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(Wikipedia) Hero Chuck Norris would be 70 today if time wasn't afraid of him   (en.wikipedia.org) divider line 345
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23534 clicks; posted to Showbiz » on 10 Mar 2010 at 3:06 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share via Emailshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!


345 Comments   (+0 »)
   


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Ender's [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:00:21 AM  
When Chuck Norris jumps into a river he doesn't get wet. The water gets Norris.

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:02:23 AM  
He looks great for a crazy man. His equally crazy wife must be amazing in the sack.

 
kmmontandon [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:07:06 AM  
NewportBarGuy: He looks great for a crazy man. His equally crazy wife must be amazing in the sack.

She's still really, really hot.

And Chuck doesn't look a day past ... well, let's say 58.

 
Cyberluddite [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:14:54 AM  
Chuck Norris is a half-senile old right-wing farktard. He can go fark himself.

 
King Something 2010-03-10 02:16:59 AM  
kmmontandon: NewportBarGuy: He looks great for a crazy man. His equally crazy wife must be amazing in the sack.

She's still really, really hot.

And Chuck doesn't look a day past ... well, let's say 58.


I met Chuck Norris when I was in the Iraq and such as. Not a particularly imposing body size - a slim 5'10", maybe 175lbs. If you didn't know who he was, you'd think you could overpower him in a fistfight. You'd wake up regain consciousness several hours later and realize you were wrong.

/cool story, bro
//I'd pin his age closer to 48, if I didn't know he's 70

 
kmmontandon [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:18:21 AM  
Cyberluddite: Chuck Norris is a half-senile old right-wing farktard. He can go fark himself.


When Chuck Norris goes and farks himself, he satisfies every woman on the block.

 
King Something 2010-03-10 02:21:26 AM  
///I'd have a little more respect for him if he didn't make it public knowledge that he's a creationist
////probably a young earth creationist, but I don't care enough to check
///he visited our base in 2006, well before he (publicly) became a bible-thumper
//that was what made the Chuck Norris "Facts" jump the shark
/Chuck Norris doesn't wait, he sleeps.

 
Ender's [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:45:34 AM  
King Something: I met Chuck Norris when I was in the Iraq and such as. Not a particularly imposing body size - a slim 5'10", maybe 175lbs. If you didn't know who he was, you'd think you could overpower him in a fistfight. You'd wake up regain consciousness several hours later and realize you were wrong.

/cool story, bro
//I'd pin his age closer to 48, if I didn't know he's 70


The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

 
ProfessorTomoe [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:47:04 AM  
tomoe.lbjackson.com

My Honda Ridgeline approves.

 
Ender's [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:51:26 AM  
King Something: ///I'd have a little more respect for him if he didn't make it public knowledge that he's a creationist

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

 
log_jammin [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:55:06 AM  
That meme jumped the shark even before he started spewing shiat at WND.

 
Petit_Merdeux [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 02:56:23 AM  
Chuck Norris would be cool if he wasn't such an asshole.

 
State_College_Arsonist 2010-03-10 03:08:00 AM  
He looks pretty damn good for seventy. Hell, I thought he was still south of sixty.

 
The_Sponge [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:08:42 AM  
kmmontandon: Cyberluddite: Chuck Norris is a half-senile old right-wing farktard. He can go fark himself.


When Chuck Norris goes and farks himself, he satisfies every woman on the block.



Chuck Norris can make a woman come just by pointing at her and saying "BOOYAH!"

 
The_Sponge [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:09:39 AM  
Ender's: The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.


One of my all-time favorites.

 
whereisian 2010-03-10 03:09:45 AM  
I feel toward Chuck Norris as I do Orson Scott Card.

 
ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:11:00 AM  
Cyberluddite: Chuck Norris is a half-senile old right-wing farktard. He can go fark himself.

Well, my work has been done for me here. Carry on.

 
ultraholland [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:12:18 AM  
F*ck Chuck

 
SuperCatBarf [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:12:24 AM  
Chuck would be a big sissy if it weren't for Jesus.

 
The All-Powerful Atheismo 2010-03-10 03:12:26 AM  
log_jammin: That meme jumped the shark even before he started spewing shiat at WND.

Save it for the Mega Shark v. Giant Octopus thread, buddy

 
Ender's [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:14:53 AM  
Chuck Norris doesn't jump the shark. The shark jumps him and then gets its ass kicked.

 
ekdikeo4 2010-03-10 03:16:39 AM  
I have two Norris t-shirts.. "Today's forecast brought to you by Chuck Norris: 90% chance of PAIN" and "Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits."

I always win when I play poker in those shirts. i need to get my gf to do laundry more.

 
plastic_peso 2010-03-10 03:16:45 AM  
Chuck Norris accidently the whole thing.

 
waterfowl 2010-03-10 03:18:26 AM  
Cyberluddite: Chuck Norris is a half-senile old right-wing farktard. He can go fark himself.

