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(Celebitchy) Cool Jessica Alba tells girl who wants to have cosmetic surgeries to look exactly like her to get a life   (celebitchy.com) divider line 59
More: Cool, Jessica Alba, Heidi Montag, plastic surgery, ex-boyfriend, breakups, People magazine, subtext, Joan Rivers  
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8609 clicks; posted to Showbiz » on 08 Feb 2010 at 12:05 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

59 Comments   (+0 »)
   


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FishyFred [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 11:27:23 AM  
Now... will this be a Jessica Alba thread or a plastic surgery thread?

Jessica Alba?

Or...

Plastic surgery?

Hmmm....

 
RoxtarRyan [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 11:29:38 AM  
I disagree. We need more people looking like her.

 
I_Am_Weasel [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 11:47:45 AM  
Ha! No advice against middle aged men getting plastic surgery to look like her.

 
unyon [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 11:54:23 AM  
FTFA: "I think you should never have to change yourself like that," actress Alba said. "If somebody loves you, they'll love you no matter what."

...says the hot chick who will never, ever, need to test that theory.

 
bulsd 2010-02-08 12:07:43 PM  
Stay Classy Jessica Alba.

 
themuze 2010-02-08 12:08:46 PM  
Five posts of text? Disappointing.

 
bulsd 2010-02-08 12:09:02 PM  
Wait, she wants to win back an ex who's an Alba fan? WTF? Ditch his ass and find another basement dwellar. Jeebus...

 
dalovindj 2010-02-08 12:10:54 PM  
bulsd: Stay Classy Jessica Alba.

Yes, whether it be through sex robots or fully immersive neuro-jacked virtual reality, I can't wait for the day when we can all order the Jessica Alba (or any hottie, for that matter) personal sex slave. When every man, woman, and child can have sex with realistic copies of the most beautiful people in the world at will, we can all finally stop giving a fark what these uppity hot biatches say or want.

 
radioman_ 2010-02-08 12:12:10 PM  
I like to hear the Chinese boyfriend just say "Jessica Alba."

 
andrew131 [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 12:12:17 PM  
This is as about as stupid as a rich person that inherited all of their wealth telling homeless to get a job.

 
patrick767 [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 12:14:06 PM  
dalovindj
Yes, whether it be through sex robots or fully immersive neuro-jacked virtual reality, I can't wait for the day when we can all order the Jessica Alba (or any hottie, for that matter) personal sex slave. When every man, woman, and child can have sex with realistic copies of the most beautiful people in the world at will, we can all finally stop giving a fark what these uppity hot biatches say or want.

We'll also go extinct as a species, but we'll be smiling about it.

 
SLADE 2010-02-08 12:15:59 PM  
came for the Alba Pics....Leaving very unhappy.
I'll be in my bunk #21 waiting....

 
Quasar [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 12:17:44 PM  
She doesn't need a life, she needs help. From what I recall, the girl is something like 21, pretty damn attractive as it is (with a little makeup), and for some reason she wears a blonde wig and is getting her face cut up because her boyfriend-in-a-country-where-there-are-like-7-men-for-every-1-female wants her to look different.

I have enough problems with women getting breast implants just because their boyfriend wants them to. This chick, however, is seriously messed up.

 
Mentalpatient87 2010-02-08 12:18:21 PM  
dalovindj: bulsd: Stay Classy Jessica Alba.

Yes, whether it be through sex robots or fully immersive neuro-jacked virtual reality, I can't wait for the day when we can all order the Jessica Alba (or any hottie, for that matter) personal sex slave. When every man, woman, and child can have sex with realistic copies of the most beautiful people in the world at will, we can all finally stop giving a fark what these uppity hot biatches say or want.


That's a damn good point. The future is looking bright all of a sudden...

//and sticky

 
featherspy 2010-02-08 12:20:54 PM  
At least she's speaking up and trying to give a positive message instead of goading the girl or just ignoring it.

