Beatings. With a hose.

"You'll feel a lot better if you get of your fat ass and walk a bit more"

Makes sense.

I have been going greener lately, bringing my own bags to shop, walking more to the corner store,not drinking bottled water, and eating less meat but this is dumb.

I think a warmer planet would make me feel better actually.

whatshisname: "You'll feel a lot better if you get of your fat ass and walk a bit more"

Makes sense.

It's kept me fairly skinny despite my ramen infused diet this semester

I'll just go green and remove my own spleen. It'll save the planet from all those chemicals they'd pump me with during surgery.

"The Council believes that climate change "threatens to radically undermine the health of all peoples"."

/is that a threat?

This makes a lot of sense. Double use of resources.

stickintehmud: I'll just go green and remove my own spleen. It'll save the planet from all those chemicals they'd pump me with during surgery.

Just make sure to compost the spleen properly afterwards.

Just like Fark has sponsorship from USA Today, was that article sponsored by the Onion?

whatshisname: "You'll feel a lot better if you get of your fat ass and walk a bit more"

Makes sense.

but the more you exert yourself the harder you breathe. That is just producing more CO2. Best bet is to sit perfectly still and try to exhale once every five minutes.

Read the f'ing article.

Asinine. Correct.

FTFA:The Council has been recently formed to study the health benefits of tackling climate change and promotes a range of ideas from reducing your carbon footprint by driving less and walking more to eating local, less processed food.

So, eat less fast food and work out more. Seems like reasonable advice to me.

/fast food should only be an occasional thing
//exercise should be a frequent thing
///try not to get the two confused

nicksteel: whatshisname: "You'll feel a lot better if you get of your fat ass and walk a bit more"

Makes sense.

but the more you exert yourself the harder you breathe. That is just producing more CO2. Best bet is to sit perfectly still and try to exhale once every five minutes.

When I get home from work I sit in my chair and shallow breathe until bedtime. I'm making tomorrow cooler with my actions today.

I refuse to stop farting. It just relieves so much pressure back pressure. Alot better than burping.

When I'd been recovering from surgery to correct an intestinal problem, I'd had to keep reminding my dietitian to stay firmly on topic. There were a lot of foods that I simply couldn't eat because of my condition(s), and I needed to figure out a sane, balanced diet.

Cholesterol is fairly important, but a nice-to-have all the same. I didn't need her muddying the waters with information that wasn't immediately relevant to my situation.

I have fifteen minutes at a time with my doctor, and if I make an appointment at all, I'm there to address a specific, immediate concern that isn't climate change.

They believe that offering patients advice on how to lower their carbon footprint can be just as easy and achievable as helping them to stop smoking or eat a healthier diet.

"Ah, but advice is free, Alexander. Making use of it costs... much more."

sybby: This makes a lot of sense. Double use of resources.

It would make more sense if your doctor would simply rotate your tires while you're there.

Patient: "It hurts when I do this"

Doctor: "Then quit doing it"

MooseUpNorth: When I'd been recovering from surgery to correct an intestinal problem, I'd had to keep reminding my dietitian to stay firmly on topic. There were a lot of foods that I simply couldn't eat because of my condition(s), and I needed to figure out a sane, balanced diet.

Cholesterol is fairly important, but a nice-to-have all the same. I didn't need her muddying the waters with information that wasn't immediately relevant to my situation.

I have fifteen minutes at a time with my doctor, and if I make an appointment at all, I'm there to address a specific, immediate concern that isn't climate change.

Well - You're just selfish! What about the children?

"Here, take this green pill"

Tachikoma: FTFA:The Council has been recently formed to study the health benefits of tackling climate change and promotes a range of ideas from reducing your carbon footprint by driving less and walking more to eating local, less processed food.

So, eat less fast food and work out more. Seems like reasonable advice to me.

/fast food should only be an occasional thing
//exercise should be a frequent thing
///try not to get the two confused

// thats gonna go over like a lead zepplin in America...
Yet, this is what King Obama chose to bring back from England to share with us.
eat less indeed!

I have to tell the Internets right away!

Obama Care means eat less!
4 legs good
two legs bad
no legs evil

This will work great. Doctors have never had problems with getting people to stop smoking and take up nutritional chemistry. Maybe we could get them to also tell people about evolution and tolerating other cultures while we're at it. I mean, there's nothing doctors cannot do, amiright?

Before I believe that there is a need for any one person to make sacrifices for CO2 reduction, I want to see other sacrifices made that would have a larger impact. NASCAR for instance, get rid of NASCAR. That is a step in the right direction - get rid of all forms of racing. It is just a waste of CO2. Soccer is another good thing to get rid of and so is the WNBA.

nicksteel: whatshisname: "You'll feel a lot better if you get of your fat ass and walk a bit more"

Makes sense.

but the more you exert yourself the harder you breathe. That is just producing more CO2. Best bet is to sit perfectly still and try to exhale once every five minutes.

