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(Some Guy) Obvious If an Amtrak train leaving Boston with 48 passengers going 60 miles per hour is due to arrive in Portland at 9:25 p.m., how many whiplash lawsuits will occur when it hits the abandoned car on the tracks at 5:42 p.m.?   (updates.pressherald.mainetoday.com) divider line 68
More: Obvious, Amtrak, Portland Transportation Center, trains, An Amtrak Downeaster, lawsuits, inc  

68 Comments   (+0 »)


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SwiftFox [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-30 10:23:31 PM  
Orange, because ice cream has no bones

 
Skid Roe v. Wade Boggs [TotalFark] 2009-11-30 10:26:20 PM  
None.

Business hours are 8-5.

So they'll have to wait until 8 a.m. the next day.

 
robomonkster 2009-11-30 10:51:48 PM  
What's the Daylight Savings Time situation in Honduras?

 
FredaDeStilleto [TotalFark] 2009-11-30 11:19:58 PM  
This is a trick question.
Some passengers may not have necks.

 
Megain [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-30 11:25:40 PM  
i was told there would be no math

 
Winktologist [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 12:08:20 AM  
None. Amtrak never leaves anyone alive.

 
Paulistinian 2009-12-01 01:22:58 AM  
None, TFA says no injuries.

 
Dean Franz 2009-12-01 01:23:52 AM  
images.rottentomatoes.com

Wanted for questioning

 
stirfrybry 2009-12-01 01:23:54 AM  
Wicked tons!!

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-12-01 01:25:24 AM  
img690.imageshack.us

THAT'S A FARGIN' TRICK QUESTION!

 
zilch365 2009-12-01 01:27:04 AM  
Depending on the lawyers, between 60 and 100.

 
Githerax 2009-12-01 01:27:51 AM  
How did the car become abandoned? I can't believe all the employees just walked off the job, leaving it derelict, disappearing into the American countryside...

/shrugs

 
pippi longstocking 2009-12-01 01:29:42 AM  
Is it me or does anyone else think most of Amtrak's problems could be solved by putting GPS devices on each cart and have the information being relayed to every conductor?

 
RightWingWacko [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 01:29:43 AM  
My Dad was a Locomotive Enginner. He tells me that a he has hit cars and had cars run right into the side of the train and no one even noticed until someone radioed the crew to tell them about car hanging out the side of the train. He said they had gone well over a mile before with the automobile stuck between two train cars.

Remarkably, the driver (drunk of course) survived with no injuries.

 
HiFiGuy 2009-12-01 01:31:00 AM  
Githerax: How did the car become abandoned? I can't believe all the employees just walked off the job, leaving it derelict, disappearing into the American countryside...

/shrugs


It's unclear, but I think the car was an automobile, not a railcar.

 
jake3988 [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 01:34:04 AM  
RightWingWacko 2009-12-01 01:29:43 AM My Dad was a Locomotive Enginner. He tells me that a he has hit cars and had cars run right into the side of the train and no one even noticed until someone radioed the crew to tell them about car hanging out the side of the train. He said they had gone well over a mile before with the automobile stuck between two train cars. Remarkably, the driver (drunk of course) survived with no injuries.
=================================================

Usually when there's a 'crash' and then death it's 99% of the time the people in the car. Or people standing on the tracks.

Only when two trains hit (which is very rare) are there ever any fatalies.

 
SuperCatBarf [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 01:36:38 AM  
HiFiGuy: Githerax: How did the car become abandoned? I can't believe all the employees just walked off the job, leaving it derelict, disappearing into the American countryside...

/shrugs

It's unclear, but I think the car was an automobile, not a railcar.


Good point, I just assumed it was a railcar as well...probably because of the headline's reference to whiplash. Subby needs to watch more train vs. automobile videos on the internet.

 
relcec [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 01:38:58 AM  
48 people on the train? Beginning to understand why Amtrak needs a couple billion every couple of years.

 
heypete 2009-12-01 01:38:58 AM  
HiFiGuy: It's unclear, but I think the car was an automobile, not a railcar.

I think you missed the point.

/reference was subtle

 
pottie 2009-12-01 01:39:40 AM  
Ha! They don't bury survivors...is that the right answer?

 
TinaSumthing 2009-12-01 01:41:30 AM  
Githerax: How did the car become abandoned? I can't believe all the employees just walked off the job, leaving it derelict, disappearing into the American countryside...

/shrugs


I came here to stay this

 
EL_FABREZ 2009-12-01 01:43:10 AM  
Boston to Portland by 8:25 and going only 60 mph? I don't know how to answer that without dividing by zero.

 
Britney Spear's Speculum [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 01:43:11 AM  
The car's owner needs a cock punch.

 
Bomb Head Mohammed 2009-12-01 01:43:27 AM  
<b><a target="_blank" href="http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4810538&IDComment=56315618#c563 15618">pippi longstocking</a>:</b> <i>Is it me or does anyone else think most of Amtrak's problems could be solved by putting GPS devices on each cart and have the information being relayed to every conductor?</i>

Although at present this is a very naive idea that even the most basic of back of the envelope financial calculations would show to be unworkable on a national level, don't worry - should it ever come to fruition, the filers of Patent EP1723021 will be sure to handsomely reap the rewards of effectively finding a new place to use a GPS. Pretty disgraceful that patents are issues for such non-inventions.

 
Gilligann [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 01:47:46 AM  
This is scary! I was on that same route only 5 years ago. That could have easily been me on that train.

