They recommend you use the cabinet for something else and either dispose of, or move, the alcohol.

One shot at a time.

"The panelists say the alcohol should not be accessible in a home with teenagers."

I keep my Scotch in the cupboard next to the kids breakfast cereal.
We have this thing called `trust'. They don't drink my Scotch - I don't eat their Cocoa Puffs.

The `panelists' can blow it out their clenched fundie asses!

I love the theme of that whole question and answer exchange:

Teenagers will, without a doubt, drink every drop of alcohol near them if given half an opportunity. After achieving a BAC of 2.00%, they will impregnate all your neighbors' daughters then crash their car into a busload of nuns, killing everyone, and setting you up for constant steam of civil suits for the rest of your life. That's just what teenagers do.

/If you can't have a bottle of Scotch in your house for fear that your teenage son will drink it all, you have failed as a parent long before today.

That might be the dumbest question I've seen posted to an advice column.

Adjective Bird Whiskey: That might be the dumbest question I've seen posted to an advice column.

How is brabby alexander formed?

If you are asking random internet strangers for parenting advice you have already failed as a parent.

And they can start farking off with their "teachable moment" shiat.

You're being a bit hard on the parents. They might have been asking for ways to tell the kids "Please don't drink this, especially without us here to supervise, and never before driving" and the panelists assumed they meant "How can I keep my budding wino teenagers out of the booze?"

the parents should drink every drop before the kids have a chance to get at it, while the kids are watching

Gecko Gingrich: Teenagers will, without a doubt, drink every drop of alcohol near them if given half an opportunity. After achieving a BAC of 2.00%, they will impregnate all your neighbors' daughters then crash their car into a busload of nuns

God I miss high-school.

Gecko Gingrich: Teenagers will, without a doubt, drink every drop of alcohol near them if given half an opportunity. After achieving a BAC of 2.00%, they will impregnate all your neighbors' daughters then crash their car into a busload of nuns, killing everyone, and setting you up for constant steam of civil suits for the rest of your life. That's just what teenagers do.

You forgot about the part where they light the nearest high school on fire.

I always left my father some of his booze.... In fact, he never knew I was in it on a regular basis.

And subby, the concern was installing a lock on an antique cabinet.....

I don't know, you could do something drastic like teach your kids that alcohol is not a boogy man to be afraid of, but rather a good social lubricant and acceptable form of drink in most situations when used in moderation. Instead of teaching them to fear it, teach them to enjoy and respect it. Wild and crazy notion, I know.

They could just do what my parents did, count and measure everything and rely on the fact their kids have no friends and wouldn't drink alone.

Such a shame. Perhaps they can use a sharpie to draw a line on each bottle.

/don't be surprised when your undrunk vodak seems watered down

I'm pretty sure I've watched enough Antiques Roadshow to know that you do *not* drill up antique cabinets to install locks on them.

God forbid your teenager let a drip of alcohol pass their lips before age 21, the age at which God decrees you are mature enough to have a beer. Or eight.

Certainly don't teach your kids to be responsible around the stuff, that's nearly as bad as teaching them to have safe sex.

Teens?!?! Drinking alcohol?!?!

My brother and I simply stayed out of our parents' booze. It wasn't worth the mountain of shiat they would have landed on us.

We got our own.

redqueenmeg
They could just do what my parents did, count and measure everything and rely on the fact their kids have no friends and wouldn't drink alone.

Ha!

Link (Camel Toads)

What a waste of an article. It could have been summed up thusly:

Problem: I have unlocked liquor in the house and don't want unlocked liquor in the house.

Answer 1: Lock the liquor in your house.

Answer 2: Remove the liquor from your house.

What Morans would even write such a stupid article?

The parents should just have me stay for a weekend. I'd take care of their problem.

How do I reach these Keeds?!?

redqueenmeg: They could just do what my parents did, count and measure everything and rely on the fact their kids have no friends and wouldn't drink alone.

Wow no wonder your posting Fark:

*clenched Iron fist parents who are suspecting
*expect their kids to have no friends

Also, what are you parent's Fark handles? They sound like a co uple of Asshats I see posting regularly.

jehovahs witness protection: They recommend you use the cabinet for something else and either dispose of, or move, the alcohol.

One shot at a time.

'Different people have different attitudes about the role of alcohol,' she says. 'If you don't want to get rid of it, you could hide the alcohol somewhere else.

In my stomach

Headline made me think of Senator Blutarsky and a particularly heart-rending moment during his college days. Seems some movers failed to secure the booze they were carting out of his frat house. Good times, good times

Fano: /don't be surprised when your undrunk vodak seems watered down

I learned that one the hard way. Eventually, it's all water and it freezes solid. Dad noticed that.

IdBeCrazyIf: Gecko Gingrich: Teenagers will, without a doubt, drink every drop of alcohol near them if given half an opportunity. After achieving a BAC of 2.00%, they will impregnate all your neighbors' daughters then crash their car into a busload of nuns, killing everyone, and setting you up for constant steam of civil suits for the rest of your life. That's just what teenagers do.

You forgot about the part where they light the nearest high school on fire.

"Dude...watch this!"

FTFA: She suggests you thank your relative and give the alcohol away.

"By giving away alcohol, you can open a conversation with your teenagers and explain why you don't want it in your home," she says.

Now that is just crazy talk. Give it away? What does that say about your family friends on to whom you've now off-loaded the poison?

Ridiculous. Put the new booze in your existing, lock-able cabinet and move on.

selfabuse: I'm pretty sure I've watched enough Antiques Roadshow to know that you do *not* drill up antique cabinets to install locks on them.

