I would believe him if he was cooperating with police in the investigation... but it's all super fishy. I think he's lying. In fact, I KNOW he's lying.

He just doesn't want to be the next Rihanna... hahah. I know that's not funny.. but seriously.. it's funny.

I have a real hard time believing substances of some kind weren't involved.

False outrage. Hey Tiger, why don't you refuse to give a police report about it, and then be surprised when we connect the dots.

Hey is that the Palin defense? Are we attacking his family?

I think it's interesting that through all this and despite the wall-to-wall media coverage, Tiger Woods has never once produced a birth certificate proving that he was born in America.

Shut up Woods, you racist cock.

I'm having a real hard time caring about this. Who cares what he was on? He could have been huffing Jenkem and it would be irrelevant.

Ok, maybe Jenkem would be pretty relevant, but really, let him live his life.

Clearly the man needs a better driver.

You can't refuse to explain what happened and expect people not to speculate.

I know the cops were totally cool with me when they caught me holding a golf club over my wife while she was bleeding in the street.

40below: Tiger Woods has never once produced a birth certificate proving that he was born in America

I'm more interested in his whereabouts in 1990.

40below: I think it's interesting that through all this and despite the wall-to-wall media coverage, Tiger Woods has never once produced a birth certificate proving that he was born in America.

Full of win.

Guess what false outragers. It's really none of your business. Tell me how anything to do with Tiger Woods has any impact on your life. He chases a pimply ball around a lawn, and gets a check when he does that a little better that the other pimply ball chasers.

It was like all the phony outrage with David Letterman. No one really cares. In the end, it just bumped up Letterman's street cred.

Here's the youtube of the 911 phone call...

Dude said he was unconscious after the crash. That means probable concussion, which could mess up his golf game. I'm sure the oddsmakers have taken note...

skinink: Although it bothers me that the police are treating him with kid gloves.

Unless there's alcohol involved, which the cops say there isn't...how should the cops be treating him?

If everyone's internet theories are correct, he's the one who was assaulted. Why should the cops be grilling him? If he doesn't want to talk, so be it.

rka: skinink: Although it bothers me that the police are treating him with kid gloves.

Unless there's alcohol involved, which the cops say there isn't...how should the cops be treating him?

If everyone's internet theories are correct, he's the one who was assaulted. Why should the cops be grilling him? If he doesn't want to talk, so be it.



I hope he has an ironclad pre-nup or he's about to get cleaned out.

Dammit, Tiger. Didn't your pops ever tell you to leave those white women alone?

The only thing I was concern about when I first heard of the accident was if he was alright.

And since he is, then everything else is crap.

rka: If everyone's internet theories are correct, he's the one who was assaulted. Why should the cops be grilling him? If he doesn't want to talk, so be it.

Because he wants to hide his injuries that he might have sustained at the hands of his wife.

And if that's true, along with no evidence he was injured in his vehicle, it's probable it would be called domestic violence against his wife.

When is the last time you broke the back window to gain access to the driver of a vehicle?

IrateShadow: I have a real hard time believing substances of some kind weren't involved.

I'm guessing some sort of tea

/schrooms to be exact
////

Goodfella: I hope he has an ironclad pre-nup or he's about to get cleaned out.

So he loses half of a billion. Still has half a billion...and he can go win a few tourney's and start making it back. I would think serious charges of infidelity would hurt at least his short term endorsement potential, wouldn't last long though. He'd be back raking in 40-60 million a year from Nike, Gillette, car companies in no time.

Personally, no matter what the truth is...I think that both Tiger an his wife will clam up, put on a happy face, and pretend that everything is hunky-dory.

Today, we learned that Tiger is more afraid of not be able to tap Elin than of the Florida Highway Patrol.

Honestly, this shiat pisses me off. I don't care how famous you are, you shouldn't be allowed to decline to be interviewed by police three times just because you're famous and don't feel like talking. What a farking asswipe. I've always had this "dickhead" vibe about Woods, guess this just confirms it.

