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(Houston Chronicle) Scary Step 1: Texas plans to buy life insurance polices on old teachers. Step 2: Reduce health insurance benefits. Step 3: Profit.   (chron.com) divider line 48
More: Scary  
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48 Comments   (+0 »)


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George_W_Hussein 2003-12-06 07:00:13 PM  
Republicans...always have the common man closest to their heart.

 
alberia 2003-12-06 07:47:47 PM  
Further proof that Texas is evil

 
Bung_Howdy 2003-12-06 10:16:25 PM  
God bless Texas officials and our prez

*/not

 
Dacian 2003-12-06 10:20:36 PM  
finally a step 2

 
BunkoSquad 2003-12-06 10:21:49 PM  
Wouldn't it be more profitable for Texas to kill the teachers, strip what tooth fillings and organs they can (to be sold at profit) and melt the rest down into trace elements that can be sold to chemical companies?

Start looking at the big picture, people!

 
speedfreakR34 2003-12-06 10:25:33 PM  
"It is outrageous that Rick Perry would try to put the state of Texas into the death business," said Charles Soechting.

Texas is already in the death business. Just not the wait-for-old-teachers-to-die-and-make-money-off-insurance-in-their-name business.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2003-12-06 10:28:38 PM  
The democrats are probably upset that they didn't think of it first...

 
uncle_marcus 2003-12-06 10:29:02 PM  
Hasn't this taken place in the corporate world for years? I heard about it on 60 minutes or something. I mean, if corporations want to do it, why shouldn't Republicans be all for it?

/be back later with research

 
FormlessOne 2003-12-06 10:29:33 PM  
Ghouls. "The company owns you. The company will always own you. Your life benefits us, and so will your death."

Where's the Soylent Corporation when you really need them?

 
He_Hate_Me 2003-12-06 10:32:19 PM  
What's more, in many thousands of years, the bodies of the dead teachers will turn into oil which the Texans can harvest to make even more money off of them.

Yeehaw! Merry Christmas teachers! Get out on the killing grate!

 
SherKhan 2003-12-06 10:34:19 PM  
Time was when only two things were certain; death and taxes. Now it's death OR taxes, pick one. Thank God I live in the U.S. and not in Texas.

;-)

*This needlessly inflammatory post was brought to you by SherKhan who doesn't really mean the mean things he says*

 
Bung_Howdy 2003-12-06 10:35:56 PM  
FormlessOneGhouls. "The company owns you. The company will always own you. Your life benefits us, and so will your death."

Where's the Soylent Corporation when you really need them?



Texas Soylent is people!

 
Henchman 2003-12-06 10:41:48 PM  
Is this part of that "Texas Miracle" thing Dubya is always being credited for?

 
uncle_marcus 2003-12-06 10:41:59 PM  
Wow, there's a lot of sources. Easier to find than I thought. First link to an article about Wal-Mart doing the exact same thing. Second link to a press release by a (surprise!) Democratic congressman from (surprise!) Texas about his bill trying to ban the practice of doing it in secret.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/12/10/1039379835757.html
http://www.house.gov/apps/list/press/tx29_green/nr020703.html

If I've got my HTML right, they should open in a new window.

 
OTballer 2003-12-06 10:46:10 PM  
Happens all the time, they're called corporate-owned life insurance policies (COLI). Big corporations have been doing it for a while. I guess the government wants a piece of that action.

 
DrMordax 2003-12-06 10:47:34 PM  
Texas is like Bizarro Calif-- er, Kuhleefohrnya!!

And don't forget all that valuable human hair, BunkoSquad! While Gov. Perry is at it, they can mine the dead people's address books for possible soon-to-be-dead prospective windfalls. Think of all the money that could be raised and converted into massive corporate pay-offs and tax breaks for the obscenely wealthy!

...I'm sure Dennis Hastert is behind this somehow...

