You can almost hear the "shiatshiatshiatshishiat"

Why didnt he go out the way he came in?

Dancin_In_Anson: You can almost hear the "shiatshiatshiatshishiat"

Heh, that's definitely the vibe that I got from the footage. This video needs a Yackety Sax clip--particularly when he starts running around FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

Why was he trying to get out Einstein? I thought he was dead.

PainInTheASP: Yackety Sax

Came to say pretty much this. Thank you, PITA.

Danielsan: Why was he trying to get out Einstein? I thought he was dead.

Get him out of the ground?

The video clearly shows him walking up to a fire exit, looking at it for a few seconds, then walking away.... You can't be locked IN a grocery store. There are fire exits...

Subby calls his that, too?

BOB SAGET

Honest Bender: The video clearly shows him walking up to a fire exit, looking at it for a few seconds, then walking away.... You can't be locked IN a grocery store. There are fire exits...

Exactly. He wasn't willing to set off the fire alarm but he was willing to bust out a large window in the front?

Interesting plan.

jmr61: Honest Bender: The video clearly shows him walking up to a fire exit, looking at it for a few seconds, then walking away.... You can't be locked IN a grocery store. There are fire exits...

Exactly. He wasn't willing to set off the fire alarm but he was willing to bust out a large window in the front?

Interesting plan.


Well he probably assumed that by opening the fire exit it would send a signal to the fire department and would lead to an investigation before he could flee the scene...

/or am I just giving him too much credit?

RoxtarRyan: BOB SAGET

Came for this, leaving satisfied.

Obvious (new window)

Obligatory. This stupid thief cracks me up every time I watch this. Turn your volume down, the video has some kind of weird scratching sound.

It almost looks like they edited the video to show him running back and forth (like Benny Hill) for the laughs.

Dancin_In_Anson

You can almost hear the "shiatshiatshiatshishiat"

Good one!!

BalugaJoe: Why didnt he go out the way he came in?

According to TFA, "He apparently got in through the roof".

I guess Market Basket doesn't sell ladders...

lazyguy: jmr61: Honest Bender: The video clearly shows him walking up to a fire exit, looking at it for a few seconds, then walking away.... You can't be locked IN a grocery store. There are fire exits...

Exactly. He wasn't willing to set off the fire alarm but he was willing to bust out a large window in the front?

Interesting plan.


Well he probably assumed that by opening the fire exit it would send a signal to the fire department and would lead to an investigation before he could flee the scene...

/or am I just giving him too much credit?

Or maybe it was the padlock on the fire exit.

Thenixon: Or maybe it was the padlock on the fire exit.

You mean the one in plain view that he touches with his hand? Nah.

Holy shiat, this is ten minutes from where I live. Fark has come to my town, finally, sort of. I actually used to work at this store when I was a teenager.

cool story has ended

Honest Bender: The video clearly shows him walking up to a fire exit, looking at it for a few seconds, then walking away.... You can't be locked IN a grocery store. There are fire exits...

jmr61:Exactly. He wasn't willing to set off the fire alarm but he was willing to bust out a large window in the front?

Interesting plan.

But... there's no fire. You're not supposed to use the fire exit unless there's a fire.

Shouldn't there be a couple of well marked Emergency Exit doors??

He should have made a list--cuts down on that impulse robbing.

And you know the front entrances on all of those doors, with a flip of a switch and a turn of two knobs he would of been out the door with no broken window.

Heck if he had half a brain and a string, he could of gotten out the front entrance with out breaking a window, and gotten the lock back in place after getting out and no one would of ever known he was actually in the building.

Came for "We've got to get out of this place," leaving satisfied.

You KNOW this moron has a Fark ID.

So...did he actually steal anything?

Dumas didn't even wear a mask.

He's like a very dumb rat in a maze.

He's still stuck in Beaumont.

Stupid ass robber Benny Hillified (pops).

I LOL'd.

Lligeret: And you know the front entrances on all of those doors, with a flip of a switch and a turn of two knobs he would of been out the door with no broken window.

Heck if he had half a brain and a string, he could of gotten out the front entrance with out breaking a window, and gotten the lock back in place after getting out and no one would of ever known he was actually in the building.


