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(ZDNet) Asinine No, it's not you, spam really is up 650% from last year.   (news.zdnet.co.uk) divider line 52
More: Asinine  
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4840 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2001 at 12:47 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»

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fb- 2001-12-09 12:51:36 PM  
They wouldn't do it if it didn't work. Don't blame the spammers, blame the idiots that buy shiat from them.

 
thejerseydevil 2001-12-09 12:54:02 PM  
I thought that they were talking about the food spam. My fault.

 
Geddysciple 2001-12-09 01:02:20 PM  
Nothing says X-mas like

 
blorscht 2001-12-09 01:02:21 PM  
Im sorry but when there is a link to the "Goner Virus," im not going to click it. It's one of those techniques i've used to keep from getting viruses.

 
madcharlie [TotalFark] 2001-12-09 01:08:03 PM  
I've got the Boner Virus. It's primarily dormant, but is agitated by exposure to boobies, booty, and the occasional elbow (when I'm drunk).

 
dahaka 2001-12-09 01:17:35 PM  
Spam sucks... best technique I have heard of to fight it is for the mail administrator to keep a database of approved senders and recipients. Any incoming mail is checked against the database, if there is no match, it is thrown into a temporary queue (tossed out after a few days or weeks) while an email is sent to the original sender saying "Your email has not been delivered yet. Click this link or reply to this email to authenticate yourself and allow this and all future emails through."
Spammers will never/rarely authenticate since their return addresses are usually spoofed anyway and it is a very minor inconvenience to anyone else. The first email they send they must click on a link to get it through.
Yes, it's a complicated method, but it works wonderfully. Chances are good you will never see a piece of spam.

 
SpaceCoyote 2001-12-09 01:24:21 PM  
Spam donor sued for network support costs.

 
b0rg9 2001-12-09 01:40:55 PM  
I've always liked this warning from Spambusters.

 
Seymour Gibbs 2001-12-09 01:42:19 PM  
I tell ya, if somebody tries sending me a farking 5mb xmas screensaver theyre getting subscribed to a gay porn mailing list in return. Ill check fark if I want to find amusing stuff then I have the option whether to waste my time downloading it - what kind of idiots "hoard stuff in their inboxes" anyway? n00bie idiots - thats who!

 
Rebbic 2001-12-09 01:43:05 PM  
Nice to know that that anti-spam legislation passed a while back is doing so much good. I got put on a spam mailing list a while back when I registered at a fan website for a game I used to play. Now I get 30-50 e-mails a day offering me GREAT DEALS! All that shiat offering you a way to "unsubscribe" to their service does is let them know that you are actually reading what they send.

BAH! Spammers should be shot!

 
scraping-fetus-off-the-wheel 2001-12-09 01:46:02 PM  
What is this?

Some kind of SCAM?

 
Nightjars 2001-12-09 01:47:04 PM  
Spam = Evil

People who read spam = Evil

People who ran fricken attachments on messages that say things like "Hi, I thought you might like this. I gotta go, see ya!" or similar should be shot.

 
dcho 2001-12-09 01:47:31 PM  
The article sounds like it's talking about stuff that friends are sending around (like Elf Bowling). I thought spam was unsolicited commercial e-mail. This isn't spam, it's just an annoying friend.

If somebody I know sends me a game or screensaver or whatever, it's hardly the same as getting an offer from 125323­[nospam-﹫-backwards]oohay*c­o­m offering to extend my weener.

 
Quadraton [TotalFark] 2001-12-09 02:04:51 PM  
Dammit. I'm tired of being marketed to by every company out there that can spend a few bucks to make my life a miserable hell.

 
Newbaca 2001-12-09 02:09:40 PM  
Yeah, I'm with Punk. Get a free email address to do whatever you want, like say, sign up for a Fark account or anything else online. Never check it except when you expect something being sent to you, then just wait for the mailbox to die on it's own. Hotmail has a 2 meg limit, doesn't take long for those babies to die. Rinse and repeat.

 
tre_bumpn 2001-12-09 02:22:03 PM  
I do the same thing punkr does also, its easy. I never look in one of them.

