise ship in backyard (techeblog.com) | (16) | ||
| (Some Link) | Nintendo says they do not like developing "Mature" rated titles for their systems. Which is fine, given that gaming should be fun and enjoyable, which is why Mario and Zelda will always be better than Resident Evil or Call of Duty (digitalspy.com) | (103) | |
| Study finds yet another way you are an insensitive jerk (foxnews.com) | (26) | ||
| Criticizing Apple's app store will result in your app getting pulled from Apple's app store. Think different wasn't a suggestion (kotaku.com) | (45) | ||
| The case for iPad not beating iPhone's first 3-months of sales (bloomberg.com) | (37) | ||
| The case for iPad beating iPhone's first 3-months of sales (pcworld.com) | (25) | ||
| More Geek links ... | (...) |
| Tea Partiers interviewed at "Code Red" protest in DC. Hope you got your "dumb" goggles on (dailykos.com) | (34) | ||
| Not news: Constituent calls Congressman's office to voice his opinion on health care. News: Staffer hangs up, calls Capital Police on him. Fark: Capital Police tells staffer to STFU and take the call (biggovernment.com) | (59) | ||
| Obama slaps Boehner over finance reform. Giggity (blogs.abcnews.com) | (26) | ||
| ACORN on the verge of bankruptcy. Gee, One wonders how that could have Possibly happened? (foxnews.com) | (78) | ||
| GOP, in an effort to stay classy, sent out fake memo on Medicare changes (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) | (203) | ||
| Estimated cost of $197 billon F-35 fighter jet fleet now up to $329 billion due to "inflation". Other reasons for increased costs include: buying fewer aircraft (msnbc.msn.com) | (99) | ||
| Massachusetts governor pulls out ALL CAPS to defend in-state tuition for illegals. Submitter is OUTRAGED and OVERTAXED and has A SORE PINKY FINGER (bostonherald.com) | (53) | ||
| (Wizbang) | Why Obama would fit in perfectly on Fark: "Like all trolls, President Obama is impervious to logic, recognition of the failure of his plans and the irrational character of his rhetoric and vulgar flavor of his behavior" (wizbangblog.com) | (160) | |
| Anthony Weiner (D-NY) reams Scott Garrett (R-NJ) for reading the hoax memo on the floor of the U.S. House, thus proving that some Democrats have balls (dailykos.com) | (82) | ||
| (Minnesota Independent) | Michele Bachmann on health-care vote: "They are going to profane the Sabbath." Yes, I'm sure Jesus is really upset about trying to help the poor and sick (minnesotaindependent.com) | (350) | |
| More Politics links ... | (...) |
| Mr. Rogers would've been 82 today, and right here is the greatest acceptance speech ever given - at least it is once Tim Robbins finishes his longwinded intro (youtube.com) | (3) | ||
| Carl Reiner, the 2,000 year old man turns 88 today. Here he is on the Late Late Show, way past his bedtime (youtube.com) | (4) | ||
| Join Mike, Servo, and Crow as the MST3K crew tackles "Riding With Death" and embarks on a search for the elusive Robert Denby (video.google.com) | (17) | ||
| Joan Jett & The Blackhearts topped the charts this day in 1982 with "I Love Rock and Roll." See, she didn't need the Runaways to be successful (youtube.com) | (32) | ||
| Sandra Bullock speaks fluent German. Schwïng! (youtube.com) | (93) | ||
| End your week with a smile: Cat and baby wrestling (youtube.com) | (30) | ||
| __________________________ | __________________________ (youtube.com) | (37) | ||
| Metal Hammer gets Ke$ha to listen to some new singles from a bunch of metal bands with amusing results (youtube.com) | (48) | ||
| Mars Loops The Loop (youtube.com) | (23) | ||
| Weird Al does commentary on his own home movies (youtube.com) | (9) | ||
| More Video links ... | (...) |
| Emma Bunton, humanity at large, not ready for a Spice Girls reunion (contactmusic.com) | (8) | ||
| (NME) | Big Star will play a show in honor of Alex Chilton at SXSW...alongside modern rockers R.E.M. Talk about a fitting tribute (nme.com) | (23) | |
| Joan Jett & The Blackhearts topped the charts this day in 1982 with "I Love Rock and Roll." See, she didn't need the Runaways to be successful (youtube.com) | (32) | ||
| When you think "Party of Five", you think "Closer to Free" by the 'BoDeans'. Thankfully, this isn't that song, but they can rock "Good Things" live (youtube.com) | (18) | ||
| (Some Drug Addict) | Amy Winehouse annoys her neighbors. NO, YOU DON'T SAY (digitalspy.co.uk) | (5) | |
| Louis Armstrong ... the death metal years (youtube.com) | (15) | ||
| Metal Hammer gets Ke$ha to listen to some new singles from a bunch of metal bands with amusing results (youtube.com) | (48) | ||
| Lost on a deserted island for 20 years, an 80's metal band only had a mix tape of 80's pop. What else are you gonna do? (youtube.com) | (33) | ||
| Pete Doherty praises the British penal system. Heh. Penal (contactmusic.com) | (2) | ||
| Best a capella cover of one of the greatest Queen songs you'll hear...well ever (youtube.com) | (12) | ||
| More Music links ... | (...) |
| K-Mart, the big-box retailer everyone forgets exists, sends out an email coupon to select markets; learns the hard way people post those things on the internet and get pissed when they can't use them (consumerist.com) | (14) | ||
| Criticizing Apple's app store will result in your app getting pulled from Apple's app store. Think different wasn't a suggestion (kotaku.com) | (45) | ||
| The case for iPad not beating iPhone's first 3-months of sales (bloomberg.com) | (37) | ||
| The case for iPad beating iPhone's first 3-months of sales (pcworld.com) | (25) | ||
| Old & busted: Your child taking the #6 school bus to school. New hotness: Your child taking the school bus sponsored by the Wesayso Corporation (app.com) | (35) | ||
| Dear Google: Will you please buy us out and put us out of our misery? Sincerely, Palm Inc (money.cnn.com) | (46) | ||
| It's hard out here for a bank CEO. After their banks failed, CEOs are filing bankruptcy because unemployment can't pay their six mortgages (ajc.com) | (48) | ||
| Curious about how the health care vote will go this weekend? Want to see who already knows the outcome? (abcnews.go.com) | (173) | ||
| Jerry York: Ex-Chrysler, IBM chief of finance was candid: "They're very nice people, but I don't see a killer instinct to tear the competition a new a**hole." He'll be missed by us all (freep.com) | (19) | ||
| Imagine, if you can, the worst thing possible for the Federal Reserve bank to do. Now everybody panic (rawstory.com) | (132) | ||
| More Business links ... | (...) |