Came here to say this. Chuck Norris is a lunatic. Starring in crappy movies and having an annoying meme based on you on the internets do not a hero make. Maybe the dumbass tag was busy elsewhere?

 
0Icky0 2010-03-10 03:18:45 AM  
Chuck Norris doesn't have another fist under his beard.
He has Bruce Lee's footprint.

 
DerekSD 2010-03-10 03:19:35 AM  
chuck norris can touch m.c. hammer.

 
jingks 2010-03-10 03:20:26 AM  
plastic_peso: Chuck Norris accidently the whole thing.

Chuck Norris purposefully the whole thing.

 
LewDux 2010-03-10 03:21:00 AM  
DerekSD: chuck norris can touch m.c. hammer.


chuck noris can listen to vanilla ice

 
Ender's [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:21:12 AM  
ekdikeo4: I always win when I play poker in those shirts.

Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even more unbeatable poker beard.

 
LewDux 2010-03-10 03:22:50 AM  
When Chuck Norris listens to Radiohead, Thom Yourke falls asleep

 
DerekSD 2010-03-10 03:23:07 AM  
waterfowl: Cyberluddite: Chuck Norris is a half-senile old right-wing farktard. He can go fark himself.

Came here to say this. Chuck Norris is a lunatic. Starring in crappy movies and having an annoying meme based on you on the internets do not a hero make. Maybe the dumbass tag was busy elsewhere?


have you never seen 'lone wolf mcquade?'

he killed david carradine, drank coors out of a trash can, stared down a wheelchair-bound psychopathic midget arms dealer and suffered chakote as his sidekick.

all that and he drove a dodge.
a dodge!

 
milkyshirt 2010-03-10 03:26:39 AM  
soawesomeithurts.com

 
Seacop 2010-03-10 03:27:25 AM  
roflindian.files.wordpress.com

 
lionfish 2010-03-10 03:27:39 AM  
who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris, and BATMAN?

/What NOW fark?

 
DerekSD 2010-03-10 03:27:40 AM  
LewDux: DerekSD: chuck norris can touch m.c. hammer.


chuck noris can listen to vanilla ice


chuck norris had his way with your mom.

/got less than nuthin.

 
Seacop 2010-03-10 03:29:32 AM  
vtipy.netroof.eu

 
Mirrorz 2010-03-10 03:29:33 AM  
I was an extra in Sidekicks. I saw Chuck Norris kick the shiat out of Joe Piscopo so hard it ended his career.

true story broseph.

 
Dicky B 2010-03-10 03:29:48 AM  
DerekSD: he killed david carradine

Knowing how David Carradine died in RL, that just sounds nasty.

 
Yosha 2010-03-10 03:30:17 AM  
Yeahhh its my birthday too!

 
The_Sponge [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:30:58 AM  
waterfowl: Came here to say this. Chuck Norris is a lunatic. Starring in crappy movies and having an annoying meme based on you on the internets do not a hero make. Maybe the dumbass tag was busy elsewhere?


You know what else is silly? People who treated Obama like a hero before he was elected.

 
Ender's [TotalFark] 2010-03-10 03:31:29 AM  
lionfish: who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris, and BATMAN?

/What NOW fark?


Answer: Mr Rogers

 
macaeryk 2010-03-10 03:32:01 AM  
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

 
DerekSD 2010-03-10 03:34:11 AM  
Dicky B: DerekSD: he killed david carradine

Knowing how David Carradine died in RL, that just sounds nasty.


i don't enough about time travel to make a chuck norris joke here.
fortunately for me, neither does chuck norris.

 
GungFu 2010-03-10 03:35:43 AM  
arkjournal.com

 
VvonderJesus 2010-03-10 03:36:25 AM  
70? Damn, I hope I still look that good when I'm 50.

 
Vern 2010-03-10 03:36:48 AM  
Chuck Norris is a pretty cool guy, eh kicks ass and doesn't afraid of anything.

 
LewDux 2010-03-10 03:37:29 AM  
The_Sponge: waterfowl: Came here to say this. Chuck Norris is a lunatic. Starring in crappy movies and having an annoying meme based on you on the internets do not a hero make. Maybe the dumbass tag was busy elsewhere?


You know what else is silly? People who treated Obama like a hero before he was elected.


When Chuck Norris kneejerks, he.. uhhYosha: Yeahhh its my birthday too!

Citation needed

 
jesusrock7 2010-03-10 03:38:15 AM  
Chuck Norris wouldn't burn to death on Crematoria; he'd get a suntan.

/sorry, just watched Riddick last nite.

 
Death Whisper 2010-03-10 03:39:10 AM  
Cyberluddite: Chuck Norris is a half-senile old right-wing farktard. He can go fark himself.

Not the brightest crayon in the box, now are we?

 
Barbecue Bob 2010-03-10 03:39:41 AM  
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse.
Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

 
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