Man tracks down ex-girlfriends to find out why they broke it up, for film: “It wasn’t you it was me”, “I just want to be friend” and “You jammed my mum up against a door and kissed her” tops the lists	(1)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop this plug	(30)
		Obese lady judge who needs motorized scooter to get around made bailiff put her shoes on, massage her back, cover her with a blanket for naps and make sure her oxygen tank was filled. Bull wants a raise	(39)
(wkyc)		Inmate gets 30 extra days behind bars and a$1,500 fine for sharing an oatmeal cream pie with one of his buddies	(23)
		Principal suspends boys for sitting during the Pledge of Allegiance. Upon hearing the news, the ACLU stands at attention	(111)
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		Will the refs give Crosby a 9.0 on his diving? Will the Flyers notice Timonen's out? Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals, Flyers vs Penguins	(34)
(Some Guy)		John Daly shoots 67 to trail by 3 on day 1; shoots 73 to trail by 11 on day 2. That's the Daly we know and love	(8)
(Bob Fitzsimmons)		How the NBA can be realigned to fix the regular season and the playoffs	(91)
		New baseball bats snap in half too easily, sending dangerous projectiles toward players, coaches and fans. Whoever thought it was a good idea to switch to maple was an ash-hole	(38)
		Top five conspiracy theories in sports. Please don your tin foil hats as you enter	(166)
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		Eva Mendes decides the best way to reintroduce herself to the world following her rehab stint is to do a Vogue photo spread in which she's topless and sucking her own toes	(14)
		Viggo Mortensen rumored to replace Kevin Costner as Lt. John Dunbar in "Dances With Wolves 2: Electric Boogaloo"	(40)
(Comingsoon.net)		Sequel to "Donnie Darko" to start filming later this month. Special edition DVD already planned to explain it to the simple minded	(97)
		Greatest. Press. Release. Ever. "Spaced" finally coming to the U.S	(49)
		After 16 seasons, won't someone please vote Jeff Probst off the damn island/continent/planet?	(48)
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		Finally deciding to listen to fans, EA removes craptastic validation from PC version of Mass Effect, even letting users play without the DVD in the drive	(36)
(TV Week)		Wilmington, North Carolina, you're the first in line to play "Where Are My TV Stations?"	(22)
(Some Guy)		Interview with Ralph Baer, the father of video games	(14)
		RIAA channels Baghdad Bob, says DRM is not dead, there has never been DRM-free music. Never. It's not there	(28)
		Apple to try and push the Mac as a gaming platform. Good luck with that	(94)
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		Ted Kennedy says that Obama is unlikely to pick Clinton for his running mate, and that he should pick someone who "is in tune with his appeal for the nobler aspirations of the American people.'' Oh snap	(63)
		Al Gore will not accept a cabinet post, no matter who wins. Which is convenient, because no one has offered him one. In related news, Submitter will not accept $5 million, no matter who offers it	(34)
		Now free to show much they've always disliked her, Hillary Clinton's "working, hard-working, white Americans" line has started a firestorm of righteous indignation among high-ranking Democrats	(172)
		Mitt Romney finally admits that maybe athiests are citizens also	(96)
		Obama takes the superdelegate lead. Hillary adds another name to her "Judas List"	(232)
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		Probably the most important question to ask a law enforcement officer: "Am I free to go?"	(244)
(Some Guy)		Goofy short film that shows how to properly film action sequences on a shoestring budget	(11)
		Stephen Colbert mourns the passing of Albert Hoffman by accidentally getting high on LSD	(25)
(WHNT)		Close-up video of a small tornado tossing cars around like toys	(13)
		Not news: Paris Hilton on Letterman. News: She played ice hockey in high school. Fark: Letterman asks her how often she scored	(19)
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		David Cook performs free in Kansas City	(5)
(FMQB)		Staind, 3 Doors Down and Hinder announced they will join forces this summer for a tour. Before you bash you head into the wall is disgust, be thankful that they lost Nickelback's phone number	(60)
		Happy Friday everyone	(14)
		Hurdy-Gurdy awesomeness	(20)
(Blabbermouth.net)		Dave Grohl's open letter to Metallica: Don't release your album if it sucks	(60)
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		Citigroup ponders $400,000,000,000 asset fire sale. Vultures seen circling the rotting corpse	(40)
		Down and out in London: Homeless population soars after banks foreclose upon homes they knew buyers would never be able to pay for	(15)
(Some Guy)		Volkswagen to build 235-mpg car that looks like it came out of a Hot Wheels collection	(61)
		GM plans to take their large trucks and SUVs on a long walk off a short pier	(38)
(Some Guy)		You've come a long way, baby. Cigarette ads from yesteryear, including "The Flintstones"	(26)
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