"Nurse, he'll need a 30cc IV Drip of Cantmakeidiotfunnyzone STAT!
Let's get some rubber-bands and clamp his stomach, we're going to need LOTS of rubber-bands. Let's hope he is checked-in long enough to save the Howard Stern show."

This dude's a dead man walking. Belushi-ization in 3...2...1...

You would think as a heroin addict he would be skinnier.

I admire Artie Lange's comedic philosophy.

He's watched Robin Williams and Steve Martin dissolve into crappy family-friendly bull. His hero is John Belushi. He's never tried to make his comedy family-friendly or politically correct.

He's living life the way he believes a real comedian should.

That, my friends, is something to be admired in our modern-day comedians. And rare indeed.

Sounds like he's heading down the John Belushi/Chris Farley trail, and we all know where that ends.

I don't understand how this self destructive individual is still alive.

I hope Howard brings back Jackie and Nancy ... Yeah!!!

He's living life the way he believes a real comedian should.

That, my friends, is something to be admired in our modern-day comedians. And rare indeed.

By killing himself.

It might not be rare, but it tends to be short-lived.

Ba-ba-druggie.

Cagey B: You would think as a heroin addict he would be skinnier.

I was listening to the show recently and, in a bit where they were talking about guys gaining weight, noted that Artie had gained some weight recently after months of losing weight and cleaning himself up after "quitting" drugs and seeing a psychologist. Maybe the weight gain was a clue.

If he's smart he'll finally go to rehab and get himself cleaned up for good. Otherwise I'm moving him to the top of my 2010 death pool. He's getting to an age where you don't bounce back from this stuff to easily.

/good luck fat druggie funny man

Cagey B: You would think as a heroin addict he would be skinnier.

He's always complained that even as a cokehead, he was fat.

Funny guy, though. "Beer League" was extremely funny, and played very much to 80s humor that you just don't see anymore.

John Belushi was Funny, this guy is NOT.
Jackie contributed FAR MORE to Howard Stern than this overrated Bloat Bag ever can HOPE to deliver.
Being Self-Destructive might make some people laugh, but count me out.

Bathia_Mapes: Sounds like he's heading down the John Belushi/Chris Farley trail, and we all know where that ends.

An SNL "Best of..." video.

I guess now he'll have to get someone else to do his dirty work for him.

In the Jackie v Artie debate, Artie wins hands down. Dude is funnier on his worst day than Hackie the Dope Man ever was. That being said, this "will he be back or wont he" crap that happens every time the show comes back from a long break is just tired. Either die or quit this crap, Artie.

Someone thinks Jackie the Joke Man is funny?

I thought the whole gag was how terribly unfunny he was.

Bathia_Mapes: Sounds like he's heading down the John Belushi/Chris Farley trail, and we all know where that ends.

A movie in the great^outdoors?^

I hope Artie gets well (how many times a year do I say this?), but Jackie was legend on the show. He was a thorn in Howard's side, a thorn in Robin's side, and a thorn in Fred's side. Plus a lot of Howard's jokes and song parodies were from the pen of Jackie. Billy West also greatly depended on Jackie's writing.

You could goof on Jackie and he could goof on you back.

Artie has been good, but in a different way. He brings drama to the show and I'll be honest, I'm usually checking out his latest soap opera.

I don't know if you guys read the stern fan sites, but the rumors are sounding pretty bad. Hopefully they're just rumors.

Confabulat: I admire Artie Lange's comedic philosophy.

He's watched Robin Williams and Steve Martin dissolve into crappy family-friendly bull. His hero is John Belushi. He's never tried to make his comedy family-friendly or politically correct.

He's living life the way he believes a real comedian should.

That, my friends, is something to be admired in our modern-day comedians. And rare indeed.

except for the crucial "actually being funny" part

Has anyone mentioned this sounds just like Farley/Belushi?

Get your life together Artie. We're all tired of hearing about it.

chestermania: John Belushi was Funny, this guy is NOT.
Jackie contributed FAR MORE to Howard Stern than this overrated Bloat Bag ever can HOPE to deliver.
Being Self-Destructive might make some people laugh, but count me out.

