Thinks might have gone differently if she hadn't chanted "badger badger badger" at the 911 dispatcher.

If she really wanted the cops to show up she should have complained that McDonalds didn't include the fries in her happy meal.
They show up lickety split for that.

jehovahs witness protection: If she really wanted the cops to show up she should have complained that McDonalds didn't include the fries in her happy meal.
They show up lickety split for that.

Or that there was a problem at Dunkin Donuts.

My friend Billy had a 12 foot willy
He showed it to the woman next door
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it's only 5 foot 4.

Giant pythons in your yard. Alligators hiding under your car ready to bite your ankles. Some even ring your doorbell. Flying cockroaches. Old people driving blind everywhere you look. Hurricanes. Giant meat eating lizards. High humidity. Mosquitoes. Fire ants.

Florida: it's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there (except in winter).

/visiting Florida tomorrow

She was afraid to get out of her car because of a big slow moving snake that wasn't even close? Uh...

I still don't see why you would have to call 911 for that.

"Hello, operator. I'm tired of these M*****F****** snakes in my M*****F****** yard!"



// obligatory

There's a snake in my boot!



/someone's poisoned the water-hole!

If it was an alligator a trapper would have been there in minutes as they profit off the hide & meat.

AWWWWW, look at the babykins!!!!

some of the comments are comedy GOLD!

example:

ladybug88 wrote:
A few years ago, I had a snake on the front of my car and did not notice until I was driving down the highway. Other drivers were amazed and signaling and pointing to the snake as it reared its head up from the front grill and attempted to crawl on the hood of my car.I called 911 and the dispatcher was very helpful and showed empathy for my dilemma. She was worried the snake could still enter my car through the engine. She connected me to the Florida Highway Patrol who was also concerned and helpful. He advised me to pull into the nearest gas station, have someone look to see where the snake went since I could no longer see where it was located. We later determined the snake was a water moccasion. Shame on the Florida Wildlife Commission's response, obviously corrective action and additional training is needed for the Florida Fish and Wildlife employee that handled this call.

What did she expect the police to do, arrest it?

Its a Python, its not venomous. Hitting it with a shovel is the right thing to do.

Motherfarkers! and there snakes!

I'd hit it!

farkwell: some of the comments are comedy GOLD!

example:

The only thing I got from that comment was that the person's life is pure shiat and they're trying to make themselves look more sophisticated on the internet.

I should know..I do it all the time.

/pip-pip, cheerios

In fact, she says the FWC dispatcher she spoke with even scolded her for calling 911.

911 is for emergencies and you didn't have one. +1 to the dispatcher.

Oh boy, here come the snake lovers.

"Don't kill the innocent snake!! Whyyyy-- mmmm, cheeseburgers."

Let's make sure we have a *consistent* worldview before we post!

Not even a shovel can stop these 24-inch pythons, brother!

jehovahs witness protection: If she really wanted the cops to show up she should have complained that McDonalds didn't include the fries in her happy meal.
They show up lickety split for that.

One of my previous college professors honestly told us as a class while referring to an incident where a boy was beating brutally murdered in the woods and called the police only to have them arrive 2 hours after his death - just say "officer down!" to 911 dispatch after you tell them your location. You might get in trouble, but you'll save your own life.

wanted for questioning

Wow, florida tax dollars hard at work

Authorites?

just say officer down they love that one

vodka: She was afraid to get out of her car because of a big slow moving snake that wasn't even close? Uh...

You don't know much about snakes, do you?

Truthfully, i wouldn't mess with a big Snake in my yard, either.

Why didn't she just drive over it?

PYROY: In fact, she says the FWC dispatcher she spoke with even scolded her for calling 911.

911 is for emergencies and you didn't have one. +1 to the dispatcher.

I don't know about you, but a 12-foot-long snake that is trapping me in my car sounds like an emergency to me.

Just read a decent story in Playboy about this...the Great Florida Python Scare or something like that.

