y so bitter subs?

Hail Mary, and Touchdown Jesus toe-tap the sideline for a game winning score on your ass, non-believer.

I don't care if it rains or freezes,
long as I got my touchdown Jesus
scoring in the endzone oh so far

He can throw 90 miles an hour
heaving the ball with mighty power
scoring in the endzone oh so far.

Hail Mary.

Football is a religion, right ?

Church finds success using football to bring people to God, because football is real and can change people's lives

Football has always brought people closer to God. Last Raiders game I attended, everybody was yelling "Jesus Christ!" and "Oh my God!" before inevitably praying for miracles.

At least football's more real than God.

IT'S GOOD!

Britney Spear's Speculum: IT'S GOOD!

the field goal, not religion

ftfm

blah blah flying spaghetti monster balah...

/whatever

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Nothing like fooling or hypnotizing people into a life changing experence.

The sad part is that not everyone notices the deceptive practices that the church uses to blackmail money from people. What's worse is that most that do see it either think that it's morally sound or they encourage it because they're the one profiting from it.

"A tailgate party, including sandwiches, hot dogs and chips, followed the music-filled service."

PSHAW, BOOO!!!

No beer! and if it was a real tailgate like they have out in the Meadowlands, every other slickback hair greaseball dude would be like "hey baby show me your tits". And then, they might even get all gropy and rapey if the women didn't comply to their noble requests.

You have to keep it real pastor-dude, for authenticity sake.

Pope Michael of Discordia: Nothing like fooling or hypnotizing people into a life changing experence.

There's nothing like eating hay when you're faint.

Always knew football was a religion.

Exercise saves more lives than all the prayer in the world.

I'm trying to tie the passion play into football, but I just can't. I. Just. Can't.

You haven't lived until you have put a spin move on a guy 50 pounds heavier and 6 inches taller than you in the open field. It is simply a moving experience and, yes, when you see said big-assed farker barrelling down on you, you do pray to God.

Time for a Cool Story, Bro.


I used to run a convenience store back in my home town. I had a regular customer who would constantly come in and talk about God, church, how thankful he is for this or that. Then I found out more about him, that he has an extremely violent past, and is on heroin.

When I told him I didn't believe in any religion he acted as though he was immediately better than me. I could see his eyes light up when he thought he found someone that was "worse" than him.

/There's no hate like Christian hate
//I love that meme, thanks Christians.

There is no hope for the New Hope Cheerleaders.

Works for me, praise jesus!

LavenderWolf: Time for a Cool Story, Bro.


I used to run a convenience store back in my home town. I had a regular customer who would constantly come in and talk about God, church, how thankful he is for this or that. Then I found out more about him, that he has an extremely violent past, and is on heroin.

When I told him I didn't believe in any religion he acted as though he was immediately better than me. I could see his eyes light up when he thought he found someone that was "worse" than him.

/There's no hate like Christian hate
//I love that meme, thanks Christians.

I had a neighbor at one time who was just like the customer you described. When he found out (or realized, duh!) that my lifestyle was not the same as his, he pulled out all his righteous guns and aimed them right at me. It was hell on earth, not only for me, but for the other residences and their friends who came to call. The crap that guy pulled to to call attention to me can only be described as christer insane. Once he actually drew a cross on my door in 'blood', though I'm sure it was only tempera paint. After a couple of other destructive acts, he was asked to leave. I and most of the other residents ended up moving before the landlord could get rid of him.

Do you guys know how hard it is to evict a nut, especially when he has a church behind him? Nearly impossible. For all I know, after all these years, he is still living in the same dark and dank basement apartment.

You are so right, there's no hate like christian hate, and they are like pit bulls: they never let go.

Touchdown Jesus?



Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Notre Dame.

Words and music by Paul Craft


REFRAIN

[C] Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal-[G7] posts of life
End over end, neither left nor to [C] right
Straight through the heart of them [C7] righteous up-[F] rights
Dropkick me, [C] Jesus, through the goal-[G7] posts of [C] life.


[C] Make me, Oh make me, Lord, more [G7] than I am
Make me a piece in Your master game [C] plan
Free from the earthly team-[C7] pestion be-[F] low
I've got the will, [C] Lord, if You [G7] got the [C] toe.

When I was a kid the Lions were playing in the NFL Championship game (yeah, I'm old, get off my lawn...) and during the sermon the priest announced the score of the game. My mother was horrified that the priest was keeping track of the game during mass. The men were appreciative because they got dragged to Sunday mass during the game.

Jamieboy: LavenderWolf: Time for a Cool Story, Bro.


I used to run a convenience store back in my home town. I had a regular customer who would constantly come in and talk about God, church, how thankful he is for this or that. Then I found out more about him, that he has an extremely violent past, and is on heroin.