 
PlumsDeify 2003-12-06 10:49:31 PM  
uncle_marcus
You beat me to it. I was going to mention how Wal-Mart has been doing that with its employees. I read all about it in Jim Hightower's latest book, "Thieves in High Places: They've Stolen Our Country--And Its Time to Take It Back."

 
Glasseye 2003-12-06 10:51:55 PM  
Also called Dead Peasants Insurance, or Dead Janitors Insurance. Wal-Mart stopped buying these policies a while back after this was first publicized. (Not that I'd ever want to say anything positive about Wal-Mart.)

 
Talonpest 2003-12-06 10:52:40 PM  
Homer: Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Marge: Homer, would you please stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet?

 
Nowhereman 2003-12-06 10:55:13 PM  
Maybe they should try that here, hell my Life insurance policy is double what a teachers salary is and they get summers off

 
Publikwerks 2003-12-06 10:55:26 PM  
They should take out policies on Death-Row Inmates. Or on regular inmates, and give out extra shaving kits.
Profit!

 
Code_Archeologist [TotalFark] 2003-12-06 10:59:37 PM  
Texas Public School Systems... Investing in your death!

 
Kuta 2003-12-06 11:08:23 PM  

 
Smokahontas 2003-12-06 11:09:57 PM  
I can't accurately express how disturbing I find this.

 
clambam 2003-12-06 11:23:23 PM  
Yikes! I'm with Smokahontas.

 
HempHead 2003-12-06 11:29:55 PM  
Phil Gramm is best know as the husband of Wendy Gramm. Former member of Enron's board of directors. Its great to find out they are not out on the streets.




 
dopesniffingrhino 2003-12-06 11:32:30 PM  
Insurance companies sell life insurance at rates that will allow them to make a profit over the long run. Hence, you can't make money by buying insurance, only by selling it. However, if you are an insurance co. or broker with connections to the Texas legislature, you can add your campaign contributions (or possibly straight bribes, not sure how they work this in Texas) to your rate-setting structure and be assured of an even larger profit. There is no real downside, unless you count the waste of taxpayers' money.

 
RedSoul 2003-12-06 11:37:26 PM  
Disgusting!

 
Mouser 2003-12-06 11:39:15 PM  


Dear Governor Perry:

I'd like to thank you for your attendance at our recent
Human Potential program, "Getting the Most Out of Your
Employees." I see you've taken our course to heart, and
was wondering if you'd be interested in being a keynote
speaker at next month's seminar...

 
HempHead 2003-12-06 11:44:49 PM  
Bribes are legal in Texas as long as they are declared "campaign contributions", with the exception of the State House(that has been in effect since 1989 when Bo Pilgrim handed out $10k checks to legislators while they were voting got voters a little upset that perhaps the legislators didn't have their best interest in mind when they voted.).


http://http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/metropolitan/marshall/1903996

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2003-12-06 11:45:55 PM  
"It is outrageous that Rick Perry would try to put the state of Texas into the death business," said Charles Soechting.

Texas is not in the death business? Amnesty International begs to differ...

http://www.amnestyusa.org/news/2003/usa04112003.html

 
dopesniffingrhino 2003-12-06 11:49:22 PM  
Thanks for clarifying that, HempHead.

 
FlashGordon 2003-12-07 12:06:07 AM  
We need a Texas tag!

 
WizardX 2003-12-07 12:32:32 AM  
Make it a voluntary program. Teachers sign up, the state and teachers split the insurance payments. When the teacher croaks, the money goes into a general fund that fills the hole that will be created when Robin Hood goes away.

The Corporations get money (the only way to get our current government to agree to anything), the school system gets a little slush fund, and the teachers feel like they're at least accomplishing ONE good thing.

 
EvilHamster 2003-12-07 01:19:05 AM  
This sort of stuff is why we need for most schools to be privately run. Get the government out of it and probally most everything will improve.

 
MadSkillz 2003-12-07 01:31:13 AM  
Why is it in Texas that companies can buy life insurance on their people? that's just sick. Like Walmart when it did that.

