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(CNN) Ironic Hurricane Isabel (God?) forces Amish to seek mechanical help. "Our bishops are broad-minded, if they need to be"   (cnn.com) divider line 113
More: Ironic  
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113 Comments   (+0 »)


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udo 2003-10-05 02:13:32 PM  
I don't really see this as ironic. The Amish aren't stupid; if they need to use more mechanized farming methods to survive, they will. They just don't want to use it all of the time and grow dependent on it.

 
fishrockcarving [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 03:33:24 PM  
Godless heathens. They will burn in hell for this.

 
Thales 2003-10-05 04:01:04 PM  
Jebadiah said to the Shakers:
"You must listen to my call,
Before that steam drill shall beat me down,
I'll build this barn."
"This belongs to a wood cutting Amish man."

Jebadiah was hammering on the right side,
The big steam drill on the left,
Before that steam drill could beat him down,
He hammered his fool self to death.

 
rovinski47 2003-10-05 07:45:31 PM  
The Amish: Sticking by their faith, so long as it's convenient!

Obviously, God wanted them to starve to death.

 
ZeioMan 2003-10-05 07:47:51 PM  
Wow! This is like the first time this has happened, and, if I'm correct...

...And, yep, there's the wall of fire.

 
cometboy 2003-10-05 07:48:56 PM  
sure they'll use technology when they need it. but what about when we need them and they're not around?

 
1.21Gigawatts 2003-10-05 07:49:29 PM  
hey, lay off! i'm Amish, and we're not all that bad.

 
genericdefect 2003-10-05 07:50:53 PM  
"Ha! Stupid religiots."

You know, even if I happened to possess more intellectual sophistication than such people, there would be a certain inconsistency in using it like a brick.

 
Bummer 2003-10-05 07:51:29 PM  
0lorin, stop posting that crap.

 
Thegreaser 2003-10-05 07:52:17 PM  
lemme get this strait.....the amish are allowed to use telephones (there doing it in the article) but they arent allowed to use tractors? wierdos....and yes im calling them that becuase i dont understand them so get off my case

 
bmihura 2003-10-05 07:52:27 PM  
Hehe 1.21Gigawatts, your ISP is www.amish.net or the like I bet :)

 
for me to poop on 2003-10-05 07:53:51 PM  
rovinski47 says: "The Amish: Sticking by their faith, so long as it's convenient!"


as it is with ALL "faiths", bub!

I've always said, people only follow the rules they want to

 
Unfreakable [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 07:55:24 PM  
"Some of it is almost too dry now to put in silos. A lot of them probably won't get their silos filled," said Martha Zook of Gordonville, who is no relation to Elam Zook.

I find that very hard to believe. How many Amish Zooks can there possibly be that aren't related?

 
1.21Gigawatts 2003-10-05 07:55:58 PM  
for me to poop on

wow, you're so enlightened. what an insightful bit of wisdom regarding human nature. totally not snythig i've heard twenty times before. no way. truly wise, you.

 
jubjub0527 2003-10-05 07:56:13 PM  
i'm waiting for an Amish Paradise quote.

 
diakron 2003-10-05 08:01:39 PM  
Some Amish sects allow gasoline-engine tractors; they just can't have rubber tires.

It gets more complicated, believe me.

 
for me to poop on 2003-10-05 08:01:47 PM  
hey 1.21Gigawatts, you mentioned you were amish earlier - is that what's keeping you from using a spell-checker?

is that "snythig" you've heard twenty times before?

 
deevo 2003-10-05 08:03:12 PM  
Now that's what I call the Pennsylvania Douche.

 
Sannyasin 2003-10-05 08:09:33 PM  
For those who care:
Shunning modern conveniences of industrial society is NOT a religious doctrine of the Amish community, it is merely a communally enforced code of social norms called the Ordnung. There is a clear distinction between what is permitted by God (spelled out in the Bible) and what is permitted by the community (spelled out in the Ordnung; like not using power tools).

