Children should learn how to masturbate early, or else they will never start doing it at all.

Advance sketch of the new viagra. You know, for kids:

I can already see this generating many fark headlines to come.

I'll take my kid camping and give it to him so I don't have to pitch the tent.

"Viagra, which modifies blood flows, could reduce unusually high blood pressure in a child's lungs, or pulmonary arterial hypertension. Symptoms include dizziness, chest pain and fatigue."

"Doctors already had been using Viagra's principal ingredient in lower doses to treat children with the lung ailment, under a different name, Revatio. The principal drug for both Viagra and the softer sounding Revatio is the same, Sildenafil."

Also, amusing jokes about little kids taking boner pills.

Finally, my investment in Real Doll Jr. may pay off. They called me a prevert years ago when I said there would be a market for sex toys for nine year olds, but who's the prevert now? Huh, Federal Bastards of Investigation, huh?

jaylectricity: I'll take my kid camping and give it to him so I don't have to pitch the tent.

MY PANTS ARE HAUNTED! MY PANTS ARE HAUNTED!

Nothing new here. This is regular practice for the FDA. See: FDA Pediatric Rule.

Doctors already had been using Viagra's principal ingredient in lower doses to treat children with the lung ailment, under a different name, Revatio. The principal drug for both Viagra and the softer sounding Revatio is the same, Sildenafil.

So... they want to trade a 6 month patent extension, for a version of the pill that we already have and are using.

And people say corporations have bought our government. LOL, silly.

FTFA: Kiddie Viagra may get Pfizer a patent extension.

Did anybody not read that as "Penis extension" the first few times?

jevman: Doctors already had been using Viagra's principal ingredient in lower doses to treat children with the lung ailment, under a different name, Revatio. The principal drug for both Viagra and the softer sounding Revatio is the same, Sildenafil.

So... they want to trade a 6 month patent extension, for a version of the pill that we already have and are using.

And people say corporations have bought our government. LOL, silly.

Oh... and it's not like once it's a generic, another company could create a lower dose version. I guess only phizer has the awesome technology to put less drug in a pill?

So aggrivating.
/No, not on Viagra
//Am old
///Get your patents off my lawn

/i'll be in my crib

cryinoutloud 2010-07-28 11:24:51 PM
Children should learn how to masturbate early, or else they will never start doing it at all.

I was about 22 when I first masturbated; to a Madonna song.

Spiffy? More like Stiffy. Amirite?

I'm still waiting for my Flintstones Chewable Morphine...

demanton: Advance sketch of the new viagra. You know, for kids:

Well done.

Suddenly, "I wanna show you a little something I've been working on" takes on a whole new meaning.


/"AND THEY DOCK YA!"

FTA: Viagra, which modifies blood flows, could reduce unusually high blood pressure in a child's lungs, or pulmonary arterial hypertension. Symptoms include dizziness, chest pain and fatigue.

According to the Wiki, Viagra was originally developed to treat hypertension; Pfizer only decided to market it as the "easy hard-on pill" after doctors discovered that little side effect in clinical trials.

Different strokes for little folks.

What if you tire before it's done?

Who'd have guessed that Viagra had a deep throat application?

HelenKellersFingers: cryinoutloud 2010-07-28 11:24:51 PM
Children should learn how to masturbate early, or else they will never start doing it at all.

I was about 22 when I first masturbated; to a Madonna song.

That's pretty late in the game. 22? Seriously?

What happens if a woman takes Viagra?

...oh yeah, drugs. You gotta have drugs...

The FDA began asking Pfizer in 2001 to develop ways to use Viagra to treat children suffering from the lung ailment, but the pool of just 600 patients offered limited revenue opportunities.


So Pfizer has the ability to help these 600 children/year (5400 since 2001), but has chosen not too because it's not profitable. I guess that answers the question "What price can you put on a child's life?" Answer: 25 cents a share.

/I got yer Death Panel right here.

Spiffy? They aren't doing this for kids, they are doing this to keep the patent for themselves.

I wonder what sort of spam filters people at Pfizer use for their emails.... if they have a spam filter that blocks any email with "Viagra" in it, wouldn't that make their job difficult?

HailRobonia: Spiffy? They aren't doing this for kids, they are doing this to keep the patent for themselves.

I wonder what sort of spam filters people at Pfizer use for their emails.... if they have a spam filter that blocks any email with "Viagra" in it, wouldn't that make their job difficult?

Worked for Pffizer reallly getting a kick... spam filters are really a bit more intelligent than that but still some get through.

It usually means someone calls the help desk laughing hysterically

I take GinkoViagra. It helps me remember what the fu*k I'm doing.

VulpesVulpes: The FDA began asking Pfizer in 2001 to develop ways to use Viagra to treat children suffering from the lung ailment, but the pool of just 600 patients offered limited revenue opportunities.


