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(AJC) Amusing Officer tasers waffle house employee because its fun to taser waffle house employees  (ajc.com) (19)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing "She appeared to be bouncing up and down on the driver's lap in a very vigorous motion," police reported. With photo goodness  (thesmokinggun.com) (99)
(Politifact) Obvious "Back on June 27, 2008, PolitiFact published a story we hoped would put the whole Obama birth certificate controversy to rest. Oh, how naive we were."  (politifact.com) (224)
(New4Jax) Florida Man attacks realtor with hammer. Good Samaritan returns fire with paperweight. If only there was a tag to tell where this happened  (news4jax.com) (24)
(Free Republic) Strange Three-way sex leads to double-stabbing. At least the sex-to-stabbing ratio is still greater than 1  (freerepublic.com) (63)
(Daily Kos) Dumbass Man passes the bar exam on his 4th try. Bar examiners deny him a license because he hasn't made a single payment on his $400,000 student loans in 26 years  (dailykos.com) (168)
(ScienceBlogs) Unlikely New poll shows that Americans have as higher level of understanding of evolution than any other country in the world  (scienceblogs.com) (195)
(Boston Globe) Cool For those in the Northeast who read Fark: How to build an ark  (boston.com) (135)
(TC Palm) Florida Although chasing your girlfriend around with a machete while drinking a cold Keystone Ice may seem perfectly reasonable to you, it's still against the law. Even in Florida  (tcpalm.com) (66)
(CBS News) Dumbass Who shot Neda? Iran says doctor on the scene saw who did it, Interpol is seeking him. Interpol: "We're doing what?"  (cbsnews.com) (91)
FARK   More Main links ... (...)

Sports
(The Sporting Blog) Amusing Shaq brings embarrassing photo of Cavs GM Danny Ferry to press conference in Cleveland, proving he already has leverage for an extension next summer  (sportingnews.com) (2)
(Some Guy) Sad Defending LPGA Jamie Farr champ Paula Creamer misses her tee time. Hundreds of "golf fans" in Toledo now trying to find something else to do with their weekend  (toledoonthemove.com) (14)
(The Sporting Blog) Asinine BCS chairman stands on roof and shouts "You're with us or you're against us" ... metaphorically speaking  (sportingnews.com) (13)
(CNN) Cool Normal: Top 10 relief pitchers of all time. Bonus: Half of the list should also be in a Top 10 list for best porn 'staches  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (19)
(The Sporting Blog) Amusing FOX News explains how Yankees players get sick: showering with other men  (sportingnews.com) (10)
(ESPN) Stupid Former Yankee Jim Leyritz charged with battery. First steroids in baseball, now there were robots too?  (sports.espn.go.com) (18)
(Yahoo) Interesting Celtics after Rasheed Wallace and Grant Hill, trying to reunite the 2001 NBA All Star team  (sports.yahoo.com) (38)
(Bitten and Bound) Interesting Jessica Simpson embarrassed herself yet again with her screechy rendition of the National Anthem as Tiger Woods and Tony Romo prepared to golf. No word on how it affected their game  (bittenandbound.com) (29)
(CBC) Weird CFL receiver in trouble after celebrating touchdown by pretending to be a dead Michael Jackson. "I made the mistake of telling him that once he got to the end zone I didn't care what he did," says coach  (cbc.ca) (173)
(ESPN) Dumbass Vanderbilt football signee thinks he signed with (insert any other SEC school here); faces felony burglary charge  (myespn.go.com) (24)
FARK   More Sports links ... (...)

