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(Yahoo) Sad Sickly pope elevates three to sainthood. St. Incontinencia, St. Bedsore and St. Deathbed report to their new post Monday   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 194
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9017 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2003 at 7:20 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»

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Eat More Possum [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 12:20:24 PM  
While he's been an excellent Pope, the honor of sainthood has certainly lost it's pizzaz during his tenure.

 
inturnaround 2003-10-05 12:24:32 PM  
Yeah, I lost interest when he elevated St. That Dead Guy Over There to sainthood.

 
Frank_Lee_Mental 2003-10-05 12:25:20 PM  
True, I can't remember anyone better at poping than him. No finer poper. If I ever need anything poped, he's my first choice.

 
udo 2003-10-05 02:08:59 PM  
If he lives much longer, I will have to start taking everybody who says "my sainted mother" literally.

 
SuperCMC 2003-10-05 03:13:26 PM  
For the record, I was raised Catholic and am now agnostic.
I have a hard time understanding how Catholics view John Paul as a good pope. He is just horrible as a Pope. Everyone is being canaanized (sp?). He is far too conservative to allow social change in the church such as allowing women priests to offset the declining numbers of men entering the priesthood. Not to mention the hypocritical stance on gay marriages considering the relatively high number of gays in the priesthood. He is loading the college of cardinals with his conservative cronies and will deny the Catholic church any social progress.

 
fishrockcarving [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 03:24:52 PM  
He is just passing some earthly favors so he can get a cush consulting job when he makes it to heaven

 
ricardomontalban 2003-10-05 04:41:14 PM  
I think his papacy was really unbalanced. He elevated so many people to sainthood, but he didn't lead any crusades.

 
punkennedys 2003-10-05 05:44:38 PM  
worst. pope. ever.

 
HipShot 2003-10-05 07:27:28 PM  
"Goosnargh," said Ford Prefect

 
BadBatsuMaru 2003-10-05 07:29:11 PM  
Damn. That guys looks like hell for 83. My grandpa's in his 90's and could kick his ass up and down.

Oh yeah... Parkinsons... Nevermind.

Well, for one thing, it certainly makes it hard for those Catholics who think there's something supernaturally special about the Pope when he turns into a bedridden incoherent mess.

 
Trapezoid 2003-10-05 07:29:13 PM  
Pope. Pope. Popeity Popeity Pope. Pope-ah Pope, Popey Popey Pope Pope Pope.
Pope. Pope. Popeity Popeity Pope. Pope-ah Pope, Popey Popey Pope Pope Pope.
Pope. Pope. Popeity Popeity Pope. Pope-ah Pope, Popey Popey Pope Pope Pope.
Pope. Pope. Popeity Popeity Pope. Pope-ah Pope, Popey Popey Pope Pope Pope.
Pope. Pope. Popeity Popeity Pope. Pope-ah Pope, Popey Popey Pope Pope Pope.

 
rickythepenguin [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:30:33 PM  
saint of circumstance?

 
HipShot 2003-10-05 07:33:04 PM  
BadBatsuMaru

Remember, he was shot 4 times as well. That really has an impact on later years.

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:33:08 PM  
I grew up catholic, too, and now I'm a Bright. This particular pope has managed to obsess over the magical part of his organization, creating massive number of imaginary entities, while having little or no impact on the real suffering of millions of people worldwide, ignoring the civil rights violations he helps perpetuate against homosexuals and women worldwide, contributing to the nonsensical education policies of the catholic church and presiding over the largest wholesale pedophilia network on the planet.

So, good, work, I guess, If you want to be remembered alongside some of the more "well-known" popes.

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:36:20 PM  
man......the horrible verbal cruelty.....it isnt as tho it is his job to please the social agenda people, its rather that his job is to act as big G's guy on the scene. There isnt actually any reason to limit the number of saints....i mean in a thousand years there will be lots of dead holy people who need to be recognised. This smacks of pull up the ladderism......like as in immigration was fine when my granpappy made the swim, but its not fine now cause i hate them mexicans.....

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:39:47 PM  
mutilato, name a major religion that is kinder than catholicism? Buhddism? nah, remember the big quake in japan? The Buhddists said it was your own bad karma that left you homeless so rot in the streets. Islam? Enough said. Hinduism? dont actually know a lot about it, but it is doing wonders for keeping a billion indians in poverty while the elites go to college and emigrate to the US.

 
1.21Gigawatts 2003-10-05 07:40:57 PM  


how about it, Pope?