 
YtownM 2003-12-07 02:08:16 AM  
Do we really need more proof as to why Texas should be given back to the Mexicans?

 
Juansmith 2003-12-07 02:43:00 AM  
Is anyone else really sick of that cliche? This moron didn't even use it properly.

1. Use it ONE MORE TIME...
2. ??????
3. Beatdown

 
Braf 2003-12-07 03:47:47 AM  
I thought the reasoning behind these dead peasant policies was that life insurance payments weren't taxed. Corporations would simply be investing their money in an insurance company (who then invests it elsewhere) and then wouldn't have to pay capital gains tax on the eventual profit. Now, why precisely would the government need to avoid the tax hit?

Also, if they're going to use the proceeds to shore up the "Teacher Retirement System," then why not simply make the payments to that system? I suppose the insurance companies make better investments considering that the "Teacher Retirement System" probably doesn't spend as much money lobbying legislatures.

 
therealblankman 2003-12-07 06:51:18 AM  
ENOUGH ALREADY! OUR PATIENCE IS AT AN END! WHERE IS THE "TEXAS" TAG?!!

 
SpaceCoyote 2003-12-07 07:22:57 AM  
This sort of stuff is why we need for most schools to be privately run. Get the government out of it and probally most everything will improve.

Are you farking dense? They got the _idea_ from private companies doing the same thing.

 
Toad 2003-12-07 09:17:26 AM  
Hey, what a great script for a movie of the week.

Val-Mart the mega-superstore chain takes out life insurance on all of its workers, and then they start dropping like flies. Big box of Bisquick falls on Julie's head one day. Freak propane accident in aisle 12. It would be great.

 
El_Camino_SS 2003-12-07 10:11:51 AM  
When hearing about this, does anyone NOT think that the practice of dead peasants insurance shouldn't get you a trip to Federal Ass Pounding prison?

I remember recently about this practice in Michael Moore's new book, Dude Where's My Country?

I realize that many of you ultra-conservatives must think me some Commie freak for even bringing it up, but when Michael Moore wrote about dead peasants insurance I thought, "this smells like bull."

Of course, as usual, he was right. And the same a-holes that do this are trying to do this in Texas.

When you think about it, if this is the way Texas conservatives run the system, and Bush, Enron, Dead Peasants insurance, The Saudi Royal family's other home, and the oil jerks that started all of this mess ALL come from there, I would like to put forth the radical notion that Texas conservatives are TRULY EVIL.

Just thought I'd let you know that.

 
gjerdine 2003-12-07 10:18:23 AM  
I think the bottom line here is that you'd hope that when so many people think this smells so bad we wouldn't have to worry about it. Some would say freedom is letting business (or the state) do stuff like this, I think it's being sure they won't.

 
Ezimar 2003-12-07 02:25:31 PM  
El_Camino says:
"When you think about it, if this is the way Texas conservatives run the system, and Bush, Enron, Dead Peasants insurance, The Saudi Royal family's other home, and the oil jerks that started all of this mess ALL come from there, I would like to put forth the radical notion that Texas conservatives are TRULY EVIL."
_______________

As a native Texas, let me assure you that yours is not a "radical notion" - it's more like common knowledge.

 
clambam 2003-12-07 06:29:14 PM  
Sorry, if fark had a "Texas" tag, it would also need a "Massachusetts" tag, a "California" tag, a "New Jersey" tag ad, well not infinitum, but ad quinquegintium if I remember my Latin correctly. Hey, it would be more fun to enumerate the states that DON'T deserve their own tag. Ohio? New Mexico? Just where is the "Common Sense" state?

 
PimpJuice [TotalFark] 2003-12-07 06:58:42 PM  
I am sitting in an office about 4 blocks from Rick Perry. I'm going to boo at the governor's mansion, again, on my way home for this one.

 
UzzFark 2003-12-07 09:03:39 PM  
I am pretty much a hardcore conservative, but even I think this is stupid. FYI...notice I said conservative, not Republican...and no...I did not vote for Perry!!!

 
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