I guess the good thing here is that the only person attacked by this dog was its idiot owner. And if you're such an inept owner that your own dog attacks you, it's pretty damn unlikely that you'll be able to control it from attacking other people or animals. It's sad that the dog had to die because of the guy's ineptitude, though. It would have been nice if he'd been mauled a little more seriously than he apparently was. Maybe lost a finger or hand or something, just to remind him in the future about the cost of being a moron.

A 120lb pit bull?

We got one of them stories in the UK just now too

/Debbie Downer.

FTFA: After hours of trying to capture him, police entered the home and used a taser gun to stun the dog, which did not phase the animal, according to police.

So, I guess the dog remained incoherent.

RoxtarRyan: A 120lb pit bull?

What the hell is that thing?

It was a Rottie pit bull mutt. I'm guessing the pit bull temperment won out. This is why this breed of dogs needs to be destroyed. The only good pit bull is a dead pit bull.

FTA: The police then went back into the home and found Jesus had broken through the door of the room and was still acting aggressively.

Somebody wet themselves giggling while writing that sentence.

Its okay, he'll be back up in a few days

I'm sure he'll forgive them.

/drtfa

/ Recycled from Photoshop thread
// Don't know whose it is

♪ Don't go back to Rockville
Don't go back to Rockville
Don't go back to Rockville
And waste another dog ♫

IdBeCrazyIf: Its okay, he'll be back up in a few days


Win! ;)

used a taser gun to stun the dog, which did not phase the animal, according to police.

Phase? Really?

FTA "..which did not phase the animal.."

Phase?

These were tasers, not molecular confinement beams.

/faze
//yes, I'm angry.

A burglar breaks in to a house. He's creeping around in the dark when he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you". This shakes the burglar a bit but he keeps going. "Jesus is watching you" says the voice again.

The burglar takes out a flashlight and shines it around. He sees a parrot in a cage. The parrot squawk and says one more time "Jesus is watching you." The burglar laughs and says "Should I be scared, parrot?"

"Yes" replies the parrot.

"And why should I be scared if Jesus is watching me" asks the burglar defiantly.

"Because Jesus is the rottweiler."

/Try the veal. It was just going be a steak later.

The man said he had been trying to close his bedroom door to keep Jesus the dog out when it became agitated and attacked him.

Sounds like the guy slammed a door on a 120-pound Rottweiler/Pit Bull.

The owner was then taken to Suburban Hospital in Bethesda, where he later underwent surgery.

Hopefully some kind of brain surgery and/or sterilization.

Also... the police shot the dog because they were unable to find some tranquilizers...for 6 hours? But hey, a taserin' is a good substitute for pretty much anything right? And if that doesn't work you can always just shoot it in the head.

/Just to be on the safe side, they should probably put a massive rock over whatever hole they bury this Jesus in
//Just for a few days

To their credit, it sounds as if the police did everything they possibly could to avoid killing the dog.

After hours of trying to capture him, police entered the home and used a taser gun to stun the dog, which did not phase the animal, according to police.

Then, Ensign Ricky used a phaser gun to stun the dog, which did not tase the animal. Ensign Ricky was then killed.

Good farking riddance.
Now to get rid of all the other idiot dog owners.

This is yet another reason some folks should not have pets/animals. It's the owners fault. Some dogs require responsible trainers/owners. A pit bull/rottweiler mix isn't a dog that should be owned by an idiot.

So the War on Christmas is real then?

Were the police Jewish 'cos that'd be really awkward?

/WWJD.

Inihilus: FTA "..which did not phase the animal.."

Phase?

These were tasers, not molecular confinement beams.

/faze
//yes, I'm angry.

Clearly this was some terrible clerical error. Somewhere out there, a Star Trek convention has a package meant for the Rockville PD's high-tech new animal control program.

Hopefully this won't affect the campaign to allow keeping chickens as pets in Rockville.

/you should watch our Mayor and City Council meetings
//civility fails
///Roxy FTW!

This is the sorta problem you get when you feed a dog nothing but bread and fish too.

I had a friend who was dyslexic and was always up late wondering if there was a dog or not.


I guess this proves there is one.

But they did not shoot the disciple.

Came for the R.E.M. reference, left satisfied.

TheYeti: To their credit, it sounds as if the police did everything they possibly could to avoid killing the dog.

Yeah, like tease it, taser it, hassle it, then BLAM! Did they consider nailing it thru the paws?

So Jesus was a Rottweiler/Pit Bull?

You could say that Jesus was the Son of Dog.

Rockville is pretty much hell.

groverpm:

/WWJD.

Bite?

Slaves2Darkness: What the hell is that thing?

If memory serves, it's a whippet with some disorder that made it grow extra muscles on top of the standard ones. I think her name's Wendy.

Q: Why do dogs lick their own balls?

A: Because he's the lord of the universe, that's why.

They should have called the PG county police, they will plant drugs at your doorstep and shoot your dogs as they run away. Would have been over a lot faster that way IMHO.

Good thing he is immortal.

The man said he had been trying to close his bedroom door to keep Jesus the dog out when it became agitated and attacked him.

Have you let Jesus into your life?

Whodat?: Rockville is pretty much hell.

I like Rockville. At least the town center. Gordon Biersche has the best beers around.

/lives in Rockville Town Center
//likes beer

He'll be back on Tuesday. Book it. Done.

Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shiat with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the farking trigger 'til it goes "click." Don't fark with the Jesus.

Nobody farks with the Jesus!

BWillyBeast: Yeah, like tease it, taser it, hassle it, then BLAM! Did they consider nailing it thru the paws?

Would have had to stab it through the ribs to finally finish it off.

Ah, give it a few days and he'll be right as rain.

WTF is this? (seen in an ad on TFA's page)



Some bizarre Neanderthal hybrid homeowner?

/hot like make fire

Pocket Ninja: And if you're such an inept owner that your own dog attacks you, it's pretty damn unlikely that you'll be able to control it from attacking other people or animals.

This. It was only a matter of time before the pooch attacked some unsuspecting bystander. The first Rotti we ever owned went nuts like this and it was completely our fault. My asshole brother LOVED to taunt him when he was a puppy and was just a general all around douche bag. Still is.

Carrying a piece of furniture one day Bear decided this would be a good time to even things out and clamped onto my brothers arm for about 10 minutes. Finally got him off via a full baked ham, but it was never the same. My parents gave Bear one more chance and he was fine for awhile. One day he tried to attack my brother again and when I got home from school Bear was gone.

Not that I blamed the poor thing, because my brother really is a farking scumbag. We've owned 5 other Rottis and a Mastiff since then, all dead from old age because we became better informed and smarter owners.

Whodat?: Rockville is pretty much hell.

If you think Rockville's hell, how do you even survive leaving the house?

groverpm: Were the police Jewish 'cos that'd be really awkward?

/WWJD.

Italian.

pit bulls should be extirpated.

Owning a dog like that is just one step short of having a pet bear. Sure, they're highly intelligent and trainable, but they're natural predators and they're so strong that it doesn't take them long to do a whole bunch of damage if that's what they decide they want to do. Not for me. Yours comes near me, I'll send Animal Control to pick it up.

thamike: Whodat?: Rockville is pretty much hell.

If you think Rockville's hell, how do you even survive leaving the house?

Not everyone has the same understanding of hell.