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:43:06 PM  
archichris, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but you're kidding, right?

 
HipShot 2003-10-05 07:43:35 PM  
archichris

inquisition
crusades

 
HipShot 2003-10-05 07:44:21 PM  
Almost forgot:

Alchoholic pedophile club.

 
cometboy 2003-10-05 07:46:02 PM  


Wesley Willis says: Sainthood whips a penguin's ass with a belt.

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:46:09 PM  
thats the best you got? two incidences from hundreds of years ago? Dont forget that this pope defied the entire eastern bloc as a priest in poland and crusaded for the freedom of the poles. And no im not kidding, catholicism with all its faults is the most modern of the major religions and recognises the civil rights of people to the greatest extent, it is simply not their job to accept things that are outside their beliefs to make you happy.

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:46:28 PM  
Hipshot, I also think you forgot the period when the Catholic church was the largest slaveholding body on the planet and its tacit participation in the Holocaust.

 
cometboy 2003-10-05 07:47:04 PM  
archichris

what about it's platform of uninvolvement during the Holocaust?

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:47:35 PM  
No, Archichris, it continues unabated. Their policies concerning sex education, the rights of women and homosexuals and their protection of rapists earn them a big "f" in my book.

 
Raiden333 [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:47:58 PM  
http://www.theonion.com/onion3505/pope_blesses.html

 
crazytrain 2003-10-05 07:48:33 PM  
St. Unfunny smiles on the headline writer

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:49:13 PM  
yeah the holocaust was not a high point, but they recognised that being vocal about it would cause a lot of faithful italiens to take up arms before they were ready, leading to whole sale slaughter of christian italiens under mussilini. You can make an argument both ways on that one, but what it really comes down to is that the Nazis would have done it whether or not they had to eliminate the pope to do it

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:50:20 PM  
My personal feelings about the catholic church are even stronger. Part of the problem is their refusal to take responsibility for the pain and suffering that they cause, instead, allowing apologists like yourself to play fast and loose with moral culpability.

 
Harry_Carey 2003-10-05 07:50:58 PM  
"The pope's condition may be somewhat disconcerting to those of us charged with his care, but it is no doubt God's will," said papal drool-bib acolyte Thomassini Moretti, a nine-year veteran of Vatican spoon-feedings. "I have seen many mysterious things in the service of the Lamb of God, and I must trust that my wristwatch, lunch sack and right leg have become holy artifacts as part of some divine plan that I was not meant to comprehend."

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:51:10 PM  
mutilato,

are they supposed to think differently about gays, sex ed and women....though i dont really know what your beef with the women thing is, if it is just that they cant be priests, well that beats getting stoned to death in islamic law so pfft. But anyway back to my point, its a religion, not a feel good about my sensitivity collective, they have rules handed down from god and they mean to follow em.

 
Ironcross 2003-10-05 07:52:07 PM  
Everyday I thank the Lord Jesus Christ and my parents for Martin Luther. Catholicism has GOT to be the most screwed up form of Christianity. How's that? Who are you to determine whether or not I can enjoy the benefits of the Last Supper by denying me Communion? What, its not good enough that I believe in Jesus also, I have to be a part of the "Catholic club?" What's with all of these saints you people have to pray to and where in the bible does it direct you to pray to these saints? I take my problems to number One, besides he knows about them already. Isn't getting on your knees and praying/genuflecting the virgin Mary worshipping another "god?" We have women bishops in our church, where are the women bishops in yours? Priests? Why cover-up all of these homo priests? They are giving all of Christianity a black eye!

These are just a few of the small instances, we won't go into the fact that I am going to hell for putting those damn beads over my head when I was 8 yrs old. WTF did I know? I thought it was a necklace. What blows my mind is most catholics that I know are liberal democrats. And we know how open-minded and free-spirited liberal democrats are, just look at B/Hillary. And yet, catholicism has got to be the most close-minded religion to Christ ever invented. But I still think the basis of catholicism is Jesus Christ and since you all believe in him, I'll see you at the pearly gates, as we walk by the agnostics and atheists and the dirt worshippers (wiccans) moaning about not wanting to go to hell...

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:53:51 PM  
A couple of sentences ago, I just heard you justify an organization's participation in the holocaust, while holding it up as a group that professes to follow what it considers God's law, something it uses to help violate otehr people's civil rights. And you wonder what my problem is. You see the problem, don't you?

