I'll start. My consulting firm hires me out and takes a cut. This year they got a $14,000+ share of what I earned.

I got a hot cocoa sampler box.

What's a holiday bonus? I've been at the same company for five years and never seen one. I'd take a cocoa sampler box about now.

My holiday bonus was cancelled, since H.R. decided that people "didn't want" to pay taxes on the traditional gift certificate. Thanks for thinking of us, H.R.!

Oh great!! Typical!! All you asshats who complain about corporations and Big Business are anti-Americans!! Maybe if you weren't such lazy fatasses you'd be a millionaire like MEEEEE!!

/not a word of that rant was sincere

I got a ball cap, wool cap and an ugly-ass shirt from my company. All of them had the company's logo on it too. No money, no free merchandise, just some crappy clothes that I wouldn't be caught dead in outside of work.

i got a 10% my next purchase coupon from safeway

My company threw a christmas party... You had to pay $5 for the food and bring your own plate... And they had some clown there doing a magic act... I think my boss is trying to get us to all kill ourselves...

I'm starting to feel better now, but not less jaded.

Tell me again why everyone is entitled to a "christmas bonus".

Not entitled, Dancin_In_Anson; don't get me wrong, I'm very appreciative of my job, and the benefits and pay really are good, but Christmas bonuses are "traditional", and simply a welcome bonus. More than not getting it, it's the cutting of bonuses that stinks...especially when the company gives an asinine reason that must have looked good on paper before someone sent it, but doesn't fool anyone for a second, and makes people resent the lie more than the cut.

</long-winded sentence>

Maybe longwinded, but dead on.

An ungrateful employee is my idea of a "crappy gift".

i got $60

i made them cash the check out of petty cash

i wouldn't ordinarily have been like that, but in the last week i've had to help coordinate and organize the shipment of over $180K of wine to our clients as holiday gifts

my jaded opinion? keeping clients happy = good. keeping employees happy = (would be) better

I tend to think of Christmas bonuses like sex on the first date. You shouldn't expect it, but, if you do get it, you're a very skilled and adept person.

Not only was there no bonus (any bonus of any kind is against company policy), but the Christmas Party was announced and canceled in the same day.

Merry Fcuking Christmas.

I own a consulting firm and hired this guy. We made $14,000+ share of what he earned.

We gave him a hot cocoa sampler box.

Christmas bonuses, in the form of an extra full week paycheck, totally rock

/productive

I got a nice lunch, a fruit basket, and a pen, replete with company logo.

Better than nothing, but it's been a good year for us, and they used to give out $50 and $100 checks...

/drinking beer, eating orange. Voting because it's there.

I got nothing, but I've got a couple friends out of work with families so I'm thankful to be employed

I work for the government. Please tell me what the word "bonus" means.

We hired this consulting firm. While they were out shopping for client gifts to give us, we looted their offices, raped their women and kidnapped their HR director.

We just Fed-Exed his polished skull back to them in a hot cocoa sampler box.

I'm going to post the memo that went out to my department this month:

In an effort to standardize the work week, non-union employees who currently work 35 hours a week will now be required to work 37.5 hours a week effective December 16. There will be no change in annual salary.

So our X-mas bonus is that we get to work an extra half hour per day with no extra pay! 'Tis the season to be exploited.

chime: LOL best post ever.

We got an email this week saying that, since Xmas gifts are now taxable, a donation would be made in our name to charity instead. I wasn't to bothered as the gift box was invariably crap - videos with company propaganda that are too short to tape over, one-size-fits-no-one fleece tops and the like.

last year i got a 52 dollar holiday bonus... it was 100, but they took taxes out before i even saw it... ok... fine... thats not the funny part... in the envelop there was also a gift certificate for a free 12 lb turkey at a local meat market... side note... it expired november 27th...

They told me there would be no money, but on my deathbed, I will achieve total consciousness.

nothing. ive been with the same company (whole foods) for six years and this is the first year they havent had holiday bonuses or a holiday themed party.

My first year with my old employer, they geve us checks the size of our normal paycheck a week before Christmas. My boss forgot to mention one important point about this: It wasn't a bonus, it was January's check early!

January was a long month that year.

/nuff said

We usually get gloves with the company logo on them. Gloves that at least 3 sizes too big for anyone.

$25 gift certificate to Marshall Fields. I'll sell it for $20 cash to whoever wants it.

$834.00 and I'm pissed.

/never satisfied

My bastard company closed our office 3 days before thanksgiving

I got a happy little CD binder. I used it for a coaster, then for something to soak up the overflow from an african violet.

Still unemployed....and so is my dad. :(

I got ratted out by a co-worker I trusted and fired.
That'll teach me to biatch about work on my journal, blech. >_<

$3200 bonus, a bottle of Asti (a tiny size I never knew they made, but it's cool, I might not drink it!), and some other little office type presents (stuff to play with mainly).

a card and a crappy little plastic pen.

same as every year - a frozen turkey.

I think they get a deal since they get them and give them to us *after* Thanksgiving.

I passed.

Blockbuster gave us an ornament and a left-over Matrix Reloaded metal DVD case. And, this is the FIRST year they've given "Non-Denominational Celebration Of The Winter-Time Months" gifts to their employees.

I was actually quite lucky and got a Christmas bonus equivalent to roughly 8 percent of my annual income. But it was from the CLIENTS not the company. The company gave me a 30$ gift certificate to Publix. Which was also appriciated.

Everyone's Collective Imaginary Friend: Isn't that kinda slavery, forcing people to work more without paying them, well either that or a pay cut, try to make a union, Something like The Union of Un-Unionized Workers or The UUUW.

I work for a hot cocoa sampler box distributor and we sold a ton of the things to consulting firms this year, yet I didn't get any x-mas bonus whatsoever.

So I took a dump in each and every one of them.

My boss walked in, yelled "Here's yer Christmas Bonus!", and kicked me square in the nuts.

Lorthos

I got locked in a room with accounting staff when the elec. died and the locks would not work. I got the # of one of the hot asain chickies inside, then got ran over by a train the next day. I have no cock now, so... that # = useless.

I got nothing. (Eckerd Drug sucks.)

Christmas gifts = taxable... dividends and capital gains (which require NO work) = not taxable. Merry Christmas!

I got Thanksgiving and the day after off, and being a "flex-time" employee (no benefits!) I got 2 days off without pay... leaving me with zilch for Christmas Gifts. I think my work also got me the Flu for Christmas. Go figure.

geez, so many bad bonus stories. i dont want to post what i got for a boonus, just want to take some negativity out of the thread.

not everyone is getting farked by their employer, even tho it seems like it with the wal-marts of the world becoming bigger and bigger.. this kind of shiat is only going to be more common.

/sigh

Last year, my Christmas bonus was Zero. The Year Before: Zero. Before that, $3k. Talk about a shock that first year I got nada.

But the story gets better - I got an early Christmas Bonus this year: They laid me off in Oct - just shy of my rollover date for vacation. I assumed I got screwed. However - they paid me the vacation anway (like 120 hours of vacation.) Well, cool - I can live on that for just a short bit.

Then the hire me on as a contractor. I make more money, get paid overtime, and charge them two separate rates (one for menial stuff like AutoCAD work, and more expensive rate to resume my Administrator duties.) They also handed over the clients to my ex-Boss, and I work for him off and on, at an even better rate than that.

Um... WFT? Get laid off, get a bonus, and start making more money.

Ya know, I think this is turning out to be a very, very Merry Christmas for once! :-)

(Will now duck and hide, and multiple Farker's shoot me because of how my 'bonus' turned out.)