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(Pravda) Amusing Power of a kiss: Medics talk   (pravda.us) divider line 36
More: Amusing  
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11869 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2004 at 11:06 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

36 Comments   (+0 »)


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mizike 2004-04-11 07:02:42 PM  
Cool, a healthier, happier wang without cavities or wrinkles!

 
mad_asshatter 2004-04-11 07:56:22 PM  
While you are kissing, your brain conducts instant chemical analysis of your partner's saliva and issues a "verdict" of your genetic compatibility.

Holy crap. Really!?

Too bad the same chemical analysis can't screen for total psycho biatches. That would have saved me years of wasted time.

 
Barfmaker 2004-04-11 08:28:24 PM  
Oh ... so my dentist was just anesthetizing me?

 
michaeltrout 2004-04-11 11:11:00 PM  
Huey Lewis knew the Power of Love all along.

 
bobbette [TotalFark] 2004-04-11 11:13:49 PM  
Hmm... now I feel better for being makeout-easy in junior high.

 
treehuggingbiologist 2004-04-11 11:14:41 PM  
that'd be one helluva pick up line:

dude "hey baby, did you know that by kissing we're increasing our levels of endorphins and antibiotics that actually help to heal the human body? Add to that how it allows for us to exchange antibiotic resistance and i think its a forgone conclusion that we should kiss"
MASE!!
dude "aaaaaaaargh!!! my eyes!!!"

maybe it wouldn't work. but when it does...

 
ScubaDoo 2004-04-11 11:15:06 PM  
Sounds like I need to get me a perscription!

 
pixelated walrus 2004-04-11 11:16:51 PM  
Is it just me, or have headline writers become really lazy today?

 
Rangsk 2004-04-11 11:20:31 PM  
Yeah, why don't they just shove it in our faces... "not only are you not getting any, but us that are are healthier, look better, are slimmer, and feel less pain!"

 
eclecticbmxer 2004-04-11 11:28:17 PM  
I call bullshiat. One kiss is more than effective than a dose of morphine...sure...

 
skankboy 2004-04-11 11:32:10 PM  
Is this super short headline day?

 
Sir_boxalot 2004-04-11 11:33:10 PM  
The headline is translated and kinda funny.

 
ZenBen 2004-04-12 12:03:21 AM  
"We lose no less than 12 calories during every passionate kiss. However, one does not have to be a love fanatic to lose a few extra pounds. Scientists claim that 3 kisses a day (20 seconds each) will be enough to make you lose an entire extra pound."

Screw Atkins. Based on that math, every 60 seconds of making out "will be enough to make you lose an entire extra pound." Ergo, after a 15-minute makeout session you'll lose 15 pounds. I'm seconding eclectic's call of bullshiat!

 
Balki's Homeland 2004-04-12 12:10:09 AM  
</still no cure for ca...wait a second

 
TruthMustBeTold 2004-04-12 12:15:04 AM  
what about rimjobs?

/crickets

//drunk

 
cskrat 2004-04-12 12:29:50 AM  
God I'm lonely

 
DaNightTripper [TotalFark] 2004-04-12 12:42:33 AM  
me too :(

 
godiluvbeer 2004-04-12 12:45:41 AM  
I'm not lonely...beer loves me and I love her, uh....I mean it just the same. Ok fine...I'm lonely too. Time for a beer.

 
Universal Acid 2004-04-12 12:47:56 AM  
yup, lonely am I as well :(

 
Northernexposed 2004-04-12 12:52:05 AM  
Rim job + knobber = loss of 248 pounds

/but I'll never realy know...

 
caddycompson 2004-04-12 01:25:45 AM  
WTF. Do boring kisses count? or at least help out ?

/long relationship dyin slow JK rye

 
retched 2004-04-12 02:03:58 AM  
Id take the morphine over most kisses ive had...

 
mizike 2004-04-12 02:18:03 AM  
Come on guys..
You're ignoring the first unspoken rule of fark: Thou shalt not publicly wallow in self-pity, instead take a detached cynical attitude to cover up the inner pain of being what most of society would consider an outcast. It's still OK to hate most women for all the pain and suffering they cause us.

 
FarkingUpTheWrongTree 2004-04-12 03:02:57 AM  
*joins tonight's dejected and loveless club*

Well, at least I have something in common with other humans now :)

 
Kurmudgeon 2004-04-12 03:06:59 AM  
"We lose no less than 12 calories during every passionate kiss."
Heck, I can do better than that if I fart at the same time..... ..........what?

 
FarkingUpTheWrongTree 2004-04-12 03:15:01 AM  
Most of that stuff sounds fairly reasonable; I mean heck, I can burn calories by sneezing, or get a good dose of antioxidants by eating dark chocolate. But what's this genetic compatibility bullsh|t?? If our tongues are capable of genome analysis, why haven't they started growing them in vials in pharmaceutical labs for research purposes?

 
The Armani Ninja 2004-04-12 04:24:19 AM  
While you are kissing, your brain conducts instant chemical analysis of your partner's saliva and issues a "verdict"* of your genetic compatibility.


*This "verdict" is probably the little thoughts your having while with your other.

"Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this girl/this guy, I feel so - Oh crap! Is Orlando Bloom on Conan tonight? DID I SET MY VCR? I hope this is over with quick...."

 
The Armani Ninja 2004-04-12 04:25:06 AM  
Erm. You're*, rather.

 
BrassHat 2004-04-12 04:27:18 AM  
FarkingUpTheWrongTree
You just gave someone an idea that will yield them a billion-dollar patent while leaving you the poor bastard that you are.

 
Telos 2004-04-12 04:37:50 AM  
I call shenanigans. The first paragraph claims saliva prevents cavities, when in fact it is the saliva eating away at sugars on your teeth that _Cause_ cavities.

 
Ivan_and_Norma_Sweeney 2004-04-12 06:48:17 AM  
FarkingUpTheWrongTree

If our tongues are capable of genome analysis, why haven't they started growing them in vials in pharmaceutical labs for research purposes?

Oh, great; thanks for giving them the idea. The world is frucked up enough without having labs full of bank after bank of live, disembodied, wriggling human tongues. Wait'll they get loose and wreak their unholy vengeance on mankind.

 
I missed something 2004-04-12 09:46:41 AM  
Did anyone else look at the stories on the side bar, about Isreal being the gate to hell and that Russia conqured Mars 30 years ago? Is this a "real" newspaper, or a Russian equivelent of a tabloid?

 
YMW 2004-04-12 12:11:37 PM  
waiting for power of a blowjob...

 
mcvarmazi 2004-04-12 02:29:53 PM  
Was this headline an obscure Tears for Fears reference that I missed?

 
TheCableGuy 2004-04-12 03:09:53 PM  
ok. im calling the s-word.

i shoulda lost 30-45 pounds early this morning based on the algorithm provided in the article.

TCG

 
Dr.Knockboots [TotalFark] 2004-04-12 04:16:33 PM  
you guys would get lucky with the ladies if:

-you drove an old beat to crap car and didnt care about what people thought of it.
-listened to bands/groups no one ever heard of.
-cared not for fashion or clothing choice.
-went against the grain because its cool.
-were anti-establishment.
-disliked anything thats popular.


...oh wait..

 
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