Celebrities have weird-ass problems. I'd rather be myself than be a celebrity and have to deal with having such a huge influence on the lives of people a million miles away, who don't speak the same language. Creepy.

 
braedan 2010-02-08 12:22:17 PM  
I'm just gonna link to the fine contribution by Odd Bird from the previous thread. (NSFW, she's chilly)

 
distopianDream 2010-02-08 12:23:37 PM  
Aren't there a million men in China to choose from? What's this girls problem?

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 12:24:13 PM  
i47.tinypic.com
"A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker."

 
lostinspace1978 2010-02-08 12:26:08 PM  
chronicvacation.com

 
Odd Bird 2010-02-08 12:28:50 PM  
braedan: I'm just gonna link to the fine contribution by Odd Bird from the previous thread. (NSFW, she's chilly)

Was that NSFW? I see how it could be possible, but in the past the mods have flagged my contributions and given me a 72 hr wrist slap when over the line.

/btw - glad you felt it worthy of a forwarding link, I'm touched.

 
Brick-House 2010-02-08 12:29:35 PM  
Nothing to read here, go back and look at Jessica Alba's Ass

 
PizzaJedi81 2010-02-08 12:34:01 PM  
Brick-House: Nothing to read here, go back and look at Jessica Alba's Ass

Done and done!

 
dalovindj 2010-02-08 12:36:35 PM  
img168.imageshack.us

 
Devils Advocate 668 2010-02-08 12:39:11 PM  
lh3.ggpht.com


Good for her to speak up instead of ignoring it.

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 12:41:00 PM  
If she's going to make herself look like an attractive female celebrity, why Alba? The world lost Bea Arthur last year, and who knows how long Betty White has? Who will pick up the mantle when she's gone?

Think of the children.

 
nmiguy 2010-02-08 12:43:16 PM  
One more Jessica Alba thread and I am going on a kitten killing spree (figuratively.)

 
braedan 2010-02-08 12:45:56 PM  
Odd Bird: braedan: I'm just gonna link to the fine contribution by Odd Bird from the previous thread. (NSFW, she's chilly)

Was that NSFW? I see how it could be possible, but in the past the mods have flagged my contributions and given me a 72 hr wrist slap when over the line.

/btw - glad you felt it worthy of a forwarding link, I'm touched.


I don't think it was NSFW, but I was just being cautious. I also didn't want to take credit - I haven't seen that pic of her before and it seriously improved my Monday.

 
Burn_Atlanta 2010-02-08 12:47:34 PM  
GreenAdder: If she's going to make herself look like an attractive female celebrity, why Alba? The world lost Bea Arthur last year, and who knows how long Betty White has? Who will pick up the mantle when she's gone?

Think of the children.


Especially if she keeps getting tackled into the mud!

 
shoegaze99 2010-02-08 12:53:15 PM  
RoxtarRyan: I disagree. We need more people looking like her.

If every day was Christmas ...

 
h2oincfs 2010-02-08 12:57:42 PM  
After the surgery, she plans to sleep with Jessica Alba's boyfriend, and then kill him with a shoe.

 
West_Side_Charlie 2010-02-08 01:01:06 PM  
So... what happens when she gets all the surgery done and then her boyfriend decides he's more of a Kristin Bell kind of guy?

 
LeroyBourne 2010-02-08 01:03:24 PM  
Asian Jessica Alba? Could be very hot.

 
monoski 2010-02-08 01:14:00 PM  
cdn.faniq.com

Doctors cannot make one of these!

 
mhd 2010-02-08 01:20:47 PM  
Hmm, wasn't there a cyberpunk novel that had gangs of people that were all cosmetically altered to resemble one celebrity (e.g. a bunch of JFKs and Jackies)?

Wonder what's necessary to make cosmetic surgery as commonplace as tattoo parlors...

/Ok, it could've been a cyberpunk RPG.

 
rf134a 2010-02-08 01:22:45 PM  
bulsd: Ditch his ass and find another basement dwellar. Jeebus...