When I told him I didn't believe in any religion he acted as though he was immediately better than me. I could see his eyes light up when he thought he found someone that was "worse" than him.

/There's no hate like Christian hate
//I love that meme, thanks Christians.

I had a neighbor at one time who was just like the customer you described. When he found out (or realized, duh!) that my lifestyle was not the same as his, he pulled out all his righteous guns and aimed them right at me. It was hell on earth, not only for me, but for the other residences and their friends who came to call. The crap that guy pulled to to call attention to me can only be described as christer insane. Once he actually drew a cross on my door in 'blood', though I'm sure it was only tempera paint. After a couple of other destructive acts, he was asked to leave. I and most of the other residents ended up moving before the landlord could get rid of him.

Do you guys know how hard it is to evict a nut, especially when he has a church behind him? Nearly impossible. For all I know, after all these years, he is still living in the same dark and dank basement apartment.

You are so right, there's no hate like christian hate, and they are like pit bulls: they never let go.

You're pretty good with words.

/I try to compliment at least one person per day
//It makes up for the 50,000 or so that get offended per day

abb3w: Pope Michael of Discordia: Nothing like fooling or hypnotizing people into a life changing experence.

There's nothing like eating hay when you're faint.

CLICKY POP. THE BUTTON IS RIGHT THERE.

Not one picture of Al Bundy? You're all letting me down...

Just to add some reality to this thread :

There ain't no hatin' like a homo hatin'

// Seriously. Get over it. Christianity is never going to make practicing queer-dom a sacrament. Based on the theology, it can't be done. Why does that seem to bother so many flamboyant types? It isn't like the Christians hate you. The gay act is simply verboten to Christians. You do what you want.

Hey, I'm not real big on football, but it's a lot more real than the invisible sky wizard. I've never met him, but I've seen Joe Montana's autograph. Try getting god to do that.

BritneySpearsSpeculum

Hey, give it up for Butter Jesus!
Seriously, that monstrosity if near my dipshiat brother-in-law's house in Ohio. Nothing screams sanctimony like a 50 ft. plaster Jeebus rising out of a man-made lake.

/i hate Ohio
//freakin' WalMart's every 10 ft

It doesn't matter which team won the game,
THE WINNER IS FOOTBALL!

LavenderWolf 2009-11-30 04:46:57 AM

Time for a Cool Story, Bro.


I used to run a convenience store back in my home town. I had a regular customer who would constantly come in and talk about God, church, how thankful he is for this or that. Then I found out more about him, that he has an extremely violent past, and is on heroin.

When I told him I didn't believe in any religion he acted as though he was immediately better than me. I could see his eyes light up when he thought he found someone that was "worse" than him.

/There's no hate like Christian hate
//I love that meme, thanks Christians.

I hate hate!

Sure, why not? My old monsignor used to be a big draw at his noon mass because all the menfolk knew he'd do an express homily and wrap things up in time for everybody to get back home for the game.

Hay-uv yew ake-sep-tayd jayzzzus kee-rahst ays yore LAWD an' say-vee-or?

Yee and Haw.

I played for a Division III school in college, and my coach left after my junior year (we were 24-6 in three seasons). Spring before senior year, I went to the new coach and told him I was having some problems with depression and couldn't stay focused on school (the former coach had talked with me a bit and helped me through a couple of rough patches).

He had me wait for a minute, then came back with a copy of "God's Game Plan: The Athlete's Bible" from the FCA. He told me that it had all the answers, and that it would guide me.

I quit the team that summer; he ran a good program into the ground and failed to record a winning season in four tries.

/Cool
//Story
///Brofus

Not one grey cup thread? Wtf?

Sweet, another Christianity hate thread. THESE don't get old.

I've always assumed all football fans were Christians.

Sweet, another Christianity hate thread. THESE don't get old.

No. No they don't.

Indolent: Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

You arse. Now that stupid song is in my head!

And to whoever posted the Tebow pic: fark you right in the butt.

/RTR

Your Holy Tackler wants a Swine-flu Skin

Gulper Eel: Sure, why not? My old monsignor used to be a big draw at his noon mass because all the menfolk knew he'd do an express homily and wrap things up in time for everybody to get back home for the game.

Back when I went to church I remember our priest having a "golfer's special" service at 0730. He would get you in and out by 0800 so you wouldn't miss your tee time.

I'm amazed the link didn't say al.com.

Change their lives for the worse, that is.

Gulper Eel: Sure, why not? My old monsignor used to be a big draw at his noon mass because all the menfolk knew he'd do an express homily and wrap things up in time for everybody to get back home for the game.

Growing up while at mass there were times where I could be literally screaming in my head

"Okay enough with the jesus aerobics, get the farking peace be with us and you out here"

I met my girlfriend in church, and she's getting me into football, so you could say that God brought me to football.

Inevitable.
The retarded are amalgamating.