LessO2: Because he wants to hide his injuries that he might have sustained at the hands of his wife.

And if that's true, along with no evidence he was injured in his vehicle, it's probable it would be called domestic violence against his wife.

Sure, but if the cops believe that, he's still the victim and there is no reason to treat him any different then they are now. Nor is there any way to compel him to act any different.

This isn't Law and Order where SVU is going to throw Tiger in jail in order to pressure him to give up his wife to an abuse charge. It wouldn't happen to you, me or any other normal schlub and it definitely won't happen to Tiger.

It's a fair point. None of our business.

I only care about him on the golf course, not off.

rka: LessO2: Because he wants to hide his injuries that he might have sustained at the hands of his wife.

And if that's true, along with no evidence he was injured in his vehicle, it's probable it would be called domestic violence against his wife.

Sure, but if the cops believe that, he's still the victim and there is no reason to treat him any different then they are now. Nor is there any way to compel him to act any different.

This isn't Law and Order where SVU is going to throw Tiger in jail in order to pressure him to give up his wife to an abuse charge. It wouldn't happen to you, me or any other normal schlub and it definitely won't happen to Tiger.

Not sure if Florida is one, but many states have a provision in their domestic violence statutes that mandate SOMEBODY goes to jail if the officer on scene determines that a domestic violence incident has occurred. She's pissed off enough - you wanna be in the car for the ride home after he has to bail her out of jail?

McManus_brothers: Honestly, this shiat pisses me off. I don't care how famous you are, you shouldn't be allowed to decline to be interviewed by police three times just because you're famous and don't feel like talking. What a farking asswipe. I've always had this "dickhead" vibe about Woods, guess this just confirms it.

Why not?

What crime has Tiger committed or is even being accused of committing? Why should he be compelled to tell them anything if he's not suspected of a crime?

If they want to haul his wife in, they have to charge her with something. And the only way they are going to get probable cause is Tiger's statement...and its obvious they are not going to get that.

This happens all the time. Famous or not.

Schmee: Not sure if Florida is one, but many states have a provision in their domestic violence statutes that mandate SOMEBODY goes to jail if the officer on scene determines that a domestic violence incident has occurred.

Fine. Did the officer on the scene make that determination? No? Then no one needs to talk to the cops.

Charge someone or STFU is what I'd say.

1) If you don't talk to the cops, you don't have to be worried about charges of false statement to authority.

2) In order not to be harassed by The Man, you have to be Tiger. Sorry, Professor Guy. Win a Major next time.

Kids, don't fark guidette cum dumpsters or this could happen to YOU!
-Tiger

"The many false, unfounded and malicious rumours that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible."

Those are the best kind!

/I seriously doubt Tiger wrote "rumours".

Hilary T. N. Seuss: "The many false, unfounded and malicious rumours that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible."

Those are the best kind!

/I seriously doubt Tiger wrote "rumours".

IT'S NOT A RUMAH!

He's cheating on his wife with a black guy.

Welcome to life as a big time celebrity?

Stop dodging the cops and give them the "real" story
or
accept the BS media rumors...

I was kind of supporting him until now. Come on man, this wasn't some 80mph deadly crash on the highway where you need to get pried out by the jaws of death. You don't bash the windshield in with a golf club to get someone out after a fender bender. It's kind of silly to expect people to believe that. He just went from being a victim to a liar.

McManus_brothers Quote 2009-11-29 06:34:12 PM
Honestly, this shiat pisses me off. I don't care how famous you are, you shouldn't be allowed to decline to be interviewed by police three times just because you're famous and don't feel like talking.

THIS
if it were you or me, we'd be grilled until some answer were given

She clocked him when she found out he lost $500 million in Dubai.

BoobieFarker: THIS
if it were you or me, we'd be grilled until some answer were given

Nor do you get much sympathy if your name winds up in the police blotter.

The guy has NEVER claimed to be some sort of politico-family-values-look-at-me-look-at-me-I'm-beyond-reproach so why are people so incredibly quick to eviscerate him?