The locks on most store doors needs a key to open or lock it from both sides.

I hope he got his damn twinkie. Poor soul.

1.- You get a car that'll hold in a crash
2.- Crash the car in the man entrance
3.- Loot
4.- Get away with the car
5.- Profit!

/Although you could have some trouble

CygnusDarius: 1.- You get a car that'll hold in a crash
2.- Crash the car in the man entrance
3.- Loot
4.- Get away with the car
5.- Profit!

/Although you could have some trouble

mileage may vary ...

/obligatory

CygnusDarius: 1.- You get a car that'll hold in a crash
2.- Crash the car in the man entrance
3.- Loot
4.- Get away with the car
5.- Profit!

/Although you could have some trouble

You could drive a Toyota and use that as an excuse if you got caught.

CygnusDarius: 1.- You get a car that'll hold in a crash
2.- Crash the car in the man entrance
3.- Loot
4.- Get away with the car
5.- Profit!

/Although you could have some trouble

Trouble? Yeah that would be a biatch if the car crapped out once you busted into the building. Awkwaaaard.

Honest Bender: The video clearly shows him walking up to a fire exit, looking at it for a few seconds, then walking away.... You can't be locked IN a grocery store. There are fire exits...

This. Though, it might have been one of those "Hold for 15 seconds, alarm will sound" deals.

Danielsan: Why was he trying to get out Einstein? I thought he was dead.

Came here to say this.

Commas. Use them.

/pedant

Years ago, I went to an HMV on a Sunday to look at some new CDs. I opened the door, walked in, and walked around a bit. It was rather dark, but I had just been outside, so didn't think too much about it. Looked around, didn't see anyone. Called, didn't hear anyone. Walked back to the door, and saw that the store was closed on Sundays. Called the cops, and waited for them to show up. Didn't even get a free CD out of it, even though I could have had a store full of free CDs.

/University and Phillip, Waterloo
//Cool Story Brah!

Yo! BeaumontEnterprise.com! Put something on your site saying where farking Beaumont actually IS. Something in the header, maybe.
Beaumont farking Texas.

I kinda had a clue since I lived in Bossier City for a few, but dayum. I had to go to the real estate section to verify that you were in Texas.

/I hate 'news' sites that do this

venerant: Dumas didn't even wear a mask.

Not even an iron one?

Why did he go get a chair? I would have rammed a shopping cart through the window. It would be fun.

GungFu: venerant: Dumas didn't even wear a mask.

Not even an iron one?

/golfclap

"Get Out Einstein" would be a good band name.

Kwai Lo: Years ago, I went to an HMV on a Sunday to look at some new CDs. I opened the door, walked in, and walked around a bit. It was rather dark, but I had just been outside, so didn't think too much about it. Looked around, didn't see anyone. Called, didn't hear anyone. Walked back to the door, and saw that the store was closed on Sundays. Called the cops, and waited for them to show up. Didn't even get a free CD out of it, even though I could have had a store full of free CDs.

/University and Phillip, Waterloo
//Cool Story Brah!

Yep... would have been a much cooler story before everyone with an internet connection has already stolen a store's worth of CDs.

How stupid can he be if he hasn't been caught yet?

/Only stupid thing is that he started to panic before doing the obvious.

CygnusDarius: 1.- You get a car that'll hold in a crash
2.- Crash the car in the man entrance
3.- Loot
4.- Get away with the car
5.- Profit!

/Although you could have some trouble

That sounds like it would hurt....a lot...

I can see both sides of this issue. One side says that maybe Subby has retardation and we should not pick on him for thinking this person's name was Mr. Albert T.W. Einstein. Because that would mean it was just due to the disorder.

The other side of this says that maybe we should make this judgment because listen to me it is something that sometimes can help people just ask the honorable Judge Judy. So I ask this to you the Fark.com do you think that this person resembles Mr. Albert Einstein and this was the casual mistake or do you think that this may even be the slanderous headline?

fizzix_is_fun: CygnusDarius: 1.- You get a car that'll hold in a crash
2.- Crash the car in the man entrance
3.- Loot
4.- Get away with the car
5.- Profit!

/Although you could have some trouble

That sounds like it would hurt....a lot...

Armageddon!