 
Robot Ninja 2001-12-09 02:27:38 PM  
is there a way to BLOCK spam? i mean, a program that will scan an email for words like "incredible" or "deal" or even "discount" and mark it as possible spam? I notice that alot of spam arrives at certain times of the day for me, like 12pm and 12am.

 
Dr_Satan 2001-12-09 02:32:33 PM  
A good method of blocking spam is for a program to check if your address is in to TO or CC line. Since most spam uses the BCC method.

 
dahaka 2001-12-09 02:36:06 PM  
Another good line to filter is "this is not spam". That stops quite a few.

 
Curious [TotalFark] 2001-12-09 02:50:50 PM  
the second spam address works until one of your "friends" sends you something that adds you to a database. thanks to that i now get a daily "joke" ...aurgh and a ton of other uselss junk.

 
shanrick [TotalFark] 2001-12-09 03:04:45 PM  
Mr. Bun: Morning.

Waitress: Morning.

Mr. Bun: Well, what you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; (Vikings start singing in background) spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

Vikings: Spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, lovely spam.

Waitress: (cont) or lobster thermador ecrovets with a bournaise sause, served in the purple salm Mr. Bunor with chalots and overshies, garnished with truffle pate, brandy, a fried egg on top and spam.

Mrs. Bun: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it.

Mrs. Bun: I don't want any spam!

Mr. Bun: Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?

Mrs. Bun: That's got spam in it.

Mr. Bun: It hasn't got as much spam in it as spam, egg, sausage and spam has it?

Mrs. Bun: (over Vikings starting again) Could you do me egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Ech!

Mrs. Bun: What do you mean ech! I don't like spam!

Vikings: Lovely spam, wonderful spam....etc

Waitress: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Bloody vikings. You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.

Mrs. Bun: I don't like spam!

Mr. Bun: Shh dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam. (starts Vikings off again)

Vikings: Lovely spam, wonderful spam...etc

Waitress: Shut up! Baked beans are off.

Mr. Bun: Well, can I have her spam instead of the baked beans?

Waitress: You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam?

Vikings: Lovely spam, wonderful spam...etc...spam, spam, spam! (in harmony)

 
_ 2001-12-09 03:09:31 PM  
Another good line to filter is "this is not spam". That stops quite a few.

Also: "You are receiving this message because you have elected to be on our mailing list".

 
Jraxis 2001-12-09 03:27:17 PM  
Fb-,

Yes, they'd do it even if it didn't work. Most spam isn't sent by the actual entity selling the product, it's sent by professional spammers. People who sell their probably-useless services to the actual sellers of the product, claiming the spam will work. Spammer collects his money, does his thing, product still doesn't get sold, so what? It's not his product to worry about.

 
bookman 2001-12-09 03:45:07 PM  
Elf bolwing? Is that anything like Dwarf tossing?

 
gelos 2001-12-09 04:06:21 PM  
As far as large attachments go, where I work there are limits on mailbox size. So if you want to send and receive lots of stupid attachments, fine. But once your mailbox to it's limit. No more sending priveleges until you clear out some stuff.
Except for me of course since I'm the email admin :)

 
E.Twig 2001-12-09 05:28:15 PM  
The best spam I have seen lately offers to increase my ejaculate 581%. Why would I want to drown someone I love?

 
dahaka 2001-12-09 05:28:50 PM  
Frolixo: That's the sort of thing you don't share with anyone else.

 
dahaka 2001-12-09 05:31:18 PM  
E.Twig: I hope Fb- doesn't get a hold of that information/product.

 
Quick1 2001-12-09 06:05:23 PM  
It fixes that problem with chunky semen, too.

 
fumanshu 2001-12-09 06:35:44 PM  
Quick1: What about semen that is like string cheese?