The Amish don't regard people that drive cars as commiting a sin, not driving cars is merely a community rule imposed to foster a closeness amongst members (if nothing else, geographically) and keep out influences of the outside world. If some sort of tragedy threatens the community's survival then obviously the Ordnung (rules meant to promote the community's development) will be temporarily altered. Any informed person would realize there is no hypocrisy in this. Anyone who criticize the Amish should first take a good look at their own lives and communities and reconsider whether or not the focus is on the proper things in life.

 
unfletch 2003-10-05 08:16:17 PM  
the amish have always been cheaters. a friend's grandparents are surrounded by amish, and they have a shack on their land that has a community phone and freezer in it all the amish use. so long as it's not on their property, it's "ok."

 
enigmatic2 2003-10-05 08:17:26 PM  
I wonder if they get vaccines?

 
captain applesauce 2003-10-05 08:18:53 PM  
Wonder if the amish play soccer..

 
eekmale 2003-10-05 08:19:17 PM  
1.21Gigawatts and Sannyasin, stop being logical and reasonable this instant! You're taking all the ignorance out this fun. Sheesh!

 
Queen Mushroom 2003-10-05 08:21:43 PM  
Man, Elam Zook? What great names the Amish have. Almost puts the Mormons to shame.

 
Sannyasin 2003-10-05 08:22:44 PM  
Well in Gigawatts defense he's claiming to be Amish typing on the internet (clearly in jest). Therefore, I don't think he's a traitor to the cause of silliness (as I unabashedly am).

 
Unknown_Poltroon [recently expired TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:23:13 PM  
I have no problem with this. Ive never head the amish giving people shiat about using modern tech, they simply choose not to do so if they can avoid it. If they want to use a horse and buggy and oil lamps and have no problem with my internet and toyota corolla, more power to them.

 
HexRei 2003-10-05 08:25:23 PM  
It's only Ironic(tm) if you mistakenly think that the Amish feel they are too good for technology or something.
In reality, there's no irony here, just pragmatism.

 
mutilato [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:29:15 PM  
I'm with unknown, I've never heard an Amish person put down modern conveniences. If they choose to not use them only in cases of emergency, I say good for them for staving off an emergency and for recognizing the value of community in the first place.

 
Fark Me To Tears [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:30:04 PM  
So the Zooks aren't related to each other?

Is the name "Zook" like the names "Smith" or "Jones"?

Any Amish Farkers want to answer that one?

What?

Oh--

Sorry ... Never mind.

 
Fark Me To Tears [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:34:27 PM  
Setinotathome:

You should be ashamed of yourself. The amount of technology involved in that little trick is just shameful!

I'm going to tell the bishop!

 
Thales 2003-10-05 08:36:24 PM  
Setinotathome are you saying that the Pennsylvania Dutch aren't of German decent? If so you should realize that Deutsche is German for German.

 
SpinStopper [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:36:28 PM  
From the fine folks at Mirriam-Webster -

Main Entry: pragmatism
Pronunciation: 'prag-m&-"ti-z&m
Function: noun
Date: circa 1864
1 : a practical approach to problems and affairs
2 : an American movement in philosophy founded by C. S. Peirce and William James and marked by the doctrines that the meaning of conceptions is to be sought in their practical bearings, that the function of thought is to guide action, and that truth is preeminently to be tested by the practical consequences of belief

 
Anti_Freak_Machine [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 08:37:40 PM  
Setinotathome

I wonder if amish peole get that tattooed across their backs.

 
doombot 2003-10-05 08:45:44 PM  
The Amish aren't as anti technology as most people believe. They'll 'shun' technology they believe will interfere with their lifestyle in a negative way. A television is believed to be a form of distraction and therefore not welcomed. A high strength nylon rope would be ok. There are different sects and varieties and you'll see variations but that's a basic outline. In short if a piece of technolgy is practical and non intrusive many times they'll use it.

http://people.howstuffworks.com/amish.htm

 
Ironpoint 2003-10-05 08:46:55 PM  
Any cult society should realize that the whole setup is designed to both facilitate and hide the wicked things the people at the top do. For instance, drug rings, prostitution, pedophilia, embezzlement. Why else does a "top" exist other than to do the things that the rest of the pyramid can't. Really its the crux of a cult. Try to find out what your personal cult leaders are up to and how much $$$ is involved.

 
doombot 2003-10-05 08:47:23 PM  

Amish Paradise
by Al Yankovic






Lyrics:



As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain

I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain

But that's just perfect for an Amish like me

You know, I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows

Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool


And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline

Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin

But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine

Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699



We been spending most our lives

Living in an Amish paradise


I've churned butter once or twice

Living in an Amish paradise

It's hard work and sacrifice

Living in an Amish paradise

We sell quilts at discount price

Living in an Amish paradise



A local boy kicked me in the butt last week

I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek


I really don't care, in fact I wish him well

'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it

An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of

I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat

And my homies all I agree I look good in black... fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears

We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years

But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare


We're just technologically impaired



There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar

Not a single luxury

Like Robinson Caruso

It's as primitave as can be



We been spending most our lives

Living in an Amish paradise

We're just plain and simple guys


Living in an Amish paradise

There's no time for sin and vice

Living in an Amish paradise

We don't fight, we all play nice

Living in an Amish paradise



Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter

Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another

Think you're really rightous? Think you're pure in heart?


Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like

On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife

So don't be vain and don't be whiny

Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie



We been spending most our lives

Living in an Amish paradise

We're all crazy Mennonites


Living in an Amish paradise

There's no cops or traffic lights

Living in an Amish paradise

But you'd probably think it bites

Living in an Amish paradise



Yuck








Amish Paradise is the first (1st) song on the "Bad Hair Day"
album and the first (1st) song on the Amish
Paradise Maxi CD. It is a parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio
with new lyrics by "Weird Al" Yankovic.



A live performance of Amish Paradise is located on

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Live! (DVD) and on


"Weird Al" Yankovic - Live! (VHS).



The music video of Amish Paradise is located on

"Weird Al" Yankovic - The Videos (DVD) and on

Bad Hair Day: The Videos (VHS).



 
doombot 2003-10-05 08:48:18 PM  
Sorry for the poor formatting.

 
Thales 2003-10-05 08:49:09 PM  
Setinotathome it's just our fine American tradition of incorporating a foreign word into our vocabulary then butchering the hell out of it. Deutche does sound very similar to Dutch though.

 
8floz 2003-10-05 08:51:24 PM  
"party like it's 1699"..hehe

 
crzyjayw 2003-10-05 08:55:34 PM  
I just have two things to say:

1. Pennsylvania Dutch is based on German and has no similarities to the language spoken in Holland. We call it dutch based on the german pronunciation of "Deutsch." But, if you try to communicate in Germany using PA Dutch, they won't know what the fark you are saying.

2. Many Amish live in Intercourse, Pa, which is in Lancaster County. Now thats screwed up.

 
Magic 2003-10-05 08:57:55 PM  
"Our bishops are broad-minded, if the need arises. We do need to feed our families," said Zook

Damn. I wish my parents named me Zook.

 
elendilmir 2003-10-05 08:58:51 PM  
For more fun with the Amish and moral, er, flexibility, see INCOME TAX. They sell tax free carpentry [gazibos and whatnot] tax free. They do good work, but it pisses me off that they get a significant price advantage over their competitors based on religion.

 
Fark Me To Tears [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 09:04:17 PM  
"Yes, it's true ... There is modern farming equipment in this barn, and these people are witnesses ..."


 
DonaldDarko 2003-10-05 09:07:53 PM  
ironic [ rnnik ] or ironical [ rnnikl ]

adjective

involving irony: relating to, characterized by, using, or containing irony




ironically adverb
ironicalness noun

 
TheLoneIguana 2003-10-05 09:16:46 PM  
"..But we'll surrender and go Amish... NOT!"

/Wayne and Garth

 
hwah 2003-10-05 09:18:12 PM  
the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning

THAT IS THE DEFINITION IRONY USE IT RIGHT GOD DAMN IT HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING A POWERFUL WINDSTORM CAUSEING PEOPLE TO GET HELP IS NOT IRONIC MY GOD IS IT REALLY THAT HARD?

 
Scrawny Pale Guy 2003-10-05 09:18:39 PM  
SELLOUTS!

 
Anne.Uumellmahaye 2003-10-05 09:26:33 PM  

I know a Zook. I always thought it sounded like a verb I'd like to try out someday.

Yeah, Joe and I zooked for hours last night, it was fantastic...


 
mall_goths_unite 2003-10-05 09:37:03 PM  
Just down the road, in Paradise..
It's hard work and sacrifice.

 
Raiden333 [TotalFark] 2003-10-05 09:40:59 PM  
And they sell quilts at discount price, I hear.

 
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