So Pfizer has the ability to help these 600 children/year (5400 since 2001), but has chosen not too because it's not profitable. I guess that answers the question "What price can you put on a child's life?" Answer: 25 cents a share.

/I got yer Death Panel right here.

Agreed. Pfizer should do it because it's right to do it, not because they can strong-arm a patent extension out of it. No one else would be applauded for holding childrens' health hostage for a chance to make a little extra money.

Girl Least Likely: What happens if a woman takes Viagra?

Picture the queen from Aliens, in the brooding room...

RyogaM: Agreed. Pfizer should do it because it's right to do it, not because they can strong-arm a patent extension out of it. No one else would be applauded for holding childrens' health hostage for a chance to make a little extra money.

I don't think you understand how corporations with a fiduciary duty to their shareholders work.

Theaetetus: RyogaM: Agreed. Pfizer should do it because it's right to do it, not because they can strong-arm a patent extension out of it. No one else would be applauded for holding childrens' health hostage for a chance to make a little extra money.

I don't think you understand how corporations with a fiduciary duty to their shareholders work.

I don't think you understand how a social conscience works

and it keeps the child from rolling out of bed...

VulpesVulpes: /I got yer Death Panel right here.

Yeah, but corporate death panels are fine, because money.
Government death panels are bad, because SOCIALISM!!!!

metallion: and it keeps the child from rolling out of bed...

Bravo!

HelenKellersFingers: cryinoutloud 2010-07-28 11:24:51 PM
Children should learn how to masturbate early, or else they will never start doing it at all.

I was about 22 when I first masturbated; to a Madonna song.

Wow I think I was about 10 and when I would reach orgasm I didn't ejaculate, but the sensation was incredible if I was standing it would drop me to my knees. I was fortunate enough to have been friends with a 12 year old girl at this time and we would perform oral sex on each other as often as we could. At 12 I started ejaculating and the orgasm was not as intense but still very enjoyable. Sadly when I was 15 her family moved out of state and we lost touch a few years later. I never had intercourse with her incase anyone was wondering.

VulpesVulpes: I don't think you understand how a social conscience works

Corporations have social consciences?

Oznog: /i'll be in my crib

+1

VulpesVulpes: I don't think you understand how a social conscience works

Corporations certainly don't, considering they are a legal entity created for financial purposes and not an actual living creature. Complain about how horrible the system if you like, and what terrible atrocities corporations commit in the name of the bottom line; fact is, nothing you could ever do is going to change the situation.

/ The key is to work with the system already in place... if you want to do good, find a way to make it profitable as well.

And you kids thought the ailment made it hard to breathe...

/would you like some veal?

No Hudsucker Proxy yet...? C'mon Fark!

Theaetetus: RyogaM: Agreed. Pfizer should do it because it's right to do it, not because they can strong-arm a patent extension out of it. No one else would be applauded for holding childrens' health hostage for a chance to make a little extra money.

I don't think you understand how corporations with a fiduciary duty to their shareholders work.

I don't think you understand how a social conscience works

Do you think Edison was worried about social conscience? Or Henry Ford? Or Steve Jobs? fark no, they wanted to get rich

You know who was worried about Social Conscience?

mistervague: No Hudsucker Proxy yet...? C'mon Fark!

I can see how you missed such vague references.

Yeah, just what a teenager needs. As many awkward erections at wildly inappropriate times, only now they'll be even harder to conceal in embarrassment as Ms. Jones asks you to come to the front of the class and write out your solution to the math problem on the blackboard...

Profedius: Wow I think I was about 10 and when I would reach orgasm I didn't ejaculate, but the sensation was incredible if I was standing it would drop me to my knees. I was fortunate enough to have been friends with a 12 year old girl at this time and we would perform oral sex on each other as often as we could. At 12 I started ejaculating and the orgasm was not as intense but still very enjoyable. Sadly when I was 15 her family moved out of state and we lost touch a few years later. I never had intercourse with her incase anyone was wondering.

Uncomfortable story, bro.

Profedius: HelenKellersFingers: cryinoutloud 2010-07-28 11:24:51 PM
Children should learn how to masturbate early, or else they will never start doing it at all.

I was about 22 when I first masturbated; to a Madonna song.

Wow I think I was about 10 and when I would reach orgasm I didn't ejaculate, but the sensation was incredible if I was standing it would drop me to my knees. I was fortunate enough to have been friends with a 12 year old girl at this time and we would perform oral sex on each other as often as we could. At 12 I started ejaculating and the orgasm was not as intense but still very enjoyable. Sadly when I was 15 her family moved out of state and we lost touch a few years later. I never had intercourse with her incase anyone was wondering.

That's nice, dear.