Showbiz
(Atom) Fail MJ: I copped a Feel. Or in his case, never copped a feel  (atom.com) (13)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Face it, Kevin, you're fooling nobody. Complete with "Please believe I'm not gay" pic  (dailymail.co.uk) (111)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Stupid Hollywood scrapes the bottom of the barrel and comes away with "Asteroids: The Movie." PEW, PEW, PEW  (aintitcool.com) (213)
(Slate) Spiffy Want to strip then write a book? Here are common themes: You're someone we'd least suspect. But stripping feels strangely natural. And you're not like the ones doing it for meth  (doublex.com) (89)
(Contact Music) Followup Hayden Panettiere says that her misspelled tattoo is "no big deal," because she doesn't have to look at it. But the rest of us do, Hayden. The rest of us do  (contactmusic.com) (145)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Local Council order Sir Cliff Richard to reduce the size of his erection by 30%  (getsurrey.co.uk) (10)
(Reuters) Interesting Movie studios fail to realize that all you have to do to market to hipsters is tell them the movie sucked  (reuters.com) (136)
(Franklin Avenue) Sad Casey Kasem's "American Top 20" goes the way of a little dog named Snuggles  (franklinavenue.blogspot.com) (117)
(Celebitchy) Weird Kellie Pickler is dating Kid Rock. Submitter just threw up in his mouth a little  (celebitchy.com) (91)
(Some Peacekeeper) Cool A&E secures the rights to Farscape, will release a complete series edition on DVD & Blu-Ray in November. All thirteen fans have already put in their preorders  (tvshowsondvd.com) (95)
FARK   More Showbiz links ... (...)

Geek
(MacWorld) Video "The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel." Neuromancer turns 25  (macworld.com) (33)
(ScienceBlogs) Unlikely New poll shows that Americans have as higher level of understanding of evolution than any other country in the world  (scienceblogs.com) (195)
(Greenwire) Sad Puffin population suffers rapid decline. Probably all the cigarettes  (eenews.net) (11)
(Discover) Cool Vogons eyeballing two new planetary systems. Hitchiker trifecta now in play  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (18)
(Yahoo) Ironic People who are unsure of their own beliefs are less open minded. Suck it agnostics  (news.yahoo.com) (742)
(UPI) Interesting Scientists who inbred bumblebees find that the bees were less successful, and more interested in NASCAR  (upi.com) (42)
(Reuters) Sad 17,000 species threatened with extinction. Savory, delicious, BBQ sauce-coated extinction  (reuters.com) (44)
(Metro) Interesting Engineers design robotic rat to rescue people from burning buildings, find Sarah Mouser  (metro.co.uk) (9)
(Independent) Cool Secret of schizophrenia unlocked by scientists. Yeah right. And I'm Napoleon Bonaparte. And so am I  (independent.co.uk) (47)
(The Register) Interesting Facebook New Privacy Settings...These should make everyone happy (about a minute ago)  (theregister.co.uk) (19)
FARK   More Geek links ... (...)

Politics
(Politifact) Obvious "Back on June 27, 2008, PolitiFact published a story we hoped would put the whole Obama birth certificate controversy to rest. Oh, how naive we were."  (politifact.com) (224)
(Washington Post) Fail Congress passes law limiting credit card interest rate hikes. So, not being as stupid as Congress thinks they are, credit card companies increase rates months before the law kicks in. Thanks, Congress  (washingtonpost.com) (106)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Too much money is spent on health care administration, which is why Medicare is a good model for a universal system in the US. The same Medicare that's easier to defraud than doing a business deal with your dog  (online.wsj.com) (76)
(MSNBC) Fail Obama economy gets highest score in 26 years - 1 in 10 workers now live on unicorn farts  (msnbc.msn.com) (148)
(Washington Examiner) Obvious Those taxpayer dollars loaned to banks by TARP are actually making a profit. Which Barney Frank wants to spend like he's antiquing in Provincetown  (washingtonexaminer.com) (220)
(MSNBC) Stupid Sen. Franken may be spoofed on SNL, a show he use to be on, were he spoofed a senator once on a committee he may actually serve on (saved you six paragraphs of reading there)  (msnbc.msn.com) (237)
(Washington Post) Interesting John "The 'Stache" Bolton: Israel, it's time for you to do what you do best against Iran  (washingtonpost.com) (255)
(Politico) Ironic Washington Post selling access to DC power elite, reporters for as much as $250,000; gets scolded by lobbybist for dubious ethics  (politico.com) (45)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious From the GOP: It's official, Michele Bachmann has gone full retard  (blogs.wsj.com) (376)
(CBS News) Obvious Sarah Palin's campaign emails pretty much prove if she became president she'd nuke the Dutch for not noticing her new hairdo  (cbsnews.com) (144)
FARK   More Politics links ... (...)

