Mmmm....sandwich.

Holy Trinity = Bacon Lettuce Tomato

I just don't cut my sandwiches at all. Also, I like to use rye bread, which tends to be rectangular. Cutting that diagonally doesn't work so well.

Diagonally-cut sammiches are WAY better for dipping in soup.

/Nothing else matters.
//NOTHING!

Children like their sandwiches cut diagonally. Coincidence?

That, plus square-cut sandwiches are the Devil's work. Coincidence?

Hender: That, plus square-cut sandwiches are the Devil's work. Coincidence?

Blasphemy! The bible says square cut sandwiches are really awesome.

Sabyen91: Hender: That, plus square-cut sandwiches are the Devil's work. Coincidence?

Blasphemy! The bible says square cut sandwiches are really awesome.

The Bible is a lot of things, but it's not the authority on sandwiches.

Hender: Sabyen91: Hender: That, plus square-cut sandwiches are the Devil's work. Coincidence?

Blasphemy! The bible says square cut sandwiches are really awesome.

The Bible is a lot of things, but it's not the authority on sandwiches.

It is an authority over everything. Especially sammiches.

The pointy ends dry out.

Sgygus: The pointy ends dry out.

You actually wait long enough for that to happen?

/I sound fat

Sgygus: The pointy ends dry out.

The Lord says if you eat the pointy end you will be treated to fire and brimstone.

/What? This thread will never go green?

Sabyen91: Hender: Sabyen91: Hender: That, plus square-cut sandwiches are the Devil's work. Coincidence?

Blasphemy! The bible says square cut sandwiches are really awesome.

The Bible is a lot of things, but it's not the authority on sandwiches.

It is an authority over everything. Especially sammiches.

I've read The Bible, and I don't ever remember Jesus preaching about the sanctity of pastrami and spicy mustard on rye.

i saw a "good eats" just last week and alton said diagonally cut sandwiches hold ingredients better than cross cut.
so it must be true

Yes, but how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?

Hender: Sabyen91: Hender: Sabyen91: Hender: That, plus square-cut sandwiches are the Devil's work. Coincidence?

Blasphemy! The bible says square cut sandwiches are really awesome.

The Bible is a lot of things, but it's not the authority on sandwiches.

It is an authority over everything. Especially sammiches.

I've read The Bible, and I don't ever remember Jesus preaching about the sanctity of pastrami and spicy mustard on rye.

You didn't know Jesus, then. He hated spicy mustard. It was elitist Roman.

Thread would have been over in one...until I saw the mayo there.

Turkey club sammich needs guacamole and mustard. NO MAYO, Yankee.

And extra bacon.

Civil_War2_Time: Thread would have been over in one...until I saw the mayo there.

Turkey club sammich needs guacamole and mustard. NO MAYO, Yankee.

And extra bacon.

Why don't you just throw some grits and chitlins on it, Johnny Reb?

petesadog: i saw a "good eats" just last week and alton said diagonally cut sandwiches hold ingredients better than cross cut.
so it must be true

That doesn't make any sense.

Unless you're using some really, really stale bread the crust is more rigid than the center, so by cross-cutting the sandwich you have three rigid sides to hold the fillings inside.

Sabyen91

Why don't you just throw some grits and chitlins on it, Johnny Reb?

Because I'm 1/4 Mexican.

Juanny next time, please.

i just report things

Civil_War2_Time: Sabyen91

Why don't you just throw some grits and chitlins on it, Johnny Reb?

Because I'm 1/4 Mexican.

Juanny next time, please.

And beans. Refried even.

/Ewww, I think I made myself ill.

The Great EZE: Yes, but how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?

I'm FOR 'em!!

Mmmmm, sacrelicious.

Diagonally cut sammiches fit better between two hands. Just like bananas. Obviously intelligently designed. This is why, as a Satan worshiper, i choose the rectangular cut.

Dammit now I want a sammich.

Is the four-day Time Cube involved with this at all?

Use an open-faced club! A sand wedge!

Cutting sandwiches? What a PITA.

yogaFLAME: Use an open-faced club! A sand wedge!

Mmmm...open-faced club sandwich...

Sabyen91: /What? This thread will never go green?

Hah!

Sabyen91: Children like their sandwiches cut diagonally. Coincidence?

Not this kid; I never cut my sandwiches diagonally as a child. Always
vertically. When I cut them, anyway.

I like the triangle. There is something beautiful about the angles and lines. My teachers would yell at me because I'd only doodle hundreds of triangles on my school work. (The preferred that if I must doodle, I could doodle something less "antagonizing".) The points, the balance, the concept. The triangle is my favorite shape. Awww, aren't you an acute little triangle?

"And for atonement, hear thou now,
The penance I intend --
To Sandwich town, in sackcloth gown,
To barefoot pilgrim wend:"

- 'The Rendering' by Robert Buchanan (1859)

not an acute observation


bread pans are trapezoidal, the bread forms an additional elliptical section above the base of the trapezoid

the loaf is not perfection, neither is the triangle formed.

My family was a vertical-cut sandwich family and we weren't allowed to associate with diagonally-cut sandwich people.

Kind of like the Capulets and the Montagues.

Triangles are for the plebes, who only use slabs of meat and cheese on their sandwiches. Smaller content tends to fall from acute apexes. The optimal sandwich cut creates uneven polygons.

/diagonal and four-sided

green totalfarkers!

Likes the triangle cut. Easier to cram into your maw.

Except Plato predated Christ by 350 years.

prjindigo:

the loaf is not perfection, neither is the triangle formed.




I dunno, baked in a pan de mie they come close enough for rock-n-roll, but perhaps that's just the engineer in me talking.

/you strike me as more of a mathematician...

The Gospel of Primanti states clearly the sandwich shall not be cut.

If it's a really big sandwich then it's easier to fit the diagonal cut (pointy) end into your mouth.

/We were so poor that we didn't cut our sammishes
//Diagonal ftw

Lets have a test.

Why don't we get some of the Farkettes around here to shake their moneymakers into the Kitchen and make us up a peck of sandwiches.

If you are thinking about complaining, remember, tits or gtfo.

I spent a good several years of my youth showing people that cutting the sandwich diagonally yielded more sandwich, labeling it "Sandwich Metaphysics". I would basically use overly complicated visuals and dramatic flair to disguise that I was lying my ass off about how math works.

Basically I would say, "Here's two 2x2 sandwiches. Let's cut them in half both ways."

"Now we'll examine their halves. The one cut down the middle? Why, it's area is width times length. 2 times 1. TWO."

"The one cut diagonally? Well well, we're looking at a third side of length 2.83. The area of that is 1/2 of the length times the height, canceling that out since the height is 2. It's .83 more area. THAT'S ALMOST A WHOLE NOTHER AREA OF DELICIOUS SANDWHICH."

I was a real asshole.

PC LOAD LETTER: Except Plato predated Christ by 350 years.

halfof33: Lets have a test.

Why don't we get some of the Farkettes around here to shake their moneymakers into the Kitchen and make us up a peck of sandwiches.

If you are thinking about complaining, remember, tits or gtfo.



No. No I won't.
/Wait.... do I HAVE to?

exempli gratis: PC LOAD LETTER: Except Plato predated Christ by 350 years.

Image file is too large: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2295/2159529314_46639041cc_o.jpg: 403 Forbidden

/that's what she said

Francine, I've told you, sandwiches should be cut in triangles like a neatly folded flag. What am I supposed to do with this rectangular monstrosity?

Can't you just pretend it's an unfolded flag?

No.

God, you can be such a douche.