What he said.

oldfarthenry: "The panelists say the alcohol should not be accessible in a home with teenagers."

I keep my Scotch in the cupboard next to the kids breakfast cereal.
We have this thing called `trust'. They don't drink my Scotch - I don't eat their Cocoa Puffs.

The `panelists' can blow it out their clenched fundie asses!

Came here to say that. America is a sad, sad place.

Remember kids, steal the Vodka. It's clear so you replace what you stole with water, so when daddy drinks he wont get as drunk.

Win/Win

JimmySlicings: Link (Camel Toads)

Good advice from Leslie.

Teenagers shouldn't drink because why?

Teens remove liquor and replace with equal amount of water.

Pretty soon your liquor is watered down just like at a bar.

Never EVER dispose alcohol! What was that biatch thinking? You let it age or give it to somebody who will drink it, but don't toss it out! Even if it tastes like varnish, IT'S FARKING BOOZE, DAMMIT!!

/not much off a drinker, but I don't believe in waste

Holy cow, I wish I would get the gift of a fully stocked liquor cabinet.

/off to buy some popov

The panelist advice sucks. Gee, I won't be a bit offended that you gave away hundreds or thousands of dollars I just spent to give you fully stocked liquor cabinet in addition to giving you the cabinet.

The parents can just leave the bottles unopened. Stealing from a partially drunk bottle in one thing, breaking into a sealed bottle is noticeable.

Seriously, I'm beginning to think we're raising a generation that hears over and over again "you aren't trustworthy, I have no expectations from you but failure". The expectation to not steal should have been drummed into the kids' heads before they even started preschool. It has nothing to do with underage drinking, it has everything to do with the "golden rule" and teaching your kids that you don't frak over other people, especially people who love you.

/drank underage
//never stole a damn thing from my parents

Farking A.

How are they supposed to learn to drink 'responsibly'? By giving them a free all day all you can drink pass when they turn 21?.

Do some parenting. Have 'a' glass at dinner. Explain to them how to drink.

FTA: This is an opportunity for a teachable moment, agrees panelist Ann Adams.

Damn right. Here's the lesson: Messing with my booze is like messing with my emotions. There will be consequences. I don't hide nor lock up booze in my home.

oldfarthenry: "The panelists say the alcohol should not be accessible in a home with teenagers."

I keep my Scotch in the cupboard next to the kids breakfast cereal.
We have this thing called `trust'. They don't drink my Scotch - I don't eat their Cocoa Puffs.

^ THIS ^

I have the same set-up in my house with two teen-agers, a tween and an 8YO.

factoryconnection: Now that is just crazy talk. Give it away?

Depends. Is said gifted alcohol top shelf or well?

/booze snob :]

Yakk: Remember kids, steal the Vodka. It's clear so you replace what you stole with water, so when daddy drinks he wont get as drunkthe beatings will lessen.

Win/Win

FTFY

give me doughnuts: My brother and I simply stayed out of our parents' booze. It wasn't worth the mountain of shiat they would have landed on us.
We got our own.

THIS
I knew where my parents kept the liquor, and I never touched it
/even after I was legal

1nsanilicious: redqueenmeg: They could just do what my parents did, count and measure everything and rely on the fact their kids have no friends and wouldn't drink alone.

Wow no wonder your posting Fark:

*clenched Iron fist parents who are suspecting
*expect their kids to have no friends

Also, what are you parent's Fark handles? They sound like a co uple of Asshats I see posting regularly.

BS, we expected you to have friends.

Would someone post the advice column in which the wife comes home and catches her husband dressed in her underwear? She came home because her car stalled and the advice centers exclusively on why a car may fail to start. It's comedy gold.

To stay on topic: At about the age of 15 a friend and I raided his parent's liquor cabinet. That was my first actual experience with memory loss. It happened two more times before I got the message that drinking for distance was not a good sport. I also switched to weed. Knowing what your kids are up to seems to make more sense than stopping them before they can get up to it. Just my $.02.

Crusader: I don't know, you could do something drastic like teach your kids that alcohol is not a boogy man to be afraid of, but rather a good social lubricant and acceptable form of drink in most situations when used in moderation. Instead of teaching them to fear it, teach them to enjoy and respect it. Wild and crazy notion, I know.

Yep, that's the way to go. All the people I know whose parents were extremely anti-alcohol went nuts when they moved out on their own.

My parents always had a fully stocked, never locked, liquor cabinet and just taught us this old-fashioned concept called 'moderation.' From age 12 or so, I was allowed to drink wine at sit-down meals, and my parents talked to us about alcoholism, drunk driving, all the bad stuff, as well as appropriate usage and consumption.

I'm 23 (drinking age here is 19) and have never been drunk. I can comfortably go spend an evening in a bar with friends and have one or two drinks, as I do not feel the need to chug beer to have fun.

As a teenager I never once touched my parents stash. Pop's would have beat me senseless.

I went out and bought my own alcohol to get shiatfaced.

ZOMG! I have liquor and teens in my house what do I do?

Well I would have suggested that if you worry about this stuff and don't know how to handle it you should have had children in the first place, so that was your first missed opportunity.

Your second miss opportunity was not instilling the proper amount of fear in your children. That way you could have had an unspoken understanding that if the teens touch the liquor the consequences with be swift certain and severe. It worked for me when I was growing up.

/You might even be nice and let them know that if they try to replace the clear liquor with water they'll know.

ahh brings back sweet sweet memories of skimming off an ounce or so off 20 various bottles of dear ol' dads booze into a pickle jar..

Good times!!