Oh yeah, because you can't stand somebody who worked HARD their ENTIRE lives to be successful. You equate him to the Hiltons and Kardashians despite the fact that he totally deserves his success, no matter how overblown it is by blowhard journalism.

Dude has an issue losing to someone like Vijay Singh. Do you think he's going to own up to accepting a beat-down from a woman?

Golfing fans would like to respond:

Tiger, please PYDA (put your dick away) and GBTW.

homeschooled: I would believe him if he was cooperating with police in the investigation... but it's all super fishy. I think he's lying. In fact, I KNOW he's lying.

He just doesn't want to be the next Rihanna... hahah. I know that's not funny.. but seriously.. it's funny.

More seriously, and free legal advice, neither he nor you are under any duty ever to cooperate with any police investigation, and as Martha Stewart would tell you, it's always a bad idea unless you are absolutely positively a bystanding witness to whatever the police are investigating.

You do have the right to remain silent and you should. tiger's getting good legal advice, and neither one of them will ever talk unless the victim here (whoever that is) decides they want a divorce.

Watch this. (new window)

McManus_brothers: Honestly, this shiat pisses me off. I don't care how famous you are, you shouldn't be allowed to decline to be interviewed by police three times just because you're famous and don't feel like talking. What a farking asswipe. I've always had this "dickhead" vibe about Woods, guess this just confirms it.

Actually pressuring Tiger is pointless. Since it would be either himself or his spouse he'd be ratting out he can legally sit there and say "No comment/I'll take the 5th/No Comment/I'll take the fifth". The fuzz can hold him for a time as a person interest or whatever the local rules on that are, but in the end he walks.

Any of us would be treated the same way, assuming the local police and DA are smart. They would know we can legally clam up and tossing us in jail/pressuring us would basically make us hostile and ensure we never said a word. It's much better from a law enforcement standpoint to coax any potential witness to be willing.

Martha Stewart went to club fed for making false statements to investigating officials, not for insider trading. It appears that the trade she made actually wasn't illegal (although she clearly thought it was, which is funny, because in a former life she was a stockbroker so you would think she had a clue).

She in effect went to jail for lying about an act that itself wasn't illegal. If she had just refused to talk, she would have walked.

Wee Todd: The guy has NEVER claimed to be some sort of politico-family-values-look-at-me-look-at-me-I'm-beyond-reproach so why are people so incredibly quick to eviscerate him?

Oh yeah, because you can't stand somebody who worked HARD their ENTIRE lives to be successful. You equate him to the Hiltons and Kardashians despite the fact that he totally deserves his success, no matter how overblown it is by blowhard journalism.

Get that common sense and rational thought out of my Fark!

Harry_Seldon: 40below: I think it's interesting that through all this and despite the wall-to-wall media coverage, Tiger Woods has never once produced a birth certificate proving that he was born in America.

Full of win.

Guess what false outragers. It's really none of your business. Tell me how anything to do with Tiger Woods has any impact on your life. He chases a pimply ball around a lawn, and gets a check when he does that a little better that the other pimply ball chasers.

It was like all the phony outrage with David Letterman. No one really cares. In the end, it just bumped up Letterman's street cred.

I don't think that it is quite so simple.

When you sign $100 million endorsement deals it is EXACTLY because you are a public person. Don't want the attention that comes with that? Don't put yourself out there to make money, either. If nobody cares about your life, you don't make that money.

It is a package deal.

Here's the true story (probably):

Tiger and his wife got into an argument. She attacked him with a golf club. He decided that it was best to get the hell out of Dodge, but managed to run into a fire hydrant and a tree.

The cops want him to tell them his wife assaulted him. He doesn't want to because a) the potential embarrassment; or b) he wants to save his marriage.

The bottom line is that he cannot be compelled to testify against his wife. Legally this will blow over as long as he and his wife keep their mouths shut.

It's an episode of COPS.

Fark Tiger and fark his wife. I hope his farking kids go wanting.


/To be fair, I've been drinking
//All afternoon...