Possible response with potential entertainment value.

sweet. my first green in a looong time

And the crew hasn't been informed. That's a great thing to wake up to. "Hiya Sergei! Sleep well? So uh, there's this space junk, right..."

Should we pray for Omarion?

If NASA officials determine the space junk poses a serious threat, the two-man crew -- which is not aware of the threat --

What the Fark?!

in space, no one can hear you get reamed

So a piece of space junk walks into the space station...

Space Junk May Force Astronauts To Take Shelter

GET TO THE BASEMENT NOW!!eleventy!

TODO PANICO

This is bad news.

gadian: And the crew hasn't been informed. That's a great thing to wake up to. "Hiya Sergei! Sleep well? So uh, there's this space junk, right..."

Exactly. Came here to say this.

That has got to be utterly terrifying for the crew. Shades of being afraid of the boogeyman, as I would think it unlikely that they could see whatever junk coming, at least until it was WAY too close.

farkwell: Should we pray for Omarion?

If you have to ask the question, the answer is certainly yes.

/thoughts and prayers

The crew's unaware? Sounds like a good opportunity for a teabagging.

Mission control in Houston said it's too late to move the space station out of the path of the debris, which is from a Russian satellite that collided with a U.S. satellite on Feb 10.

Don't we have agreements in place to coordinate and avoid these events?

FTFA: Soyuz escape pod

They would be safer just staying in the ISS.

shiatcakes. Good luck astrodudes.

Sure hope our $100 billion space station doesn't get taken out either.

I love it when trash makes the news.

Kazan: sweet. my first green in a looong time

Probably not gonna last. There's already a thread on the Geek page.

Dancin_In_Anson: If NASA officials determine the space junk poses a serious threat, the two-man crew -- which is not aware of the threat --

What the Fark?!

It really pisses me off that NASA has a culture of not informing its crews of problems and concerns. These people are highly trained experts in their fields, and there's a good chance that, if they know about the problem/risk/danger, they can help be part of the solution.

They can't alter the orbit? Maybe they should call NASA or something.

The size of the piece of debris is not known.

So what exactly is happening? There's a blip on the radar so they are going to climb in the escape pod until the blip sized blip either makes impact or completely misses the ISS by a mile.

This is the sole reason I have never taken a trip to the ISS.

Paging Bruce Willis... Bruce Willis pick up the white courtesy phone.

Wow. Gotta love that the world knows before the crew.

HotWingConspiracy: Mission control in Houston said it's too late to move the space station out of the path of the debris, which is from a Russian satellite that collided with a U.S. satellite on Feb 10.

Don't we have agreements in place to coordinate and avoid these events?

my understanding was that the russian satellite was out of control in a decaying orbit...

lemme see if i can find it on wiki.

/hot like an afterburner

This is bad news. For Obama.

Man.

I hope one of those guys doesn't log on to Fark first thing when he wakes up.

Dancin_In_Anson: which is not aware of the threat --

If movies like Apollo 13 and Armageddon have taught me anything.. why freak the crew out about it if there's not a damn thing they can do about it?

I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

The crew said goodbye to three other astronauts who undocked from the station Monday night and returned to Earth in Kazakhstan early Tuesday morning.

Unfortunately they took the emergency 'sling shot' device used for repelling space debris with them.

Holy shiat they weren't kidding.

gadian: And the crew hasn't been informed. That's a great thing to wake up to. "Hiya Sergei! Sleep well? So uh, there's this space junk, right..."

"Okay, everyone. Assume crash positions."

trappedspirit: They can't alter the orbit? Maybe they should call NASA or something.



takes time... apparently too much time for them to get out of the "volume of risk" for this object.

====

oh and

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_satellite_collision
The collision destroyed both Iridium 33 (owned by Iridium Satellite LLC) and Kosmos 2251 (owned by the Russian Space Forces). While the Iridium satellite was operational at the time of the collision, the Russian satellite had been out of service since at least 1995 and was no longer actively controlled.[7][8] Kosmos-2251 was launched on June 16, 1993, and went out of service two years later, in 1995, according to Gen. Yakushin[9].

Further proof that we can't track incoming intercepts and that the government wont tell you shiat about it once they do.

It's deja vu all over again.

Pump_ThePurpleWarrior: Paging Bruce Willis... Bruce Willis pick up the white courtesy phone.

I've got it!

Why don't they just activate the deflector shields?

I'm sure this is somehow Obama's fault.

Someone call Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck. Prepare the nukes!

Can we hit the thing with a missile from here? Even if it's just enough to change its direction?

How absolutely terrifying for the crew. And also fascinating. That's only a few hours away, holy crap.

trappedspirit: They can't alter the orbit? Maybe they should call NASA or something.

The size of the piece of debris is not known.

So what exactly is happening? There's a blip on the radar so they are going to climb in the escape pod until the blip sized blip either makes impact or completely misses the ISS by a mile.

Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

Has anyone seen that Air Force commerical where they have a space station and are suddenly altered that it is on a collision course with some debris and they launch "evasive maneuvers" and 5 seconds later it's "Collision averted sir!" They even end with some cheesy line about it not being sci-fi but reality.

Yeah, I guess it doesn't quite work like that huh.

A serious effort to clean up the junk from orbit will have to be undertaken one day, less our planetary back yard become unnavigable for our satellites and other traffic.

Ninja Wicked: Holy shiat they weren't kidding.

actually, they possibly are incorrect (date issues and total lack of infor on the fark link).

TLDR from the link, headline from space.com: "Old Rocket Junk Poses No Threat to Space Station"

TsukasaK: Dancin_In_Anson: which is not aware of the threat --

If movies like Apollo 13 and Armageddon have taught me anything.. why freak the crew out about it if there's not a damn thing they can do about it?

Like suit up?

make me some tea: I'm sure this is somehow Obama's fault.

Well, it happened on his watch. Just like Gerald Ford is to blame for the creation of the Ford Mustang/Pinto.

Pump_ThePurpleWarrior: Paging Bruce Willis... Bruce Willis pick up the white courtesy phone.

Wrong department; you're looking for the extension for Ai Tanabe, Half Section.

HotWingConspiracy: Mission control in Houston said it's too late to move the space station out of the path of the debris, which is from a Russian satellite that collided with a U.S. satellite on Feb 10.

Don't we have agreements in place to coordinate and avoid these events?

Yes, unless this was a result of low-grade satellite warfare.