If you listen to their local politicians, snakes are eating kids day in and day out, yet most people haven't seen one, even if they go looking for them.

I used to be an Information Specialist for Florida Fish & Wildlife. That dispatcher was very wrong and should be punished, and probably will be. I used to work with Gary Moore, he's saying all the right things to put this in damage control. You should never approach a dangerous animal if it shows up in your yard.
Oddly enough, if a gator is in your yard the FWC will usually tell you to call a licensed trapper and usually won't handle it themselves.

Walker: PYROY: In fact, she says the FWC dispatcher she spoke with even scolded her for calling 911.

911 is for emergencies and you didn't have one. +1 to the dispatcher.

I don't know about you, but a 12-foot-long snake that is trapping me in my car sounds like an emergency to me.

Run over it with the car?

St_Francis_P: Thinks might have gone differently if she hadn't chanted "badger badger badger" at the 911 dispatcher.

Damn you to hell! Now I have that song in my head.

/Mushroom Mushroom!

2wolves: Run over it with the car?
======================================

THIS

Whats the problem, you can use Bash with Python.

CraicBaby: You don't know much about snakes, do you?

Heh, now we see why people have the attitude of this lady. Pythons are ambush predators. They are not fast. They can strike fast but they can't move very fast.

Have you ever handled a python of this size? They are slow as fark. Especially this time of year the thing would have been like a slug.

i'm intellectual and stuff: Oh boy, here come the snake lovers.

"Don't kill the innocent snake!! Whyyyy-- mmmm, cheeseburgers."

Let's make sure we have a *consistent* worldview before we post!

I love snakes, but this is an invasive species. While it isn't going to be much of a threat to humans, it shouldn't be left out in the wild. In this case, I'd be ok with either killing it or keeping it in captivity.

ihatedumbpeople: Just read a decent story in Playboy about this...the Great Florida Python Scare or something like that.

If you listen to their local politicians, snakes are eating kids day in and day out, yet most people haven't seen one, even if they go looking for them.

The kids are too fat for the snakes to get down.

Came for Python parsing jokes...

...leaving disappointed.

...And if she had tried to handle it herself and killed the thing, everyone would be biatching her out for not going through proper channels to have the animal captured.

She didn't know what to do. She probably had no experience with snakes and assumed she could be in danger. She had her child with her. So, she called 911.

Maybe if she was from the internet, she would have flipped out of her sun roof and lured the creature after her, dashing and dodging until the snake tied itself up into a comical bow. Then she could have quipped, "Knot today, my friend."

But, instead, she was just (I'm guessing) suburban lady who was scared and worried and called officials for help. I don't see what's so bad about that.

dr.zaeus: Came for Python parsing jokes...

...leaving disappointed.

probesport: Whats the problem, you can use Bash with Python.

Not close enough for you?

What do you expect from a 911 operator making $7.25 an hour??? I am surprised they have not outsourced to Mumbai yet.

.....Trouser snake..... don't let it catch you with your pants down.

Every one knows the right tool to deal with a snake is a hoe.

I got a shovel for you!

I am amazed no one else noticed this. The related stories at the bottom of the page were:

Python Hunt: Python hunting permits extended
The Snake Effect: Study shows how Florida tourism could suffer
Report: 5 giant snake species pose risks to U.S.
Photo Gallery: Court exhibit photos of a dead and gutted 15-foot python (courtesy South Florida Water Management District)

Really? This one incident could kill Florida tourism? Python hunting permits? What the Fark?

probesport: Whats the problem, you can use Bash with Python.

*applause*

PYROY: In fact, she says the FWC dispatcher she spoke with even scolded her for calling 911.

911 is for emergencies and you didn't have one. +1 to the dispatcher.

Do you know the number to the FWC dispatcher?


No?


Well who would you call if there was a 12 foot python in your yard near your car while you have your toddler with you? The Ghostbusters?