 
Omar_Sharif 2001-12-09 07:22:00 PM  
Dahaka
Fb is holding as we speak.

 
rainewalker 2001-12-09 07:24:06 PM  
Speak of the devil. I just opened my e-mail box. Spam spam spam spam....

Frankly, I think it's up from last month, even.

 
deathcow 2001-12-09 08:00:13 PM  
some mornings i find like 20+ spam in my inbox

 
justjason 2001-12-09 09:10:09 PM  
What does "SPAM" mean?

Here is my guess:

Self
Promotional
Automated
Mail

 
Galland 2001-12-09 09:26:48 PM  
There's this fantasy I have where I fly to California (since the biggest spammers seem to be there) and attack a spamming business with a helicopter gunship. The missiles go streight into the center of the building before they explode, sending a hellish rain of spammer bits and building materials all over the parking lot. And then I machine gun his 'previously owned' Ferarri with the chain cannon till it explodes, killing his slightly overweight bleached-blonde girlfriend who is, for some reason, sitting in the back seat.

Cept Ferraris don't really have back seats....

The end.

Death to spammers!

 
Gear Jammer 2001-12-09 09:38:04 PM  

 
Felgraf 2001-12-09 09:57:59 PM  
You know, you'd think that if Miss Cleo was Phycic, she'd realize that I DON'T GIVE A FARK! That and I'm too young to use her "free" trial. God, I'm afraid of checking my e-mail now. Not because of Viruses, (God bless norton-antivirus. That and I use Eudora, which DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY OPEN ATTATCHMENTS)but because of all the crap I have to delete.

 
jamesey 2001-12-09 10:17:48 PM  
http://www.smartin-designs.com/

 
balsamonky 2001-12-09 10:27:44 PM  
Is it just me, or is spam much more annoying now that spammers have learned to use html? It takes me 10 times as long to get my email as it used to.

 
Unda 2001-12-09 10:56:07 PM  
I'm up much more than 650% this year.

 
Mjollnir 2001-12-09 11:00:08 PM  
How the fark do these people send 5mb e-mails anyways?

 
Jraxis 2001-12-09 11:06:56 PM  
Balsamonky,

Filter stuff based on the "Content-Type" header. HTML mail is usually "multipart/alternative". Of course to make it work right (trash HTML mail before you download) you need a shell/FTP account on the server the mail passes through and need to create a ".procmailrc" file in your home directory.

 
cheshire_cat_sf 2001-12-09 11:17:56 PM  
Hi. How are you? I send you this file in order to have your advice.

 
Trapezoid 2001-12-09 11:29:18 PM  
Hellowhowareyou: Uh, what about mailing lists you've subscribed to though?

 
Zyyth 2001-12-09 11:48:49 PM  
Fun killing filthy spam...

As hinted above, there are certain phrases, like:

"not SPAM"
"mortgage"
"viagra"
"casino"

that 99.99% of the time indicate spam. I've been building a list in my Eudora filters over the last few weeks and it catches about 90% of spam.

Some day the standards may grow up so that one can't send an email from a fake address. Until this day, spammers will forge their origins so that you'll never find them, without great effort.

 
VaxN8 2001-12-10 12:17:12 AM  
Fb- is right. It's the fault of the people who buy from the spammers, 'same as the telemarketers. Do you think they would be still telemarketing after all of these years if it didn't pay off? (Wait...did I agree with Fb- on something)... *waits for lightening to strike*

 
LadyAlexa 2001-12-10 12:50:42 AM  
And how well is TREET doing?

 
deathcow 2001-12-10 02:42:13 AM  
And how about those spam's that include active X controls and crap. I have it all disabled, so for each one I get a pop-up asking me what to do.

 
BroadwaY 2001-12-10 03:30:33 AM  
I love TREET. The chicken (?) alternative to Spampork.

 
Boppsta 2001-12-10 03:34:23 AM  
man i dont think ANYONE in the history of the world has ever bought anything from a telemarketer.

 
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