Basements are ridiculously expensive in Shanghai, so finding another rich guy will be difficult. Of course, there's a female shortage in China, so finding another average guy will be easy.

 
brawberrys 2010-02-08 01:35:20 PM  
I for one welcome our new Jessica Alba faced Clone overlords....

/disapointed i had to be the one to say this

 
Fra_dat_da 2010-02-08 01:50:40 PM  
uh-oh... two Jessica Alba threads in the same day... which one will the mods yank?

 
PizzaJedi81 2010-02-08 01:58:52 PM  
Fra_dat_da: uh-oh... two Jessica Alba threads in the same day... which one will the mods yank?

I somehow doubt it's a thread that'll get yanked.

 
Lloyd Braun 2010-02-08 02:05:46 PM  
Am I the only here who has never seen a Jessica Alba movie? True, I don't see a ton of movies but she has never been in one film that I've ever wanted to see (with the exception of maybe Sin City). She's been in some of the worst movies over the past 10 years.

 
isamudyson 2010-02-08 02:06:57 PM  
monoski: Doctors cannot make one of these!

Yep, only nature can make a self-entitled celebrity that feels she is too good to follow the source material like everyone else did.

/the other girls got naked, why wouldn't you Jessica?

 
puckhead 2010-02-08 02:14:51 PM  
an Asian Jessica Alba with self-esteem issues? yes please.

 
freetomato [recently expired TotalFark] 2010-02-08 02:25:56 PM  
The crazy Chinese chick in question:

4.bp.blogspot.com

 
shoegaze99 2010-02-08 02:52:12 PM  
isamudyson: Yep, only nature can make a self-entitled celebrity that feels she is too good to follow the source material like everyone else did.

"Did not provide me with the jerk off fodder I so badly desire" =/= Self-entitled and thinks she's better than her roles.

 
I Like Bread 2010-02-08 02:53:07 PM  
So does she have a movie out or something? Not that I don't mind the pics...

 
Odd Bird 2010-02-08 02:55:44 PM  
freetomato: The crazy Chinese chick in question:

Yes. Yes I would.

And I'd run like the wind when the bat shiat crazy got ugly*.

*when it didn't involve sex.

 
cledus 2010-02-08 03:09:57 PM  
this chick if farkable...she should tell boyfriend to fark off!! is he not familar with guy to girl ratio in china..5 guys to one chick

 
Gilligann [TotalFark] 2010-02-08 03:15:21 PM  
She's doing this to win back a boyfriend? Can't she find someone else? The boys/girls ratio is something like 1,000,000/1, yet she has to have this one guy? What an idiot!

 
spyderqueen 2010-02-08 03:19:41 PM  
dalovindj: bulsd: Stay Classy Jessica Alba.

Yes, whether it be through sex robots or fully immersive neuro-jacked virtual reality, I can't wait for the day when we can all order the Jessica Alba (or any hottie, for that matter) personal sex slave. When every man, woman, and child can have sex with realistic copies of the most beautiful people in the world at will, we can all finally stop giving a fark what these uppity hot biatches say or want.


My god! You never took middle school high hygiene. You never saw the propaganda film.

 
Brick-House 2010-02-08 03:33:34 PM  
Odd Bird: freetomato: The crazy Chinese chick in question:

Yes. Yes I would.

And I'd run like the wind when the bat shiat crazy got ugly*.

*when it didn't involve sex.



When the when the bat shiat crazy gets ugly, you turn to bondage... her geting tied down, not you... don't make that mistake like I d... never mind.

 
Guysmiley 2010-02-08 03:42:02 PM  
spyderqueen: dalovindj: bulsd: Stay Classy Jessica Alba.

Yes, whether it be through sex robots or fully immersive neuro-jacked virtual reality, I can't wait for the day when we can all order the Jessica Alba (or any hottie, for that matter) personal sex slave. When every man, woman, and child can have sex with realistic copies of the most beautiful people in the world at will, we can all finally stop giving a fark what these uppity hot biatches say or want.

My god! You never took middle school high hygiene. You never saw the propaganda film.


There's a school health propaganda film about sex slave robots? What, ah, what school did you say you attended again?

 
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