This is the Blade to Palin's Twilight.

When in Florida, vampires shop at The Gloom Room. It's an orgy of the macabre...located right next to the Pizza Hut on Hibiscus Road.

I think he reflects the every man on the street...

what a tool

well, as long as he promises not to try to cram government healthcare down our throats...

He won't be popular with the Christian right, though. It's tough to win when you refuse to wear a cross.

Sybarite: When in Florida, vampires shop at The Gloom Room. It's an orgy of the macabre...located right next to the Pizza Hut on Hibiscus Road.

Shakes fist...



/Remember when SNL was AWESOME?! I do. It was Jim Breuer dropping elbows on Jeff Goldblum.

Will somebody please just punch these people in the face?

Well at least he's honest with his perversions.
The GOP must find it unsettling that he has an interest in underage girls though.

Florida vampire attention whore's cunning plan works blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Would be a refreshing change from the bloodsuckers already in Washington.

fify subby.

"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station. "It's good to be me."

I would vote for him from this statement alone. Sure, the preying on younger girls is disturbing, but at least he isn't surprising anyone with affairs with male staff.

Senators and movie guys,
TV anchormen and spies,
Won't be superior for very long,
Because he's got Dracula's ring on.

Vangor: "I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station. "It's good to be me."

I would vote for him from this statement alone. Sure, the preying on younger girls is disturbing, but at least he isn't surprising anyone with affairs with male staff.

He lives forever, and 19-year-olds stay the same age.

Definitely not impressed.

and for my next trick...

If you're running for public office, do you really want to claim that your ancestors murdered 80,000 people & placed many of them on pikes?

/well, it is Florida. Tell the voters that the 80,000 impaled/beheaded/disemboweled victims were black & you're in.

Isn't this a repeat from Minnesota?

Isn't that the same guy that was laughed at all through his campaign for Minnesota governor?

schattenteufel: /well, it is Florida. Tell the voters that the 80,000 impaled/beheaded/disemboweled victims were black & you're in.

Well, they WERE mostly Turks...

Stay classy, .

On the other hand, he is already known to the secret service...

Bloodsuckers? I suppose this guy has Al Sharpton's endorsement.

I'm still waiting for Richard Nixon's head on a RoboTech body to run

There's a documentary about this guy which is available for streaming on Netflix. It's called "Impaler" IIRC. I watched it on the advice of another Farker and found it really interesting. Basically it seems like the guy has some mental problems. It's kind of sad really.

Don't look at me. I voted for Kodos.

He is a good match for Florida they will do well together.

So if I were to say... shoot him in the face at close range... he would survive right? So that isn't assault with a deadly, or even with intent to cause harm right... cause he's immortal? How about it Jon? Can we do that?

Fark that, I'd vote for a retard before I'd vote for a tool. How many inspiring movies are written about tools?

In other words, Palin 2012!

Under his healthcare plan we'll all live till 600

I call bullshiat. He doesn't sparkle in sunlight, so he can't be a REAL vampire.


/I bet he loves garlic pizza
//like a bad episode, of like, Scooby-Doo, man

"He does believe in Republican values",

Well, Duh.

Don't blame me, I voted for Rainbow Brite.

tuffsnake: I'm still waiting for Richard Nixon's head on a RoboTech body to run

DaddyRat: Definitely not impressed.



No crap.


Can't wait for the new season to start.

Stories like these is why I don't live in Florida.

Please God, let Fark become 4chan tonight.

/see, miracles happen!

Sure, you'd lose daytime productivity but think of the health care benefits!

well if he makes it he won't be the first politician to be a blood sucker...

/red label tastes like gasoline...

President? Not ever in your immortal lifetime, pal.

He turned out to be Norman Mailer.

Is he wearing a NY logo on his cap?

There is nothing New York about the creep.

And she is lovely also.

How is this considered news?

mongrel222: He turned out to be Norman Mailer.

// applaud the obscure GWAR reference

I like how in the video he bites his fiancées neck and doesn't break the skin.

worst. vampire. ever.

What's creepier than this guy thinking he's a vampire is that his 19 year old girlfriend (ugh!) actually lets him "bite" her.

His "bite" looks more like a hickey though.

Does he have a real birth certificate?

Fark the tag. Fark needs an AMERICA tag. What a strange, strange country you have.

Phil Herup: What real vampires look like.

"Facepalm" Doesn't quite cover how I feel about that statement.