This

Bathia_Mapes: Sounds like he's heading down the John Belushi/Chris Farley trail, and we all know where that ends.

The difference being that Belushi and Farley were funny and had talent. Artie sucks. And I think you are all underestimating how much Jackie the Jokeman did. He wrote tons of bits like the Wood Yi ones and he fed Howard tons of lines over the years. His stand up is awful but he was a good radio sidekick.

elvindeath: In the Jackie v Artie debate, Artie wins hands down. Dude is funnier on his worst day than Hackie the Dope Man ever was. That being said, this "will he be back or wont he" crap that happens every time the show comes back from a long break is just tired. Either die or quit this crap, Artie.

Confabulat: Someone thinks Jackie the Joke Man is funny?

I thought the whole gag was how terribly unfunny he was.

Jackie used to write down a shiatload of jokes during the show and pass them to Howard. When he left Howard got a lot less funny. The trade-off for having Artie telling the jokes himself is that it shows that Howard simply isn't as clever as many people thought he was.

Jackie is not a funny comedian, but he's a pretty good writer.

If he dies after Rush Limbaugh didn't, there will be Hell to pay. As FSM is my witness!

He's the male fat Amy Winehouse.

Where's your FSM now?

Anybody got him on Rotten Dead Pool?

Beer League and Dirty Work were both funny.

That is all.

If he cleans up he won't be funny anymore. Cleaned up comics suck.

Better dead than unfunny, IMO.

Lets Go Artie! Lets Go!

/he's in my deathpool

Momma DiCaprio frowns on this

Confabulat:
He's living life the way he believes a real comedian should.

That, my friends, is something to be admired in our modern-day comedians. And rare indeed.

Well, it would be if he were actually funny.


//Save Baby Gorilla

F Timmy's dead skull

RemyDuron: If he cleans up he won't be funny anymore. Cleaned up comics suck.

Better dead than unfunny, IMO.

He's not funny now and he's coked to the farking gills.

He has nowhere to go but up. Now, if he goes the fundie route to get clean, then he can die.

Artie Lange is the Director's Cut of John Belushi.

Jgsublime: Beer League and Dirty Work were both funny.

That is all.

second

Not mine.

chestermania: "Nurse, he'll need a 30cc IV Drip of Cantmakeidiotfunnyzone STAT!
Let's get some rubber-bands and clamp his stomach, we're going to need LOTS of rubber-bands. Let's hope he is checked-in long enough to save the Howard Stern show."

Holy god was that unfunny. Note for future reference: don't throw stones at anyone with a modicum of humor.

/seriously
//painful

Oh mah lawd, this is quite the tensest.

sirrerun: Oh mah lawd, this is quite the tensest.

On the History Of Howard, I finally heard this in full context. It was some kid, Maury from Brooklyn, who was annoyed that the NBA finals were interrupted by the OJ car chase so he managed to scam his way, live, to Peter Jennings. Genius call.

From the link just below this one.
How apropos.

Confabulat: Someone thinks Jackie the Joke Man is funny?

I thought the whole gag was how terribly unfunny he was.

The last time he was on the show as a guest, he had a couple of funny and unbelievably dirty jokes.

More than anything though, his laugh is great.

Get well Artie. You fat frak!

You know, Artie always does something either right before a Stern vacation starts, or right before they come back from one.

He's a trooper, and knows how to provide soap opera material.

I'm wondering which will come first... the end of the Stern contract (January 1, 2011) or the end of Artie.

suggestive_eye_movement: sirrerun: Oh mah lawd, this is quite the tensest.

On the History Of Howard, I finally heard this in full context. It was some kid, Maury from Brooklyn, who was annoyed that the NBA finals were interrupted by the OJ car chase so he managed to scam his way, live, to Peter Jennings. Genius call.

Saw that call live when it happened.
Knew it was a Stern call as soon as it started.
I think the phrase "looky here" tipped me off.
That call will never be topped.

Artie missing: Howard Stern emergency staff meeting.

F Artie
/F Jackie too
//replace him with Florentine

Uhh NSFW subtitles ^.