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(Herald Tribune) Dumbass Don't light firecrackers directly in front of your eye   (heraldsun.news.com.au) divider line 49
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6431 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2004 at 10:20 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

49 Comments   (+0 »)


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madball6 2004-04-11 10:22:38 PM  
trying to get here first for a change

 
BEEE240 2004-04-11 10:24:15 PM  
Good job!

 
gumpish 2004-04-11 10:24:41 PM  

 
DoctaCheeko 2004-04-11 10:24:52 PM  
"when it burst into flames"
im curious as to what else it could do.. freeze?

 
madball6 2004-04-11 10:25:06 PM  
But seriously, gotta be careful with them things.... my father had to have his hand put back together from a quick fuse on an m-80 (a real m-80 not the crap they have now) i was like five when it happened, i just remember the blood and nightmares for a couple weeks......

 
Slapula 2004-04-11 10:25:17 PM  
third!

 
MorningBreath [TotalFark] 2004-04-11 10:25:40 PM  
Don't light firecrackers directly in front of your eye

don't do it behind the eye either. Your brain asplode.

 
Wananah 2004-04-11 10:26:09 PM  
I'm excited

 
Slapula 2004-04-11 10:26:44 PM  
must learn to refresh

 
destrip 2004-04-11 10:27:41 PM  
Simple solution: don't sell fireworks to idiots. It's asshats like this that gave rise to mockeries like "safe and sane" fireworks, as well as all out bans.

 
DoctaCheeko 2004-04-11 10:28:32 PM  
it used to be a game for my friends and i to hold m80s as long as possible right up until they sploded then throw them either up in the air or at somebody.. we mustve been one lucky bunch

 
Torneko57 2004-04-11 10:29:13 PM  
Well, if I ever feel stupid, least I know i didn't light a firework in my eye, thus making me an intellectual!

 
TheProtong 2004-04-11 10:29:17 PM  
Fireworks that aren't dangerous are fireworks that suck.

 
St_Ides [TotalFark] 2004-04-11 10:29:31 PM  
Caution: Aim away from face.

 
BEEE240 2004-04-11 10:30:13 PM  
Had a "black cat" fire cracker (the kind that come in bricks) blow up in my hand, next to my ear. Felt like someone had slammed my hand in a door. I also couldn't hear out of my right ear for about an hour.

/GLAD

 
airzonk 2004-04-11 10:30:56 PM  
Oh oh, one more fireworks headline and we'll have a trifecta!

 
BEEE240 2004-04-11 10:31:20 PM  
hmph...

GLAD it wasn't an M80 is what I was trying to say.

 
Death_Toll 2004-04-11 10:33:33 PM  
We have an old child's swingset in our backyard that is composed of metal tubing. One fine day, I decided to stick a firecracker into one end of the topmost tube. When it asploded, a sparrow fell out the other end. It wasn't dead, just stunned.

/good times, good times...

 
madball6 2004-04-11 10:33:58 PM  
Yes, be glad, be very very glad......

/whimpering in a corner now from the flashbacks

 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark] 2004-04-11 10:34:08 PM  
I saw my friend hold a "dud" in his fingers and it went off. His fingers swelled double their size. What an idiot.

 
madball6 2004-04-11 10:37:30 PM  
Also i dont recommend throwing a pack (144) of bottlerockets into a beach bonfire with 13 of your closest friends. 4 people got hit..... some scorched clothes was the worst of it.... actually i do recommend it, was funny as hell watching people hit the ground, so long as no one gets hurt

 
ToStupidTooCare 2004-04-11 10:40:55 PM  
The incident comes four months after a coroner called for all fireworks to be banned after the death of an Endeavour Hills teenager in June 2002.

it took the coroner almost a year and a half to call for the ban of all fireworks after someone died?

 
SimuLord 2004-04-11 10:41:16 PM  
You know what that means...now I'll do a dance.

/my eye, it hurts so bad

 
Howard Dean 2004-04-11 10:42:36 PM  
"Imagine a firecracker in the palm of your hand. Set it off, what happens? You burn your hand, right? You close your fist around the same firecracker and set it off... pff. Your wife's going to be opening your ketchup bottles for the rest of your life."


Or something like that...

 
SpinStopper [TotalFark] 2004-04-11 10:44:03 PM  
Watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow.

And more words of obvious wisdom. Like, don't light yourself on fire, don't hit bullets with rocks, don't put your hand in the garbage disposal and turn it on, don't see if you can gargle with Drano... the list goes on...

 
michaeltrout 2004-04-11 10:44:26 PM  
Has anyone asked Great White whether this is a good idea or not?

 
rts 2004-04-11 10:45:18 PM  
Don't put salt in your eye, either.