 
Gyrfalcon 2009-12-01 01:48:21 AM  
Were there any microbiologists or Russian defectors on the train? Also, how large was the crater that was not made by explosives?

 
mxwjs 2009-12-01 02:15:05 AM  
no one, they were standing on a block of ice.

 
humanshrapnel 2009-12-01 02:22:50 AM  
JonnyBGoode: THAT'S A FARGIN' TRICK QUESTION!


Came in to make sure someone dropped that off.

+1

 
King Something 2009-12-01 02:44:22 AM  
Adolf Hitler, because The Call Of Cthulhu hadn't been written yet and two Pairs of Sevens beats Jacks Over Eights.

 
gregscott [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 03:06:51 AM  
zilch365: Depending on the lawyers, between 60 and 100.

I vote for zilch365's answer. This thread should have been vote enabled.

 
The WindowLicker 2009-12-01 03:22:18 AM  
None because amtrack does not go north of boston for most trips.

 
earfullosap 2009-12-01 04:18:16 AM  
Scary - I was on that same train at 1:00 today.

 
Mimic_Octopus 2009-12-01 04:34:15 AM  
mxwjs: no one, they were standing on a block of ice.

The ER doctor was his mother you sexist !!

 
silduk 2009-12-01 04:59:35 AM  
You guys all crack me up.

 
DarthBart 2009-12-01 06:14:47 AM  
earfullosap: Scary - I was on that same train at 1:00 today.

I was parking my car a few miles from railroad tracks at that time! You never know when a train can jump the tracks and come crash right into you!

 
iBette 2009-12-01 06:30:16 AM  
Is it easier to get to Boston or by bus?

 
belowner 2009-12-01 06:37:58 AM  
Bomb Head Mohammed: <b><a target="_blank" href="http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4810538&IDComment=56315618#c563 15618">pippi longstocking</a>:</b> <i>Is it me or does anyone else think most of Amtrak's problems could be solved by putting GPS devices on each cart and have the information being relayed to every conductor?</i>

Although at present this is a very naive idea that even the most basic of back of the envelope financial calculations would show to be unworkable on a national level, don't worry - should it ever come to fruition, the filers of Patent EP1723021 will be sure to handsomely reap the rewards of effectively finding a new place to use a GPS. Pretty disgraceful that patents are issues for such non-inventions.


Horseshiat. There are hundreds of patents for "train control systems". I ride Amtrak every day, and it frequently gets stuck behind a commuter train that, wait for it, uses GPS to update the status of each train on a web page.

Amtrak doesn't even have to implement a train control system. If they'd just implement a GPS notification system for the public they'd be light years ahead of where they are now. As a member of the general public, you'd have an easier time finding out where someone's cell phone is as opposed to tracking down where an Amtrak train is.

I suspect they want it that way, because it makes it harder to tell when a train is running late. On my train, that's about 60-70% of the time for the evening train.

 
Porous Horace 2009-12-01 07:38:19 AM  
Came for Moronie, left satisfied.

/bastages

 
MrCheeks 2009-12-01 07:43:33 AM  
I took a train last week to Iowa so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

 
Another Government Employee 2009-12-01 07:51:42 AM  
zilch365: Depending on the lawyers, between 60 and 100.

Would that be Plaintiffs or Respondents?

 
ralphyboy 2009-12-01 08:08:55 AM  
Yippee! Right at the end of my street!
This asshat couldn't figure out the difference between a road and train tracks. Here's a protip: train tracks have two metal rails running down the middle.
Every so often, a cotton top runs the train gates at this intersection and ends up a hood ornament on the MBTA train.
/watched some guy run the gate last weekend, same area.
//hoped for the train to be a little quicker for some excitement
///no such luck!

 
BalugaJoe [TotalFark] 2009-12-01 08:22:26 AM  
Why do we keep funding Amtrak?

 
pjbreeze 2009-12-01 08:26:24 AM  
I think that is a question that would be best answered by a lawyer.

 
Savage Belief 2009-12-01 08:28:04 AM  
Were they African or European swallows?

 
szyska 2009-12-01 08:28:52 AM  
So my home town makes Fark... at least it wasn't for anything that bad.

 
Plant Rights Activist 2009-12-01 08:38:12 AM  
Whiplash lawsuits? Just one

gamedesignconcepts.files.wordpress.com

 
Velveeta_Poindexter 2009-12-01 08:39:00 AM  
Stories like this don't help the push to create a reliable, nationwide high speed rail system. Which we desperately need.

Way to go, morans.

 
reillan 2009-12-01 08:39:55 AM  
I'm currently riding on an Amtrak train, so I'm getting a kick...

 
PunGent 2009-12-01 08:48:04 AM  
"Why do we keep funding Amtrak?"

Why don't people demand that the highway system make a profit?

Maybe because it's infrastructure?

If we spent on Amtrak what we spend on roads, we'd all be riding private locomotives to work...which would be awesome.

 
soopey 2009-12-01 08:54:47 AM  
I saw the left overs of this when I got out of work last night. I agree with what ralphyboy said. People run through the railroad gates all the time. These asshat kids mistook a railroad bed for a road. Got stuck and got out of the car to get help. They tried to call police, but some asshat at the garage across the street wouldn't let them use the phone.

Better article:
Link (new window)

There is a road that runs parallel to the train tracks
Google Maps of the intersection (new window)

Kids were probably stoned and took a wrong turn to get more weed.

 
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