Video
(Atom) Fail MJ: I copped a Feel. Or in his case, never copped a feel  (atom.com) (13)
(MacWorld) Video "The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel." Neuromancer turns 25  (macworld.com) (33)
(YouTube) Video I see your Boston one man cover and raise you with a Rush YYZ one man cover  (youtube.com) (19)
(LiveLeak) Amusing Someone call Michael Bay. We need some damn explosions in this thing  (liveleak.com) (42)
(LiveLeak) Amusing Hitler Finds Out Michael Jackson Has Died  (liveleak.com) (37)
(YouTube) Cool Step one: Learn to play every necessary rock instrument. Step 2: Flawlessly play all instruments to Boston's Foreplay/Long Time. Step 3: Finally get laid  (youtube.com) (58)
(Yahoo) Video Baby deer, oblivious to how the food chain works in the wild, plays with dog. Awwwwwwww  (video.yahoo.com) (18)
(YouTube) Sad Buddy Guy performs "The First Time I Met the Blues" from the movie Chicago Blues, 1970  (youtube.com) (36)
(Revivl) Video Faith No More pelted with bottles, Green Day starting a mud fight And Henry Rollins being Henry Rollins: 10 bands vs. fans moments  (revivl.com) (29)
(YouTube) Amusing "WTF Japanese movie trailer" of the day: RoboGeisha  (youtube.com) (57)
FARK   More Video links ... (...)

Music
(News.com.au) Strange Unbelievably, Marilyn Manson has gained so much weight he now looks like Danny DeVito in "Batman Returns" (with pics)  (news.com.au) (7)
(Miami Herald) Sad Two Degrees  (miamiherald.com) (6)
(Some Guy) Silly Hip-hop producer Atarilogic loves satin jackets, sucks at hoops  (rufkm.net) (10)
(YouTube) Sad Buddy Guy performs "The First Time I Met the Blues" from the movie Chicago Blues, 1970  (youtube.com) (36)
(3 News New Zealand) Interesting How doing things wrong has improved music over the years  (3news.co.nz) (80)
(JSOnline) Cool Earth, Wind & Fire and Chicago team up at Summerfest for a concert to remember. Unfortunately, they probably won't  (jsonline.com) (15)
(NME) Unlikely Pete Doherty says that his duties with The Libertines, Babyshambles, and his solo career can all coexist and be done simultaneously. Heroin, it's a helluva drug  (nme.com) (12)
(Wired) Amusing Five albums that should be tossed into a black hole. "We may never see the likes of Chinese Democracy again. And that is a very, very good thing."  (wired.com) (172)
(Celebitchy) Weird Amy Winehouse is coming out with a line of greeting cards. Under NO circumstances should you lick the envelope  (celebitchy.com) (24)
(YouTube) Video Before singing "Cornflake Girl," Tori Amos sang for Kellogg's in this Just Right commercial from 1987  (youtube.com) (46)
FARK   More Music links ... (...)

Business
(Washington Post) Fail Congress passes law limiting credit card interest rate hikes. So, not being as stupid as Congress thinks they are, credit card companies increase rates months before the law kicks in. Thanks, Congress  (washingtonpost.com) (106)
(National Post) Interesting Increasingly desperate Ford now offering people $100 just to test drive one of its crapmobiles  (nationalpost.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Amusing The evil Rupert Murdoch claims he's not interested in buying The New York Times, but we know better than than, don't we?  (poynter.org) (55)
(Yahoo) Fail The guy at the SEC who was in charge of regulating Madoff was married to Madoff's niece  (news.yahoo.com) (21)
(Yahoo) Obvious Biggest corporate blunders so far this year, until AIG starts that land war in Asia they've been talking about  (finance.yahoo.com) (21)
(NME) Strange Budweiser's newest ad campaign features a cover of the Beatles' "All Together Now" courtesy of The Hours. That's one heck of a target demographic right there  (nme.com) (10)
(ClusterStock) Asinine 467,000, 9.5, and 700,000. That's the number of jobs lost last month, the new unemployment rate, and the average bonus a Goldman Sachs employee can look forward to for 2009  (businessinsider.com) (120)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Wal-Mart endorsed universal health care to get the unions off its back and further crush competitors  (online.wsj.com) (26)
(Washington Examiner) Obvious Those taxpayer dollars loaned to banks by TARP are actually making a profit. Which Barney Frank wants to spend like he's antiquing in Provincetown  (washingtonexaminer.com) (220)
(USA Today) Obvious Obama expands assistance to poor decision makers  (usatoday.com) (80)
FARK   More Business links ... (...)

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