/obscure Canadian reference

 
Scrotar 2004-04-11 10:46:49 PM  
Nonsense. I challenge anyone to post a link supporting the notion that shrapnel can cause eye damage.

Before the jingoists offer their usual torrent of crap links, let me add a qualifier: unbiased sources, please.

 
JerkStore 2004-04-11 10:50:24 PM  
"OK, good safety tip. Thanks, Egon..."

 
ToStupidTooCare 2004-04-11 10:54:51 PM  
let me add a qualifier: unbiased sources, please.

is there an overwhelming amount of biases on this subject that i don't know about?

 
mad_asshatter 2004-04-11 11:02:02 PM  
The incident comes four months after a coroner called for all fireworks to be banned after the death of an Endeavour Hills teenager in June 2002.

Damn busybody coroner. Natural selection ain't broke-- don't try to fix it.

 
RockIsDead 2004-04-11 11:11:26 PM  
Surgeon General declaration: "All duds should be examined closely to see why they misfired."

/Stop chasing Darwin away!

 
Lemmon714 2004-04-11 11:29:16 PM  
"It wasn't dead, just stunned."

Pining for the fiords?

 
ScubaDoo 2004-04-11 11:41:05 PM  
Weird flashback...anyone remember the story last year where a dumbass was showing off and put a lit pipe-bomb in his mouth?

 
mylow 2004-04-11 11:43:20 PM  
This should have a PSA tag

 
El_Swino 2004-04-11 11:50:10 PM  
Had a cherry bomb go off in my hand when I was 10 or so. We were lighting and tossing them, I just held it a bit too long.

NOW I TYPE WITH MY TONGUE!

Actually, no. My fingers turned blue and swelled up for a bit, but we just kept at it, as we had lots more cherry bombs to get through before Mom came home. Kids need to experience stuff like that, it toughens them up.

 
Eric42 2004-04-11 11:53:26 PM  
If they didn't sell fireworks to the idiots, who would then sell them to? =P

 
NTF 2004-04-11 11:58:53 PM  
Two fireworks articles.....anyone have the trifecta?

 
Richie 2004-04-12 12:09:19 AM  
rts, that's what I thought of as well.

"Never put salt in your eyes."

 
i-likes-maple-syrup 2004-04-12 12:43:12 AM  
Howard Dean: Deep Impact.

/movie dood

 
Grevados 2004-04-12 12:46:10 AM  
rts
Kids In the Hall is NOT obscure.

Large bottle rockets are at their best with a 3 to four foot piece of pvc. Snap off the stick, and have a friend light it while you aim your "rocket launcher" at your neighbor's house/suv/3 year old child/etc.

I speak from experience here.

 
DoNotSwallow 2004-04-12 12:47:18 AM  
Any firework that can't blow up a mailbox isn't a fire work.

 
Dr. Sloan 2004-04-12 01:57:12 AM  
Xtremehkr

Ever seen Hong Kong 1941? Plenty of aural explosions to be had in that movie.

 
ratboy 2004-04-12 03:00:13 AM  
One July 4th, a group of us were displaying our love of country by dropping acid, drinking beer, smoking dope and setting off fireworks. One of our addled brains got the idea that it would be funny to light a group of m-80's as a team effort. Three of us committed to lighting four each along the top of a rock wall. The plan worked great, all fuses were lit and the demo squad retreated to a safe distance before the first bomb went off, scattering the remaining eleven in all directions. It was like being in an mortar barrage. They were going off behind, in front, above us. The smoke cleared and by some miracle, no one was injured.

35 years of doing stupid things with fireworks with only a small scar below my left eye.

 
Vaeric 2004-04-12 03:58:45 AM  
Grevados
ahhh, yes. Bottle rocket wars. Our battles have grown to the size that we now require goggles and safe areas for players to pause for a moment to check for smoldering clothes. And let me tell you, having a black cat bottle rocket hit you in the balls and then blow up isn't the most fun experience you'll ever have.

Yes, sometimes I like to be an idiot, but I wouldn't trade a second of it for the world.

 
SimuLord 2004-04-12 05:50:24 AM  
Blasting shiat in the night with Roman candles = fond memories of my misspent youth.

It's farking AMAZING I was never either caught or responsible for thousands of dollars in property damage. By all accounts I should've been hauled in for attempted arson.

/I don't ask questions, I just thank the gods

 
Nitsuj 2004-04-12 11:57:35 AM  
Funniest headline ev4r!!!1!exclamationpoint

 
nertzy 2004-04-12 12:29:46 PM  
This isn't from the Herald Tribune, it's from the Herald Sun. But oh well, who's counting?

 
GenoistheShit! 2004-04-12 06:27:28 PM  
<b>Stupid people</b>

 
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