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:55:41 PM  
And, Ironcross, it's the same all over. Once again, you christians take perverse delight in your fantasies where people are tortured forever because they don't believe in your imaginary man.

 
Forger 2003-10-05 07:58:05 PM  
...I agree w/ Jesse Ventura that religion is a crutch for the weak-minded....

 
SilentObserver 2003-10-05 07:58:14 PM  
you know Ironcross, that post almost makes me want to become Lutheran.

 
HipShot 2003-10-05 07:58:31 PM  
Do you really think that the muslim community has forgotten the crusades? How about 800 YEARS of remembering. How about 800 YEARS of being told how evil christians are.

Now what is the REAL source of terrorism? Read the Al Qaieda manifesto some time. It's revealing.

The church has persecuted, tortured, and murdered millions of people of differing faiths.

The catholic belief system is a twisted version of what it is supposed to be based on. The relationship between the catholic church and christianity is really no different than the relationship between Al Qaieda and Islam.

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:58:38 PM  
sigh, i didnt justify anything about the holocaust, i said its not a high point and they did what they felt at the time was best. it isnt as if anyone was really speaking out about it, and its always tough to be the first penguin off the berg. Obviously if big G or big J were walking the earth at the time they might have dispensed some holy wrath, but the Swiss guards are not an army anymore, and given the weakeness of individuals inside the vatican its not suprising that they just let it happen. But my point still remains, its a religion, its not supposed to change to make you happy, your supposed to follow its tenants and suffer if neccessary. Its the only religion which uniformly forbids cruelty in all its manifestations. In the mortal coil anyway, im sure hell is allowed to be cruel.

 
Gnarland 2003-10-05 07:58:51 PM  
St. Incontinencia?

He has a wife you know.

St. Incontinencia Buttocks.

/Pontius Pilate

 
memebot_of_doom 2003-10-05 07:58:54 PM  
archichris

they have rules handed down from god and they mean to follow em.


These rules were not handed down from God, they were made up by men over the years, and often enforced based on people's bigotry. Such is the case with the pope's archaic anti-gay stance. (this goes for christian fundamentalists as well)

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:00:04 PM  
immaginary man....gee thats real accepting of you, intolerance is such an ugly thing.

 
robotninja 2003-10-05 08:01:25 PM  
And that's from the freakin' Pope!

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:01:51 PM  
doom boy, name a system involving people with brains that is perfect......go on , i dare you..... everything is filtered thru people and it all changes. you cant argue with big J's essential love thy neighbor scheme tho.

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:02:02 PM  
Its the only religion which uniformly forbids cruelty in all its manifestations. In the mortal coil anyway, im sure hell is allowed to be cruel.

You know you're insane, right? I mean, chicken flapping in the rain insane. I'm sorry, but you are arguing a mean game for the other side.

Is cruelty a good or a bad thing?

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:02:43 PM  
And it's not intolerant of me to call god an imaginary man. Any more than it is for you to call Zeus an imaginary man.

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:04:42 PM  
ok last comment, kids need to be snuggled to bed in a few...

but anyway, yes the cruelty thing is a conundrum, islam allows stoneing, buhddism allows cruelty by ommission, hinduism allows barbaric treatment of widows. only catholicism says love thy neighbor.....

peace, night night

 
memebot_of_doom 2003-10-05 08:04:47 PM  
The Crusades

The infantry and cavalry rushed pell-mell among the fugitives. Amid the most horrid tumult, nothing was heard but the groans and cries of death; the victors trod over heaps of corpses in pursuing those who vainly attempted to escape. Raymond d'Argiles, who was an eye-witness, says that under the portico of the mosque the blood was knee-deep and reached the horses' bridles.

Crimes of Christianity

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:05:05 PM  
[A couple of sentences ago, I just heard you justify an organization's participation in the holocaust, while holding it up as a group that professes to follow what it considers God's law, something it uses to help violate otehr people's civil rights. And you wonder what my problem is. You see the problem, don't you?]

Oh please - get over yourself. It's a religion, not a tool of the politically correct. Coming down hard on the Church for not following the current fads is not only useless, it betrays your severe lack of understanding about how the Church operates.

But then again, you're bigotry speaks volumes about your feelings.

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:05:31 PM  
archichris, they ALL say love your neighbor. Then they ALL do what they wan.

Have a good night.

 
f00tballer 2003-10-05 08:06:04 PM  
He's in my top five list of "Hardest Working Leader of All Time".

 
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