Also, while eating healthier, don't eat anything high in fiber. That can cause increased gas, which containes CO2 and methane. Eating high fiber diets is directly contributing to global warming. The safest bet is to strap a bag to your ass to catch the greenhouse gases as they exit your body. You'll have to go sequester them somewhere safe though.

Since global warming "threatens to radically undermine the health of all peoples" (from TFA) maybe instead these doctors can go to China and helpfully explain to them why building coal power plants at a rate of two per week is not such a good idea. I'm sure they'll be thrilled for the input on both that and fart sequestration.

So they want "developed nations" to pay $5 a bbl more for oil to help fund alternatives to oil. Typical farking left wing commie pinko thinking. There isn't a single tax in any country in the world that specifically goes to what it was intended for. Did I say that clearly? As an example, the highway fuel tax. It collects far more dollars than are spent on highway building and maintenance. A country puts a tax on some product to pay for some service - the money never all goes to that service. Politicians can't keep their greedy little paws off any form of cash.

And we in developed nations are already being farked over the barrel for the price of crude. Let them bloody Arabs pay for alternative research.

And when they say "developed nations" all they really want to screw is America. Go dip into China's pocket and see what they tell you. All our money and jobs have gone there anyway.

/end rant
//please return to your regularly scheduled Farking

nicksteel: Before I believe that there is a need for any one person to make sacrifices for CO2 reduction, I want to see other sacrifices made that would have a larger impact. NASCAR for instance, get rid of NASCAR.

I've often wondered about this.

Soccer is another good thing to get rid of and so is the WNBA.

Why not the NBA too?

Rodeodoc: So they want "developed nations" to pay $5 a bbl more for oil to help fund alternatives to oil. Typical farking left wing commie pinko thinking. There isn't a single tax in any country in the world that specifically goes to what it was intended for. Did I say that clearly? As an example, the highway fuel tax. It collects far more dollars than are spent on highway building and maintenance. A country puts a tax on some product to pay for some service - the money never all goes to that service. Politicians can't keep their greedy little paws off any form of cash.

And we in developed nations are already being farked over the barrel for the price of crude. Let them bloody Arabs pay for alternative research.

And when they say "developed nations" all they really want to screw is America. Go dip into China's pocket and see what they tell you. All our money and jobs have gone there anyway.

/end rant
//please return to your regularly scheduled Farking

And just yesterday, China released a statement saying that they would be willing to reduce pollution if the RICH nations helped to pay for it.

Drizzit: nicksteel: Before I believe that there is a need for any one person to make sacrifices for CO2 reduction, I want to see other sacrifices made that would have a larger impact. NASCAR for instance, get rid of NASCAR.

I've often wondered about this.

Soccer is another good thing to get rid of and so is the WNBA.

Why not the NBA too?

works for me, I'm not a big fan any way.

stazz: Well - You're just selfish! What about the children?

"Fark the children." - George Carlin.

Why don't they have the barristers and used car salesmen spread the word, they're already paid to lie to people.

Prof Mike Gill, from the University of Surrey, who co-chairs the Climate and Health Council, outlined the plans for the medical journal The Lancet last week.

I want to hear what the fine folks at the East Anglia CRU have to say.

Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher: nicksteel: whatshisname: "You'll feel a lot better if you get of your fat ass and walk a bit more"

Makes sense.

but the more you exert yourself the harder you breathe. That is just producing more CO2. Best bet is to sit perfectly still and try to exhale once every five minutes.

Also, while eating healthier, don't eat anything high in fiber. That can cause increased gas, which containes CO2 and methane. Eating high fiber diets is directly contributing to global warming. The safest bet is to strap a bag to your ass to catch the greenhouse gases as they exit your body. You'll have to go sequester them somewhere safe though.

Since global warming "threatens to radically undermine the health of all peoples" (from TFA) maybe instead these doctors can go to China and helpfully explain to them why building coal power plants at a rate of two per week is not such a good idea. I'm sure they'll be thrilled for the input on both that and fart sequestration.

Haven't you heard, China is a poor and developing nation.

This is what a poor country looks like. Notice the lack of pollution.

Quote from the article: "Other proposals include for all developed nations to pay an extra five dollars a barrel on oil and a tax on airline tickets. This would go into a special fund to develop low-carbon alternatives to existing technologies, they say."

Always gets back to this. $$$$ Global warming/cooling has been a natural process of the earth for eons. The only difference this time is opportunists are trying to exploit it for financial and political ends. There are always enough fools that believe in rainbows and unicorns to provide a following for the exploiters and thereby make their lives mean something. "I am fighting global warming." selfhug selfhug selfhug.

The Council believes that climate change "threatens to radically undermine the health of all peoples".
===================================

Well lots of things dealing with us raping the environment has a lot to do with our declining health. Mercury in the air, toxins in the air, cities where you have to choke your air down, etc. And we should care.

But almost none of it has to do with climate change/global warming :)

Mark Steyn put it best today at NRO (new window)...

As it happens, British health professionals are already doing a terrific job at lowering your carbon footprint, especially at Basildon, Royal Bolton and Tameside hospitals (new window).

This, BTW, is the sort of thing that makes me seriously stabby. Instead of doing their farking jobs- the critical functions these sorts were hired/elected/appointed to do, they give us incompetence and an assload of politically correct crapola wrapped up in the latest shibboleths.

Inconceivable!: stickintehmud: I'll just go green and remove my own spleen. It'll save the planet from all those chemicals they'd pump me with during surgery.

Just make sure to compost the spleen properly afterwards.

You can't compost a spleen, dumdum. The raccoons will get it.

nicksteel: Before I believe that there is a need for any one person to make sacrifices for CO2 reduction, I want to see other sacrifices made that would have a larger impact. NASCAR for instance, get rid of NASCAR. That is a step in the right direction - get rid of all forms of racing. It is just a waste of CO2. Soccer is another good thing to get rid of and so is the WNBA.

WHEW! Talk about stepping on your constituency! Somehow I think politicians would see a problem with this.

stazz: nicksteel: Before I believe that there is a need for any one person to make sacrifices for CO2 reduction, I want to see other sacrifices made that would have a larger impact. NASCAR for instance, get rid of NASCAR. That is a step in the right direction - get rid of all forms of racing. It is just a waste of CO2. Soccer is another good thing to get rid of and so is the WNBA.

WHEW! Talk about stepping on your constituency! Somehow I think politicians would see a problem with this.

sacrifices must be made. Save NASCAR and kill the planet???

When it's warmer out, girls where less clothing.


just saying...

So should doctors start telling you to stop using that cellphone cause it causes cancer, and if you keep making that face it'll stick like that?

MooseUpNorth: When I'd been recovering from surgery to correct an intestinal problem, I'd had to keep reminding my dietitian to stay firmly on topic. There were a lot of foods that I simply couldn't eat because of my condition(s), and I needed to figure out a sane, balanced diet.

Cholesterol is fairly important, but a nice-to-have all the same. I didn't need her muddying the waters with information that wasn't immediately relevant to my situation.

I have fifteen minutes at a time with my doctor, and if I make an appointment at all, I'm there to address a specific, immediate concern that isn't climate change.

If I got 15 minutes in a row with my doctor, I'd be wondering if all his other patients had canceled on him that day.

Has there ever been a use of the word "peoples" that did not involve douchebaggery on some level?

I'm not going to say there is any pressing need to lower CO2 emissions or anything (as I am fairly well-off and can afford food, healthcare and, if necessary, relocation), but if combating global warming is a worthy cause, then I see no real disadvantage to using an existing communication channel to the people for that purpose.

Fon_Win: When it's warmer out, girls where less clothing.


just saying...

Wear would that be?

/had to do it....

Patient: "It hurts when I do this."

Doctor: "Yes, well, have you considered how that impacts the planet?"

Patient: "Let me show you how much it hurts."

Doctor: "Owowowowowowowow!!! Cut it out! Stop it! Owowowow! Okay, I'll give you drugs!"

jjorsett: If I got 15 minutes in a row with my doctor, I'd be wondering if all his other patients had canceled on him that day.

// or wondering how serious the news is gonna be.
a 15 min pitch should lead to a large sale.

at the 16th minute:
Hey, ar'nt you the lucky guy! we just happen to have a special deal on a used liver, btw.

Rodeodoc: So they want "developed nations" to pay $5 a bbl more for oil to help fund alternatives to oil. Typical farking left wing commie pinko thinking. There isn't a single tax in any country in the world that specifically goes to what it was intended for. Did I say that clearly? As an example, the highway fuel tax. It collects far more dollars than are spent on highway building and maintenance. A country puts a tax on some product to pay for some service - the money never all goes to that service. Politicians can't keep their greedy little paws off any form of cash.

And we in developed nations are already being farked over the barrel for the price of crude. Let them bloody Arabs pay for alternative research.

And when they say "developed nations" all they really want to screw is America. Go dip into China's pocket and see what they tell you. All our money and jobs have gone there anyway.

/end rant
//please return to your regularly scheduled Farking

You're pretty much spot on.

Oh good night nurse.

Some other planet, preferably.